Would you let your kids read this board?

[Firebird]

Specifically, would you be okay with your kids potentially reading every post you've written on here - about them, about your spouse?  Do you think they would be okay with everything you've shared about your/their personal life? 

More generally, would you be okay with (or ARE you okay with, if your kids are old enough) them seeing ALL of your social media posts?  Facebook, Twitter, message boards, blogs, and so forth? 

We're facing an issue our parents never had - our kids can, with varying degrees of effort, find out exactly what we've chosen to share with the world and when.  It's very difficult to eliminate every trace of yourself from the Internet if you're as prolific as most of us are - and personally, I wouldn't want to do that anyway.  Some of the stuff I've posted is very personal, but obviously I'm okay with putting it out there because... I put it out there.

Would I want Babybird to read it all?  Theoretically, yeah.  I'm not ashamed of anything I've posted.  But there are certain things I wouldn't want her to necessarily read out of context, or without being able to discuss them with her. 

Curious how others feel about this issue. 

[lynnerself]

No, to any board that I am using a pseudonym on.
Heck, I don't really want my DH to read this board. He would think I am way over sharing.

[Firebird]

Heck, I don't really want my DH to read this board. He would think I am way over sharing.

Personally, if I knew my spouse would be uncomfortable with what I was writing about him/our life, I wouldn't do it.  There's a reason I don't post about DH much and the stuff I do is 99.9% positive.  I've deleted posts before that I felt got too far into "our personal life/relationship" territory.

When I post a thread like the one I did yesterday, I tell him about it.  He's welcome to read it.  He's never expressed an interest, he's just not into social media.  If he had an online community like this and gave me permission to follow/read his posts, damn skippy I'd take him up on it.  I'm nosy like that.  He's not.

Kids are a little different but I do also feel strongly about not posting things that would probably embarrass Babybird when she gets older.  Naturally, depending on how strong her sense of privacy is, that could be practically anything, including the fact that I've shared photos of her (and that is something I do think about) - but I do stay away from things like potty stories. 

[ArchietheDragon]

my kids like doing the smilies on the board..  Does that count\?

[shanendoah]

Would I want Pop Tart to read this today? No. Certainly not. It's a place I can come to deal with some of my frustrations, some frustrations that include her.
So no, she's not emotionally capable of understanding everything I post here. 
However, some day in the future, when she's an adult, maybe has a kid or two herself, I'd probably be okay with it.

C knows roughly what I share here. I talk about it. I would have no problems with him reading every post I've put here. Because even if I'm complaining about him, I've probably already said it to him.

[Wisconsin Beth]

The only real online presence I have is here.  I don't do Facebook, Twitter, etc.  Would I want my kids to read this board, not sure.  They're young. 

[midjd]

I wouldn't care if DD read my posts about her... it would show her how much I love her, to have not left her in a Moses basket outside a firehouse after 10+ months of not sleeping more than 2-3 hours at a time. 

DH knows I post here and has read some of my posts. I don't care, I don't think I've posted anything negative about him, at least not anything I haven't said/wouldn't say to his face 

Now, I would be fucked if my parents or siblings found this board. 

[lynnerself]

DH is not into Social media at all and more private than I am. I do not post personal relationship stuff.
But he probably would be uncomfortable with my posting financial things like our retirement plans and net worth, even in an anonymous forum.
He really doesn't get the idea of on line community at all.

[Deleted]

My kids have seen me on this message board (and looked over my shoulder) enough to know how to find it. I'm ok with that. I've posted about issues I've had with them, but I don't think I've said anything they'd be shocked to read. Most importantly, even when they've made me very upset, if I talked about it, I hope my posts were still flavored with the love and concern I have for them.

I don't talk about it a whole lot here, but I don't think my kids would be ready to read some of my personal views on sex and relationships. I'm kind of jaded (I'm not sure that's the exact word I'm looking for) on the subject, and I don't want want to influence them with that, so I don't really express it to them. Besides, they're still young enough that they don't really want to think of their Mom as a woman anyway, I'm suppose to just be Mom. 

I don't do facebook, twitter, or any of that. This is the only place I talk about my personal life online.

[chen35]

I wouldn't want people I know to read these boards. Not because I've said anything bad, but because I'm extremely private and it would feel like spying to me. Which is stupid, because this is a public message board.

I have step-kids, and I do try to not post anything about them or their situation that would make their mother uncomfortable, because I would want that same courtesy given to me if the situations were reversed.

[Miss Tequila]

I don't think I post anything on here that I don't say in real life. I rarely talk about my husband or kids (my mom is another story )

I don't share financial information in real life (outside of husband and kids) so I wouldn't want people I know in real life to read what I wrote.  I'm doing much better than most of my friends and family and they have no idea how much better I'm doing.  I prefer to keep it that way

[NoNamePerson]

Wouldn't matter. I just make up sh## as I go  

[Firebird]

Oct 17, 2014 14:48:40 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

I'm going to have say yes, since mine do read the board from time to time.  Where do you think I'm going to send them with college financial aid questions and whatnot?

That's actually what got me thinking about this.  I thought it would be kind of cool if we had our kids on here to post their financial questions.

YM:  The Next Generation. 

[Firebird]

Was kind of weird since neither of us have ever done anything like that and we've been here for years.

Wouldn't you and Loop both having accounts cause the same problem?  Couldn't you explain to the mods that it's a separate person and have them understand? 

[Deleted]

Oct 17, 2014 14:22:11 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

I don't share financial information in real life (outside of husband and kids) so I wouldn't want people I know in real life to read what I wrote.  I'm doing much better than most of my friends and family and they have no idea how much better I'm doing.  I prefer to keep it that way

Same here; I did tell one trusted friend what DH and I had in investments and she threw back her head and laughed.  Great reaction.  (I suspect that it was because we just don't look rich.)  For the most part, though, I don't want people to think we have money, let alone a $2 million umbrella policy- they'd just run in front of my car and try to get injured.  

DS, my only child, is 29.  He's not on FB but DDIL is.  I occasionally post a cute picture from when he was little, but no bathtub or potty-training pictures.  I also refer to him only by his first initial; the people really close to me know his full name.  (We have different last names.)  Rules will be similar for their baby daughter and any subsequent kids.  Leave names out, no stories or pictures that would embarrass them at age 15.  DS and DDIL also know how much we have, and how my trust is written.  DS has said something about cutting the brake lines on my car.  I think he's joking!

I sometimes tell DH what I'm posting and in general what interesting discussions I read.    His brother is married to a woman who closes down FB when he gets near.  I've seen her posts.  They're all reposts of oooey-gooey recipes, cute kitty and puppy videos and "Post this picture of a rose if you have a daughter you love with all your heart".  Absolutely nothing that would be a concern to him.  Weird.

[alabamagal]

I don't want my spouse or kids to read this board.  I like being anonymous.  But I think that if they read my posts they could figure out that it is me posting.  I generally do post good things about them, maybe some of their struggles. I just don't think there are than many people in GA with a DD23, DS22 and DS20, (not many people crazy enough to have 3 kids that close).

[Peace Of Mind]

My DH knows about you all and I've shown him threads/posts that were hilarious or informative.  He has no interest in posting on message boards.  Some of my RL friends know about you abut I'd rather they find their own hang out so I can talk about them now and then when they irritate me or do something tacky.   I'm sure I already pointed out their tackiness and made fun of them but they may not appreciate that I told you all.   

He also will help me pick out my avatars.  He's a boob man as you can tell.  

[Deleted]

I don't have some kids until now but I'm gonna let me read it ;D

[Formerly SK]

I had a mommy blog for about 5 years.  I loved having it but swore I'd stop when their friends were old enough to potentially read the blog.  It's one thing to share a funny toddler story as they're pretty universal.  As kids get older, though, their stories are more personal and I didn't think it was appropriate to put them online anymore.  I ended the blog maybe two years ago.

Ironically, now that DD has transitioned to DS people keep telling me I should start blogging again.  We are going through a rather unique situation and sharing our story could be helpful to others.  I still feel very hesitant to do so though as even if I tried to do it anonymously, I really worry someone would figure us out and it would end up badly for DS. 

I've tried not to post too much personal info here about my family.  I post about myself, but I probably wouldn't want my kids to read it until they are adults themselves.  Some subjects are too mature for them at this time.

[geenamercile]

At some point in time sure.  Most likely I will send them this way on my own.  However at 3 and 8 we will wait a few years. 

[NoNamePerson]

I guess if my son stumbled across the board he would know which one was me by the mere fact that I don't refer to him as DS. I relate DS as dipstick and/or dumb sh##. I'm getting better though with years and try to read Dear Son in the post.    

[steff]

I get enough shit from kiddo on my Twitter account and hubby on my FB account.  To top it off, they BOTH joined my Nascar group too.   this is my sanctuary.  I don't really need them correcting me or reminding me that I'm crazy here too.  there isn't much I say here that I haven't said directly to them.  I just don't need more peanut gallery input from them than I already get.

[teen persuasion]

DD1 has briefly joined to post something, probably over five years ago, old boards obviously.  DH has no interest in this place - he's got FB and his FireWire, and a bunch of friends he plays online games with.  We mention anecdotes from our "imaginary friends", but never look at each other's devices.

The kids are more likely to possibly be interested, but still not really likely to join or even lurk, but I wouldn't have a problem with it.  They all do FB (except for the 9yo), and a variety of others: Twitter and snapchat (losing interest), reddit, pinterest.  DD3 and I follow each other's pinterest feeds - always interesting seeing LARP costumes she pins.

I don't do FB personally (I do the work account, though), or Twitter, etc.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Oct 17, 2014 17:10:26 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Ironically, now that DD has transitioned to DS people keep telling me I should start blogging again.  We are going through a rather unique situation and sharing our story could be helpful to others.  I still feel very hesitant to do so though as even if I tried to do it anonymously, I really worry someone would figure us out and it would end up badly for DS. 

While I can't completely understand, I believe I would also feel hesitant to share that journey with masses while it is happening. What if you wrote it now and published when your children are older?

Hugs; I'm sure it's not a situation you anticipated.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

I don't keep anything from DH, and he has been known to skim through this board and another one that is completely private.
I don't think I'd mind my kids reading this one, but the other one is a "mommy" board. We've been "hanging out" for ten years. I'm not sure that would be good for our kids to read.

[Deleted]

DH and I met in an AOL chat room so he wouldn't care about most of it.  In fact, he said he wished he could also find an online community to hang out in.  He's not interested in money, though.

My son figured me on the old board because of something I posted about AmSouth that he recognized.  No big deal.  I don't know if the personal stuff would bother my daughter so much as being public as being "wrong."  I forget sometimes that being always right is one of her signature characteristics.  She inherited it from her father.

[tloonya]

Oct 17, 2014 12:54:12 GMT -5 lynnerself said:

No, to any board that I am using a pseudonym on.
Heck, I don't really want my DH to read this board. He would think I am way over sharing.

Over sharing? I don't know who you are

[tloonya]

My daughter used to say you people are mean.  When she was 15 or so.
Now she is laughing her arz off

[truthbound]

Oct 17, 2014 12:36:24 GMT -5 Firebird said:

Specifically, would you be okay with your kids potentially reading every post you've written on here - about them, about your spouse?  Do you think they would be okay with everything you've shared about your/their personal life? 

More generally, would you be okay with (or ARE you okay with, if your kids are old enough) them seeing ALL of your social media posts?  Facebook, Twitter, message boards, blogs, and so forth? 

We're facing an issue our parents never had - our kids can, with varying degrees of effort, find out exactly what we've chosen to share with the world and when.  It's very difficult to eliminate every trace of yourself from the Internet if you're as prolific as most of us are - and personally, I wouldn't want to do that anyway.  Some of the stuff I've posted is very personal, but obviously I'm okay with putting it out there because... I put it out there.

Would I want Babybird to read it all?  Theoretically, yeah.  I'm not ashamed of anything I've posted.  But there are certain things I wouldn't want her to necessarily read out of context, or without being able to discuss them with her. 

Curious how others feel about this issue. 

This is the problem with our current progressive hides behind a username pansy generation. There is no issue our parents never had. Anything I said online would be no different than anything I would say to them in person.

With that said the real question is whether I would expose them to any of the anonymous internets board posters. The answer is no.

[Firebird]

This is the problem with our current progressive hides behind a username pansy generation. There is no issue our parents never had. Anything I said online would be no different than anything I would say to them in person.

I would absolutely say it's a problem our parents never had.  And it's not necessarily about talking trash and hiding behind a username.  I try to avoid saying things on here that I wouldn't be willing to say to people IRL but that doesn't mean every single word is shared with the person in question verbatim. 

It's important to have outlets where you can speak freely and anonymously.  In that sense, the internet is a truly amazing resource.  But it does raise the risk of people finding you and reading words they were never meant to read.  Yeah, they could always locate your diary or whatever but reading someone's private thoughts and words is a little different than reading something they specifically chose to share with other people - just not you.