Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Jun 23, 2014 10:47:40 GMT -5
My approach depends on my kid. My oldest son simply is not college material. Despite years of browbeating, coaching , cajoling and teacher conferences, etc. academia is not and will never be his thing. Thus, pushing to attend college would be nonsensical. I DID take him to Tech Schools, trade schools, community college, and 2 yr programs to look at. He seriously considered the 2 yr nursing program and actually DID get accepted. However, in the meantime he started EMT classes and now has decided to become a Paramedic. That seems like a reasonable plan and that is what he is pursuing. My younger son is more academic and has plans to become an engineer. We will help him with his schooling. I dont' plan to pay for it all. We will steer him to a State School and certainly cost will be something to consider. I do NOT want him to graduate with a pile of debt. Same for DD.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 10:48:51 GMT -5
If I had a dime for every time I was told I am a horrible excuse for a parent because I won't do "anything" for my children to go college.. .I wouldn't have to worry about PLUS loans. Kind of like how I got called "cheap" for not being willing to pay six figures for whatever degree was my child's dream with no questions asked?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 10:53:01 GMT -5
Mine, too.
I'm trying to strike a balance between using that to motivate him to do well but also tempering it with not pinning all his hopes on that - it's a huge stretch goal. Good luck to our little nerdy guys.
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 10:54:35 GMT -5
If I had a dime for every time I was told I am a horrible excuse for a parent because I won't do "anything" for my children to go college.. .I wouldn't have to worry about PLUS loans. is all you're willing to do just to contribute what's in the 529? or are you willing to cash flow additional contributions towards tuition, fees, books, etc.?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:00:08 GMT -5
Mine, too.
I'm trying to strike a balance between using that to motivate him to do well but also tempering it with not pinning all his hopes on that - it's a huge stretch goal. Good luck to our little nerdy guys.
He's wanted to go to Mars since he was 6 and is keeping up on the plans for a manned mission. He's like an encyclopedia of knowledge on things space related. I still remember the look of awe on my college chemistry professor's face when DS was explaining what a nebula was to him (he was 3 at the time). I figure if he shoots for MIT and fails, he's still positioning himself better then if he didn't have that pie in the sky goal.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 23, 2014 11:00:49 GMT -5
is all you're willing to do just to contribute what's in the 529? or are you willing to cash flow additional contributions towards tuition, fees, books, etc.?
It'll depend because I can't predict what our finances are going to be that far out. I can't predict what college costs are going to be that far out. I'll also have another kid not that far behind the first one that I need to take into consideration when it comes to college costs.
We'll do what we can, but I'm a horrible person who believes in putting my financial health first. I've been paying attention to my grandparents and the toll they are taking on my parents and I know my parents financial situation and what that might cost me/my brother later down the line.
My goal is to stay as solvent as possible and if that means heaven forbid my kid has to pay for her own textbooks then it is what it is.
We'll do what we can at the time. Whatever we have available is what we'll have available. It'll be up to them to figure out how to make it all work.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:01:04 GMT -5
Mine, too.
I'm trying to strike a balance between using that to motivate him to do well but also tempering it with not pinning all his hopes on that - it's a huge stretch goal. Good luck to our little nerdy guys.
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that? Yes. It would be cheaper for him to go to MIT than our local college. It would be awesome.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:03:16 GMT -5
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that? Yes. It would be cheaper for him to go to MIT than our local college. It would be awesome. but I thought you said he was limited to only in-state schools and those with a reciprocal agreement for in-state tuition?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:07:41 GMT -5
Yes. It would be cheaper for him to go to MIT than our local college. It would be awesome. but I thought you said he was limited to only in-state schools and those with a reciprocal agreement for in-state tuition? No. I said I wouldn't pay out of state tuition rates. A free ride at an Ivy league school beats out in-state tuition.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 11:08:21 GMT -5
Kind of like how I got called "cheap" for not being willing to pay six figures for whatever degree was my child's dream with no questions asked? you got off rather easy considering the brow beating I've taken, and I said that quite deliberately to make a point - which continues to elude you. Can you all not just do what you want and what you see fit without "proving" to yourselves that my approach is "wrong"? You may or may not have taken a "brow beating" (I didn't see any consensus or brow beating but a wide variety of opinions and discussion much of it not directed at you at all.) If there was brow beating, I wasn't the one doing it and your "point" was a cheap shot at someone who was discussing exactly what you're recommending - describing how she's doing what she wants and what fits her family situation. If you'll read my posts on that thread, they have mostly asked questions and spoken about my own situation - not yours. So I am talking about doing what I want. I can't help it if you're insecure with your own choice and choose to interpret any comment other than "you go, girl - that's the best plan EVER!" as an attack.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 23, 2014 11:10:13 GMT -5
Kind of like how I got called "cheap" for not being willing to pay six figures for whatever degree was my child's dream with no questions asked? you got off rather easy considering the brow beating I've taken, and I said that quite deliberately to make a point - which continues to elude you. Can you all not just do what you want and what you see fit without "proving" to yourselves that my approach is "wrong"?Rukh - I read through all of both threads and didn't really see a brow beating, just some good but difficult questions and IMHO - some really good questions raised. You deliberately posted your thread in YM, and not even in YM off topic - just how did you expect people to react if not exactly how they did? You practically threw down the gauntlet and to claim your intention was anything else is either intellectually dishonest or you are not as smart as I thought you were. Let's see (paraphrasing) - "I'm letting DD go for a degree without a backup plan and, oh, btw I have no idea how she will pay for it after three semesters. I think this is a great idea and I'm so happy for her to have the chance I never had." IN YM, what did you expect to happen? Really? If you didn't want feedback why did you even post?
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 23, 2014 11:11:35 GMT -5
It's hard for me to say what I'll do - DD will be 7 months old Wednesday and her aptitude is limited to picking things up and putting them in her mouth. But she is ahead of all her milestones, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she will be a smart kid. I want her to have an easier life than DH and I did. I don't necessarily want to write a blank check so she can pursue a job she loves, but I would like her to at least find a path she likes. Life is too short to spend 1/3 of it in a job you hate. Unless DD wants to pursue a field in which she has absolutely no aptitude, or attend a for-profit school to get a degree she could get at the local CC for next to nothing, I probably won't put many restrictions on major, career path, etc. I would like her to maintain decent grades and stay out of trouble, regardless of major. If DD remains an only child, and we don't run into any extended unemployment/permanent disability in the next two decades, we should be able to finance* even a $200K school without much of a hit to our retirement. If we have another child, it may be more of a challenge. If we have a special needs child, it will be a huge obstacle (and this is one reason I'm leery about a #2). But a lot of the above depends on what kind of person DD becomes. If she's whiny, demanding, ungrateful, my desire to support her dreams will probably be much less than if she's appreciative and puts forth all her effort. *My other thought is to have DD take out as much in loans as she can, and then repay them upon her graduation as long as she's maintained decent grades.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 23, 2014 11:14:45 GMT -5
It's hard for me to say what I'll do - DD will be 7 months old Wednesday and her aptitude is limited to picking things up and putting them in her mouth. But she is ahead of all her milestones, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say that she will be a smart kid. I want her to have an easier life than DH and I did. I don't necessarily want to write a blank check so she can pursue a job she loves, but I would like her to at least find a path she likes. Life is too short to spend 1/3 of it in a job you hate. Unless DD wants to pursue a field in which she has absolutely no aptitude, or attend a for-profit school to get a degree she could get at the local CC for next to nothing, I probably won't put many restrictions on major, career path, etc. I would like her to maintain decent grades and stay out of trouble, regardless of major. If DD remains an only child, and we don't run into any extended unemployment/permanent disability in the next two decades, we should be able to finance* even a $200K school without much of a hit to our retirement. If we have another child, it may be more of a challenge. If we have a special needs child, it will be a huge obstacle (and this is one reason I'm leery about a #2). But a lot of the above depends on what kind of person DD becomes. If she's whiny, demanding, ungrateful, my desire to support her dreams will probably be much less than if she's appreciative and puts forth all her effort. *My other thought is to have DD take out as much in loans as she can, and then repay them upon her graduation as long as she's maintained decent grades. Like you DH and I will likely be able to comfortably fund an undergraduate degree. And while I want DD to have an easier time in college than I did I still want her to have the threat of paying off student loans as a motivator. If that makes me an evil mommy, then I own it 100% .
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 23, 2014 11:16:30 GMT -5
You may or may not have taken a "brow beating" (I didn't see any consensus or brow beating but a wide variety of opinions and discussion much of it not directed at you at all.) If there was brow beating, I wasn't the one doing it and your "point" was a cheap shot at someone who was discussing exactly what you're recommending - describing how she's doing what she wants and what fits her family situation. If you'll read my posts on that thread, they have mostly asked questions and spoken about my own situation - not yours. So I am talking about doing what I want. I can't help it if you're insecure with your own choice and choose to interpret any comment other than "you go, girl - that's the best plan EVER!" as an attack. So - comparing her choice of major with marrying an unemployed musician over twice her age was.....what? exactly? Geez, even I understood it as an extreme example to make a point, and not an analogy directly related to the choice under discussion.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:16:40 GMT -5
*My other thought is to have DD take out as much in loans as she can, and then repay them upon her graduation as long as she's maintained decent grades. I've thought about that too. We should be in subsidized loan territory, so for sure, he could take those, then I could pay them off with Roth money and have it never affect financial aid. I have these nightmares of him going 2-3 years, then quitting.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 11:17:06 GMT -5
You may or may not have taken a "brow beating" (I didn't see any consensus or brow beating but a wide variety of opinions and discussion much of it not directed at you at all.) If there was brow beating, I wasn't the one doing it and your "point" was a cheap shot at someone who was discussing exactly what you're recommending - describing how she's doing what she wants and what fits her family situation. If you'll read my posts on that thread, they have mostly asked questions and spoken about my own situation - not yours. So I am talking about doing what I want. I can't help it if you're insecure with your own choice and choose to interpret any comment other than "you go, girl - that's the best plan EVER!" as an attack. So - comparing her choice of major with marrying an unemployed musician over twice her age was.....what? exactly? I was very clear what that was and even posted to make sure it wasn't misinterpreted - it was a question to explore the idea of whether there are only two extremes of dealing with a child that has become an adult - totally accept and support no matter what or be completely dictatorial and cut off all ties if your will isn't done.
This exploration was a follow up to some of your posts that seemed to indicate that you felt totally accept and support was the only option and I was curious if that just related to college or other aspects of life and if there might be a middle ground. And I specifically stated that they were different situations and that this example was just to explore the support/deny topic.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Jun 23, 2014 11:20:02 GMT -5
Mine, too.
I'm trying to strike a balance between using that to motivate him to do well but also tempering it with not pinning all his hopes on that - it's a huge stretch goal. Good luck to our little nerdy guys.
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that? My former boss's daughter went to MIT. She was homeschooled until HS. She also didn't read until she was 8. My boss told me one day that he thought she would be "the dumb" one. I love this story. I find it to be a useful reminder that kids, can indeed, surprise us with their capabilities.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 23, 2014 11:26:21 GMT -5
Mine, too.
I'm trying to strike a balance between using that to motivate him to do well but also tempering it with not pinning all his hopes on that - it's a huge stretch goal. Good luck to our little nerdy guys.
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that? Only problem is that the living expenses of living in the Boston/Cambridge area are absurd. Even if tuition is paid, he could still easily graduate with $100K in loans.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 11:31:44 GMT -5
OK, from that other thread, here is everything I said... I'll highlight the clarification for you since you seem to be confusing me with someone else.
RUKH: When exactly do you step back and let them take over the steering? Now 18 is too young for that? Certainly then - we should not let an 18 yo sign up for the military without parent intervention, investigation and approval. Or marry.
MILEE (post 68 - my first post in the thread): It is tough to figure out when to guide, when to stay out of it entirely and when to do a hybrid approach. Along the lines you're mentioning here, if DD comes home in a couple of months at 18, gushes that she's met the love of her life - a 37 year old unemployed musician - and wants you to give her $10k for the wedding, would you have the same approach?
BTW, I don't know the answer here. Just curious. Everybody's kids and parenting approaches are different and it's interesting to see how different people approach and view things. Good luck to your DD.
SINGLEMOMINMD: however, Rukh's DD didn't ask her to give her money, Rukh offered, so not quite the same as her coming home and asking for money for a wedding.
MILEE (post 91): OK, I'll amend the question, then.
Assume you've been saving funds to pay for a part of your daughter's wedding, similar to how you've been saving funds to pay for a part of your daughter's college. You plan to gift your daughter $10k for her wedding. At age 18, your daughter introduces you to the love of her life - a 37 year old unemployed musician - and invites you to their wedding, which will take place in 2 months. Do you gift the money you've been saving for the wedding since she's 18 and an adult following her dream of marrying her soul mate?
MILEE (post 92): The question isn't meant to imply that getting an art degree is the same thing as an 18 year old marrying someone 19 years older who doesn't appear to be self-supporting. They're different situations. The question was meant to examine the idea that there are only two possible choices - (1) accept all decisions unconditionally with no questions asked and giving full monetary support or (2) call your child an idiot and disown her before she disgraces the family with her failure.
Like some of the others on here, I'm always interested in listening to others' experience with kids and college, since mine are rapidly approaching that age. I'm hoping to find some middle ground and effective ideas. It seems ridiculous to pick a major for a child, kill dreams or try to impose authority on someone who is legally an adult. But it also doesn't make sense to hand over $100k+ without understanding the plan and evaluating if the plan makes sense, has a good chance to achieve desired results and that some risk analysis has been made. I'd hope there's something in the middle and am interested in how others deal in that middle ground.
RUKH: the assumption is that her degree program is as undesirable as creepy, pseudo-pedophile and I'm not playing that game. Why are you all so threatened by someone exploring a fine arts degree? So much so that you all think it is comparable to this loser scenario?
MILEE (post 104): No, not undesirable or creepy. Risky is what I was - probably clumsily - trying to portray.
I'm not at all threatened by someone exploring a fine arts degree. I love the arts, love to buy art, love to view art, love to watch art and my grandfather was an artist. He was a full time artist and the only time he had a "wage slave" type job was when he taught at a nationally recognized art school. I loved him very much, loved his art and am glad he was an artist. He lived a fascinating life but whenever he wasn't married to a wealthy woman, he also lived mostly in poverty. That was his choice and was good for him - he understood the trade offs fully. I know at 18 I didn't really understand what tradeoffs he made and would not have been able to make an intelligent choice about that without some more in depth guidance, discussion and advice - even though I had lived with him for a total of about a year and saw his life up close. There are just certain things I didn't know at that age. And if I had pursued a fine arts degree without my grandfather or another adult in my family helping me to explore the long term tradeoffs and understand them from an adult perspective, in my opinion that would have been a huge parenting fail on their part; not them letting me live a dream, but them not doing their job to guide me in the information gathering process.
If one of my children wanted to explore a fine arts degree, I'd love and support them and help them in many ways. I'm not sure I'd write out a six figure check for college in that scenario, but that's not the only form of support in our family.
RUKH: I'm having a hard time seeing anything risky here. I don't see this as being any less useful than a ba in eng or history - and in fact - I think she'd have many more options to choose from. There is no 6-figure anything going on. It is 80k tops, only 12-15k more than the ba in eng degree - and I've previously stated that this is the best quality/price ratio for us in terms of education. That is regardless of major.
You all keep saying I'm angry or defensive and I'm not - but apparently - continually correcting misperceptions is angry or defensive.
MILEE (post 116): OK, if your family has done the analysis and is comfortable, then it sounds like a reasonable plan. As I said before, I wish your daughter luck.
Just to point out, you keep using global terms - "you all", "everyone", "YM groupthink", etc. But if you look back, there hasn't been any consensus on the thread. I know I've not labeled you as angry or defensive, even though it appears you're attributing that to me by making that statement in your reply where you quote my post. You've received approximately as much unqualified support as you have outright negative judgments. The single largest pool of response has simply been questions - which you appear to be interpreting as criticism. There's no unified front of detractors here. And many of us are probing as much to gain information for ourselves as we are to understand your situation.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jun 23, 2014 11:33:12 GMT -5
And then you called me cheap.
Care to point out where I browbeat you? Or where I criticize your decision versus talk about what I would do...?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:37:16 GMT -5
actually, if MPL's DS can get into MIT, don't they offer free tuition for AGI below $60K or something like that? Only problem is that the living expenses of living in the Boston/Cambridge area are absurd. Even if tuition is paid, he could still easily graduate with $100K in loans. At my income, the grant would cover living expenses too. I put in all our info and with DS having 20K in a UGMA and me having 40K saved for school this is what the MIT calculator cranked out. Yeah, he gets in, he's going!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:39:18 GMT -5
why is transportation $0? is he never going to fly home?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 11:43:09 GMT -5
why is transportation $0? is he never going to fly home? I dunno. It didn't let you enter anything. That's just what it spit out automatically and it says the amount will be figured based on your permanent address when you actually apply for financial aid. Figure 3-4 times a year back and forth.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 23, 2014 12:12:01 GMT -5
I'll probably do something similar to what my parents did.
Basically, they paid for tuition and room and board. I was responsible for earning any spending money, and was expected to have a part time job in school, and pay for books and insurance and gas money and stuff like that.
Them paying for college wasn't dependent on grades or major. In fact, I got some pretty poor grades my Junior year, and they still kept paying, but they made it clear if I continued failing classes they'd pull me out. The whole major thing was never an issue. I was never really in a position where I had to choose between "do what you love" and "do what pays the bills." Because honestly, I don't really have any passions, so I chose what interested academically, which happened to be a STEM field (physics). So my parents never counseled me to pursue any other degrees. Hypothetically, I don't know. I'd probably counsel my kid to choose a marketable major, but if they had their heart set on music or something, I'd probably go ahead and pay for it, with the understanding I was not paying for them to back to school at a later time.
My parents have always adopted the stance that they'll help out and pay for stuff as long as I'm out there working hard and doing the right thing.
The only other thing they insisted on was I go to an in state school. They would only pay for the tuition at an in state public university. If I had chosen a private school or out of state school, I would have been responsible for the difference in cost.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 23, 2014 12:17:08 GMT -5
My guess is transportation costs are only for attending school not any other transportation costs so they should be zero for anyone living on campus unless its spread out and they need to pay for a bus or shuttles.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 12:27:24 GMT -5
My guess is transportation costs are only for attending school not any other transportation costs so they should be zero for anyone living on campus unless its spread out and they need to pay for a bus or shuttles. no, that's not what transportation costs are in the total cost of attendance calculation. they are the costs associated with getting to and from the college - out-of-state students most likely have higher costs than in-state students - that's the only 2 numbers they use.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 12:39:44 GMT -5
You may or may not have taken a "brow beating" (I didn't see any consensus or brow beating but a wide variety of opinions and discussion much of it not directed at you at all.) If there was brow beating, I wasn't the one doing it and your "point" was a cheap shot at someone who was discussing exactly what you're recommending - describing how she's doing what she wants and what fits her family situation. If you'll read my posts on that thread, they have mostly asked questions and spoken about my own situation - not yours. So I am talking about doing what I want. I can't help it if you're insecure with your own choice and choose to interpret any comment other than "you go, girl - that's the best plan EVER!" as an attack. So - comparing her choice of major with marrying an unemployed musician over twice her age was.....what? exactly? So totally NOT what she did.
She asked you, do you give a 17 year old unconditional support for all of her decisions, without question...
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Jun 23, 2014 12:41:33 GMT -5
Do you pay for college? How much? Monetarily? Percentage? We pay whatever his Guaranteed Student Loan does not cover I think his GSL (Unsubsidized) was 5500 last year and we paid $ $3957.29 in Fall and $4266.55 in spring and $2202.08 for one course this summer . Is payment dependent upon anything? Grades? Major? Having 'a plan'? Well No. His Major is Business. I would not object if he changes it and he probably will. I am relatively sure he will not choose underwater basketweaving. Do you give micromanage? Give guidance? Take a hands off approach? If you give guidance, do you guide them towards their 'dream'... towards the most marketable degree? If your family takes guidance well, more power to you. My kids are pretty independent. DH tries to MicroMange and when they don't listen, I get to listen to their lectures and he expects me to tell them whatever message he wishes to impart. I only take up his issues if I agree and I feel I will be heard. Do you suggest they 'do what you love' for work, or 'earn enough' to do what you love outside of work? These are questions I'm currently struggling with... What you've done, what your parents did, what you think you non-sensical aspirations for careers with dead end/low paying results. I have taken issue with DS's GF's chosen school. She is now looking at a well regarded private college, but she is not very smart, and the likely hood of graduation is low. I told her to stay with the technical school. She did not like my advice. I figure since she and DS have been together 4 years, he will end up paying off her student loans. WE pay for the car, gas, parking permits and Insurance. My whole family's annual auto insurance is $3,000 for 5 cars (4 drivers). We have 3 new cars and two older ones. DH would by DS a newer car, but the budet is not going to allow it right now. I don't think my kids would be in school if I did not pay the difference between the Student Loan and the Tuition Bill. I don't know what you do if your parents refuse to contribute. Tuition was much less when I was in school, and my employer paid $10,000 of my tuition (which amouted to about 2 years of tuition at a private college). Imho, employers do not have the open ended tuition re-imbusement policies companies offered in the 80's and early 90's anymore. I have steered my kids to live on campus at a state university, although I am going to have DD apply at a few Private Colleges (My Alma Matter and another well renouned one in the Milwaukee Metropolitan Area) - just to see what they might offer. If not my overly controlling DH told DD the only school she can go to is his Alma-Matter. It is a good choice for DD and it was on her shortlist, so I will not argue the point unless, DD applies and gets accepted somewhere else and chooses to go there. When My DB's kids reached college age, my DS-in-law, told their kids they had to stay in the state (or at least the Mid-west) I don't clearly remember, however I remeber DH and I thought it was hilarious, but now that my youngest is going to be a senior in HS, I want DD to stay in state too. Our finances and my kids grades won't make anything else possible, so we will see what happens in the next 6 months or so.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Jun 23, 2014 12:42:34 GMT -5
My guess is transportation costs are only for attending school not any other transportation costs so they should be zero for anyone living on campus unless its spread out and they need to pay for a bus or shuttles. no, that's not what transportation costs are in the total cost of attendance calculation. they are the costs associated with getting to and from the college - out-of-state students most likely have higher costs than in-state students - that's the only 2 numbers they use. Wow. So some colleges not only fund your education, they fund transportation to it as well?
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 22:21:39 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 12:46:26 GMT -5
In some ways, I predict Mid and maybe even Drama might have an easier go of this, because I really do think we are coming to a crux of higher education. I don't think people are going to continue to spend that kind of money on 'certain' kinds of experiences/preparation. I think we are about to see a move towards a much more skill oriented/apprenticeship and independent education (either self learning or self procured) etc. Think Abe Lincoln... study the law and then pass the bar and you are a lawyer type stuff. Learning is everywhere.
However, my kids are going to age before we get over the hump, so to speak... sigh. I'm just trying to decide how much time, $ and energy I want to encourage them to invest in this system, and in what manner.
I really thank everyone for their perspectives and stories, it is really giving me a lot to think about and helping to focus those thoughts. Keep them coming!
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