A new "what to wear to a wedding" thread NOW WITH DRESS PICS

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Now, I don't have a 30yo dress to wear to a wedding, well because I'm only in my 30s.   (totally joking, athena)

So, I'm wondering if I can wear a white dress to a wedding. 
It's sleeveless, linen, JCrew, stops at my knees, triangle cut out on the back. 
I can wear a scarf as a belt, a cardigan, and big jewelry, and colorful wedges with it that are all teal based. It's not that I have to wear the white dress, I do have another choice. I just don't have many opportunities to wear this one. It's an outside, evening wedding. 

I know it's certainly not taboo anymore, and less tacky, but I don't want to be annoying. 
What do you think?

[plugginaway22]

I think that with the colorful accessories this would be fine, but all white with no color? No, but JMHO.

[Peace Of Mind]

Aug 17, 2014 15:31:59 GMT -5 plugginaway22 said:

I think that with the colorful accessories this would be fine, but all white with no color? No, but JMHO.

It would be mine too.  A little white I'd feel ok with but if it were me - all white?  No.  Unless the bride is wearing a colored dress you aren't supposed to wear white unless it's specifically requested and they are doing an all white and/or all white and black scheme.

You can Google and find various forms of "It's ok now..." type blogs, etc. but it's still frowned on even today. 

[Deleted]

It sounds pretty, but if you have doubts, don't wear it.

[geenamercile]

I'm going to go safe and say no, but if you want to ask the bride, maid of honor about it and follow what they say.

[Deleted]

I'd ask the bride but I don't think it would be a big deal since it's knee-length and you're adding colorful accessories.

But then, I'm not a recognized expert on the subject! ;-)

BTW, we never made it to the wedding that was the subject of my thread. @$)!! USAirways delayed and delayed and delayed our flight and eventually we told them we'd get into town too late and to give us a refund and we 'd go home. Good thing I didn't pay to rent a designer dress and had brought my pinstriped suit!

[Lizard Queen]

I wouldn't wear it, but then again, I find wedding attire challenging. No white, no red, no black, though now black is more okay, not too flashy, but flashy enough. I'm just glad I don't have any weddings coming up!

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Well, dang it. I mentioned it to DH, andhe vetoed it immediately.

I won't wear it.



So, maybe now this is a thread about

Do you tell your spouse/SO what to wear? Do you let your spouse/SO tell you what to wear?

[marvholly]

My spouse would (rarely) ask my opinion. I would sometimes ask him to choose between a couple of things I was considering, esp if it was an event on his side.

[zibazinski]

Don't ask me. My second cousin just got married and it looked worse than a hillbilly wedding and she doesn't have enough class to realize it so has splashed wedding photos all over FB. I'm just praying no one that is on my FB realizes she's related to me. 

[geenamercile]

My Dh and I will share ideas on what to wear.  Or we may ask each other's opinion on items.  Normally we respect the results.  

[thyme4change]

I don't get the whole "Don't wear white to a wedding" thing.  I mean do you really, really think that someone is going to go to a wedding and not figure out who the bride is because another girl, sitting in the middle of pew #8, and assigned to table 16 at the reception is wearing a cotton, white short dress.

I guess if you know it is a super-casual wedding and the bride isn't wearing traditional bridal wear - but rather a sundress or something, you might want to be careful not to wear the same sundress.  But if it is a regular wedding and she went to a bridal shop and bought something with tulle and beads and crap - no, you won't ruin the whole wedding by stealing her spotlight.  

[swamp]

If it's a white dress that looks like a wedding dress, no, dont wear it.

I'm ok with a casual sundress with colorful accessories.

[whoisjohngalt]

3 things

1.  I am still in shock from finding out that  you are only in your 30s
2.  I can't answer OP until I see pictures
3.  I try not to tell my husband what to wear, but sometimes it's really really hard.  We seem to have a difference of opinion on when it is appropriate to dress up.

[Pants]

I think white (as long as it doesn't look bridal) is ok UNLESS you are someone who would be perceived as trying to steal the spotlight - an ex-girlfriend, mother of the bride/groom, etc.

[zibazinski]

Ooh, then I shouldn't wear white to the Princesses wedding? 

[Ryan]

I wouldn't wear it. You don't want to show up and look like some kind of diva.  

I'm glad that we don't have to worry about things like this.  I just break out the suit, put on a tie, and then when I've had a few beverages, the tie goes on my head as I hit the dance floor.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't do it because some people are going to take it to mean you are competing with the bride for attention. It's not that anyone will mistake you for the bride, it is that the bride will not be quite as unique or stand out quite as much in pictures etc. Your one little dress would not be a big deal but if a lot of women wore white your eye would not immediately go to the bride either in a crowd or in pictures. I just let her have her day.

ETA - actually on rethinking, yes one other white dress is a big deal because people's eye will be drawn to the white since only you and the bride will be wearing it. No matter how you cut it, it takes away from the bride being the star for a day and the rest of us being the chorus.

[NancysSummerSip]

Aug 18, 2014 9:46:41 GMT -5 Ryan said:

I wouldn't wear it. You don't want to show up and look like some kind of diva.  

I'm glad that we don't have to worry about things like this.  I just break out the suit, put on a tie, and then when I've had a few beverages, the tie goes on my head as I hit the dance floor.

I'd pay to see that!

My mother wore a black suit with diamond closures to my wedding. My MIL wore red. so much for those taboos. Then again, my dress color was champagne. Flower girls wore black dresses with a large floral print. Sounds hellish, but the photos turned out nice.

For a summer wedding, I don't see why you cannot wear a white sundress with color accents. Maybe a bright shawl/sweater if you will be indoors for part of the day, in the event of freezing A/C?

[bookkeeper]

Aug 17, 2014 23:08:04 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Well, dang it. I mentioned it to DH, andhe vetoed it immediately.

I won't wear it.



So, maybe now this is a thread about

Do you tell your spouse/SO what to wear? Do you let your spouse/SO tell you what to wear?

My husband has gotten a few fashion citations from women he works with and one lady we socialize with.  The older he gets, the less he can distinguish colors especially in the green/brown/gray ranges.

He does ask my opinion several times a week because I can get dressed and look acceptable for most occasions, while he struggles to put together outfits.  He has other skills, however that I appreciate more than his fashion sense.

DH grew up in a big family during the 70's so his clothing choices were somewhat limited.  Jeans and T shirts were his wardrobe until he graduated from college and got his first real job. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Do you tell your spouse/SO what to wear

Since my DH's wardrobe of choice is one hunting T-shirt so full of holes I'm surprised it still counts as a T-shirt and camouflage shorts. .. yes I'll sometimes tell him what to wear.

I know his mom raised him to dress appropriately for the occasion, but he tends to ignore it. I don't make a big deal out of it unless he tries to escape the house in that outfit to go to a funeral or a wedding. You don't pay your respects wearing that crap.

DH doesn't need to tell me what to wear because my grandmother would haunt me from beyond the grave if I didn't know how to dress properly.

[zibazinski]

Actually, sometimes I do. He was going to wear jeans and a plaid shirt to check out Princesses wedding venue. I told him he wasn't looking at a machine in a factory and to wear something nicer. He did go in and change. I didn't do it for princess, I did it for him.

[Cookies Galore]

I personally would not be bothered by a linen/cotton knee length dress. As the bride, I'm going to be the best dressed anyway! Lol. My MIL wore a dress that had a white lace top and a black skirt. I didn't find it to be flattering at all, but she had trouble finding a dress, so I was happy she found something she liked. My stepmom was the diva of the wedding. She wore a sparkly navy dress (it was very pretty) and that was HER color and that was it, poor MIL's favorite color is navy but she dared not cross stepmom. Weddings be drama.

I do remember waiting to go inside the reception and it was me, hubs, dad, stepmom. The venue coordinator came up to stepmom telling her how gorgeous she looked and then looked at me and was all "you look great too." Gee, thanks. Lol. Lot of comments from her friends on tagged Facebook photos that even said she stole the show.

[cael]

I only tell DH what to wear if he picks a shirt or tie that looks awful with whatever I'm wearing, and even then it's usually only because he's colorblind. He likes matching/complimenting my dress nicely so he usually asks my opinion - one of the only times he does he loves dressing up! Dresses like shit the rest of the time, but he likes getting fancy for nice occasions.

[Blonde Granny]

Aug 18, 2014 9:32:33 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

Ooh, then I shouldn't wear white to the Princesses wedding? 

Why don't you and DF make it a double wedding with the Princess Bride? Then we can have the King & Queen get married and the Prince & the Princess. It might be cheaper on your DH that way.

[Blonde Granny]

Aug 18, 2014 12:30:20 GMT -5 cael said:

I only tell DH what to wear if he picks a shirt or tie that looks awful with whatever I'm wearing, and even then it's usually only because he's colorblind. He likes matching/complimenting my dress nicely so he usually asks my opinion - one of the only times he does he loves dressing up! Dresses like shit the rest of the time, but he likes getting fancy for nice occasions.

OMG, I made DH and I matching Hawaiian shirts for a Luau at our lake Yacht Club dinner. You would have thought I asked him to cut off his ++++. He ended up wearing it, but it went into the trash that same night.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Aug 18, 2014 8:16:44 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

3 things

1.  I am still in shock from finding out that  you are only in your 30s
2.  I can't answer OP until I see pictures
3.  I try not to tell my husband what to wear, but sometimes it's really really hard.  We seem to have a difference of opinion on when it is appropriate to dress up.

1. How'd you miss that? 
2. Let me see what I can find. 
3. Overdressed is better than underdressed. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Aug 18, 2014 12:50:06 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

Aug 18, 2014 12:30:20 GMT -5 cael said:

I only tell DH what to wear if he picks a shirt or tie that looks awful with whatever I'm wearing, and even then it's usually only because he's colorblind. He likes matching/complimenting my dress nicely so he usually asks my opinion - one of the only times he does he loves dressing up! Dresses like shit the rest of the time, but he likes getting fancy for nice occasions.

OMG, I made DH and I matching Hawaiian shirts for a Luau at our lake Yacht Club dinner. You would have thought I asked him to cut off his ++++. He ended up wearing it, but it went into the trash that same night.

Dressing to avoid clashing is one thing. 
Wearing matching shirts is totally cheesy. 

[chiver78]

Aug 17, 2014 20:48:47 GMT -5 Lizard Queen said:

I wouldn't wear it, but then again, I find wedding attire challenging. No white, no red, no black, though now black is more okay, not too flashy, but flashy enough. I'm just glad I don't have any weddings coming up!

why are red and black off limits?

[whoisjohngalt]

Aug 19, 2014 19:26:50 GMT -5 Knee Deep in Water Chloe said:

Aug 18, 2014 8:16:44 GMT -5 whoisjohngalt said:

3 things

1.  I am still in shock from finding out that  you are only in your 30s
2.  I can't answer OP until I see pictures
3.  I try not to tell my husband what to wear, but sometimes it's really really hard.  We seem to have a difference of opinion on when it is appropriate to dress up.

1. How'd you miss that? 
2. Let me see what I can find. 
3. Overdressed is better than underdressed. 

1.  Consider it a compliment, you sound too wise to be that young
2.  I really really hope so, I LOVE pictures
3.  THAT is not my husband's problem