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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 11:36:04 GMT -5
Nervous about what? That he's going to start drinking? And you don't know what he's thinking all the time. Yeah. His drinking or not drinking is his cross to bear, not yours. That's why he goes to AA. And I would say, if he's been successfully sticking to it for 20 years he's doing a pretty good job.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Dec 3, 2014 11:38:26 GMT -5
Here is the perfect place to ask your question, Tloonya. Roygrip is a member of AA, as are some others on the thread, I believe. It's not a cult, IMO. It's an association for people who suffer from alcohol addiction - a place they can go to meet with others who are battling the same problem, and find support and help. It works wonderfully well for many, many people. Do some reading in the thread I've linked to.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 3, 2014 12:06:20 GMT -5
Ex: it is not even 11 and having a really shitty day at work. If I was an alcoholic I would need to go to a meeting to suppress the craving. Since I am not, I am just grabbing some beer on my way out of work! One of the few good things about working in a grocery store!!! A grocery store not in MN. They can't sell alcohol in ours. In KS, you can only get watered down beer. In MO, you can get whatever alcohol you want. I live on the line between the two states, so I just drive across the bridge and into MO so I can get whatever I want. Prices are lower in MO too!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 12:22:24 GMT -5
A grocery store not in MN. They can't sell alcohol in ours. In KS, you can only get watered down beer. In MO, you can get whatever alcohol you want. I live on the line between the two states, so I just drive across the bridge and into MO so I can get whatever I want. Prices are lower in MO too! I have the same situation. Only 3.2 beer in the grocery or gas stations, and no sales on Sunday, but I'm right on the WI border and they have none of those regulations.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 3, 2014 12:26:31 GMT -5
In KS, you can only get watered down beer. In MO, you can get whatever alcohol you want. I live on the line between the two states, so I just drive across the bridge and into MO so I can get whatever I want. Prices are lower in MO too! I have the same situation. Only 3.2 beer in the grocery or gas stations, and no sales on Sunday, but I'm right on the WI border and they have none of those regulations. Are you, guys, heading to AA?
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 3, 2014 12:28:19 GMT -5
In KS, you can only get watered down beer. In MO, you can get whatever alcohol you want. I live on the line between the two states, so I just drive across the bridge and into MO so I can get whatever I want. Prices are lower in MO too! I have the same situation. Only 3.2 beer in the grocery or gas stations, and no sales on Sunday, but I'm right on the WI border and they have none of those regulations. Yep! They tried the no alcohol on Sunday thing around here several years ago. It didn't last long. They figured out that people were just crossing the state line and got rid of it rather than give MO all the revenue. Also, a KS liquor store cannot sell anything that doesn't have alcohol in it. So you can buy a bottle of Jack, but can't buy the coke. Wonder if that will ever change. Probably not, it's been that way as long as I remember.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 12:52:52 GMT -5
Nervous about what? That he's going to start drinking? And you don't know what he's thinking all the time. Yeah. And no, I do not know what he is thinking. But if he is going 3 times per week it means he is thinking of drinking A LOT! it means he's doing whatever he has to in order to stay sober...so what?
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Dec 3, 2014 13:01:14 GMT -5
But if he is going 3 times per week it means he is thinking of drinking A LOT!
No it doesn't. In fact it probably means the opposite, he's going to AA meetings so he's NOT constantly thinking about drinking.
Part of becoming a recovering addict is recognizing your triggers and replacing the current coping method (drinking) with healthier ones. That way you're not automatically reaching for a bottle whenever you find yourself in a position where one of your triggers is pulled.
Apparently for your friend attending AA meetings 3x a week is what he chose as his coping method. If he's been sober for 20 years that's pretty impressive and AA has done him a world of good. He should keep going!
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 13:19:59 GMT -5
Nervous about what? That he's going to start drinking? And you don't know what he's thinking all the time. Yeah. And no, I do not know what he is thinking. But if he is going 3 times per week it means he is thinking of drinking A LOT! No it doesn't. He is dealing with life on life's terms. He has friends there and he's helping other people get sober.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Dec 3, 2014 13:22:45 GMT -5
I have the same situation. Only 3.2 beer in the grocery or gas stations, and no sales on Sunday, but I'm right on the WI border and they have none of those regulations. Yep! They tried the no alcohol on Sunday thing around here several years ago. It didn't last long. They figured out that people were just crossing the state line and got rid of it rather than give MO all the revenue. Also, a KS liquor store cannot sell anything that doesn't have alcohol in it. So you can buy a bottle of Jack, but can't buy the coke. Wonder if that will ever change. Probably not, it's been that way as long as I remember.Really? Interesting. I've never heard of that before. Our liquor stores sell the soda and all the mixers, which is nice. They also usually have fresh lemons and limes at the register! Handy.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 13:26:19 GMT -5
After 29 years it is more like getting together with your friends for an hour or so a few times a week. There's really nothing dramatic about it.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 13:50:35 GMT -5
Yes, there was that, and with the group I went to, a lot of the people there had long since cut the toxic person out of their lives, they had either divorced or the person's addiction had finally killed them, but they kept coming week after week to talk about all the horrible things that had happened to them when living with an addict. We're talking 20-30 years later. Now, to be fair, I didn't go long enough to give it a chance, and it could be that they needed the group to prevent becoming involved in similar relationships in the future, but it all seemed like a pathetic "feeling sorry for ourselves" group. Yeah, maybe a way to connect when you can't move on from the past & no one else wants to hear it anymore. The one that really hit me was this guy in his 60's who was there because his dad was an alcoholic. His dad had been dead for over a decade & it sounds like they didn't have much of a relationship by the time the guy was an adult. Yet in his 60's he was still screwed up to be going to these meetings. That is when I did some research on the children of alcoholics & how truly messed up they can become. Ever since then I think of that guy & tell myself I won't let my son become that guy. That is really the one good lesson I got out of the meetings.
I was in Al-Anon for about a year (support group for people in a relationship with an alcoholic- in my case, my first husband). I got some use out of it but I remember one older guy whose alcoholic ex-wife had died years ago and he still came to meetings because he found they taught him a good way to live his life, or something like that. I found that weird, but whatever helps...I started dating the guy who is now my current DH shortly after my divorce and since the meetings were on Friday nights and DH and I tended to do things together on the weekends I stopped going to meetings. AA is not a cult and you definitely are not required to believe the words of Bill W. are inspired by God. They do rely on a "higher power" but that can be Vishnu, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or the power imbedded in healing crystals. Whatever floats your boat.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Dec 3, 2014 13:56:57 GMT -5
After 35 years, it's being able to share my experience, strength and hope to help others achieve sobriety.
AA....it works if you work it.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 14:44:23 GMT -5
I think I can speak on this, having been a member for 6 years. There is a cult-like feeling there and some brainwashing going on. If it helps someone recover, that's fine. I found it wasn't for me, and I'm still sober. It depends on the person going.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Dec 3, 2014 14:54:17 GMT -5
Yep! They tried the no alcohol on Sunday thing around here several years ago. It didn't last long. They figured out that people were just crossing the state line and got rid of it rather than give MO all the revenue. Also, a KS liquor store cannot sell anything that doesn't have alcohol in it. So you can buy a bottle of Jack, but can't buy the coke. Wonder if that will ever change. Probably not, it's been that way as long as I remember.Really? Interesting. I've never heard of that before. Our liquor stores sell the soda and all the mixers, which is nice. They also usually have fresh lemons and limes at the register! Handy. KS is a very weird state. There are all kinds of rules that make no sense. Everything is bassackwards in KS.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 3, 2014 20:01:41 GMT -5
That article is neat loony. I can see where the author is coming from and how some of the things described do happen, but they aren't organizationally approved. You have to remember that it is alcoholics that go to AA and alcoholics are not famous for their ethics and good character. I don't necessarily disagree that Bill W and Dr. Bob were jerks. That makes it all that much more miraculous that they delivered a messaged that has helped so many people sober up. The author does have a really weird interpretation of the steps, what they mean and what they intend.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on Dec 3, 2014 20:56:29 GMT -5
There's a religious aspect to AA that may not sit well with some but if you ever go to a meeting you will see that being there for some people keeps them from falling off the wagon. Being able to talk with other alcoholics who have addictive personalities helps them deal with it in a way that non-alcoholics can't relate.
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Virgil Showlion
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Post by Virgil Showlion on Dec 5, 2014 9:09:42 GMT -5
I doubt anyone going to AA considers it "fun". I don't know why you'd be afraid of someone trying to stay sober? Because for how long it is going on...and we didn't know. And now it is like WOW! And then someone gave me this thing to read about them being a cult. Pretty scary shit. www.orange-papers.org/orange-cult_a0.htmlThis particular AA critic is... to put it gently... not particularly stable or rational, which I think most people could determine even without knowing anything about AA. If you want to know why he's a critic, see his points 9 and 10 at the bottom of the document. Personally, I'd recommend you treat his writings as nothing more than an academic curiosity.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 5, 2014 9:14:27 GMT -5
Well, going by the dictionary definition of cult, AA could be considered one, but so could any religion.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Dec 5, 2014 12:06:58 GMT -5
Well, going by the dictionary definition of cult, AA could be considered one, but so could any religion. Yeah, I think if no one asks you to join and shed part of your earing - not a cult.
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