NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jul 1, 2014 15:01:48 GMT -5
If you tell her you're taking away her Elsa doll (them most recent favorite) she will say "I don't like her anymore anyway."
That's my kid.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jul 1, 2014 15:02:26 GMT -5
My niece doesn't think like that. The punishments and evolved. What worked last month doesn't always work this month. The iPad thing is consistent but other than that it's pretty fluid.
Swamp- I'm sorry- I have no other advice for you. I am realizing that I only know how to parent my kid (and in the manner I'm used to). I would be completely in over my head if they swapped my kid out with some other kid.
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on Jul 1, 2014 15:14:37 GMT -5
They'll regret it. Kids need regular meals, regular bedtimes.... and a structure in which to grow up safely, which is constructed by the parent. I'd let mine name the dog...or choose the DVD.. but the major stuff which effected their development was non negotiable. As they got in to their teens, they would get a bit more responsibility...but they weren't completely on their own until they reached the age of majority. ...and I had prepared them. Taught them to cook and clean....manage money...cope with lifes difficulties. When they left...they hit the ground running. Good education, mature, capable and full of promise. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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Spellbound454
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"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
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Post by Spellbound454 on Jul 1, 2014 15:23:07 GMT -5
Send her to her room? Keep a record of her behaviour to see how much pocket money she gets.
My daughter would be grounded for serious things....and not being able to see her friends was the worst thing ever.
Whatever it is....and it doesn't have to be a big sanction......make sure is consistent so she clearly knows where she is and what is expected.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on Jul 1, 2014 15:23:14 GMT -5
Lucky you, you got one of the difficult ones.
My sister had two daughters, the first sweet, well behaved and obedient; the second was one of those that always challenged everything, all the time. My mom tried to blame it on my sister's parenting, but sister was a good parent, and treated her kids the same way, but the oldest child was sweet and eager to please, the youngest would disagree loudly with you if you said the sky was blue.
The good news is both girls grew up fine, the second daughter actually has a very close relationship with her mom, and is a teacher now. It was just more of a challenge to get her to this point. Just stay calm and carry on!
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 1, 2014 15:23:35 GMT -5
If you tell her you're taking away her Elsa doll (them most recent favorite) she will say "I don't like her anymore anyway." That's my kid. I learned not to become attached to anything my parents could take away from me. My parents got down to library books before they gave up.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2014 15:26:05 GMT -5
You can show us video of her fits, her gramma, facebook? A different audience.
How old is she again?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2014 15:28:12 GMT -5
I also think you need to pick battles. Although I'm sure you do.
I have a friend with very difficult children, bright, immature. She argues about lots of stuff I wouldn't. And once you start, you have to follow through.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 1, 2014 15:30:06 GMT -5
You can show us video of her fits, her gramma, facebook? A different audience. How old is she again? 6. Im afraid if I put her fit on FB someone would call the cops or CPS on me. We we already got a CPS call a few years ago because she was carrying on so bad.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jul 1, 2014 15:30:54 GMT -5
I also think you need to pick battles. Although I'm sure you do. I have a friend with very difficult children, bright, immature. She argues about lots of stuff I wouldn't. And once you start, you have to follow through. I do pick my battles, otherwise everything would be a battle.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 1, 2014 15:46:07 GMT -5
Oh my. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/sad.png) 6. Yes, more emotion than she can handle and while bright most likely lacking the abstract reasoning skills necessary to fully understand the impact of her behavior. I'm sorry. I'm no help right now. I could buy you a drink! ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/martini.gif)
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Jul 2, 2014 11:30:41 GMT -5
You can show us video of her fits, her gramma, facebook? A different audience. How old is she again? 6. Im afraid if I put her fit on FB someone would call the cops or CPS on me. We we already got a CPS call a few years ago because she was carrying on so bad. 6! Now I am scared. DD is only 3 & I was really hoping we would get this under control before 5 for kindergarten. I have taken away food - not the whole meal, but if you start throwing food or flip your brother out of his chair during dinner, then you are obviously done eating & it is time for bed. This girl doesn't really care about anything either & I feel bad because often her brother gets punished along with her. If she is throwing a fit, then we can't go to the park or Mcdonalds or whereever & she laughs & he ends up sad. The only thing she cares about is her duck & the one time I took that away, she screamed at the top of her lungs for over an hour before she finally caved & apologized for hitting me. We were both in tears by the end of that & it sucks to listen to your child scream for that long. I just don't think I can do that again. In theory the next time will be better & shorter, but with her I just don't think so.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on Jul 2, 2014 14:11:40 GMT -5
You can show us video of her fits, her gramma, facebook? A different audience. How old is she again? 6. Im afraid if I put her fit on FB someone would call the cops or CPS on me. We we already got a CPS call a few years ago because she was carrying on so bad. We had the cops called on us when DD was little. I had totally forgotten that. She was normally a very obedient child but HATED her hair being brushed. So every morning when I was brushing her hair she would scream like someone was beating her to death. Well one spring morning she did it when we had the windows open. Well someone was walking their dog and called the cops because they were positive someone was being beaten to death in our house. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif)
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jul 2, 2014 16:15:48 GMT -5
Oh gosh, I'm glad I finally read this because I'm not the only one with a super sensitive kid. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) I keep trying stuff with him to get him to calm down and none of it works. One night he just started crying and I was like Ben, just tell me what is wrong, he just kept crying harder and harder. I kept asking what was wrong and asked him to take a deep breath and talk to me and he just cried harder.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 16:42:45 GMT -5
Sometimes they can't articulate it. Then I just like to mantra 'I'm here. I love you. You are safe. Life is good. Look at your.... Want to hold blank. Do you want a hug? Can I stroke your back? Do you want some water?" ...
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jul 2, 2014 16:59:35 GMT -5
Huh.. I must be the worst parent on the board. When my kids threw a fit like that they were put in their room, the door was closed, and they were told not to come out until they had themselves under control.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 17:00:46 GMT -5
When a sensitive kid is crying harder and harder and can't tell you what is wrong you isolate and punish them?
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jul 2, 2014 17:02:45 GMT -5
Some time alone to collect themselves is not punishment. It's what adults do when they need to get their shit together.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jul 2, 2014 17:04:14 GMT -5
When a sensitive kid is crying harder and harder and can't tell you what is wrong you isolate and punish them? Honestly, we've tried the whole, we're here for you and he just cries harder. If we send him to his room, he actually calms down.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 17:04:27 GMT -5
Oh, I think its fine to ask them if they want to be alone. I don't think that's what you said though.
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Angel!
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Post by Angel! on Jul 2, 2014 17:06:02 GMT -5
Oh gosh, I'm glad I finally read this because I'm not the only one with a super sensitive kid. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) I keep trying stuff with him to get him to calm down and none of it works. One night he just started crying and I was like Ben, just tell me what is wrong, he just kept crying harder and harder. I kept asking what was wrong and asked him to take a deep breath and talk to me and he just cried harder. I actually had this with DD last night. She told me she was scared, but I sent her to bed anyway...she says this almost every night & is her standard excuse to get out of bed 12 times in a row. Then I heard her crying for quite a while. Much longer than she would have just for being told to get back in bed, which also happens every night. Finally I went to talk to her & she starts sobbing about how scared she is & it took almost 10 minutes to calm her down to finally figure out what was scaring her. My son had talked earlier that day about bad guys kidnapping kids...she was terrified someone was going to take her when she was sleeping. Thanks DS1 ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 17:06:21 GMT -5
That's why I was suggesting less 'what's wrong?' And more just support, redirection, etc.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jul 2, 2014 17:07:32 GMT -5
MM - I don't like your post because of the overly emotional kid, but because I'm glad to know that maybe that is the right path if it seems to work with my kid. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) Maybe I'm not damaging him for life. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jul 2, 2014 17:09:43 GMT -5
You can't ask a kid anything when they're in the middle of a meltdown. I mean you can, obviously, but all you get in response is crying. How the hell are you supposed to interpret that? Are loud sobs and hiccups a yes or a no? Scream twice for no, and once for yes, I mean, there's just no talking to them until they get themselves somewhat under control.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 2, 2014 17:17:35 GMT -5
... Well I'm pretty sure I'm doing plenty of damage to my kids... ... We used to promise one month of paid therapy when they reached adulthood for each time we messed up as parents.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Jul 2, 2014 17:19:23 GMT -5
You can't ask a kid anything when they're in the middle of a meltdown. I mean you can, obviously, but all you get in response is crying. How the hell are you supposed to interpret that? Are loud sobs and hiccups a yes or a no? Scream twice for no, and once for yes,
I mean, there's just no talking to them until they get themselves somewhat under control. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rofl.gif) Knock three times on the ceiling - sorry but that just popped into my mind. OMG I am so glad mine is grown - I did let him live to reach 18 so it was all good from then on.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2014 17:27:41 GMT -5
That's why I was suggesting less 'what's wrong?' And more just support, redirection, etc. You're such a good SAHM.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2014 17:31:01 GMT -5
Actually, it's probably more the special education teacher in me.
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billisonboard
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Post by billisonboard on Jul 2, 2014 17:39:35 GMT -5
Actually, it's probably more the special education teacher in me. I had just stopped working in corrections education and was working with behavior disordered students when I started dating a woman with kids. The four year old told her grandmother she hated me. The grandmother asked with alarm, "Why?" The response, "He makes me mind. I don't like to mind." ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/grin.png)
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 2, 2014 18:19:43 GMT -5
Actually, it's probably more the special education teacher in me. That makes me understand you even better.
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