Knee Deep in Water Chloe
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Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Aug 8, 2014 14:58:52 GMT -5
So, there's been multiple threads about the incidents involving children left in the car this summer.
I'm not sure if this has been addressed here yet, so I apologize if I'm dredging up an already-had conversation.
What age can a child be left in the car by themselves? I think we talked about a four year-old and that that wasn't okay.
My youngest child is 12. We were somewhere a few weeks ago, and I wouldn't let her stay in the car by herself. I let my 16 year-old stay in the car yesterday while I ran into the bank. Granted, she was driving (permit only), and she had the keys.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 8, 2014 15:13:44 GMT -5
If your state has a minimum age where children can be left at home unattended, then I think that would apply here. Otherwise I would say a child that is no longer in a carseat that can get themselves out of the car would be ok for a parent to leave there, obviously provided that particular child would be capable of handling themselves well until mom or dad returned. Not sure I would leave the keys unless there was a licensed driver in the car but I come from a not so great area where running cars are great targets, children or not.
Now I do leave Aly in the car at times when I am in full sight of the car (walk up ATM, dropping something off at a friend's house, putting something in the mailbox, return a cart after shopping). Or I've buckled her in the car in the garage and then needed to run back into the house to grab something quickly (car not running). I can only imagine that will happen more often with two children to juggle. I don't think that really counts as leaving them unattended in this situation though.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 8, 2014 15:15:05 GMT -5
Meh. I tell my 11yo that I get lonely if she doesn't come in the store with me.
She's not buying it, but I still feel better if she's with me.
Like you, I'm not sure what age I'd be comfortable leaving her alone.
(And yes, I do believe in safety in numbers, I might feel different if there was a sibling with her or if she wasn't a girl - don't hate)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 15:24:57 GMT -5
I have no idea how long I've been leaving my 12 year old in the car while I ran into stores for more than a minute or two. Several years I suppose, although usually I make him come in because I hate that he sits on that darn ipod all the time and I figure it's a little time that he's forced to interact with me! The 4 year old I won't leave unless it's a run into the gas station or his brother is with him.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 8, 2014 15:36:38 GMT -5
I have no idea how long I've been leaving my 12 year old in the car while I ran into stores for more than a minute or two. Several years I suppose, although usually I make him come in because I hate that he sits on that darn ipod all the time and I figure it's a little time that he's forced to interact with me! The 4 year old I won't leave unless it's a run into the gas station or his brother is with him. So, what is he doing on the ipod that you hate? I assume it's games and he's not listening to music because that would make me sad that you don't want him to listen to music. I sort of enjoy my kids sticking their heads in the ipods because they stop talking!!!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2014 15:47:17 GMT -5
I have no idea how long I've been leaving my 12 year old in the car while I ran into stores for more than a minute or two. Several years I suppose, although usually I make him come in because I hate that he sits on that darn ipod all the time and I figure it's a little time that he's forced to interact with me! The 4 year old I won't leave unless it's a run into the gas station or his brother is with him. So, what is he doing on the ipod that you hate? I assume it's games and he's not listening to music because that would make me sad that you don't want him to listen to music. I sort of enjoy my kids sticking their heads in the ipods because they stop talking!!! Games. Lots and lots of games. Or worse. Watching videos of people playing games. That really bugs me. He only half-assed is listening to me if he is on that thing (usually he's wearing headphones). I get really annoyed when I have to tell him to do something 2 or 3 times and I keep getting the "in a minute" or "when this video is over". I like the quiet time too, but my son is a slug that would sit on that thing for 16 hours a day if I let him. He seriously has issues with it. My parents took him for a week this summer and requested he didn't bring it with. They said everything went much smoother without it compared to previous years.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 8, 2014 15:52:30 GMT -5
So, what is he doing on the ipod that you hate? I assume it's games and he's not listening to music because that would make me sad that you don't want him to listen to music. I sort of enjoy my kids sticking their heads in the ipods because they stop talking!!! Games. Lots and lots of games. Or worse. Watching videos of people playing games. That really bugs me. He only half-assed is listening to me if he is on that thing (usually he's wearing headphones). I get really annoyed when I have to tell him to do something 2 or 3 times and I keep getting the "in a minute" or "when this video is over". I don't understand watching people playing games either but my younger one does that a lot. :S I'm mean, he doesn't have a true ipod, he has an MP3 player that isn't really video friendly. I get attitude from him and computer stuff is first to go. Then I have to listen to him talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. About the games usually.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 8, 2014 16:13:38 GMT -5
I don't understand watching people playing games either but my younger one does that a lot. :S I'm mean, he doesn't have a true ipod, he has an MP3 player that isn't really video friendly. I get attitude from him and computer stuff is first to go. Then I have to listen to him talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. About the games usually. This is my youngest about Legos... oy.... I've tried to find a way to nicely say "I don't really care" but I'm afraid he might get his feelings hurt.. so i smile and nod as he goes on and on and on about whatever it is he has built... I've given up the whole trying to say it nicely, I will just straight up tell him I don't care Especially if he's being rude and talking over someone or sees I'm reading and starts talking anyway.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 8, 2014 16:28:01 GMT -5
Games. Lots and lots of games. Or worse. Watching videos of people playing games. That really bugs me. He only half-assed is listening to me if he is on that thing (usually he's wearing headphones). I get really annoyed when I have to tell him to do something 2 or 3 times and I keep getting the "in a minute" or "when this video is over". I don't understand watching people playing games either but my younger one does that a lot. :S I'm mean, he doesn't have a true ipod, he has an MP3 player that isn't really video friendly. I get attitude from him and computer stuff is first to go. Then I have to listen to him talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. About the games usually. Why is it that punishing the kid usually ends up being a punishment for me too?
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 8, 2014 16:30:21 GMT -5
I don't understand watching people playing games either but my younger one does that a lot. :S I'm mean, he doesn't have a true ipod, he has an MP3 player that isn't really video friendly. I get attitude from him and computer stuff is first to go. Then I have to listen to him talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. About the games usually. Why is it that punishing the kid usually ends up being a punishment for me too? Because God has a sense of humor?
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Aug 8, 2014 17:11:47 GMT -5
Why is it that punishing the kid usually ends up being a punishment for me too? Yup... we have found that grounding the boys means they are home with us complaining abuot how bored they are and driving us crazy... That's when I grab DD's toothbrush and tell her to start scrubbing floors. She usually finds something to keep herself occupied pretty quickly.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 8, 2014 17:49:43 GMT -5
Why is it that punishing the kid usually ends up being a punishment for me too? Yup... we have found that grounding the boys means they are home with us complaining abuot how bored they are and driving us crazy... We put our kids in what I call "solitary confinement." They are up in their rooms (the first two are different genders). I tell them if I hear them, or they complain, the punishment goes longer. They aren't allowed to keep electronics in their rooms. They are allowed to get out to go to the bathroom and for meals. And, if I'm , they eat one at a time. I have found that when they are in their rooms, I get quite a nice break, actually.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Aug 8, 2014 17:55:34 GMT -5
I leave the 10 yo and 6 yo in a car alone while I drop off the 2 yo at daycare.
My 2 yo doesn't like the idea of being separated from her little posse. She really does enjoy her daycare experience, it's just the separation.
Bringing her sibs in with her would make it 10x worse.
Otherwise, the only time I leave the kids alone in the car is if I drop library materials off, and the drop box is on the outside of the building.
I've gotten to the point where I am too paranoid about someone else calling the cops on me.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 8, 2014 19:26:48 GMT -5
If it wasn't for the "concern" public, I would be very comfortable leaving my 6 yr old in the car. I KNOW he wouldn't do anything he is not suppose to.
My other two? My guess is I'll be waiting until they get their own cars.....
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Aug 8, 2014 19:31:07 GMT -5
If your state has a minimum age where children can be left at home unattended, then I think that would apply here. Otherwise I would say a child that is no longer in a carseat that can get themselves out of the car would be ok for a parent to leave there, obviously provided that particular child would be capable of handling themselves well until mom or dad returned. Not sure I would leave the keys unless there was a licensed driver in the car but I come from a not so great area where running cars are great targets, children or not. Now I do leave Aly in the car at times when I am in full sight of the car (walk up ATM, dropping something off at a friend's house, putting something in the mailbox, return a cart after shopping). Or I've buckled her in the car in the garage and then needed to run back into the house to grab something quickly (car not running). I can only imagine that will happen more often with two children to juggle. I don't think that really counts as leaving them unattended in this situation though. My 3 yr old can get himself out of the car seat and the car faster than I can say his name. And if there is a slight chance that he can't - his BFF, my 4 yr old, is right there to help him. As a matter of fact, DS3 doesn't even call me for help anymore, he mostly gets his BFF
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Aug 9, 2014 5:16:35 GMT -5
A child can be left in your car alone at the same age they can be left in your home alone. Never.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 7:23:00 GMT -5
A child can be left in your car alone at the same age they can be left in your home alone. Never. Never? LOL You definitely don't have kids.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Aug 9, 2014 8:53:54 GMT -5
Depends on the season. I wouldn't leave my fully capable husband in a car that was not on in the hot-hot summer or during a blizzard. I haven't ever left my kids in the car because we live in a mixed area. There aren't beggars in every parking lot, but they could be in any parking lot. Usually the ones who will talk with you and ask for money aren't the crazy ones that would do something unpredictable, but my kids don't want to deal with some homeless dude asking them for money.
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 9, 2014 9:54:01 GMT -5
I will leave my 14 & 16 yo in the car for a few minutes to go into the bank or something. But I will leave the heater/AC running amd they lock the door when I get out. I think this has only started in the last couple of years or so.
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Aug 9, 2014 19:49:08 GMT -5
Weird, I would never leave my kids in the car if it was running, I'd be too paranoid someone would put it in gear (accidentally or intentionally). If it is too hot or cold to stay in the car, you come inside, period, but that is only a few extreme days per year. And I usually would lock doors only if there was no one staying behind in the car AND there was something valuable that could be worth stealing, and we were somewhere I wasn't sure about (out of town, in the 'burbs, etc.)
I'm not sure about age, I've always got multiple kids and possibly DH with me, and generally I prefer to leave everyone in the car while I shop, it's much faster that way. If they do come in with me, they often wander off on their own anyways. We live in a pretty small town where everyone knows everybody else, so YMMV.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 19:54:07 GMT -5
Yup... we have found that grounding the boys means they are home with us complaining abuot how bored they are and driving us crazy... That's when I grab DD's toothbrush and tell her to start scrubbing floors. She usually finds something to keep herself occupied pretty quickly. That's exactly what my mom would do when she'd catch us fighting. "Obviously, you kids are bored?" There was no getting sent to our rooms. Only work.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 9, 2014 20:03:33 GMT -5
I don't understand watching people playing games either but my younger one does that a lot. :S I'm mean, he doesn't have a true ipod, he has an MP3 player that isn't really video friendly. I get attitude from him and computer stuff is first to go. Then I have to listen to him talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. and talk. About the games usually. This is my youngest about Legos... oy.... I've tried to find a way to nicely say "I don't really care" but I'm afraid he might get his feelings hurt.. so i smile and nod as he goes on and on and on about whatever it is he has built... My son, the 53-year-old engineer, does the same thing.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 9, 2014 20:34:40 GMT -5
This is what our youngest GS does, but that's okay. At least he's talking to me and I try to listen, like I know what he's talking about.
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truthbound
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Post by truthbound on Aug 10, 2014 5:29:04 GMT -5
A child can be left in your car alone at the same age they can be left in your home alone. Never. Never? LOL You definitely don't have kids. You don't definitely know what I have...................lol.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 10, 2014 7:29:55 GMT -5
Never? LOL You definitely don't have kids. You don't definitely know what I have...................lol. Well, if you do. I feel sorry for them. It's going to be rough heading off to college if that's the first time they've ever been left alone....ever.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 8:19:43 GMT -5
I will leave my 14 & 16 yo in the car for a few minutes to go into the bank or something. But I will leave the heater/AC running amd they lock the door when I get out. I think this has only started in the last couple of years or so. isn't your 16 year old driving? is she allowed to be in the car then? LOL
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 8:20:08 GMT -5
A child can be left in your car alone at the same age they can be left in your home alone. Never. I can't leave my 20, almost 21, year old home alone?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 8:21:34 GMT -5
You don't definitely know what I have...................lol. Well, if you do. I feel sorry for them. It's going to be rough heading off to college if that's the first time they've ever been left alone....ever. well based on his post, I don't think his kids can be left alone at college - a parent would have to go to class with them.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Aug 11, 2014 9:35:45 GMT -5
Well, if you do. I feel sorry for them. It's going to be rough heading off to college if that's the first time they've ever been left alone....ever. well based on his post, I don't think his kids can be left alone at college - a parent would have to go to class with them. OMG, I went to a small private religious college where I actually had some freshmen that would call to ask for permission before going to Walmart on their own. They lived an hour away from their parents!!!
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andi9899
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Post by andi9899 on Aug 11, 2014 12:29:02 GMT -5
I will leave my 14 & 16 yo in the car for a few minutes to go into the bank or something. But I will leave the heater/AC running amd they lock the door when I get out. I think this has only started in the last couple of years or so. isn't your 16 year old driving? is she allowed to be in the car then? LOL Yeah right. I have been on her forever to get a license. She just recently went and got her permit the other day. I guess she finally got tired of hearing my crap.
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