F*ck, f*ckity, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck

[giramomma]

Sorry. I just need to vent. And right now, it's the only safe spot I got. I have to keep it together for the kids.

I hate being an adult.

[Miss Tequila]

((Hugs))

[zibazinski]

[zibazinski]

Can we help?

[Jaguar]

Oh my let it all out.

[Phoenix84]

So what's up?

[chiver78]

I don't know how late I'll be up tonight, but I'm not straying far from my laptop until I go to bed. vent away, we're here.

[Deleted]

Hugs to you (((Gira))). 

ETA: Is this about your DH? His addiction issues? Feel free to ignore that question if you'd rather!

[Miss Tequila]

Sept 12, 2014 18:39:58 GMT -5 @debthaven2 said:

Hugs to you (((Gira))). 

ETA: Is this about your DH? His addiction issues? 

That's what I'm afraid of...I hope we are way off base :-(

[giramomma]

Actually you just did.

There's a bit of a rumor that I won't have one of my jobs, effective immediately. Last week, I knew it would be cut down, because of financial issues. We would be down $200/month. But, that we could handle.

Something changed between Monday and Wednesday.

It's a swing of $400/month, which covered DD2's preschool and a few other misc bills.

I've started applying at a few jobs, secretary type jobs that you don't need any skills for and haven't heard anything back.

There's a few more I can apply for.

I'm working on marketing my studio, and I'll network.  I usually pick up a few kids this time of year.

I've been taking some professional development courses, and all that shit is due Monday. I still have about 20 hours worth of work. I'm not sure when I'm going to have time to finish my course, work, and apply for jobs. Plus about a million forms to fill out for school and what not.

So I just called the exec director, and of course I can't get a hold of her. I don't know if this is just for the first semester. Which makes the other job hunting an issue.

Of course, my ILs are out of town, too. If they could take the littlest after preschool on Tuesday, I could jockey my hours and we wouldn't need the babysitter one day a week. That would save of $200/month. And, then we'd be OK.

We just were getting on our feet. To the point where we could think about a nice trip next summer to Maine. Where I could add money back to our accounts where they should be in the next year or two.

F*ck.  I won't be on much after this. I have a child to read to me, and put to bed, assignments to turn in, and trombone to listen to.

I know in the grand scheme of things, we'll be OK. And, these are still first world problems. But, I'd like it to stop.

[Peace77]

Hope tomorrow will be better.     

[giramomma]

No. Husband is fabulous and sober. I came home to a very nice homecooked dinner tonight.

ETA: And we can see parts of our kitchen counter that I thought were lost because he did a nice job decluttering.

ETAA: But he is being a d*ck right now about the urgency of the situation. Freaking drives me nuts. He's always been like that though, since we were dating.

[Sam_2.0]

((((Hugs)))) gira.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using proboards

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry about the job. I know it's hard right now but I'm sure things will work out. 

I'm really, really glad that it's not about your husband! You'll find a way, I'm sure. 

Just one point, out of nowhere: I know you give private lessons. Have you revisited your prices? I'm sure you hate to raise them, but people do, you know. Not every year, but every 2 or 3 years. Just a thought.

[Shooby]

 It's annoying but you will get thru.  What is the "urgency" of the situation though?  What is it you want your DH to see about that?

[taz157]

[Deleted]

Also, Gira, believe me, I do NOT want to add any stress to your situation. But it has seemed for a long while that you are stretched INCREDIBLY thin. And now you're taking classes too! 

IIRC, your DH just got a new job, and will be bringing in more income. I know that it's a financial blow if you lose your second or third job (is that even sure?!)

But maybe instead of immediately trying to scramble for another third job, you'd be better off refocusing, thinking things through and trying to find the best situation short and medium (if not long) term. If you're taking classes, you need the time to do the work. As much as you'd like to, the reality is, you can't do EVERYTHING. 

Dunno, just thinking out loud. 

All the best to you! You WILL get through this!

ETA: I'm actually thinking maybe this is Gd / the universe telling you, you need to slow down. 

[TheHaitian]

Can you dip into your husband inheritance?

[Deleted]

Shooby, I'm guessing that they have money in the bank so Gira's DH thinks they'll be fine for a while, and that Gira doesn't want to use their savings / stop adding to it. 

[mmhmm]

Gira, hon, I'm so sorry. Sometimes, it seems like the sky opens up and rains down trouble in torrents! I wish it weren't happening to you. Feel free to vent all you like. We're with you and will try to help in any way we can.

[Shooby]

Yes, but there is a time to just take a deep breath.  Having urgency is fine.  But, it often takes time to move in a different direction.  Don't make yourself crazy in the process, it will come.  So, i am kind of with him on this one, that it will be OK. 

---

[Deleted]

Carl, I don't think Gira's DH has inherited, I think his parents are still alive. But, I think they are wealthy, and Gira has said in another thread that she has a huge problem accepting gifts from them.

But I was sort of thinking the same thing, maybe let your ILs help more than you do, for your kids / their grandkids? Even if it's just temporary. My out-laws (ex in-laws) are extremely wealthy. I have my pride too, but personally, I have NEVER had a problem with them contributing to my kids' education. And I don't think that makes me a slacker. I'm immensely grateful to them for the educational opportunities my kids have had, with no loans for them, and no loans for my ex or me either. Both my ex and I contributed too, the kids didn't get a full ride, but they got help. 

Maybe you could revisit the situation and allow your in-laws to help you with your kids' school fees? Again, even temporarily?

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Sorry to hear this - hoping that you already putting out your feelers for a new position will happen for you soon. I don't know the entire back-story, but is your DH working?

No, you don't want to dip into your savings if you can help it. All the best to you and hope it works out quickly.

(Your thread title sure did catch my attention though).

[Miss Tequila]

And here is where I don my fireproof suit. If you are already working full time plus some part time work, I think your husband needs to step up his employment. You are stretched way too thin as it is.

[whoisjohngalt]

You are such a strong woman, you can handle it.  But!!! Miss T is right, may be your husband can do some things in the meantime.

Huge hugs to you and strength and all the good vibes and wishes in the world!

[Shooby]

Or, maybe it is time to start learning to live on less and that more money doesn't necessarily make your life better?

[Miss Tequila]

Sept 12, 2014 19:28:00 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You are such a strong woman, you can handle it.  But!!! Miss T is right, may be your husband can do some things in the meantime.

Huge hugs to you and strength and all the good vibes and wishes in the world!

"Miss T is right"....now those are words I don't hear too often

[giramomma]

Well, the problem with DH working full time is that our daycare costs go from 500/month to 3K per month. With private school, we'd need him to net 4k a month. DH earns 17/hour right now. I don't see that as a realistic option. He had a chance to work full time, and he figured he'd gross 35-40K. We'd still be short AND in a higher tax bracket.

And, yes, we could tap into his portfolio, it's been his since 18. And technically, it's half mine. But, we treat that like retirement money. I'm sure no one would suggest here that we tap into our 401Ks to get through.

And like I said, I do realize it does sound funny, to be complaining/venting/frustrated right now. I completely understand how this looks.

I'm a planner, for the most part. To the point, of planning things out 5-10 years in advanced. I'd be OK with the reduction, if it didn't happen like, in 4 days. I'm not used to this. I'm not used to having to really mind our finances, still, since the littlest came along. Shoot, I was just figuring out today what to get the littlest for Christmas.
 
And, I will be asking DH to do some of the paperwork stuff tomorrow. In his defense, yesterday he emailed me and asked me what he needed to do for me. And he's been taking care of things. So, it's not like he's sitting around and eating bon-bons while I'm out slaving and not getting any rest.

Part of it is still old tapes from childhood. When stuff like this happens, I tend to immediately go back to what feels comfortable. Which is to fall apart, declare that life is over, assume that we'll lose our house tomorrow. Because being middle class really means poor. The ghosts of being raised with a poor relationship with money rear their ugly heads, still, from time to time.

We've had a very lovely summer, actually. I don't talk about that. My teaching load was down to nothing, and essentially, I worked 4 day weeks. My kids and I bowled, fished, swam, read, walked, played games, etc. There was no volunteering, nothing.

Need to go and read more stories.

[damnotagain]

Lol , usually using a hammer brings such things to mind.

[whoisjohngalt]

Sept 12, 2014 19:29:43 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Sept 12, 2014 19:28:00 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

You are such a strong woman, you can handle it.  But!!! Miss T is right, may be your husband can do some things in the meantime.

Huge hugs to you and strength and all the good vibes and wishes in the world!

"Miss T is right"....now those are words I don't hear too often

It was hard typing them, believe me!!!!