Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 10, 2014 14:45:57 GMT -5
Also I just made myself cry. I hate being pregnant. It's not the pregnancy, necessarily. I have a tendency to tear up when reading this type of thread and I'm sure not preggers! It's your previous pregnancies. They stick around and make you squishy emotionally.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Oct 10, 2014 14:48:42 GMT -5
... There isn't anything on my 'year out' horizon I absolutely need to be there for ... I remember thinking I was glad I survived my heart attack because of the third installment of The Lord of the Rings having not been released. I wouldn't be really concerned about the third of The Hobbit.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Oct 10, 2014 14:55:57 GMT -5
What do you all think of as the "end" of life? I think alot of times it's thought of as just the final couple of weeks... That last 6 to 8 months that I've seen caner patients go thru (especially if they've been dealing with treatments/etc for several years or longer) don't have alot of 'quality' they don't seem to feel well enough to much of anything.
I'm also witnessing people with cancer who get 'cured' for a short time and then are back to dealing with it. Or they are 'cured' of cancer but all the medications they need to take to stay 'cured' makes them ill in different ways.
I guess it depends on what you consider living a 'quality' life... I don't think the stage were all I can do is watch TV, chat for a bit with who ever is visiting, and waiting for the next round of drugs has alot of quality to it. but then that's just me.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Oct 10, 2014 14:56:32 GMT -5
Stage 4 with only a couple of months either way. I would choose quality.
My dad had stage 4 Esophagus cancer that metastasized to his heart . He did one treatment and got deathly sick from it. He did it because he thought my mom and I would want him to. I told him if they could cure him yes, but to be deathly ill just to die didn't make any sense to me. He quit after the first treatment. I'm glad he did. The last month was the hardest... He was ready to go but his body wasn't. He would always ask the hospice nurse if they could just give him some extra drugs and just let him go already. It would break my heart.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Oct 10, 2014 14:58:06 GMT -5
... There isn't anything on my 'year out' horizon I absolutely need to be there for ... I remember thinking I was glad I survived my heart attack because of the third installment of The Lord of the Rings having not been released. I wouldn't be really concerned about the third of The Hobbit. Everyone has their standards.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 10, 2014 15:07:50 GMT -5
It's not the pregnancy, necessarily. I have a tendency to tear up when reading this type of thread and I'm sure not preggers! It's your previous pregnancies. They stick around and make you squishy emotionally. Eeeewww! If those things are sticking around, I sure hope they don't take it upon themselves to produce any more babies!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 10, 2014 15:09:40 GMT -5
Stage 4 with only a couple of months either way. I would choose quality. My dad had stage 4 Esophagus cancer that metastasized to his heart . He did one treatment and got deathly sick from it. He did it because he thought my mom and I would want him to. I told him if they could cure him yes, but to be deathly ill just to die didn't make any sense to me. He quit after the first treatment. I'm glad he did. The last month was the hardest... He was ready to go but his body wasn't. He would always ask the hospice nurse if they could just give him some extra drugs and just let him go already. It would break my heart. I understand, jeep. It's so very painful, and in so many ways. I'm so sorry for your loss.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 10, 2014 15:24:34 GMT -5
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Pants
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Post by Pants on Oct 10, 2014 15:25:55 GMT -5
It's your previous pregnancies. They stick around and make you squishy emotionally. Eeeewww! If those things are sticking around, I sure hope they don't take it upon themselves to produce any more babies! I'm pretty sure they only stick around in your feelings.
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jeep108
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Post by jeep108 on Oct 10, 2014 15:45:44 GMT -5
Stage 4 with only a couple of months either way. I would choose quality. My dad had stage 4 Esophagus cancer that metastasized to his heart . He did one treatment and got deathly sick from it. He did it because he thought my mom and I would want him to. I told him if they could cure him yes, but to be deathly ill just to die didn't make any sense to me. He quit after the first treatment. I'm glad he did. The last month was the hardest... He was ready to go but his body wasn't. He would always ask the hospice nurse if they could just give him some extra drugs and just let him go already. It would break my heart. I understand, jeep. It's so very painful, and in so many ways. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you too.
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wvugurl26
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Post by wvugurl26 on Oct 10, 2014 15:46:08 GMT -5
My answer would be different if it wasn't stage 4. There's no cure for that. There's no cure for the 3b my grandpa had. Cancer sucks!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 10, 2014 15:55:01 GMT -5
Yes it does. Damn.
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Blonde Granny
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Post by Blonde Granny on Oct 10, 2014 15:59:42 GMT -5
I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer 21 years ago and underwent the 4 chemo treatments from hell. If faced with the option of chemo again to gain an extra couple of months, I'd run as fast as I could to not go through it again.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Oct 10, 2014 16:01:41 GMT -5
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 10, 2014 16:15:27 GMT -5
I understand, jeep. It's so very painful, and in so many ways. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs to you too. Thanks, hon. Over time, we all share these difficult journeys in one way or another. As hard as it is, it's from these very journeys we learn empathy.
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milee
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Post by milee on Oct 10, 2014 17:44:19 GMT -5
He's in his late 70s and has lived a very good life. He is surrounded by family and lots of friends, so has good support no matter what he chooses.
His mother also died of lung cancer. She was in her 90s when diagnosed - was also at stage 4. She refused chemo/treatment and lived 2 more weeks in which she got to say goodbye to everyone, eat all her favorite foods and then die peacefully in her sleep with several loved ones beside her.
I think he's going to choose chemo.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 10, 2014 21:47:53 GMT -5
I have a friend that was just diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He's in the process of deciding if he wants to go through chemotherapy. More data is being gathered and will be needed before they know if he's even eligible for chemo, but the preliminary discussions with the docs indicate that without chemo he's looking at a few months to live. With chemo he's looking at maybe extending that to a few more months.
There really is no possible way to know how one would react unless one is in that situation, but what do you guess you would choose? Why? Stage 4? I have no doubt what I'd choose. I'd refuse chemotherapy and request hospice care. Stage IV lung cancer means that the cancer has metastized to his brain, liver, and/or a few more critical organs. My mom's lung cancer metastized to her brain stem. Prognosis is usually in weeks, not months. Mom died about 10 weeks after she was diagnosed and she had radiation therapy. The therapy alleviated her symptoms some. My dad has just undergone chemo for pancreatic cancer. According to him, it was not as bad as he anticipated and his worst symptom was lack of energy. He is on some sort of maintenance chemo now, but the doctors can't find any cancer now. I know the prognosis sucks, but if the chemo bought him 6 months or a year, how do you put a price on this? As everyone's situation is different, who is to know how I'd respond?
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 10, 2014 22:39:47 GMT -5
Stage 4? I have no doubt what I'd choose. I'd refuse chemotherapy and request hospice care. Stage IV lung cancer means that the cancer has metastized to his brain, liver, and/or a few more critical organs. My mom's lung cancer metastized to her brain stem. Prognosis is usually in weeks, not months. Mom died about 10 weeks after she was diagnosed and she had radiation therapy. The therapy alleviated her symptoms some. My dad has just undergone chemo for pancreatic cancer. According to him, it was not as bad as he anticipated and his worst symptom was lack of energy. He is on some sort of maintenance chemo now, but the doctors can't find any cancer now. I know the prognosis sucks, but if the chemo bought him 6 months or a year, how do you put a price on this? As everyone's situation is different, who is to know how I'd respond? My situation is a bit different than yours, Mich. I'm 72 years old. I know precisely what I'd choose. It's different when you're younger and it's different when you have children depending on you. For me, the choice would be obvious. My daughter would see to mother's care. When you get to be my age you usually have things pretty well figured out.
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Nazgul Girl
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Oct 11, 2014 0:13:01 GMT -5
My sister-in-law died after a three year fight against stage 4 adenocarcinoma. She was a very experienced nurse who had taken care of critical patients for many years. She knew what the odds were against her, but decided to have both chemo and radiation treatments. She wanted to prolong her life as much as possible because of her 93 year-old mother, her niece ( DD ) and because of her cats. We had a hell of a good time visiting with her during the last 3 years of her life. She told us that she had been afraid of the chemo and radiation tx's, but she felt good on them right until the couple of months. It was amazing. She didn't look too good due to hair and weight loss as the disease progressed, but she kept telling us she had no pain.
So, based on that, I would want to try the treatments to extend my life, as long as I was comfortable and not too much of a burden to my loved ones.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 11, 2014 1:43:34 GMT -5
It would depend on the age and situation of my kids.
I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage four bladder last year. She keeps fighting with everything traditional and non traditional. She hasn't had it too hard with chemo, relatively speaking. But it just keeps growing and spreading. It's devastating every set back, especially with her 9 and 12 yr old boys. She will fight till the end, as would I in that situation.
In the OPs, probably not.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Oct 11, 2014 1:59:43 GMT -5
My beloved sister was diagnosed with stage 4 Kidney cancer, the cancer had gone to her lungs and brain in Sept. 2012. She went through with the massive surgeries, chemo and radiation. In the onset they gave her 2 years max, she died July 14, 2014.
She lost everything and gained another cancer, aggressive bone cancer in Christmas 2013. It was hell on her and everyone.
I have had cancer, I'm a colon cancer survivor. I also had lung surgery cause they thought I had lung cancer last year. I am a fighter, I know nothing else, so I can't say if I'm diagnosed with something that I wouldn't give it my all. I also have been close to death some 11 times now, I'm not afraid of death.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 11, 2014 3:32:52 GMT -5
-grouphug-Hugs to all. I would choose quality. I don't see chemo or radiation, adding to the quality of my life. More hugs...
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sapphire12
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Post by sapphire12 on Oct 11, 2014 9:36:10 GMT -5
Sorry about your friend Milee
Today, I say quality. I've watched 40 and 50 something fight and lose. It's painful on all parties involved.
I also have a 40 something friend, who is fighting and so far winning. I hope and pray she is a long-time healthy survivor.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Oct 11, 2014 11:20:49 GMT -5
I'm a colon cancer stage 3 survivor and I'm 73. Because it was stage 3 I chose to fight. Surgery, chemo, radiation.
When I told my cousin (home health nurse) about it she wondered what she would do. For me it would depend on where I was in my life. The older I get the less important I am to survival of my family.
If this mess shows up again I'll have to see the details to make a decision on the fight.
For me .... quality over quantity.
Many people in my family/friends were at late stage when dx and chose no treatment.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Oct 11, 2014 11:30:42 GMT -5
-grouphug-Hugs to all. I would choose quality. I don't see chemo or radiation, adding to the quality of my life. More hugs... The thing is....it CAN add quality to your life. My mom's metastized cancer was pressing on her brain stem and optic nerve. In fact, double vision and vertigo were her first symptoms, she had no symptoms from her lung cancer and had it not metastized from her lung, it was a very treatable spot as it could be surgically extracted. With her doing radiation therapy, it alleviated the pressure on her optic nerve so she could see normally and it eliminated the vertigo. It didn't lengthen her life, but made it more tolerable.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on Oct 11, 2014 14:08:55 GMT -5
-grouphug-Hugs to all. I would choose quality. I don't see chemo or radiation, adding to the quality of my life. More hugs... The thing is....it CAN add quality to your life. My mom's metastized cancer was pressing on her brain stem and optic nerve. In fact, double vision and vertigo were her first symptoms, she had no symptoms from her lung cancer and had it not metastized from her lung, it was a very treatable spot as it could be surgically extracted. With her doing radiation therapy, it alleviated the pressure on her optic nerve so she could see normally and it eliminated the vertigo. It didn't lengthen her life, but made it more tolerable. You're right. I wasn't thinking of it in this way. I'm glad they were able to help your mom a little. When it comes to something like this, any help is appreciated. Hope you are having a fabulous day!
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Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Oct 11, 2014 16:06:12 GMT -5
My only experience with this is my father. From 1996 -2012, he had five types of cancer. Even though he had multiple opportunities to pass before that--Vietnam, motorcycle accidents, drug experimentation--he had reached a point in his life he actually did care if he died. My youngest sister was ten years old in 1996. My first daughter was born in 1998. He went through radiation, chemo, surgery, some weird shots that dealt with the bone cancer. He made it until Jan 13, 2012 when he had completed a round of chemo and thought he had enough strength and energy to go into his garage/Zhou and work. He accidentally set him self on fire. He so weak he was afraid of breaking a leg/hip if he dropped and rolled. The fire consumed his flannel shirt. He such bad burns, he had to have multiple skin grafts; then he went septic; then his kidneys failed. When the kidneys failed, he was cognizant enough to refuse dialysis. He was done the lack of quality of life finally outweighed the quantity. My youngest sister was pregnant with her first child. She was devastated, but she eventually understood that he was never going to be much more than comatose. He died on february 25, 2012.
So, I think along the lines of mmmhhhhmmmm. It will spend on what stage if life I'm in.
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sesfw
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Post by sesfw on Oct 11, 2014 21:48:36 GMT -5
(((((((((( Chloe )))))))))) I'm so very sorry.
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Oct 11, 2014 22:04:59 GMT -5
So very sorry for those of us who watched loved ones suffer extended passings. My own parents died of cancer, so I know first hand what a difficult journey that is to watch. That said, and absent reliable proof to the contrary, I figure this is my one visit to this rock. I want to stick around as long as possible. My kids are only in high school and have so many of life's milestones to reach. I want to be here for as many as I can. And while I absolutely respect and support the right of others to make different choices -- including assisted (or unassisted) suicide (we need a better term for this) -- it is not something I ever see contemplating for myself. Maybe I am an irrepressible optimist, but I like to believe that the cure for so many of our medical ills is just right around the corner. I'd hate to end my life as someone in a lab is shouting "Eureka!!!"
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Oct 11, 2014 22:09:12 GMT -5
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