Just a vent

[chen35]

This doesn't really fit into one of the on-going threads, and I feel bad hi-jacking those anyway. 

I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, because of the reasons below (I'm a sucker for bulleted list):

*My job. It is super stressful. We've undergone MAJOR reorganization over the last twelve months. My responsibilities have increased exponentially. I manage 3 more people than I did a year ago (and I suck at/hate managing). I have one employee who just isn't cutting it, and one who is sulking because he didn't get a promotion he thought he deserved. I know I need to deal with both of these things, but I am so busy putting out fires every single minute, that it just doesn't get done. I'm not even sure how to fix it, because like I said, I suck at managing. I don't feel like I can quit until at least February, because that is when I get my bonus. That's not that far away, but I think the bigger problem is that if I quit I'll feel like I failed. I feel like I SHOULD be able to handle this. Also, I get paid well, and I don't want to take a step back there.

*Babies. DH and I have been trying to get pregnant for so long. I feel like odds are against us. I can't even get into the Dr. to discuss next steps until after the first of the month. I think IVF is our only choice, and it scares the crap out of me. It just sucks. 

*Step-kids. They are going through a lot right now, and I don't know how to help them. I also feel like me getting pregnant (if that were to happen) is extremely selfish considering what they are going through. They need our undivided attention right now. But I'm not getting any younger, so do I give up my dream of having kids? I just don't know. I feel like a selfish, evil step-mother. Also, I lost DS10 at Kohl's on Saturday. He was fine, but he burst into tears when he saw me and I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I also feel like because of my stressful, long hours job, I'm not able to be there for them as much as I should be. I have major guilt over this. I try to make it to all of their sporting events/school stuff, but I miss a lot. I feel horrible about it.

Most of the time I'm able to function, but today at work I feel on the verge of a panic attack. I'm listening to classical music just to try to calm myself down.

Anyway, sorry to vent, I just needed to get it all out.

[taz157]

((((Hugs))))

[chen35]

Also, I passed my final CPA exam in May, but I have yet to actually complete the ethics course and submit my application. I really need to do this before looking for a new job, but it's like I have some sort of mental block. I just don't want to think about it.

[raeoflyte]

Huge hugs!  

[Pants]

Ok, clhen, you will almost never hear me say this, but you may need to take a break from the fertility thing. As my fertility doctor said at every opportunity - IVF is stressful, be kind to yourself as much as possible and dont start any new projects at home or at work. Unfortunately, you can't divest yourself of the issues you have on your plate, and those are super overwhelming.


Also, tabling the IVF for a while - 6 months? would let you get some medication that may help you with your stress levels.

Regarding the job - how important is your bonus vs. your mental health? Can you afford to quit your job now? Or take a leave of absence due to family issues?

Hugs and hang in there - I know there's a lot going on. Take charge of what you can, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

[Waffle]

Classical music - BAH!

Not that I dislike classical music, but I think you need to listen to something upbeat - something you can imagine yourself dancing to.

I have no major answers for you - but for the short term is there anyway you can time off from work, even if it a just a long weekend?

[chen35]

I have thought about putting off the IVF. At the very least we would be putting it off until February of next year, so I guess that helps. I just hate not knowing what is going to happen. I'm a bit of a control freak. 

My bonus and stock options that vest are paying for the IVF, and paying for us finishing our basement. I feel like after that, financially, it will be fine for me to find something that pays less. I feel like my identity is hugely wrapped up in my job, so I need to come to terms with this.

We are filing our 10Q this week, so I am taking this Friday off and next Friday. That should be a good break. 

I've also started listening to meditation music before bed, listening to white noise on the way into work, and listening to the calming music. I do listen to my regular music after everyone leaves for the evening and I can blast it

I've been trying to get out with friends more in the evenings, and I think I'm going to start playing the piano again. I need to stop just vegging on the couch watching TV after work. It's relaxing at the time, but makes me feel worse when I haven't actually 'done' anything fun at the end of the day.

Thanks for the hugs, it makes me feel better to get it off my chest.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

If you want to feel better about the Kohl's thing ask Milee about the time she left her kid at swim practice. .. which was canceled.  It'll make you laugh. 

Everyone does something stupid/embarassing like that as a parent at least once. DH and I forgot Gwen when she was a month old.  We were out the door and walking down the sidewalk when we were like "Are we missing something?   Shit!"

[TheHaitian]

Not a female but here is my take:

- Job: just deal with the two employees already. The longer you wait, the more you worry about it. Just remove the bandage. And stick around till Feb, have a countdown on your cell phone... I do. As of now: 189 days before I can officially consider another job!

- Getting pregnant: taking a time out sounds Good. Enjoy the holidays, spend time with the kids, and get back at it in Feb like you said.

- step kids: just the fact that you are concerned about them and feel like shit means you are doing it right in my book. Kudos!

[startsmart]

sorry to hear you're so stressed! I don't have kids so can't chime in there but here's what helped me to stay productive when I felt like I was in a funk (in a bulleted list for you): 

• When you get home from work don't take off your shoes or if you do change to tennis shoes. This helps you stay in "work mode" a little longer. 
• Identify 2 priorities that evening that will help keep you from falling into the couch/relax mode right away. Not to say this is bad but I've found once I sit, it's hard to quit. Those priorities could be laundry, paying bills, running the vacuum, hugging a kid, going for a walk, really anything you want. 
• Maybe spend some time with the kids listening to their day, problems and questions while they do homework and you prepare dinner or file, or walk together. While we all love the idea of full attention parenting, the truth is some of the best conversations I remember with my mom were in the midst of other activities. I think because it took the pressure off and no direct eye pressure means I could be a little more honest. 
• Try journaling to get out some of your frustrations and when those thoughts/feelings well up again think "I already got that out of my system" and take a few deep breaths. Yeah, the pouting employee is annoying but if you can say to yourself "I talked to him about new opportunities for advancement and what I expect to see before the next review and that he can come to me for support; his attitude and grumbling is not my problem." then you can brush it off a little easier. (it is a "he" right? In my mind it's a he  )
• Every day commit to taking one small step towards solving those issues. That could mean a little bit of research each night on IVF or studying for your ethics course or updating your resume. You don't need to solve all of this at once and even though life is tossing it all your way this week you don't need to be overwhelmed. 

[Deleted]

I need to stop just vegging on the couch watching TV after work. It's relaxing at the time, but makes me feel worse when I haven't actually 'done' anything fun at the end of the day.

Me too. I say I want to do more fun stuff, but at the end of the day all I want to do is just sit down and relax. It feels great while I'm doing it, but then I get upset with myself for just sitting around the house so much. Not wanting to disappoint one of my friends when I've told them I'll go somewhere is often the only reason I'll to pry myself off the sofa and get out the house. I'm usually glad I did, afterwards.

I'm sorry you're feeling so ovewhelmed. I can't make it better for you, but here's another hug.

[Sam_2.0]

So sorry, clhen. Your kids are facing some rough stuff and no parent would feel ready to help them through that. I bet they know that you love them and would do absolutely anything for them. They are so lucky to have you and I bet the love and adore you as well (even if they don't let on around you).

Giant hugs.

[taz157]

Oct 20, 2014 20:46:51 GMT -5 Sam_2.0 said:

So sorry, clhen. Your kids are facing some rough stuff and no parent would feel ready to help them through that. I bet they know that you love them and would do absolutely anything for them. They are so lucky to have you and I bet the love and adore you as well (even if they don't let on around you).

Giant hugs.

[shanendoah]

You are required to take, by law, two fifteen minute paid breaks for every 4 hours you work. TAKE THEM. Go on a walk, 2x/day, for 10-15 minutes. In my experience, that was the number one thing to cut my stress. I got up from my desk, away from my computer. I did not walk with other people, because my goal wasn't to be social. I simply got up and walked. I did my best to think only about the walk- the flowers, the leaves, the puddles (I had a poncho I kept at work so that I still walked even on the rainiest days).

Also, take your lunch. Not sit at your desk and try to catch up. Take your lunch break. Go eat in your car and listen to music if you have no where else to go (and in winter, you might not), but get away from your desk.


As for the employees, talk to HR now. I'll bet you have an HR Consultant/Business Partner, someone designated by HR to help your department with issues. Schedule a meeting with them to talk about staff issues. Find out what you need to do to deal with your problem children. Ask if they offer professional development or management training classes and see if you can get in one. (I happen to be one of those people who really likes being a manager, but I know it's not for everyone.)


I can offer no advice about IVF. However, taking a short break from TRYING to get pregnant may be what you need emotionally right now. 

As for the step-kids, take a deep breath for yourself, then give them each an extra hug in the morning, just because.
I was a step-child, so I have an idea of how hard it can be to be a step-parent. I don't know all the issues your step-kids are going through, but the fact that you even consider putting your dreams on hold to be more present for them means you are, in fact, doing it right.
But no matter their issues, what they are in the middle of, everyone wants something happy to think about. So as you get closer to trying IVF, talk to your DH, and then talk to the step-kids about you guys trying to add to the family. You don't need to explain the medical situation, just talk to them about wanting to give them a little brother or sister. My bet is they'll be pretty excited about it. It will give them a bright spot to hold on to.

The one thing we talk about A LOT in our family is the miracle of love, of how it is not possible for love to get smaller, it can only get bigger. If you want to use a pie analogy, we say every new person who comes into our lives brings a brand new pie of love, so everyone is actually getting MORE pie/love. 

[chen35]

Okay, I'm feeling a bit better today, so to answer some questions:

 
Is he promatable? If so, can you delegate some of your new responsibilities to him? No, he's really not. He's having a hard time performing at the level he is at. I have had several frank discussions with him about this. The problem is, with our company reorganization, he was the only one trained on some of our new responsibilities. Until he trains one of his staff (which I've given him until the end of the year to do), I'm stuck with him.

Ask if they offer professional development or management training classes and see if you can get in one. (I happen to be one of those people who really likes being a manager, but I know it's not for everyone.) This is a really good idea. I was actually signed up for a course in August, but then we ended up driving the kids to Seattle at the last minute, and I missed it. I need to look for another.


Don't stress the kohls MIA thing... this just turns into a funny story later on for you DS. Yeah, he's already telling everyone about it and laughing at me. I'll never live it down. 

startsmart - Those are all good ideas. I like the idea of baby steps on everything I am doing.

You don't need to explain the medical situation, just talk to them about wanting to give them a little brother or sister. My bet is they'll be pretty excited about it. It will give them a bright spot to hold on to. They are great kids, they probably would be excited. I just worry about the IVF not working, then having to explain that...

[chen35]

End of the year because it's complicated stuff, and I want the person trained to be fully trained, not have to jump in and clean up messes.
I am having regular meetings with the person being trained to make sure it's happening.

[bean29]

Oct 20, 2014 11:32:43 GMT -5 chen35 said:

This doesn't really fit into one of the on-going threads, and I feel bad hi-jacking those anyway. 

I feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown, because of the reasons below (I'm a sucker for bulleted list):

*My job. It is super stressful. We've undergone MAJOR reorganization over the last twelve months. My responsibilities have increased exponentially. I manage 3 more people than I did a year ago (and I suck at/hate managing). I have one employee who just isn't cutting it, and one who is sulking because he didn't get a promotion he thought he deserved. I know I need to deal with both of these things, but I am so busy putting out fires every single minute, that it just doesn't get done. I'm not even sure how to fix it, because like I said, I suck at managing. I don't feel like I can quit until at least February, because that is when I get my bonus. That's not that far away, but I think the bigger problem is that if I quit I'll feel like I failed. I feel like I SHOULD be able to handle this. Also, I get paid well, and I don't want to take a step back there.

*Babies. DH and I have been trying to get pregnant for so long. I feel like odds are against us. I can't even get into the Dr. to discuss next steps until after the first of the month. I think IVF is our only choice, and it scares the crap out of me. It just sucks. 

*Step-kids. They are going through a lot right now, and I don't know how to help them. I also feel like me getting pregnant (if that were to happen) is extremely selfish considering what they are going through. They need our undivided attention right now. But I'm not getting any younger, so do I give up my dream of having kids? I just don't know. I feel like a selfish, evil step-mother. Also, I lost DS10 at Kohl's on Saturday. He was fine, but he burst into tears when he saw me and I felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. I also feel like because of my stressful, long hours job, I'm not able to be there for them as much as I should be. I have major guilt over this. I try to make it to all of their sporting events/school stuff, but I miss a lot. I feel horrible about it.

Most of the time I'm able to function, but today at work I feel on the verge of a panic attack. I'm listening to classical music just to try to calm myself down.

Anyway, sorry to vent, I just needed to get it all out.

I hope things get better for you.  I would try to reduce workload/retrain worker not up to par (as per Sroo's suggestons), or get rid of that worker and hire a replacement and then concentrate on getting pg. 

On losing your kid in Kohls.  Mine are 17 and 21.  It happens.  Lost DD in Target once and DS admits now that one time when he was "lost" he was hiding in the center of a round of clothing, watching me look for him.  You would think he is an evil brat, but he was always my "Angel Child".

[Wisconsin Beth]

Just hugs.  Lots of hugs. 

[chen35]

shanendoah - The kids' younger brother (their mom and step dad's child) is dying from leukemia. He's had it for 3+ years (he's almost 5), and they are out of treatment options. This week they are celebrating all of their holidays, because he won't be around. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how, as a parent, you deal with that. The kids seem fine now, but I don't know that they really understand how it's going to be when he's gone. They know he's going to die, and soon, but knowing something will happen and having it actually happen are different, I think.

[muttleynfelix]

[taz157]

(((((Hugs)))))

[Angel!]

Oct 21, 2014 10:25:43 GMT -5 chen35 said:

shanendoah - The kids' younger brother (their mom and step dad's child) is dying from leukemia. He's had it for 3+ years (he's almost 5), and they are out of treatment options. This week they are celebrating all of their holidays, because he won't be around. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how, as a parent, you deal with that. The kids seem fine now, but I don't know that they really understand how it's going to be when he's gone. They know he's going to die, and soon, but knowing something will happen and having it actually happen are different, I think.

OMG, that is so sad. I don't have much experience in that (death), but I would say give your stepson opportunities to talk about it. A lot of kids want to talk about things, but don't know how to bring it up, so they just internalize it.  I learned this when I discovered DD was talking about her dad EVERYDAY at school, but never would bring him up at home.  She was so sad, but I had no idea.  So now I sometimes bring him up in a way to allow the kids to share how they feel and let them know that it is ok to feel that way.  A lot of times when they cry about missing him, then I will cry too & I think it makes them feel better because they realize they aren't alone in their sadness.  We aren't really crying for the same reasons, but they don't know that.

I didn't lose DD or forget her.  But, she was being a cranky girl this morning & kept crying about everything.  We were at DS1's school & she wouldn't get off the bench & kept crying, so I told her I was going to say by to DS1 alone & she could wait there.  She was totally fine & I was maybe 50 feet away.  But, I discovered when you leave a crying child alone, you will come back to find a lot of concerned parents standing around her asking if she was lost   And I felt like mom of the year.

[shanendoah]

Oct 21, 2014 10:25:43 GMT -5 chen35 said:

shanendoah - The kids' younger brother (their mom and step dad's child) is dying from leukemia. He's had it for 3+ years (he's almost 5), and they are out of treatment options. This week they are celebrating all of their holidays, because he won't be around. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how, as a parent, you deal with that. The kids seem fine now, but I don't know that they really understand how it's going to be when he's gone. They know he's going to die, and soon, but knowing something will happen and having it actually happen are different, I think.

I am so sorry for your family's loss. And let me be clear, no matter your relationship with their mom and step-dad, this is most definitely a loss for YOUR family, including you. And I am going to posit that this may be one of the things driving your stress levels so high right now. You are so busy focusing on the kids and trying to help them through this (or preparing for helping them through the loss when it happens), that you have not taken a moment to realize that this, rightly, has an impact on you as well. You are putting your own emotions in the background to help you family. And it's getting to a breaking point.

Please, please, please contact your doctor and ask for a referral to a counselor who specializes in fertility issues. You are dealing with all the feelings and emotions you have about the possibility of not being able to have a biological child while at the same time trying to help your family through the loss of a child already in their lives. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. This is powerful, difficult, emotionally charged stuff. And you should not have to go through it alone. You should not expect yourself to go through it alone, or even to be the one that holds it all together for someone else. 
Get yourself a counselor. Get yourself a safe place where you can have that emotional breakdown you feel like your headed toward, with someone who can then help you walk out the other side.

It's not selfish to take some time to focus on yourself. Because honestly, taking that time will help you help everyone else better.

*hugs*

[chen35]

Oct 21, 2014 12:00:16 GMT -5 Angel! said:

Oct 21, 2014 10:25:43 GMT -5 chen35 said:

shanendoah - The kids' younger brother (their mom and step dad's child) is dying from leukemia. He's had it for 3+ years (he's almost 5), and they are out of treatment options. This week they are celebrating all of their holidays, because he won't be around. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how, as a parent, you deal with that. The kids seem fine now, but I don't know that they really understand how it's going to be when he's gone. They know he's going to die, and soon, but knowing something will happen and having it actually happen are different, I think.

OMG, that is so sad. I don't have much experience in that (death), but I would say give your stepson opportunities to talk about it. A lot of kids want to talk about things, but don't know how to bring it up, so they just internalize it.  I learned this when I discovered DD was talking about her dad EVERYDAY at school, but never would bring him up at home.  She was so sad, but I had no idea.  So now I sometimes bring him up in a way to allow the kids to share how they feel and let them know that it is ok to feel that way.  A lot of times when they cry about missing him, then I will cry too & I think it makes them feel better because they realize they aren't alone in their sadness.  We aren't really crying for the same reasons, but they don't know that.

I didn't lose DD or forget her.  But, she was being a cranky girl this morning & kept crying about everything.  We were at DS1's school & she wouldn't get off the bench & kept crying, so I told her I was going to say by to DS1 alone & she could wait there.  She was totally fine & I was maybe 50 feet away.  But, I discovered when you leave a crying child alone, you will come back to find a lot of concerned parents standing around her asking if she was lost   And I felt like mom of the year.

I try to ask them open ended questions to get them to talk. Sometimes it works better than others, and usually it works better with the younger kids, who I'm not sure fully understand what is happening. DS14 is the one I worry about the most, and he won't talk about it, period.

Ha! Did the other parents say anything to you?

[chen35]

Oct 21, 2014 12:02:04 GMT -5 shanendoah said:

Oct 21, 2014 10:25:43 GMT -5 chen35 said:

shanendoah - The kids' younger brother (their mom and step dad's child) is dying from leukemia. He's had it for 3+ years (he's almost 5), and they are out of treatment options. This week they are celebrating all of their holidays, because he won't be around. It's heartbreaking. I don't know how, as a parent, you deal with that. The kids seem fine now, but I don't know that they really understand how it's going to be when he's gone. They know he's going to die, and soon, but knowing something will happen and having it actually happen are different, I think.

I am so sorry for your family's loss. And let me be clear, no matter your relationship with their mom and step-dad, this is most definitely a loss for YOUR family, including you. And I am going to posit that this may be one of the things driving your stress levels so high right now. You are so busy focusing on the kids and trying to help them through this (or preparing for helping them through the loss when it happens), that you have not taken a moment to realize that this, rightly, has an impact on you as well. You are putting your own emotions in the background to help you family. And it's getting to a breaking point.

Please, please, please contact your doctor and ask for a referral to a counselor who specializes in fertility issues. You are dealing with all the feelings and emotions you have about the possibility of not being able to have a biological child while at the same time trying to help your family through the loss of a child already in their lives. THIS IS A BIG DEAL. This is powerful, difficult, emotionally charged stuff. And you should not have to go through it alone. You should not expect yourself to go through it alone, or even to be the one that holds it all together for someone else. 
Get yourself a counselor. Get yourself a safe place where you can have that emotional breakdown you feel like your headed toward, with someone who can then help you walk out the other side.

It's not selfish to take some time to focus on yourself. Because honestly, taking that time will help you help everyone else better.

*hugs*

shanendoah, thank you! This brought tears to my eyes. It has been really difficult. Then I feel stupid, because he's not my kid, and I should just be worried about DHs kids and how they are handling it. But the whole thing just hits too close to home, and I feel genuinely upset about it. It's just not right that things like this happen. I feel selfish for feeling that way, because who am I to feel bad about it when his parents are going through this?

I need to get back to counseling. I have found it helpful in the past.

Again, thank you.

[Angel!]

Oct 21, 2014 15:22:03 GMT -5 chen35 said:

Oct 21, 2014 12:00:16 GMT -5 Angel! said:

OMG, that is so sad. I don't have much experience in that (death), but I would say give your stepson opportunities to talk about it. A lot of kids want to talk about things, but don't know how to bring it up, so they just internalize it.  I learned this when I discovered DD was talking about her dad EVERYDAY at school, but never would bring him up at home.  She was so sad, but I had no idea.  So now I sometimes bring him up in a way to allow the kids to share how they feel and let them know that it is ok to feel that way.  A lot of times when they cry about missing him, then I will cry too & I think it makes them feel better because they realize they aren't alone in their sadness.  We aren't really crying for the same reasons, but they don't know that.

I didn't lose DD or forget her.  But, she was being a cranky girl this morning & kept crying about everything.  We were at DS1's school & she wouldn't get off the bench & kept crying, so I told her I was going to say by to DS1 alone & she could wait there.  She was totally fine & I was maybe 50 feet away.  But, I discovered when you leave a crying child alone, you will come back to find a lot of concerned parents standing around her asking if she was lost   And I felt like mom of the year.

I try to ask them open ended questions to get them to talk. Sometimes it works better than others, and usually it works better with the younger kids, who I'm not sure fully understand what is happening. DS14 is the one I worry about the most, and he won't talk about it, period.

Ha! Did the other parents say anything to you?

No, they didn't really say anything, just "oh, here's your mom".  I felt like crap though because I'm sure they didn't realize she was crying before I ever walked off, not because I walked off.  So I'm sure they were wondering what kind of mom leaves their kid alone & scared so they end up crying.

ETA - that has to be really hard on a 14 year old.  There probably is a part of you that feels forgotten in the background.  I am guessing everything in the family has probably focused on the sick child since they were diagnosed.  I would think it would be good to get a counselor for that age.

[Angel!]

Also, you have a lot going on....you need to give yourself permission to just relax sometimes.  You don't have to feel ok sitting on the couch doing nothing every night. But, give yourself 1-3 nights/week where you are going to sit & do nothing & know that it is ok. Stressing about what you aren't doing during that time will only make you feel worse, not relaxed.

[Deleted]

It has been really difficult. Then I feel stupid, because he's not my kid, and I should just be worried about DHs kids and how they are handling it. But the whole thing just hits too close to home, and I feel genuinely upset about it. It's just not right that things like this happen. I feel selfish for feeling that way, because who am I to feel bad about it when his parents are going through this?

It's certainly understandable that you would be upset about him, he's a little kid and he's a part of your life, even if it's indirectly and a small part. Even though he's not your kid, he's your stepkids' brother. Having compassion is never stupid or selfish.

As far as leaving kids in stores, I left my ~12yo son in JCPenny once, on purpose. He had a habit of wandering away without telling me where he was going and I'd been fussing at him about it for years. That day, I'd spent about 20 minutes looking for him and waiting for him to show up, and I was fed up, so I left him. I went a couple stores down the strip, but I moved my car so he would know I'd left him. I was only gone about 15 minutes and he was just inside the front entrance, almost frantic, when I came back. Yep, he'd looked in the parking lot for my car.

That was the last time he just wandered off in a store.

[Sam_2.0]

Oct 21, 2014 15:56:35 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

It has been really difficult. Then I feel stupid, because he's not my kid, and I should just be worried about DHs kids and how they are handling it. But the whole thing just hits too close to home, and I feel genuinely upset about it. It's just not right that things like this happen. I feel selfish for feeling that way, because who am I to feel bad about it when his parents are going through this?

It's certainly understandable that you would be upset about him, he's a little kid and he's a part of your life, even if it's indirectly and a small part. Even though he's not your kid, he's your stepkids' brother. Having compassion is never stupid or selfish.

As far as leaving kids in stores, I left my ~12yo son in JCPenny once, on purpose. He had a habit of wandering away without telling me where he was going and I'd been fussing at him about it for years. That day, I'd spent about 20 minutes looking for him and waiting for him to show up, and I was fed up, so I left him. I went a couple stores down the strip, but I moved my car so he would know I'd left him. I was only gone about 15 minutes and he was just inside the front entrance, almost frantic, when I came back. Yep, he'd looked in the parking lot for my car.

That was the last time he just wandered off in a store.

My mom did that to my sister and I at Walmart. She left to take the groceries home. We only lived 5 mins away and I think we were 12 and 14. We found someone we knew and got a ride home, but we didnt do that again.

[Angel!]

I hid from DS at the park once. He kept riding way too far away to where he couldn't even hear me if I was yelling for him.  So finally I just hid & watched him freak out when he turned back & couldn't see us. He has been much better about it since.