Would you consider donating a kidney?

[mollyanna58]

And if so, would you only do it for a family member, or also among your circle of friends?

My brother called me this morning.  A good friend needs a kidney transplant.  My brother is being tested to see if he's a match. 

My aunt told me recently that my cousin needs a transplant as well.  She is currently doing home dialysis every night.  I was too cowardly to ask my cousin directly about it.  I was afraid that if I asked if there was anything I could do, she might ask me about donating.  I really don't want to be asked that question, because I know I would say "no". 

I just sent a Facebook message to my cousin because her dad was just sent home from the hospital for hospice care, and I asked if I could do anything to help.  However, I'm thinking more along the lines of sending money so she can go visit her dad before he passes away.

So, for me, give money: yes. Give an organ: no.  My answer might be different for a sibling.

[Deleted]

I would for a close family member.  I don't know about friend or acquaintance, but the chances of being a match for them is low anyhow.

[hoops902]

I'd do it for an immediate family member, but that's probably about it.

[ArchietheDragon]

Could I still make sweet love without a kidney?

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I'd do it for DH or the kids.  I'd probably do it for my parents and brother.

Those are the only people I am close enough to that I would consider giving up an organ for and facing the risks that come with the surgery.

[midjd]

There's a program where if a close friend or family member needs a transplant and you're not a match, you can donate your kidney to someone who IS a match and your friend/family member goes to the top of the donation list. So, basically, regardless of blood type you can still donate "to" your friend/family member if needed.

I would do it in a heartbeat if DH or DD needed one. Same for my mom and siblings, MIL/FIL and maybe a couple of others. Anyone else -- probably not.

[quince]

Definitely my kid. Probably my husband, although unlikely a match. Probably my mom. Not sure of anyone further out from me than that. I LIKE having two kidneys.

[CarolinaKat]

Oct 30, 2014 13:48:41 GMT -5 midjd said:

There's a program where if a close friend or family member needs a transplant and you're not a match, you can donate your kidney to someone who IS a match and your friend/family member goes to the top of the donation list. So, basically, regardless of blood type you can still donate "to" your friend/family member if needed.

I would do it in a heartbeat if DH or DD needed one. Same for my mom and siblings, MIL/FIL and maybe a couple of others. Anyone else -- probably not.

I wonder if this is what my Husband's aunt did. I am not really sure where the donor came from, but he was not family or friends of the family, but he was very motivated to donate and was a really sweet guy... 

[kittensaver]

I might consider it for *some* family members or a close personal friend. I have a substance abusing DB to whom I would not contribute - if he destroyed his first one, who's to say he would take care of the second one? 

[GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl]

My public service announcement for the day:  Keep an eye on your blood pressure.

Sometimes, it is a matter of "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" with blood pressure and kidney issues.  

So, if you don't want to donate one or don't want to ask for one, keep an eye on the old BP.  High blood pressure is silent, but can be deadly.  Seemingly otherwise healthy people could /be teetering on the edge of kidney failure or a stroke from high blood pressure and not even know it.  No bad habits necessary -- sometimes something as seemingly benign as ibuprofen or as unplanned as pregnancy-induced hypertension (a/k/a pre-eclampsia) can harm your kidneys and lead to high blood pressure and a vicious cycle begins.

Be good to your body.  It's the only one you get.  Unless you are lucky enough to find a donor.   

And, now back to your regularly scheduled programming already in progress.  

[TheHaitian]

As of now immediate family member only as in: parents, siblings and spouse (down the line kids).

But I am an organ donor so if I die it is a free for all

[weltschmerz]

Immediate family members or close friends? Sure.

I have two.

[mollyanna58]

So when I was reading your responses, the banner ad on top was for donating cars to the kidney foundation

[zibazinski]

Donate to my kids, yes. Donate to someone else while I'm still alive? No. Unless I got paid big bucks for it. 

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Nope ... not unless I was dead (and all my organs are up for grabs).

Then again, I have serious health issues and I need my kidneys.

[Formerly SK]

I don't think I'd donate to someone while my kids were minors because it my hurt my chances of being around to raise them to adulthood.  They both have special needs and I'm the best equipped to help them.  Once they are adults and independent (not an automatic with my son) I would consider it.

[shanendoah]

My best friend from childhood (as in we became best friends at age 2) developed kidney problems in 2nd grade. In college, she needed a transplant. Luckily, all three of her immediate family members (mom, dad, sister) were matches. But if they hadn't been, I would have offered to be tested, without a second thought.

There are definitely people in this world that I am not legally related to that I would donate a kidney to. People I'm legally related to, too.
And yes, for some of those, that would include signing up to be a donor for someone else in order to give my loved one a better chance of getting a kidney.

[milee]

Yes.

[raeoflyte]

Oct 30, 2014 15:51:15 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

I don't think I'd donate to someone while my kids were minors because it my hurt my chances of being around to raise them to adulthood.  

Once the kids are launched I think I would.  I don't have any health issues and I think I would always be haunted by the what if's if I didn't and my friend/family member died.  

[Deleted]

I have 3 kidneys (well, in our own way, each of us is a mutation). Not sure if they're each complete; two might share a lobe. (This was discovered when I was 11 so I wasn't given much detail.).

So, technically I have a spare but would need to learn more about the implications. If it were DS or a sibling, most likely I would.

[resolution]

It is really situational and would depend a lot on how well the person is taking care of themselves.

We ran into a similar issue with my dad and his older brother. His brother was around 75 years old and had open heart surgery several times. He had diabetes and high blood pressure but he didn't control his diet or exercise,  and he wouldn't stop drinking or smoking. When my uncle developed kidney disease, my dad was 70 and also had declining kidney function, but not nearly as bad as his brother since he had a healthy weight and didn't smoke or drink excessively. Dad's brothers and sisters put a lot of pressure on him to get tested and donate a kidney, even though they wouldn't themselves. Mom was adamantly opposed to it, she was worried that dad might need the kidney soon since his were not in the best of shape.

The long and short of it is he refused to donate a kidney and his brothers and sisters all stopped talking to him for several years. His older brother went on dialysis and lived until around 80, but never did anything to improve his diet or exercise. He died from another heart attack, so its unknown how the kidney played into it. However dad's kidneys are still doing ok and in retrospect he didn't prematurely need a second kidney.

Everyone is talking to each other again, but the whole situation was just bad all around.

[mollyanna58]

Dad's brothers and sisters put a lot of pressure on him to get tested and donate a kidney, even though they wouldn't themselves

[JustLurkin]

I would consider for close family or friends. I'm an organ donor and registered with the bone marrow bank.

[cktc]

I think this is one of those situations where I don't know what I'd do unless it was really a question. There are so many unknown factors that would effect my decision; prognosis, heredity, substance abuse, relationship, closeness, my own health, my own nuclear family, availability of other donors, etc...

I like to think I'd consider it, but the only person I'm certain I'd give one too with no reservations doesn't even exist yet, my future hypothetical child.

[Deleted]

I would definitely donate a kidney to one of my children if I were a match. My Mom, probably. If she took better care of herself, my answer would be more definite. My brother, my first thought is probably not. I don't know, I'd have to do some soul-searching on that one. I have a few family members and a friend I'd donate a kidney to, and 1 friend I'd at least seriously consider donating to.

While I like the idea that if you're not a match for someone you want to donate to, you can move them up the list by donating to someone else, I know I'd do that for my kids, probably my Mom...... the other people I mentioned, it would be a more difficult decision than if we were a match.

I like the idea of possibly helping someone else live by donating my organs when I die, but that's not written anywhere but here and nobody IRL knows that. I guess I need to make that known.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

So, if you don't want to donate one or don't want to ask for one, keep an eye on the old BP. High blood pressure is silent, but can be deadly. Seemingly otherwise healthy people could /be teetering on the edge of kidney failure or a stroke from high blood pressure and not even know it.

My dad has had hypertension since he was in his early 40s.  I have it, and my sister has it as well and both of us started creeping up about the same age that he was when he was finally diagnosed.

HOWEVER, it took the doctors a long time to hit on the combination of drugs that would work for him.....like nearly 10 years.  And during this time, it damaged his kidneys.  Fast forward 20 years and 25 years and my sister and I are looking at ways to control our BP.  It took about a year to hit on the right combination for me, and after trying about 4 different drugs, I talked to my dad about it and he told me the drugs that  I had been on were useless for him as well.  I went back to my doctor with the drugs that he was currently on and all we had to do was tweak the dose.  5 years later, my sister went through the same process but she already had the info from both me and my dad and she was able to get her blood pressure controlled in less than 6 months.

These days, it is very difficult not to know you have hypertension as there is information out everywhere.  So it's not the problem that people don't know that they have it, but to stumble upon the drug combination that works for you.  And it's my understanding that if you are black, the process becomes even more difficult.

So it's not just a matter of going to the doctor, getting diagnosed and getting a pill or two.  Trying to control this is really hit and miss and you just don't know.

[Shooby]

I would donate to my children. But in general no because I feel like my kids are still young and I think that it might be taking too much of a risk.

[mmhmm]

Yes, I would - for family (unless I had good reason not to do so), close friends, or a child in need. At my age, I'm doing darned well health-wise but don't have a long lifetime ahead of me or find my body trying to check out on me while I'm still in the prime of life.

[Tennesseer]

Oct 30, 2014 18:35:17 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

I would definitely donate a kidney to one of my children if I were a match.....

Using this post to bounce a thought, so this is not directed toward pinkcashmire.

Say your child needed a kidney and you were willing to donate one of yours but you were not a match. Say another monther's child needed a kidney and the child's mother was willing to donate hers but she too was not a match for her child.

Say the other mother was a match for your child and you were a match for the other mother's child.

Would you donate your kidney to the other child in exchange for the other mother's kidney for your child?

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2014 19:50:41 GMT -5 Tennesseer said:

Oct 30, 2014 18:35:17 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

I would definitely donate a kidney to one of my children if I were a match.....

Using this post to bounce a thought, so this is not directed toward pinkcashmire.

Say your child needed a kidney and you were willing to donate one of yours but you were not a match. Say another monther's child needed a kidney and the child's mother was willing to donate hers but she too was not a match for her child.

Say the other mother was a match for your child and you were a match for the other mother's child.

Would you donate your kidney to the other child in exchange for the other mother's kidney for your child?

This question wasn't specifically for me, but yes I would. I would donate even if the other mother wasn't a match for my child and all it did was improve my child's chances of getting a kidney sooner rather than later.