Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 14:21:19 GMT -5
Doesn't that mean the filters are removing the stuff they are supposed to?
Most bottled water is just filtered water.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 14:28:23 GMT -5
I've gone to get water for patients and seen huge chunks of mold come out of the machine into the cup. We don't let immuno compromised patients drink our filtered water. Half of the hospital is very old, with old nasty pipes. Yuck.
I don't get it, I'm being told that bringing my lunch is insignificant, but then we are focusing on bottled water, which costs $3.00 for a 36 pack
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 14:35:50 GMT -5
Bringing your lunch = 3 x 20 x 52 = 3120. You can save some here, but you can't save 3120$... Food from home still costs money. You will also be adding tasks and therefore stress to your daily life, ie. You will need to pack and carry lunch and snacks, cook, etc.
I'm not saying don't do it. I think making some changes there might be beneficial. But you are exchanging a lot of effort for maybe 1200 savings a year.
Meanwhile, you say 5-6K a year on vacation is t much.
Focusing on big leaks, which can be more easily changed, is going to have more impact and be ultimately easier to employ. This is why so many focus on Disney. Also why it's important to list things from most expensive to least so you can see where $ goes.
Right now you spend about half your mortgage on Disney. Not insignificant.
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Dec 26, 2014 14:36:43 GMT -5
I'm not saying it's insignificant, but was just wondering. Yea, if mold comes out than ew. I'm guessing they give immune compromised people bottled water than?
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 14:42:17 GMT -5
Bringing your lunch = 3 x 20 x 52 = 3120. You can save some here, but you can't save 3120$... Food from home still costs money. You will also be adding tasks and therefore stress to your daily life, ie. You will need to pack and carry lunch and snacks, cook, etc. I'm not saying don't do it. I think making some changes there might be beneficial. But you are exchanging a lot of effort for maybe 1200 savings a year. Meanwhile, you say 5-6K a year on vacation is t much. Focusing on big leaks, which can be more easily changed, is going to have more impact and be ultimately easier to employ. This is why so many focus on Disney. Also why it's important to list things from most expensive to least so you can see where $ goes. Right now you spend about half your mortgage on Disney. Not insignificant. I get much more enjoyment from disney than from buying low grade cafeteria food. I would mostly bring leftovers, so our food costs wouldn't go up much, and it would be healthier and tastier, plus I would save some money.
|
|
tcu2003
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 31, 2010 15:24:01 GMT -5
Posts: 4,955
|
Post by tcu2003 on Dec 26, 2014 14:50:47 GMT -5
I've gone to get water for patients and seen huge chunks of mold come out of the machine into the cup. We don't let immuno compromised patients drink our filtered water. Half of the hospital is very old, with old nasty pipes. Yuck. I don't get it, I'm being told that bringing my lunch is insignificant, but then we are focusing on bottled water, which costs $3.00 for a 36 pack I was just trying to find a low-hanging fruit/easy change to make. And having a cup at work means you wouldn't have to remember water every day. That said, I wouldn't drink the water you describe, said I understand why that's not an option. And I do think bringing lunches will help, even if it's not a huge ticket help. It helps establish a mindset of saving money, and for me, helps me eat healthier, which is important to me.
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Dec 26, 2014 14:52:32 GMT -5
We're not saying never go to Disney, but when you have 20k in consumer debt (and car loan and student loan) saving a thousand a year by bringing your lunch sometime isn't going to put a dent in anytime soon (there's a good chance interest is more than that) but 6000 would.
If you prioritize Disney then you need to find where there 3k or more a month they estimated goes and decide to cut a lot of that instead.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 15:11:17 GMT -5
I said I am willing to compromise and give up Chicago for $3000 if need be That, plus the $1000 lunch savings, plus cutting way back on the shopping, should be more than enough to allow the September disney trip.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 15:13:11 GMT -5
And really, I would rather work the 5 extra shifts it would take to pay for the trip than to give it up completely.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 15:14:47 GMT -5
I loathe debt, I mean absolutely hate it. The happiness I would get from paying off all that crap I bought (and now hate picking up ) would be greater than the happiness I would get from a vacation, so I would be all about buckling down and making it happen to get that noose off of my neck. The no saving/investing for retirement would stress me out even more. Again, I couldn't vacation that uneasy feeling away. Now, to be honest, I was a lot like you until I was about 30 too. I was always a retirement saver, but I spent a lot too and wasn't afraid to take out loans, loans and more loans. Then a couple things happened where I realized how crippling that lifestyle is. I know not everyone here are big Dave Ramsey fans, but to me "Financial Peace" really is wonderful and has nothing to do with income. Just living within it whatever that may be.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 15:17:42 GMT -5
I loathe debt, I mean absolutely hate it. The happiness I would get from paying off all that crap I bought (and now hate picking up ) would be greater than the happiness I would get from a vacation, so I would be all about buckling down and making it happen to get that noose off of my neck. The no saving/investing for retirement would stress me out even more. Again, I couldn't vacation that uneasy feeling away. Now, to be honest, I was a lot like you until I was about 30 too. I was always a retirement saver, but I spent a lot too and wasn't afraid to take out loans, loans and more loans. Then a couple things happened where I realized how crippling that lifestyle is. I know not everyone here are big Dave Ramsey fans, but to me "Financial Peace" really is wonderful and has nothing to do with income. Just living within it whatever that may be. To be fair, we do have some retirement savings in DH name, and we have our daughter's college fund.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 15:20:57 GMT -5
I also think I can get our groceries/toiletries expense to $600 month, saving another $2400 or so. And with gas prices going down like they have, that will help some.
I currently pay $8.00/day to park at work, but when the days get longer and its not dark when I get off work, I can cut that down to $2.50/day by parking in a lot further away. I won't walk there in the dark though, too dangerous of a part of town. Although I guess that is another insignificant savings.
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Dec 26, 2014 15:25:47 GMT -5
I said I am willing to compromise and give up Chicago for $3000 if need be That, plus the $1000 lunch savings, plus cutting way back on the shopping, should be more than enough to allow the September disney trip. You would have a point if you were successfully living within your means while saving for retirement.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 15:26:01 GMT -5
How much enjoyment is the 20k in debt bringing you? I might be be at the end of my constructive feedback time ... I think if you do as others have said and track your spending and prioritize, you could be ok. I'm not really sure you want to... But that's your choice, not mine. Just keep in mind trading life for debt. The idea that you need to work more so that you can escape your life which is stressful because you work too much is a bit nonsensical to me... But we all make our own choices. Good luck to you.
|
|
wonderland
Junior Member
Joined: Dec 24, 2014 19:06:29 GMT -5
Posts: 212
|
Post by wonderland on Dec 26, 2014 15:30:59 GMT -5
How much enjoyment is the 20k in debt bringing you? I might be be at the end of my constructive feedback time ... I think if you do as others have said and track your spending and prioritize, you could be ok. I'm not really sure you want to... But that's your choice, not mine. Just keep in mind trading life for debt. The idea that you need to work more so that you can escape your life which is stressful because you work too much is a bit nonsensical to me... But we all make our own choices. Good luck to you. In all honesty, it isn't really bothering my a whole lot, but I know I need to get it under control. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Why can't I cut back on some (most) of the frivolous spending, but leave room for the nice vacation at the end of the year? I'll still be making progress toward financial stability, but I will also get to enjoy the fruits of my labor a little bit.
|
|
quince
Senior Member
Joined: Sept 23, 2011 17:51:12 GMT -5
Posts: 2,699
|
Post by quince on Dec 26, 2014 15:34:08 GMT -5
I think it might have to do with the nice vacations during the year...
Or next year are you planning on just the nice vacation at the end of the year?
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 15:39:15 GMT -5
No one said it had to be all or nothing.
However, I personally don't think you play along the path the financial STABILiTY. Security is the state of being free from danger and threat. That is bare minimum in my book.
You can play a little on the way down financial growth. You can play on the way to wealth...
But you don't play on the way to stability and security.
At least I would not. What you describe currently lacks stability and security. No way I'd exchange fun for those things. I would track my spending and spend NOTHING frivolous until I have a hold on where money goes. Then I'd prioritize and DEBT and EF and Retirement would get top marks this year. THEN I would prioritize other things.
I would also be looking at my life and what I can do to ease stress and give me and my family pleasure and joy on a daily basis.
This is just what I did however. You are free to have your own opinions and choices.
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Dec 26, 2014 15:44:51 GMT -5
Things don't really make her as happy as you think they do. Trust me, I have 3 kids. I bought a boatload of "things" most of which shortly wound up in the basement and taken to Goodwill. How many things does a 2 yr old need to have fun and play with? What things do a 2 yr old need besides crayons and paper, a doll and some building blocks or something. And a ball LOL. Spent a lot on expensive toys to have them overshadowed by a 99c ball
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,138
|
Post by giramomma on Dec 26, 2014 15:46:46 GMT -5
In all honesty, it isn't really bothering my a whole lot, but I know I need to get it under control. Why does it have to be all or nothing? Why can't I cut back on some (most) of the frivolous spending, but leave room for the nice vacation at the end of the year? I'll still be making progress toward financial stability, but I will also get to enjoy the fruits of my labor a little bit. I don't think it has to be all or nothing. We're suggesting some modesty. Nice vacations are for when you are on track or ahead for retirement, have a FFEF, little to no consumer debt, etc. But, you aren't there. Have you considered asking your therapist to work through your money issues with you? I wish we could all tell you, absolutely, you and your child deserve whatever you can buy now, because you had a lean childhood at best. I wish we could, really. But it doesn't work that way. No on "deserves" to spend without a thought to to future, except for maybe Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. While we weren't so broke that we were homeless, I grew up with less than more. I *get* the desire to give your kid(s) a better life. My kids know, however, that they "deserve" what they've earned, after the appropriate amount of money has been saved. They also know that we COULD choose to spend most everything, but my 10 year old agreed that he would prefer for us to save for retirement over him having to support us in our old age.
|
|
Formerly SK
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 27, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,255
|
Post by Formerly SK on Dec 26, 2014 15:50:12 GMT -5
How much enjoyment is the 20k in debt bringing you? I might be be at the end of my constructive feedback time ... I think if you do as others have said and track your spending and prioritize, you could be ok. I'm not really sure you want to... But that's your choice, not mine. Just keep in mind trading life for debt. The idea that you need to work more so that you can escape your life which is stressful because you work too much is a bit nonsensical to me... But we all make our own choices. Good luck to you. Just reading about your life stresses me out. You both appear to be workaholics, and yet not even really happy about it. You also don't appear to have control over yourself nor are living consciously. How much time do the three of you spend together every day where you are doing nothing but having fun together? I would really encourage you to get some counseling because I can't figure out what your priorities are. Also, childhood trauma should NOT be dictating your life at this point. You seem to have this knee jerk reaction to do the opposite of your childhood regardless of the logic, and that's not a great thing to be doing in your 30s. I think some counseling would really help you become more logic-focused instead of emotion-focused. BTW, the opposite of poverty is not lots of stuff/vacations. The opposite of poverty is wealth. You don't have any wealth. Your child may not be living in a tent, but I don't know that you are providing as much security as you think.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 15:50:41 GMT -5
Compound interest, compound interest, compound interest.
|
|
giramomma
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Feb 3, 2011 11:25:27 GMT -5
Posts: 22,138
|
Post by giramomma on Dec 26, 2014 15:52:24 GMT -5
OP- Here's one more thing that I'd like you to consider.
As my kids have gotten to be school age, my kids hands down want my time and energy over things.
They would rather me be driving them to activities, be den leader, be room mom, be team rep, go to all their plays, etc during school, go to field trips, help them with homework, etc, etc, etc, over having stuff.
We CAN give them time my kids crave, for the most part, because we took care of financial house when they were young and didn't remember anything.
I know the debt doesn't bother you, but wouldn't you feel bad if you had to tell your DD continually, "No, I can't be involved with you at school like you would like because I have to work to pay off debt."
I can assure you, my kids don't remember what they got from Santa at 2, 3, 4. But my 10 year old most assuredly remembers whether or not we fulfilled his emotional needs.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 15:53:48 GMT -5
To be fair, we do have some retirement savings in DH name, and we have our daughter's college fund. It's great that he started, but you realize the recommended retirement savings rate is a minimum of 10-15%? That's 12-18K/year for you. I'm not meaning to discourage vacations, just change your mindset on spending.
|
|
mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
Posts: 31,770
Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
Location: Memory Lane
Favorite Drink: Water
|
Post by mmhmm on Dec 26, 2014 15:55:10 GMT -5
Your expenses, as shown, are very reasonable for your income. You're bleeding money because - well, because your impulse spending is completely out of control. That's not something budgeting is going to help you overcome, really. That's something you're going to have to change within yourself. You don't have to buy everything you see that you think you might like, or your daughter might like, or the kid next door might like, or ... you get the idea. Perhaps, if you put yourself on a dollar diet by taking out only so much per week for your personal spending (like an allowance) and NOT going over that amount, I don't care how good the <insert impulse want here> looks, you should be able to manage very, very well without cutting back on anything other than the impulse spending. At least, that's how it looks to me.
Personally, I use a credit card for everything. I don't carry cash. At the end of the month, I pay off the balance in full and have a record of where every penny went. I'm a recovered impulse spender and that approach has worked very well for me.
|
|
phil5185
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 15:45:49 GMT -5
Posts: 6,412
|
Post by phil5185 on Dec 26, 2014 15:59:56 GMT -5
Like I said earlier - you can enjoy spending everything that you & DH earn ABOVE & BEYOND the $7500/yr Plan to $1.6M at age 60.
At $120k gross income there is nothing wrong with frivolous spending - except for the $7500/yr. (It's actually only 6.5% of your income, enjoy the other 93%, no guilt-trip needed).
BTW, I said the exact same thing about tents that you said. In 1957 in the Army I spent 3 weeks in an Army tent in the mountains, in the snow. I said 'never again'. But years later, with DW & 2 daughters, in beautiful mountains/woods in nice weather, I found the opposite to be true. A matter of attitude I guess - the difference between doing it voluntarily vs being ordered?
Yeah, that's a trade-off that you can make. But is this really for you? How much fun is Disney for a 30-yr-old adult? It was OK for the first couple times, but I'm not likely to do that again. (And as we all tell you - the 2-yr-old will not remember any of this.)
|
|
Ombud
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 14, 2013 23:21:04 GMT -5
Posts: 7,600
|
Post by Ombud on Dec 26, 2014 16:00:21 GMT -5
wonderland, just a few points (1) welcome, (2) kudos on his retirement fund & DDs college savings, (3) come see us on Women in Red ... not just for women but for anyone trying to dig out from under without giving it all up
|
|
gooddecisions
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 13:42:28 GMT -5
Posts: 2,418
|
Post by gooddecisions on Dec 26, 2014 16:20:37 GMT -5
Workaholics? She works 2-3 days a week with 4-5 days off every week. That's my dream job. I'll grant the husband's full-time job, plus grad school, plus volunteering to be a bit much- but that sounds temporary.
|
|
justme
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 10, 2012 13:12:47 GMT -5
Posts: 14,618
|
Post by justme on Dec 26, 2014 16:27:35 GMT -5
Well it's 12-16 hour days and she says the job and taking care of the house is so stressful that they need the expensive vacations to relax. But then to afford the expensive vacation she's going to take on added shifts at her stressful job? Leaving her less time to take care of all of the other stuff?
|
|
Apple
Junior Associate
Always travel with a sense of humor
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:51:04 GMT -5
Posts: 9,938
Mini-Profile Name Color: dc0e29
|
Post by Apple on Dec 26, 2014 16:29:16 GMT -5
Ok... My first post was about "figure out your priorities". To me, you have one figured out-- Disney trip.
Now, you make enough to make this trip happen, but also enough to take care of all the other things.
Avoid the online shopping, it's hurting your ability to save. You said you do it when your daughter is napping, so sounds like it's a "I keep quiet to not wake her up, but now I'm bored" type thing. Find something else to do. Research recipes, things you can do with your daughter, cute kid photography ideas (you don't need a fancy camera, just be creative), easy inexpensive crafts. The point is to turn something that is harming you financially into something that can increase the quality of your life.
Is your daughter potty trained? If not, diapers are one of the areas you're spending money on, but they aren't on your list. You don't have to pay for child care, and this is really able to set you thousands ahead every year, if you don't blow the money.
How much is the interest on all the cards? Do you have a plan in place to pay them off (smallest balance first, highest interest first...?) If not, get that plan in place and start doing it, no excuses.
You mention prices for the Disney trip, and gas+hotel really does sound reasonable, but where is all that other money going to make it $3k? Are you doing Character breakfasts every day? If so, plan on doing ONE. Souvenirs? How many do you need? I know rides you off in gift shops, but that doesn't mean you must buy something. Limit that spending to one souvenir for the entire trip. Take lots of photos and let a photo album that you put together when you get home be the main souvenir.
Instead of "if I work x number days I can pay for this", start thinking about how much just mindless spending is costing you. "If I buy everything in the cart, it's going to cost me this many hours at work...dip into my vacation fund...prevent me from paying off x debt..." You plan to homeschool, and when you get there, working extra days is not going to be an option, so figure out how to make things happen without those extra days now (and plan to spend the money from the extra days to pay off debt instead of vacation--plan your vacations with money you already have, not more money you can get--at least until the debt is paid off).
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 6, 2024 11:14:36 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2014 16:33:43 GMT -5
Avoid the online shopping, it's hurting your ability to save. You said you do it when your daughter is napping, so sounds like it's a "I keep quiet to not wake her up, but now I'm bored" type thing. Find something else to do. Research recipes, things you can do with your daughter, cute kid photography ideas (you don't need a fancy camera, just be creative), easy inexpensive crafts. The point is to turn something that is harming you financially into something that can increase the quality of your life.Read this board, and some of the books suggested. I also like Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover and Bogleheads Guide to Investing.
|
|