AA what is it?

[tloonya]

Just found out that close friend had been joining AA for almost 20 years.
Went on researching about it and saw that it is a cult. Some calling it that.
I am scared. What is it really and why is my friend going there 3 times per week for all these years?
Is it fun that much to spend so much time over there or it is a cult?

[Deleted]

seriously?  AA is alcoholics anonymous....it's a support group for people who are alcoholics....when you first enter into sobriety it's recommended that you attend at least one meeting a day, if not more.

a cult? SMH

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

AA is alcoholics anonymous....it's a support group for people who are alcoholics....



It helps people stay on the wagon because you have a support group made up of people who understand what you're going thru.  You're less likely to start drinking again if you know you have a safe place to talk.

[andi9899]

Alcoholics Anonymous is a place where recovering alcoholics go to give support to one another. Part of their recovery is to go to these meetings. They start with going every day at first and after a while can go less frequently. One cannot truly know how someone else feels without having walked in their shoes, so they go to AA where everyone has been there and can understand what they are going through. No cults.

[Tennesseer]

Your friend realizes he has a very strong urge to go back to being a drunk. AA helps him keep those urges in check. Some folks need a daily meeting or more. Others, once a week or month. Some just an occassional drop in for a "booster shot".

Not a cult but may not be understood well by some who do not drink or drink in moderation.

[Deleted]

I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun".  I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober?

[tloonya]

I know that
Alcoholics Anonymous is a place where recovering alcoholics go to give support to one another...
Thanks

I had not known that you can be there like for...life!

[TheHaitian]

Dec 3, 2014 10:14:43 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I had not known that you can be there like for...life!

There is no cure for being an alcoholic.

So yes, you can be there for "Life" if you are serious about staying sober.

[Tennesseer]

Dec 3, 2014 10:14:43 GMT -5 tloonya said:

I know that
Alcoholics Anonymous is a place where recovering alcoholics go to give support to one another...
Thanks

I had not known that you can be there like for...life!

Those attending are recovering alcoholics for life.

[tloonya]

Dec 3, 2014 10:13:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun".  I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober?

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

[movingforward]

Alcoholics are ALWAYS alcoholics.  It isn't like the flu that goes away in a week.  Addicts still crave their substance of choice 20 or 30 yrs later (or so I am told).

[andi9899]

You don't have to go there for life necessarily, but all are welcome to. Lots go there well after they get sober when they have a bad day, or if they just need to talk. It's the one place they can go and let it all out without being judged and that is a huge comfort for them.

[Deleted]

Many continue going to offer support to others just starting out. 

[andi9899]

So do you feel any different about said person knowing that they are a recovering alcoholic?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

AA doesn't have a time limit on how long you can be a member. You're a member for as long as you feel you need to be. For some people a couple of meetings are enough, for others they continue to attend for a lifetime. You're never "cured" of being an alcoholic and how much support you need/want is highly personal.

And like Minnesota said he may have stayed on to be a sponsor for others who are entering the program.

[TheHaitian]

Ex: it is not even 11 and having a really shitty day at work.

If I was an alcoholic I would need to go to a meeting to suppress the craving.

Since I am not, I am just grabbing some beer on my way out of work!

One of the few good things about working in a grocery store!!!

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2014 10:36:55 GMT -5 TheHaitian said:

Ex: it is not even 11 and having a really shitty day at work.

If I was an alcoholic I would need to go to a meeting to suppress the craving.

Since I am not, I am just grabbing some beer on my way out of work!

One of the few good things about working in a grocery store!!!

A grocery store not in MN.  They can't sell alcohol in ours. 

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2014 10:19:09 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:13:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun".  I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober?

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Wow! That is a really twisted article. Some of the points are outright lies and others are interpreted in the strangest way.

To be clear, though some individuals in AA try to be controlling, as a fellowship it is well documented that AA makes suggestions of what to do based on the individual's stated goal of staying sober. It is documented that no member of AA HAS to do anything. Actually that seems to be the biggest fault with this article. It has taken things that were possibly said by individual AA members that are a distortion of what is actually agreed on and taught.

[Shooby]

You never heard of AA? Seriously? Wow.

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2014 10:19:09 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:13:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun".  I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober?

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Most people don't advertise they go to AA.  Go to a meeting once to check it out.

I went to al-anon for awhile trying to find something to help cope with my husbands addictions, but it wasn't for me. 

[Angel!]

Dec 3, 2014 10:19:09 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:13:31 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun".  I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober?

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Ok, I don't feel like reading the whole thing, but in the first paragraph I can tell you this is bullshit:

"Many of the true believers in Alcoholics Anonymous actually believe that Bill Wilson's writings were inspired by God, just like the Bible."  I don't know anyone that would compare his book to the bible.  It is a good book that has helped millions, but he isn't a prophet and it wasn't directed by god.  So I'm going to guess much of the rest of the paper is bullshit as well.

But, even if you want to call it a cult - a cult that doesn't require you to give money, doesn't force you to abandon you belongings or your life, doesn't require you to attend meetings, but is there when you need them, and that helps you live a better fuller life by keeping you sober is in no way a bad thing.  Hell, I wouldn't consider any more of a cult than any other religion.  Actually, just going through the titles in that paper, every major religion would qualify as a cult under this definition. 

It is a support group for people that have problems that 95% of the population doesn't understand because their brains are wired different than the rest of us.  So they struggle with issues we do not.  And as was said, you can't cure alcoholism.  Some get sober & can stay sober without much help, others fight cravings daily & a single drink would be enough to fall off the wagon for years.

[giramomma]

Addiction recovery needs to be managed just like diabetes. It's not like cancer where you are "cured" and then go on with your life. At some point, hopefully, your new recovery behaviors simply are your new lifestyle, which will hopefully lessen the chances of a relapse.

And, yes, AA is not perfect. Sometimes, in a setting where people are emotionally intimate, boundaries get crossed. It happens.

Both my Dh and I went to the "required" 6 meetings to see if a 12 step tradition was for us. We both learned, it wasn't.

[Angel!]

Dec 3, 2014 10:45:22 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:19:09 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Most people don't advertise they go to AA.  Go to a meeting once to check it out.

I went to al-anon for awhile trying to find something to help cope with my husbands addictions, but it wasn't for me. 

  I went as well.  It helped me to talk with others struggling, but I wasn't a fan of the program.  Looking back maybe I wasn't ready to accept some of it.  I didn't yet want to believe I was powerless.  But my biggest issue really was that if you don't believe there is some higher power helping you through life (I don't), then 5 of the 12 steps just feel like utter BS.

[tloonya]

Dec 3, 2014 10:44:52 GMT -5 Shooby said:

You never heard of AA? Seriously? Wow.

Reply#6. You are welcome.

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2014 10:55:43 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:45:22 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Most people don't advertise they go to AA.  Go to a meeting once to check it out.

I went to al-anon for awhile trying to find something to help cope with my husbands addictions, but it wasn't for me. 

  I went as well.  It helped me to talk with others struggling, but I wasn't a fan of the program.  Looking back maybe I wasn't ready to accept some of it.  I didn't yet want to believe I was powerless.  But my biggest issue really was that if you don't believe there is some higher power helping you through life (I don't), then 5 of the 12 steps just feel like utter BS.

Yes, there was that, and with the group I went to, a lot of the people there had long since cut the toxic person out of their lives, they had either divorced or the person's addiction had finally killed them, but they kept coming week after week to talk about all the horrible things that had happened to them when living with an addict.  We're talking 20-30 years later.   Now, to be fair, I didn't go long enough to give it a chance, and it could be that they needed the group to prevent becoming involved in similar relationships in the future, but it all seemed like a pathetic "feeling sorry for ourselves" group. 

[tloonya]

Dec 3, 2014 10:21:43 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

So do you feel any different about said person knowing that they are a recovering alcoholic?

Yes. Still love him but very nervous. I had heard him on the phone before and thought something was going on.
I had even asked 'are you drunk' and of course the answer was 'no'.
But I am feeling so nervous about it. Seeing him now as a person who thinks of
an alcohol all the time...I am so so sorry and I wish I could change it.

[Angel!]

Dec 3, 2014 11:04:14 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:55:43 GMT -5 Angel! said:

  I went as well.  It helped me to talk with others struggling, but I wasn't a fan of the program.  Looking back maybe I wasn't ready to accept some of it.  I didn't yet want to believe I was powerless.  But my biggest issue really was that if you don't believe there is some higher power helping you through life (I don't), then 5 of the 12 steps just feel like utter BS.

Yes, there was that, and with the group I went to, a lot of the people there had long since cut the toxic person out of their lives, they had either divorced or the person's addiction had finally killed them, but they kept coming week after week to talk about all the horrible things that had happened to them when living with an addict.  We're talking 20-30 years later.   Now, to be fair, I didn't go long enough to give it a chance, and it could be that they needed the group to prevent becoming involved in similar relationships in the future, but it all seemed like a pathetic "feeling sorry for ourselves" group. 

Yeah, maybe a way to connect when you can't move on from the past & no one else wants to hear it anymore. The one that really hit me was this guy in his 60's who was there because his dad was an alcoholic. His dad had been dead for over a decade & it sounds like they didn't have much of a relationship by the time the guy was an adult. Yet in his 60's he was still screwed up to be going to these meetings. That is when I did some research on the children of alcoholics & how truly messed up they can become.  Ever since then I think of that guy & tell myself I won't let my son become that guy. That is really the one good lesson I got out of the meetings.

Ex & I have been divorced for 9 months now & I in no way feel like I still need a support group like that at this point. There are still days when I get angry over the past. But, I need to focus on the future & move on with my life. Let the past go & focus on not making the same mistakes again.  How sad for some to be unable to get over the past.

[Tennesseer]

Dec 3, 2014 10:41:27 GMT -5 laterbloomer said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:19:09 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read
about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit.
www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.html

Wow! That is a really twisted article. Some of the points are outright lies and others are interpreted in the strangest way.

To be clear, though some individuals in AA try to be controlling, as a fellowship it is well documented that AA makes suggestions of what to do based on the individual's stated goal of staying sober. It is documented that no member of AA HAS to do anything. Actually that seems to be the biggest fault with this article. It has taken things that were possibly said by individual AA members that are a distortion of what is actually agreed on and taught.

When you type into Google, 'AA' and 'cult', that article is at the top. My guess is it is the most viewed article of those search words because some folks who should be attending AA are trying very hard to find an excuse not to attend the meetings. Of course I have no facts to back up my thought as it is just an opinion.

It was a bizarre article and the author seems to has some axe to grind with AA.

[Deleted]

Dec 3, 2014 11:06:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Dec 3, 2014 10:21:43 GMT -5 andi9899 said:

So do you feel any different about said person knowing that they are a recovering alcoholic?

Yes. Still love him but very nervous. I had heard him on the phone before and thought something was going on.
I had even asked 'are you drunk' and of course the answer was 'no'.
But I am feeling so nervous about it. Seeing him now as a person who thinks of
an alcohol all the time...I am so so sorry and I wish I could change it.

Nervous about what?  That he's going to start drinking?   And you don't know what he's thinking all the time. 

[tloonya]

Dec 3, 2014 11:29:25 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Dec 3, 2014 11:06:41 GMT -5 tloonya said:

Yes. Still love him but very nervous. I had heard him on the phone before and thought something was going on.
I had even asked 'are you drunk' and of course the answer was 'no'.
But I am feeling so nervous about it. Seeing him now as a person who thinks of
an alcohol all the time...I am so so sorry and I wish I could change it.

Nervous about what?  That he's going to start drinking?   And you don't know what he's thinking all the time. 

Yeah.
And no, I do not know what he is thinking. But if he is going 3 times per week it means he is thinking of drinking A LOT!