hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 9:50:01 GMT -5
I read the entire thread, and all I keep thinking is that there is someone out there who called the police because someone called them a bitch. Then talked about how immature and juvenile the other person is. There are 2 children here playing childish games, which is all well and good as long as you're both enjoying it.
Hopefully nothing important happened in the area while the name-calling investigation was taking up valuable police time.
I need to get the cops on speed-dial. Someone stole my water bottle from the fridge the other day, it never occurred I should call the cops over this theft.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 10:09:38 GMT -5
Well, good morning to you, too hoops902. LOL! Yup. That someone is me. After over a year of dealing with my office, business cards (being taken from the building foyer), and person being screwed with, I'd had enough. As mentioned, I called the cops to get her harassment to stop, and to have it on record just in case she becomes physically abusive. She's unstable, so one never knows. Judge all you want, but the police officer took it very seriously because it's a form of domestic abuse. Not sure if you ever have been the victim of domestic abuse, but it starts with name calling, then shoving, then punching. ETA: The building manager had my locks changed the day after I told her what was happening. We're not sure if S's DH had my suite before me, but I think someone was coming in my office during my absence. That in itself is a crime.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 10:20:51 GMT -5
So I told DH last night what the lawyer said. His response was: So, we just sit around and wait to be served with a 10 day notice? What if we have to move that shit in the winter? I told him hopefully the building manager won't be that vindictive.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 20, 2014 10:23:58 GMT -5
If it was just a one time name calling I would agree with you hoops. But she has been dealing with her hostility for a while now. Is she just supposed to sit and wait for the next attack? Or is she supposed to do the same to her?
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 10:35:38 GMT -5
Thanks, @bunnysmom. Some of my guy friends who know S told me I should have confronted her, because she wears her emotions on her sleeve. But, as mentioned on the prior page, I've tried talking to her before. Plus, if I got in her face, she can continue to play the victim, Iggy's an ass card. Guys can scrap, make up, then go play golf together. It's different with women. (Yes, I'm generalizing.) Especially this woman. She's held this grudge for so long... It must be hardening her arteries and giving her ulcers. What is strange is she is into the new age stuff, where we should pine for world peace and love one another. Her behavior toward me is the complete opposite of her philosophies, IMO. I'll give you more examples from the past: S walked by my open door with friends/clients and said: "I thought you might like that" (as though I'm on display at a zoo) or "I'm gonna sue you", etc. And yes, I closed my office door until summer hit and it became too hot in my office. But again, it shouldn't be my burden to have to deal with an asshole while conducting business.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Aug 20, 2014 11:30:17 GMT -5
You do realize that at least some of the time she's walking by your office door with other people the comments aren't directed at you, right? You're already upset with her, and looking for things to get more upset about, so when she walks by in mid conversation and you hear one phrase you're looking for any way to make it an insult towards you.
In my opinion you have two ways to deal with an obnoxious person. Option one, ignore them entirely. Don't engage, don't escalate, don't try to figure out, nothing.
Option two, next time she makes snide comments or whatever get up right then, get in her face, call her a fat ****, and tell her to shut the fuck up before you shove her cell phone down her fucking throat.
Either be the bigger person, or the crazier one. Nobody fucks with crazy.
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justme
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Post by justme on Aug 20, 2014 11:33:30 GMT -5
Either be the bigger person, or the crazier one. Nobody fucks with crazy. A pretty good life motto I must say.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 11:35:34 GMT -5
In my opinion you have two ways to deal with an obnoxious person. Option one, ignore them entirely. Don't engage, don't escalate, don't try to figure out, nothing. I have been, for over a year. I am done.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 11:40:22 GMT -5
::Judge all you want, but the police officer took it very seriously because it's a form of domestic abuse. Not sure if you ever have been the victim of domestic abuse, but it starts with name calling, then shoving, then punching.::
If you'd asked me yesterday, I would have said I've never been a domestic abuse victim. If someone calling me a name constitutes domestic abuse, then I have been a domestic abuse survivor MANY times in my life (probably hundreds if not thousands). I am strong, I will get through this!
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 20, 2014 11:46:07 GMT -5
When I realized you were a woman, it made more sense. First of all, she is very insecure in her relationship and probably is watching her husband, perhaps with good reason, like a hawk. I'm going to assume you are attractive enough or present yourself well. That's another threat to her. You're also the "winner" even more of a threat. No winning this one. You can leave but you won't have peace because you are on her radar. I'd do the stuff to document her behavior and then you could try talking to her husband but I think that's a losing battle there because I'm sure you are not the first she has fixated on and you won't be the last. Even if you can get a restraining order, not easy to do, it won't fix things for you. Even if the LL makes her move, you aren't home free. Not until she fixates on someone else. Ugh.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 11:52:09 GMT -5
zibazinski, good call. cronewitch mentioned pastries on the prior page. I happen to know S's DH has a major sweet tooth. I've brought him sweets after networking meetings, and make holiday treats for everyone in the building. Heck, I've even shown him my tattoos at one point. (That being said, I'm nice like that toward everyone, not just her DH in particular.) I'll never forget riding past him and S during the parade last year, he was tapping his foot to our anti-tax music. He would also come up to us while we were handing out fliers, etc. during the campaign. I would bet he even voted for our side.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Aug 20, 2014 11:53:36 GMT -5
So sorry to hear about this mess! This sounds like the recent bully thread (I think that was on this board) and the "mean people" thread combined. Sounds like "S" needs to get a life and get over the ballot issue loss. That, or she'll find someone else to bully. Hope you get to keep your office in the location you prefer.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Aug 20, 2014 11:54:46 GMT -5
You could really F with her and be SUPER nice to her DH. But I'm mean like that. Someone messes with me, I mess back.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 12:07:15 GMT -5
::When I realized you were a woman, it made more sense.::
Ditto.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 12:13:48 GMT -5
::When I realized you were a woman, it made more sense.:: Ditto. LOL! Sounds like it's time to change my avatar....
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 12:15:03 GMT -5
You could really F with her and be SUPER nice to her DH. But I'm mean like that. Someone messes with me, I mess back. I was thinking about the insecure thing last night: S and her DH were both married to other people when they um, started "seeing" each other. Once a cheater always a cheater?
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Jake 48
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Post by Jake 48 on Aug 20, 2014 12:40:21 GMT -5
Hi Iggy, hire a hooker to come on to S's DH, she walks in on it, karmas a bitch
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Aug 20, 2014 12:49:23 GMT -5
I would keep track of all the stuff S does with specific dates. Also find out the actual building owners name and address. Should building manager ask you to leave, I would send owner a letter stating how unhappy you are that you are being harassed by a tenant who is BM's friend and you are the one who is being asked to leave.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 12:52:43 GMT -5
I would keep track of all the stuff S does with specific dates. Also find out the actual building owners name and address. Should building manager ask you to leave, I would send owner a letter stating how unhappy you are that you are being harassed by a tenant who is BM's friend and you are the one who is being asked to leave. Thanks, Agile. I have documented activities since April, 2013. And I will most definitely find out his address. I do know his first name, and met him shortly after I moved into the building. Let's just say he likes well endowed blonds, so that is in my favor. ETA: Found the owner's addy!
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 20, 2014 13:06:00 GMT -5
I would be careful in someways if asked to leave. And for the record I don't think you are going to be unless this stuff escalates to the point one of you have to leave. As in more police involvement. I think most likely P.M will just keep her head down some and let you two figure it out.
I am also going to say stop with the baking things for S's husband, put distance between you two and if you have to have a business relationship with him then keep is purely business. If you are asked to leave, the last thing you want is for S to have any case that this was a personal matter of you trying to steal her husband, or flirting with her husband ect.... I'm not saying it is true, and you might think it is completely ridiculous, but neither of that is the point, the point is could she make it seem that way.
A letter to the owner might work, but at the same time if the owner has been happy with the P.M for a long time, it maybe pretty easy to for the P.M to paint the picture of two tenets not getting along and decided to side with the longer term tenet. If you had been there first I would think you would have a stronger case. Also a letter of little things may show a pattern, or the owner may take the attitude that you are just being petty with little things and you may be more trouble then you are worth, specially if it is an easy place to rent. Again this goes to being a pattern and if the pattern was smooth with S until you showed up that may make you the easier one to cut.
Last thing is if you are asked to leave in ten days then I would be careful about pissing the P.M off. One even if the owner gets your letter and decided to talk to the PM about it, will all that happen fast enough to save your space. Or will it more likely happen after you already have to move out, may help the next tenet that S has a problem with, but will also most likely piss the P.M off, who new P.Ms would be calling for references. Also don't know how big your town is, but you may run into that P.M with another building as well.
These are just things that popped into my head as other scenario branches that could occur.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 13:15:15 GMT -5
geenamercile, no problems there. S hasn't allowed her DH to speak with me since the election was over last September. He and I have exchanged Hi's in the hallway, but that's it. It all sounds so silly, doesn't it? Wonder what she was like in high school....
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 20, 2014 13:18:17 GMT -5
It does sound silly but being the "new kid" CYA 100 percent.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Aug 20, 2014 13:18:53 GMT -5
I would be careful in someways if asked to leave. And for the record I don't think you are going to be unless this stuff escalates to the point one of you have to leave. As in more police involvement. I think most likely P.M will just keep her head down some and let you two figure it out. I am also going to say stop with the baking things for S's husband, put distance between you two and if you have to have a business relationship with him then keep is purely business. If you are asked to leave, the last thing you want is for S to have any case that this was a personal matter of you trying to steal her husband, or flirting with her husband ect.... I'm not saying it is true, and you might think it is completely ridiculous, but neither of that is the point, the point is could she make it seem that way. A letter to the owner might work, but at the same time if the owner has been happy with the P.M for a long time, it maybe pretty easy to for the P.M to paint the picture of two tenets not getting along and decided to side with the longer term tenet. If you had been there first I would think you would have a stronger case. Also a letter of little things may show a pattern, or the owner may take the attitude that you are just being petty with little things and you may be more trouble then you are worth, specially if it is an easy place to rent. Again this goes to being a pattern and if the pattern was smooth with S until you showed up that may make you the easier one to cut. Last thing is if you are asked to leave in ten days then I would be careful about pissing the P.M off. One even if the owner gets your letter and decided to talk to the PM about it, will all that happen fast enough to save your space. Or will it more likely happen after you already have to move out, may help the next tenet that S has a problem with, but will also most likely piss the P.M off, who new P.Ms would be calling for references. Also don't know how big your town is, but you may run into that P.M with another building as well. These are just things that popped into my head as other scenario branches that could occur. I was thinking after she has left. I would want the owner to know I was leaving because I was asked, not because I was choosing to. If I were the landlord, I would want to know if my manager was choosing to ask the harassed to leave, rather than the harasser, because of a friendship with the harasser. I would wonder what else the manager has done that is not in my best interest (IE keeping the place rented with good tenants)
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 13:23:20 GMT -5
I would be careful in someways if asked to leave. And for the record I don't think you are going to be unless this stuff escalates to the point one of you have to leave. As in more police involvement. I think most likely P.M will just keep her head down some and let you two figure it out. I am also going to say stop with the baking things for S's husband, put distance between you two and if you have to have a business relationship with him then keep is purely business. If you are asked to leave, the last thing you want is for S to have any case that this was a personal matter of you trying to steal her husband, or flirting with her husband ect.... I'm not saying it is true, and you might think it is completely ridiculous, but neither of that is the point, the point is could she make it seem that way. A letter to the owner might work, but at the same time if the owner has been happy with the P.M for a long time, it maybe pretty easy to for the P.M to paint the picture of two tenets not getting along and decided to side with the longer term tenet. If you had been there first I would think you would have a stronger case. Also a letter of little things may show a pattern, or the owner may take the attitude that you are just being petty with little things and you may be more trouble then you are worth, specially if it is an easy place to rent. Again this goes to being a pattern and if the pattern was smooth with S until you showed up that may make you the easier one to cut. Last thing is if you are asked to leave in ten days then I would be careful about pissing the P.M off. One even if the owner gets your letter and decided to talk to the PM about it, will all that happen fast enough to save your space. Or will it more likely happen after you already have to move out, may help the next tenet that S has a problem with, but will also most likely piss the P.M off, who new P.Ms would be calling for references. Also don't know how big your town is, but you may run into that P.M with another building as well. These are just things that popped into my head as other scenario branches that could occur. I was thinking after she has left. I would want the owner to know I was leaving because I was asked, not because I was choosing to. If I were the landlord, I would want to know if my manager was choosing to ask the harassed to leave, rather than the harasser, because of a friendship with the harasser. I would wonder who what else the manager has done that is not in my best interest (IE keeping the place rented with good tenants) And to add to the small town, high school drama: Rumor has it bldg mgr and the owner used to be an item. Not sure if that would work for or against my case. If it's true, the fact he moved back to NY, and she is now living with someone and has for 2 years tells us they've both moved on.... ETA: Make that married now, according to bldg mgr's fb page...
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Aug 20, 2014 13:24:26 GMT -5
::I was thinking after she has left. I would want the owner to know I was leaving because I was asked, not because I was choosing to. If I were the landlord, I would want to know if my manager was choosing to ask the harassed to leave, rather than the harasser, because of a friendship with the harasser. I would wonder who what else the manager has done that is not in my best interest (IE keeping the place rented with good tenants) ::
The place is filled with S, S's relatives, and S's friends. I would guess the owner would be thinking the manager was looking out for his business when he retained a bunch of renters and kicked out the one who seems to be the problem child. The owner isn't there every day to see any of this. He's seeing all these people who get along, and one who seems to have a problem with the rest.
And everyone who gets kicked out is going to claim they were the one being harassed. How many people would be asked to leave and offer up "Good choice, because I was totally harassing your other tenants"? Nobody says that, even if it's true. Who is the owner going to believe? Everyone else? Or OP?
It doesn't matter if OP is in the right or not, it matters what someone unfamiliar with the situation would think if hearing both sides. It may not even matter then, it may matter what someone unfamiliar with the situation thinks is in the best interest of his financial well-being, which is almost certainly booting OP and keeping all the other tenants (even if he knew for a fact they were in the wrong).
If you get booted, it's probably not worthwhile trying to convince the owner you're in the right. Move on, and focus your energy on something productive to help your business!
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 13:30:31 GMT -5
The place is also filled with 3 other professional businesses with whom I get along just fine. (One of the businesses fills up half of the entire floor.)
And, this isn't about being right, or winning. It's about having a calm, professional place my clients can feel welcome and comfortable in. So far, none of them know their insurance agent is being bullied and harassed, and I'll vehemently keep it that way.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 20, 2014 13:30:48 GMT -5
I would be careful in someways if asked to leave. And for the record I don't think you are going to be unless this stuff escalates to the point one of you have to leave. As in more police involvement. I think most likely P.M will just keep her head down some and let you two figure it out. I am also going to say stop with the baking things for S's husband, put distance between you two and if you have to have a business relationship with him then keep is purely business. If you are asked to leave, the last thing you want is for S to have any case that this was a personal matter of you trying to steal her husband, or flirting with her husband ect.... I'm not saying it is true, and you might think it is completely ridiculous, but neither of that is the point, the point is could she make it seem that way. A letter to the owner might work, but at the same time if the owner has been happy with the P.M for a long time, it maybe pretty easy to for the P.M to paint the picture of two tenets not getting along and decided to side with the longer term tenet. If you had been there first I would think you would have a stronger case. Also a letter of little things may show a pattern, or the owner may take the attitude that you are just being petty with little things and you may be more trouble then you are worth, specially if it is an easy place to rent. Again this goes to being a pattern and if the pattern was smooth with S until you showed up that may make you the easier one to cut. Last thing is if you are asked to leave in ten days then I would be careful about pissing the P.M off. One even if the owner gets your letter and decided to talk to the PM about it, will all that happen fast enough to save your space. Or will it more likely happen after you already have to move out, may help the next tenet that S has a problem with, but will also most likely piss the P.M off, who new P.Ms would be calling for references. Also don't know how big your town is, but you may run into that P.M with another building as well. These are just things that popped into my head as other scenario branches that could occur. I was thinking after she has left. I would want the owner to know I was leaving because I was asked, not because I was choosing to. If I were the landlord, I would want to know if my manager was choosing to ask the harassed to leave, rather than the harasser, because of a friendship with the harasser. I would wonder who what else the manager has done that is not in my best interest (IE keeping the place rented with good tenants) And I understand that. However, if you have had a PM for years and have not had any problems or concerns in that time with that PM or tenets. And then get a letter from an ex-tenet claiming they were harassed and that the PM had choose the harasser because of a friendship what would you do first. Talk to the PM. And if the PM could make the case that they were harassing each other, and the one that was let go was making inappropriate gifts and overtures to the others ones husband, and other tenets. Because if I seriously doubt this women has not made any complaints about Iggy if she is being petty. That the complaints went both ways, the police were involved. That as the PM they made a decision to go with the long standing tenet, which has no other complaints from the other tenets then the ex-tent who was the newest. Would you really believe the letter from the ex-tenet or chalk it up to sour grapes of the person who was asked to leave.
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geenamercile
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Post by geenamercile on Aug 20, 2014 13:33:24 GMT -5
The place is also filled with 3 other professional businesses with whom I get along just fine. (One of the businesses fills up half of the entire floor.)
And, this isn't about being right, or winning. It's about having a calm, professional place my clients can fill welcome and comfortable in. So far, none of them know their insurance agent is being bullied and harassed, and I'll vehemently keep it that way. This won't really matter if they get along with S fine too. This is more of a neutral point in no ones favor. And if you really want to keep the place, you may have to put up with some of the PITA that S is and keep it behind the scenes. While it may really suck, if you push the issue with S you may be asked to leave. But as it stands now I don't think you would be, or you would have been as soon as your lease was up. ETA- with your update, if owner and PM use to be married (now I'm wondering if the PM may be part owner in the building too), there is a good chance that the owner might be friends with S too.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Aug 20, 2014 13:46:59 GMT -5
geenamercile, the owner and PM weren't married, the rumor was they used to have a thing. The police officer indicated S accused me of nothing. It is on record she verbally assaulted me. I gave S's DH a cupcake after one networking meeting, and that was it. The baked goods are at Christmastime and are for everyone.
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Abby Normal
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Post by Abby Normal on Aug 20, 2014 13:47:15 GMT -5
And I understand that. However, if you have had a PM for years and have not had any problems or concerns in that time with that PM or tenets. And then get a letter from an ex-tenet claiming they were harassed and that the PM had choose the harasser because of a friendship what would you do first. Talk to the PM. And if the PM could make the case that they were harassing each other, and the one that was let go was making inappropriate gifts and overtures to the others ones husband, and other tenets. Because if I seriously doubt this women has not made any complaints about Iggy if she is being petty. That the complaints went both ways, the police were involved. That as the PM they made a decision to go with the long standing tenet, which has no other complaints from the other tenets then the ex-tent who was the newest. Would you really believe the letter from the ex-tenet or chalk it up to sour grapes of the person who was asked to leave. I guess I wouldn't expect a remedy. But it does let the owner know should there be issues in the future or have been in the past.
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