First lie

[nutty]

I signed the petition for dissolution of marriage thurs afternoon. Called the office today to see why he has not been served. She said no case number yet. I called the court, they said when it is filed online they it gets assigned a case number within 20 to 60 minutes. So the lawyer has not filed it yet when they told me they would do it first thing friday.

[NancysSummerSip]

May not have been a deliberate thing. Attorneys get interrupted by stuff all the time. And it is good that they can do the online filing; it is much faster than going to court and waiting in line for a clerk to handle actual paper.

Once it's filed, you should indeed see a case number by the end of the day, assuming an early-morning filing.

[Angel!]

Sorry to hear that.  You could always look for a new lawyer if you feel this may be a problem.

[nutty]

It goes back to my issue with when you are going to do something do it, don't tell me that it will be filed online first thing in the morning, don't tell me it takes 24 hours to get a case number because it doesn't. I was expecting him to get served yesterday, and told him now I look like an idiot. Well I feel like an idiot.

[Shooby]

Things take time. Just grit your teeth and you will get thru it.

[nutty]

Thanks guys, I am still annoyed I don't want to be that pain in the butt.....but do what you say you are going to do.

[Nazgul Girl]

   Your attorney has to find a process server, so it might take a couple of days.   You're in the process of divorce, and things have to be worked through, so it really doesn't matter exactly what day your soon-to-be-ex gets served.    I've been through the same thing, so I'm just writing this on the basis of my personal experience.

   Also, because you're going to get billed for phone time with your attorney as well as all other time, now you're going to have to pay him to have told him that " now " you " look like an idiot. "  Think carefully about making these emotional decisions to call him or email him.   

[nutty]

Not an emotional call at all because she SAID it will be filed first thing fri morning, she said he would be served fri or mon depending on when they get the case number. The court SAiD when it is filed online they get a case number within 20 to 60 minutes. So they lied. It either wasnt filed fri orthey had over anticipated their server availabilty. When I called it now sounds like she lied and said there is not a case number yet when it probably wasnt filed until yesterday or today. I will guve the benefit of the doubt that they have just not done what they said they would. I will also call the court tomorrow to verify that it indeed only takes an hour to get a case nber when filed online. But dont fricking lie to me.

[milee]

Dealing with the court and various attorneys is going to be a long process. It's unpredictable, frustrating, random and you will have little to no control. If you start trying to micromanage it and allow small bumps like this to throw you off kilter, you will cause yourself additional misery. 

If you're uncomfortable with your attorney, get a new one.  But if this attorney is the one you like and there are no other problems, take a breath and stop letting small things like this get you worked up.  Even with the best attorney in the area, there will be things that don't happen when you think they will. 

Along those lines, this wouldn't be a big deal if you weren't still engaging in bickering with your STBX.  No need to talk to him about your legal actions - that's what his attorney is for.  Pull yourself back, take some breaths and focus on the things you can control - because the timing and outcome of the legal process isn't something you can control and is not worth the sturm und drang.

[swamp]

Some times I plan on filing things first thing in the morning but shit happens. A secretary calls in sick, I get called to court, I closing goes kablooey, whatever. It will get filed. In the grand scheme, this isn't worth stressing about. 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

You've been hemming & hawing about even getting a divorce for months - then more worrying and over-thinking before filing.

There's no point in you getting all worked-up and stressed-out over a day or two delay in him being served.

It will all work out if you keep a cool head and let things take their course, instead of panicking the minute something doesn't immediately happen.

Now breathe !

[Green Eyed Lady]

It's not necessarily your attorney.  I don't know the exact procedures about anywhere but where I am, but here, the attorney files with the court and the clerks of said court are the ones who file it for assignment of a case number.  It may be sitting in someone's in-box waiting it's turn.  I wouldn't be too quick to blame your attorney.

[Green Eyed Lady]

I know it is not "whatever" to you, nutty.  It's a business for everyone else but for you, it's personal.  I think sometimes people forget that....or they never cared in the first place.  You are just a case number - one of many that passes through every day.  That doesn't make people bad or anything but they can be highly insensitive.  I probably would be, too, so that's not criticism.

[ArchietheDragon]

She is a lawyer.  What did you expect?

[Shooby]

Aug 26, 2014 19:40:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

Some times I plan on filing things first thing in the morning but shit happens. A secretary calls in sick, I get called to court, I closing goes kablooey, whatever. It will get filed. In the grand scheme, this isn't worth stressing about. 

I find it interesting that excuses for not getting the job done apply to lawyers but no one else.

[swamp]

Aug 26, 2014 21:16:39 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Aug 26, 2014 19:40:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

Some times I plan on filing things first thing in the morning but shit happens. A secretary calls in sick, I get called to court, I closing goes kablooey, whatever. It will get filed. In the grand scheme, this isn't worth stressing about. 

I find it interesting that excuses for not getting the job done apply to lawyers but no one else.

I'm pretty sure doctors have the same thins happen. They get called away on emergencies too, or run behind becias the nurse isn't there. 

If I get called into court, and I tell the judge I can't make it becuse I'm filing a divorce action that doesn't include a request for immediate relief, I'll find myself on the end of a contempt proceeding. 

[Deleted]

I've been dealing with so much legal stuff the past year and a half it's not even funny. Lots of hurrying to get things filed in time, then waiting around for weeks for hearings and orders.  Then go to court only to get things pushed out again.  In the grand scheme of things, the serving of the papers yesterday or tomorrow or Friday doesn't really matter.   If you two are going to be going back and forth for awhile on some of this stuff it could take awhile! 

[Deleted]

Stop micromanaging your lawyer. Just give it a week. And why would you even tell your ex when he'll get served? You were telling Angel to stop checking up on her ex. In her case there is a legitimate reason. In yours, i see no reason to be even communicating directly now that you have a lawyer.

[nutty]

Don't lie to me, it doesn't set the stage for the future.

[nutty]

I needed his work address, it is a secured facilty. I even got the street wrong. How the heck I didn't know what street he was on baffles me.

[Deleted]

Aug 27, 2014 1:08:00 GMT -5 nutty said:

Don't lie to me, it doesn't set the stage for the future.

You're being a bit dramatic.  Relax. 

[Shooby]

As long as it gets done, it will get done. Don't look for me reasons to be annoyed, irritated, etc. You are separated now. The legal paperwork will get done in time.

[Deleted]

"Don't lie to me, it doesn't set the stage for the future."

You are projecting your issue with your husband to your lawyer. Stop it. There could be a million reasons why it didnt get filed the day she/he said. It is not that big of a deal.

When i was getting divorce, it felt like my lawyer kept shutting down any information i brought to her attention saying it wouldnt matter blah blah. So i finally emailed her and told her i only had one shot at this and i felt she wasnt being a very good advocate for me or my son. She responded right away and asked me to come in to her office to discuss everything and any questions i had as long as i needed, free of charge because she said she wanted me to feel comfortable and confident with her. It was an hour + free meeting (she charges $300+/hr).

If you dont feel comfortable/confident, let your lawyer know or find a new one. But in your case i think it is way too soon to judge. My guess is you are not ready so you are looking for any excuse.

[Shooby]

"First" lie. Are you expecting others as well and plan to catalog them? Don't do that to yourself.

[swamp]

Does your husband have a lawyer?   If he does, the lawyer can accept service for him. Or he could sign an admission of service and save yourself the service fee. 

[swamp]

Our clerks office public portal will not show filing until about a week after it happens.  

[tallguy]

So to sum up, everyone's advice is to stop being nutty.  Is that about right?

[ArchietheDragon]

I think Nutty's point is don't tell her they are doing something and then not do it. 

Under promising and over delivering is so much a better way to keep clients happy versus blowing smoke up their asses and not meeting deadlines. 

[swamp]

Aug 27, 2014 8:07:38 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

I think Nutty's point is don't tell her they are doing something and then not do it. 

Under promising and over delivering is so much a better way to keep clients happy versus blowing smoke up their asses and not meeting deadlines. 

But also, sometimes shit happens.  

No deadline was blown. No request for temporary relief is delayed. It's not the end of the world. 

[sarcasticgirl]

Aug 26, 2014 21:16:39 GMT -5 Shooby said:

Aug 26, 2014 19:40:57 GMT -5 swamp said:

Some times I plan on filing things first thing in the morning but shit happens. A secretary calls in sick, I get called to court, I closing goes kablooey, whatever. It will get filed. In the grand scheme, this isn't worth stressing about. 

I find it interesting that excuses for not getting the job done apply to lawyers but no one else.

As someone who works in one of the country's big firms... This isn't true. Almost daily I am informing attorneys as to why they can't have what they want done "right now" a lot if it currently has to do with being short staffed.
I have also had to badger the hell out of an attorney and their secretary to get documents... It goes both ways.
Though, I will say I have never yelled at any one, but have had more than a hand full of attorneys yell at me. As if that is going to so anything but make me tell them I will hangup if they continue yelling and then drag my feet on whatever they wanted in the first place.

Nutty- I agree with others. A few days is nothing in this process. You have a lawyer, now just let them do the communicating with the ex and you just concentrate on YOU and what will make you happy as you move on to a new part of your life.

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