Why only ask women?

[Wisconsin Beth]

I've been thinking about this since I read the article on Slate yesterday www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/07/one_key_question_health_care_providers_should_ask_women_would_you_like_to.html

The Oregon initiative, called One Key Question, aims to make sure that during each medical visit, a woman of reproductive age is asked: “Would you like to become pregnant in the next year?”

The answer triggers a doctor-patient discussion that will keep women healthier, help eliminate health disparities, and save taxpayer dollars.

Shouldn't men be asked this question yearly too?  I'm not trying to take away from women but really - this should be a topic at everyone's yearly physical.  Guys have fertility issues too.  And maybe having this discussion with their doctors would lead more men to have vasectomies or at least consider them. 

And we've got 2 kids, both had over 35, so trust me, I get the women's end of a pregnancy. 

[thyme4change]

Every pregnant woman needs good prenatal care.  There are things you should do ahead of time, and there are health issues that can be addressed.  For the most part, the health of the man is irrelevant, except if there are fertility issues.  They don't need vitamins, they don't need their ruebella vaccine, they don't need to avoid drinking for 9 months, their weight isn't likely to cause a bed-rest situation.  If women have an eating disorder, or an addiction to drugs/alcohol, or anything else that will cause birth defects, catching it pre-pregnancy would be so helpful.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I get that Thyme. 

I guess I'm thinking long term - that the more discussion men have about possible future children, the easier discussions on birth control (including getting snipped) will be for everyone.  I'm not a guy so I don't understand the whole "cringing at getting snipped" thing that always seems to pop up as stereotypical of men. 

[thyme4change]

I can't imagine how a doctor asking you about plans for children when you are 22 would make a vasectomy at 34 seem like a good idea.  Plus, that is a pretty invasive law - to require a doctor to ask about personal plans, so later the wife has an easier time with a conversation about birth control.

Babies born with severe health issues are a public policy problem.  They cost a lot of money.  Even "difficult preganancies" can get expensive for our collective.  I bet we all know a person that has had a million dollars of medical intervention - courtesy of the insurance carrier, who spread that cost around in our premiums.  Not that we can eliminate those problems, but if we can reduce them through better healthcare it would benefit everyone.


I guess you could make the argument that Dads who are out there having babies all over the place and should have had a vasectomy are costing us - but I doubt that the ones who would come around to vasectomies are the biggest financial burden to our system.   

[sesfw]

"cringing at getting snipped"

From what I've heard men don't like anyone messing around their private parts.  Especially with scissors. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Jul 9, 2014 13:33:02 GMT -5 sesfw said:

"cringing at getting snipped"

From what I've heard men don't like anyone messing around their private parts.  Especially with scissors. 

We must know different men.  Men love their private parts messed with except with scissors or any sharp objects.  But mine did it any way.  He said it was his turn to help with birth control when I went off the pill.

Beth, I get your point but I agree with Thyme. 

[busymom]

I think just in general that a healthier man produces healthier babies.  So, asking tough questions is A-OK with me.

Which would you rather have for the father of your child? Someone struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction, an eating disorder, etc, or a reasonably healthy man? (Not to mention, they set a better example for the child.)   And yes, my DH DID get snipped, & he survived...

[Tennesseer]

Asking men “Would you like to become pregnant in the next year?” if nothing else is a good reminder to men if they don't want to become a father next year, use protection.

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2014 8:32:35 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

I can't imagine how a doctor asking you about plans for children when you are 22 would make a vasectomy at 34 seem like a good idea.  Plus, that is a pretty invasive law - to require a doctor to ask about personal plans, so later the wife has an easier time with a conversation about birth control.

Babies born with severe health issues are a public policy problem.  They cost a lot of money.  Even "difficult preganancies" can get expensive for our collective.  I bet we all know a person that has had a million dollars of medical intervention - courtesy of the insurance carrier, who spread that cost around in our premiums.  Not that we can eliminate those problems, but if we can reduce them through better healthcare it would benefit everyone.


I guess you could make the argument that Dads who are out there having babies all over the place and should have had a vasectomy are costing us - but I doubt that the ones who would come around to vasectomies are the biggest financial burden to our system.   

Off-topic.... Today a coworker and I were talking about health insurance. Her pregnancy cost almost half a million dollars. She was on her husband's insurance at the time. His employer is small and most of the employees are men. Apparently a lot of wives had babies around the same time my coworker did. The following year, the employer dropped coverage for spouses.

I think doctors also ask women whether or not they plan to get pregnant soon so they can discuss birth control options that you need a prescription or doctor for if needed.

[zibazinski]

I'm thinking its because very few men even think about having kids in other than a general way until their SO decides for them. They don't have bio clocks, they don't worry about getting pregnant. Stuff like that.

[whoisjohngalt]

Thank G-d my husband wasn't asked that question.  He already was a huge control-freak about what I should have been doing or not doing, eating, not eating when I was preganant - if he had any advance notice of all that info - we wouldn't have had 3 kids - I would have been in jail for killing him in his sleep way before any pregnancy ever happened.

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2014 13:33:02 GMT -5 sesfw said:

"cringing at getting snipped"

From what I've heard men don't like anyone messing around their private parts.  Especially with scissors. 

You have heard correctly!

ETA: assuming it's not the "fun" kind of "messing around" you were referring to 

Scissors, scalpels, razors, needles... we generally like to avoid those things being within a foot or two of that area

[Deleted]

Jul 9, 2014 8:06:58 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I've been thinking about this since I read the article on Slate yesterday www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/07/one_key_question_health_care_providers_should_ask_women_would_you_like_to.html

The Oregon initiative, called One Key Question, aims to make sure that during each medical visit, a woman of reproductive age is asked: “Would you like to become pregnant in the next year?”

The answer triggers a doctor-patient discussion that will keep women healthier, help eliminate health disparities, and save taxpayer dollars.

Shouldn't men be asked this question yearly too?  I'm not trying to take away from women but really - this should be a topic at everyone's yearly physical.  Guys have fertility issues too.  And maybe having this discussion with their doctors would lead more men to have vasectomies or at least consider them. 

And we've got 2 kids, both had over 35, so trust me, I get the women's end of a pregnancy. 

Men are not the ones getting pregnant (as far as I know anyway!)... so I think that's a safe question to generally only ask women.

Asking this of men would be like asking women if they are having trouble getting and maintaining erections.


Some questions only really pertain to specific genders.

[achelois]

Jul 9, 2014 8:24:59 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I get that Thyme. 

I guess I'm thinking long term - that the more discussion men have about possible future children, the easier discussions on birth control (including getting snipped) will be for everyone.  I'm not a guy so I don't understand the whole "cringing at getting snipped" thing that always seems to pop up as stereotypical of men. 

While vasectomies can, in most cases, be done in a doctor's office, I used to do the anesthesia for a number of them (sedation) because of the "cringing" element. Once I got a little sedation into them, a surprising number of the guys expressed a fear that "it" wouldn't work anymore afterward. I would say at least half of the guys who came into the OR for the procedure expressed this concern. 

Not  sure where that fear came from--inadequate pre-op discussion, ignorance of anatomy/physiology, or just because someone was messing around "down there". 

[justme]

I think in the forth coming years, research might point to asking the males the question too. There's research coming out that men have a biological clock of sorts - the older they are they are to have kids with issues. I want to say one had a correlation with either Autism or ADHD that pointed to sperm aging similar to how eggs do. So guys might be getting the "after age 35 your risk for X, Y, and Z goes up even if your wife is 20" talk. 

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 17:10:45 GMT -5 achelois said:

Jul 9, 2014 8:24:59 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

I get that Thyme. 

I guess I'm thinking long term - that the more discussion men have about possible future children, the easier discussions on birth control (including getting snipped) will be for everyone.  I'm not a guy so I don't understand the whole "cringing at getting snipped" thing that always seems to pop up as stereotypical of men. 

While vasectomies can, in most cases, be done in a doctor's office, I used to do the anesthesia for a number of them (sedation) because of the "cringing" element. Once I got a little sedation into them, a surprising number of the guys expressed a fear that "it" wouldn't work anymore afterward. I would say at least half of the guys who came into the OR for the procedure expressed this concern. 

Not  sure where that fear came from--inadequate pre-op discussion, ignorance of anatomy/physiology, or just because someone was messing around "down there". 

I can pretty much guarantee it was the bolded.

As a general rule of thumb, guys don't like ANY "messing around down there" that isn't "fun" related (and I don't mean they'll get to have "fun" later because of it... I mean "fun" right then and there!).

Guys can be pretty protective of "the boys".

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 17:20:01 GMT -5 justme said:

I think in the forth coming years, research might point to asking the males the question too. There's research coming out that men have a biological clock of sorts - the older they are they are to have kids with issues. I want to say one had a correlation with either Autism or ADHD that pointed to sperm aging similar to how eggs do. So guys might be getting the "after age 35 your risk for X, Y, and Z goes up even if your wife is 20" talk. 

Sperm don't age the way eggs do though. Sperm are continually produced throughout the life of the male, whereas that's not the case with females.

All a man has to do to get a completely "fresh made" batch is fire off a few "rounds" from his "personal cannon" (how he does this is entirely up to him and/or a willing partner).

Now, the testicles, on the other hand, after a certain age they could begin producing inferior sperm... but that's a whole different argument than "sperm age".

[justme]

Jul 23, 2014 19:00:47 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Jul 23, 2014 17:20:01 GMT -5 justme said:

I think in the forth coming years, research might point to asking the males the question too. There's research coming out that men have a biological clock of sorts - the older they are they are to have kids with issues. I want to say one had a correlation with either Autism or ADHD that pointed to sperm aging similar to how eggs do. So guys might be getting the "after age 35 your risk for X, Y, and Z goes up even if your wife is 20" talk. 

Sperm don't age the way eggs do though. Sperm are continually produced throughout the life of the male, whereas that's not the case with females.

All a man has to do to get a completely "fresh made" batch is fire off a few "rounds" from his "personal cannon" (how he does this is entirely up to him and/or a willing partner).

Now, the testicles, on the other hand, after a certain age they could begin producing inferior sperm... but that's a whole different argument than "sperm age".

I suppose if you want to get technical, I wasn't focused on being technical.   Though the end result seems to be is the sperm getting mutations as you age just like eggs do. 

[achelois]

Jul 23, 2014 18:54:34 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

Jul 23, 2014 17:10:45 GMT -5 achelois said:

While vasectomies can, in most cases, be done in a doctor's office, I used to do the anesthesia for a number of them (sedation) because of the "cringing" element. Once I got a little sedation into them, a surprising number of the guys expressed a fear that "it" wouldn't work anymore afterward. I would say at least half of the guys who came into the OR for the procedure expressed this concern. 

Not  sure where that fear came from--inadequate pre-op discussion, ignorance of anatomy/physiology, or just because someone was messing around "down there". 

I can pretty much guarantee it was the bolded.

As a general rule of thumb, guys don't like ANY "messing around down there" that isn't "fun" related (and I don't mean they'll get to have "fun" later because of it... I mean "fun" right then and there!).

Guys can be pretty protective of "the boys".

No. I meant the fear that it would not work after the vasectomy. These guys were afraid they would not be able to have sex again after the vasectomy. That the vasectomy would cause permanent impairment. I cannot understand why they would think that. 

[zibazinski]

What planet do they live on? They know no man whatsoever that has ever had a vasectomy? I wouldn't have sex or reproduce with someone that stupid.

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I'm guessing that TD has never gotten asked as to whether he was worried about his domestic partner harming him.  Yet I've been asked this question most times I've gone to the doctor.

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 20:16:16 GMT -5 achelois said:

Jul 23, 2014 18:54:34 GMT -5 @richardintn said:

I can pretty much guarantee it was the bolded.

As a general rule of thumb, guys don't like ANY "messing around down there" that isn't "fun" related (and I don't mean they'll get to have "fun" later because of it... I mean "fun" right then and there!).

Guys can be pretty protective of "the boys".

No. I meant the fear that it would not work after the vasectomy. These guys were afraid they would not be able to have sex again after the vasectomy. 

I understood that to be what you meant, and, as I stated, guys don't like people messing around "down there" EXCEPT for "fun". Having a vasectomy is definitely NOT in the list of "fun" things.

Fear of non-functionality is one of those reasons for guys not liking it.

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 20:17:59 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

What planet do they live on? They know no man whatsoever that has ever had a vasectomy? I wouldn't have sex or reproduce with someone that stupid.

You'd be surprised at the number of men that don't know anyone (or at least doesn't know that they do) that has. I don't know anyone that I KNOW has had one (if they have they never told me about it).

[achelois]

But it has no effect on ability to function. Why do they think it does?


I guess guys must not talk about this amongst each other much?

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 20:23:49 GMT -5 achelois said:

But it has no effect on ability to function. Why do they think it does?


I guess guys must not talk about this amongst each other much?

It's not really a conscious worry... more of a subconscious fear.

And it's not "it's a vasectomy" that they (we) fear "down there" it's "something other than fun time that involves sharp objects and pain in/near the fun zone"


ETA: And yes, you would be right. vasectomies are NOT something guys talk about a lot. Usually we limit discussion (if we have any at all) to how much use we are getting out of "the twig and giggle berries"*... not how we have limited their function... painfully.




*two points for anyone that can name that reference 

[justme]

Enter the crux of why men don't have kids. If they had all that going on in the fun zone, it would not see another fun time and the world would be filled with single child families.  

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

@richardintn - vasectomies require little more than a local anesthetic, a short procedure time (usually about 30 minutes max) performed in the doctor's office (no hospitalization), then *maybe* a couple of days of discomfort/recovery. There is also a procedure known as a "no scalpel" vasectomy.

FAR less invasive than a woman going through a procedure that requires a hospital stay, general anesthesia, and surgery - followed by a hospital recovery time. It's also PERMANENT.

Vasectomies can be reversed almost as easily as they're performed.

[zibazinski]

Whoa there! They are not easily reversed and have a very small success ratio for those who do get them reversed.

[chiver78]

Jul 9, 2014 14:58:46 GMT -5 busymom said:

I think just in general that a healthier man produces healthier babies.  So, asking tough questions is A-OK with me.

Which would you rather have for the father of your child? Someone struggling with alcoholism, drug addiction, an eating disorder, etc, or a reasonably healthy man? (Not to mention, they set a better example for the child.)   And yes, my DH DID get snipped, & he survived...

both parents need to be healthy to produce healthy kids. I'm totally okay with pointed questions being asked of anybody intending to have children. my GP knows I don't want any, and her questions are all aimed at making sure *I* am healthy. her diligence with my own recent health adventures makes me think she'd be just as diligent about any possible baby-making I might pursue, were I inclined to do so.

[Deleted]

Jul 23, 2014 21:00:23 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

@richardintn - vasectomies require little more than a local anesthetic, a short procedure time (usually about 30 minutes max) performed in the doctor's office (no hospitalization), then *maybe* a couple of days of discomfort/recovery. There is also a procedure known as a "no scalpel" vasectomy.

FAR less invasive than a woman going through a procedure that requires a hospital stay, general anesthesia, and surgery - followed by a hospital recovery time. It's also PERMANENT.

Vasectomies can be reversed almost as easily as they're performed.

O.k. ... and?

I never said they were long drawn out surgeries... did I? Nope.
I never said they required complete unconsciousness... did I? Nope.
I never said they required a hospital Surgical Suite... did I? Nope.
I never said it wasn't less invasive than a woman having her tubes tied... did I? Nope.

I'm confused. You tagged me and then didn't comment on a single thing I actually said.