CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Jun 19, 2014 15:30:11 GMT -5
There but for the grace of God... Swamp, my mom had my brother and sister 12 months apart. None of us can remember anything that happened between 1991-1993 or so. For all I know, there is a fourth sibling still strapped into a car seat out there. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) MIL forgot DH existed most of the time.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 15:31:25 GMT -5
I disagree, especially if you have to leave the car running so the baby stays warm. If I were a baby snatcher, that's exactly the kind of attitude I'd be trying to encourage.
Again - just my opinion.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 19, 2014 15:33:48 GMT -5
I'm going to say that where people live has an impact too. It's rare that I can see my car when I park at a gas station and having a line isn't unusual. At our last home if both kids were asleep when I pulled up I'd carry the 4 year old to the front door and tell him to lay down on the couch and then go get the baby. I couldn't even leave her in our own driveway to carry the oldest to bed.
We are more helicopter-ish than I would like to be. There is a reason that mothers of toddlers are the most frequent drive thru customers though. Getting in and out of those car seats suck donkey balls and we avoid any extra trip.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 19, 2014 15:34:19 GMT -5
I'm not comfortable with it, but not because I could be arrested. Leaving kids in the car (not on hot days) is pretty commonplace around here. No one bats an eye. (Yelling at your kids that you're "going to beat [their] ass" in Wal-Mart is also pretty commonplace, but that's another thread.)
But DD is already 30"/20 lbs at 6 months old. At some point soon I am going to be physically unable to carry her and/or drag her into a store if she's throwing a tantrum. So I'm not going to say I'll never leave her in the car while I make a quick trip into the gas station, because my track record on "I never"s is about 0-300 right now.
But - on a hot day - any child/animal/creature in distress left in a car is fair game for me to call 911 and/or smash a window.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 19, 2014 15:34:29 GMT -5
I disagree, especially if you have to leave the car running so the baby stays warm. If I were a baby snatcher, that's exactly the kind of attitude I'd be trying to encourage. Again - just my opinion. I didn't leave the car running. I left a blanket around her in the site while she slept and ran up into my office and back quicker than I could have gotten her out of the car.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 15:35:02 GMT -5
I'm going to say that where people live has an impact too. It's rare that I can see my car when I park at a gas station and having a line isn't unusual. At our last home if both kids were asleep when I pulled up I'd carry the 4 year old to the front door and tell him to lay down on the couch and then go get the baby. I couldn't even leave her in our own driveway to carry the oldest to bed. We are more helicopter-ish than I would like to be. There is a reason that mothers of toddlers are the most frequent drive thru customers though. Getting in and out of those car seats suck donkey balls and we avoid any extra trip. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards Amen Sister.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 19, 2014 15:38:37 GMT -5
I'm going to say that where people live has an impact too. It's rare that I can see my car when I park at a gas station and having a line isn't unusual. At our last home if both kids were asleep when I pulled up I'd carry the 4 year old to the front door and tell him to lay down on the couch and then go get the baby. I couldn't even leave her in our own driveway to carry the oldest to bed. We are more helicopter-ish than I would like to be. There is a reason that mothers of toddlers are the most frequent drive thru customers though. Getting in and out of those car seats suck donkey balls and we avoid any extra trip. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards Exactly. I get why Firebird wouldn't leave her kid in the car - she lives in an urban area (grew up in an urban area) and it has a mild climate. I live in a relative rural area. We have winter (although not nearly as bad as some of the other people). But look at the people who are saying they would and have done it. Look at where they live and what they get for winter.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 15:41:36 GMT -5
Jeez Louise. Let me try this again.
1. I, personally, can totally understand and empathize with the impulse to leave a kid behind while you run a quick errand and I'm sure I'll be tempted to do so myself many times as Babybird becomes a Bigger Babybird.
2. I, personally, now feel a little more hesitation in doing so because of the increased risk of arrest.
3. I, personally, do not consider that extra hesitation to be a bad thing. Because it will make me a little more careful than I might have been otherwise.
4. I do not consider parents who disagree with me on this to be bad parents.
Also, I agree that the area where you live makes a big difference.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 15:46:01 GMT -5
Exactly. I get why Firebird wouldn't leave her kid in the car - she lives in an urban area (grew up in an urban area) and it has a mild climate.
That's an interesting point. I don't live in an urban area, I live in a SUBurban area. The chance of an actual crime is probably lower, while the chance of someone reporting on me is probably higher.
So I get what you're saying. For me, the chance that someone might report on me is higher than the chance that there's any actual danger. That definitely plays into my thinking. If you live in an area where the danger of something happening OR the danger of someone reporting on you is high (or both) then you're probably a lot less likely to do it. Whereas if both of those risk factors are low, you'll be more likely to do it.
Point taken.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 19, 2014 15:48:39 GMT -5
See I don't think the story of one person being arrested means that I'm more likely to be arrested on the off chance that I leave my kids in the car. Given the area that I live, the story doesn't make me more wary.
4. I do not consider parents who disagree with me on this to be bad parents
Well considering you said that you would immediately call the cops if you saw a baby in the car, apparently you do.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 15:49:55 GMT -5
YOu have to know your kids too. And having to decide on leaving a kid alone briefly isn't just a car thing either.
I took the kids to the Zoo. We have Zoo passes, we do this alot. Cabe, at age 4.5, still isn't sure if he likes the merry-go-round or not. First time we went on it, the 3 of us, he screamed bloody murder the entire time. Next trip, Keira wants to ride it. Cabe doesn't. I see 3 options: 1. no, we're not going on it (resulting in 1 happy kid and 1 unhappy kid); 2. we all go on it and Cabe screams though the entire thing again (results, no one near us is happy except Keira); 3. We all get on, I settle Keira on her choice of horse and get off with Cabe and we watch her ride and pray nothing goes wrong.
I've got big kids for their ages so riding alone physically wasn't an issue. Getting Keira to understand that if she wanted to ride, sometimes she's going to ride alone was more, um, interesting.
As I keep saying, sometimes all the options are not good ones. You just have to do the best you can.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 15:50:55 GMT -5
See I don't think the story of one person being arrested means that I'm more likely to be arrested on the off chance that I leave my kids in the car. Given the area that I live, the story doesn't make me more wary. 4. I do not consider parents who disagree with me on this to be bad parents Well considering you said that you would immediately call the cops if you saw a baby in the car, apparently you do. I think Firebird sees it as a safety issue, not a parenting issue at that point. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) ETA I don't want to put words in FB's mouth.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 15:51:24 GMT -5
Well considering you said that you would immediately call the cops if you saw a baby in the car, apparently you do.
Calling the cops because I see an unattended baby in the car is not a judgment on their parenting. It's what I would do because I couldn't live with myself if I just skipped away happily and didn't concern myself with the welfare of that kid. What if the parent DID forget the kid in the car and it's slowly suffocating? How the heck do I know how long it's been there? I don't care WHY the kid is in the car, I don't care if they meant to do it. I care about making sure that kid doesn't die because I couldn't be bothered. ETA: Thank you, Beth ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2014 15:56:01 GMT -5
Well considering you said that you would immediately call the cops if you saw a baby in the car, apparently you do.
Calling the cops because I see an unattended baby in the car is not a judgment on their parenting. It's what I would do because I couldn't live with myself if I just skipped away happily and didn't concern myself with the welfare of that kid. What if the parent DID forget the kid in the car and it's slowly suffocating? I don't care WHY the kid is in the car, I don't care if they meant to do it. I care about making sure that kid wasn't left there accidentally and is slowly suffocating. Bingo! And that is my take also, I am not going to hunt you down and confront you and lecture you on how to parent. I am just going to pick up my phone and dial 911, they are the authorities and they can handle it.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 19, 2014 15:56:45 GMT -5
Just wanting to point out that the odds of them suffocating in a car isn't high, or maybe even possible. Cars aren't air tight and like I said earlier I, as an adult, have napped in a closed up car for 2 hours and there was still plenty of air in there.
It's the heat that kills the kids in cars. They can't cool themselves like adults and bigger kids can (a mix of less skin surface and less sweat glands) so they can overheat really quickly which exacerbates the way cars internal temps can quickly and greatly exceed outside temps and once your internal temp reaches a terminal point it's death.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 15:58:34 GMT -5
ETA: Thank you, Beth ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png) You may want to rescind that. I'm kinda hoping you have twinbirds next time. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) (yeah, I'm passive agressive like that...)
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 19, 2014 16:01:32 GMT -5
There but for the grace of God... Swamp, my mom had my brother and sister 12 months apart. None of us can remember anything that happened between 1991-1993 or so. For all I know, there is a fourth sibling still strapped into a car seat out there. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) MIL has 1, then twins 11 months later, then one more 18 months later. I'm not entirely sure she ever recovered her sanity. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 16:02:35 GMT -5
There but for the grace of God... Swamp, my mom had my brother and sister 12 months apart. None of us can remember anything that happened between 1991-1993 or so. For all I know, there is a fourth sibling still strapped into a car seat out there. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/tongue2.png) MIL has 1, then twins 11 months later, then one more 18 months later. I'm not entirely sure she ever recovered her sanity. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) Dear Lord, I'd be dead. I hope your DH sends her flowers and stuff on more than just Mother's Day!
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 16:07:17 GMT -5
You may want to rescind that. I'm kinda hoping you have twinbirds next time.
Believe it or not, fear of that very thing is one of the reasons I'm so hesitant to get pregnant again. I know for absolute positive sure I don't want more than two children. I'm terrified I'll have twins next time.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 19, 2014 16:08:15 GMT -5
See I don't think the story of one person being arrested means that I'm more likely to be arrested on the off chance that I leave my kids in the car. Given the area that I live, the story doesn't make me more wary. 4. I do not consider parents who disagree with me on this to be bad parents Well considering you said that you would immediately call the cops if you saw a baby in the car, apparently you do. I think Firebird sees it as a safety issue, not a parenting issue at that point. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) ETA I don't want to put words in FB's mouth. But if it is a safety issue, then it is a safety issue a lot longer than just a baby. My 4 year old still can't get out of his car seat (still 5 pt harnessed). A kid that can get out is more likely to get in trouble (the kids with the lighters, for example). So, you think you might be seeing one of the on average 38 kids a year that die in the car? So you are going to call the cops? No matter what? I'm not heartless, but unless it is warm and sunny (not even hot), then why are you getting involved? Sure, it takes a village, but it also takes some common sense. Most of us are talking about leaving your kid when you run into a gas station, are you honestly telling me that you would call the cops if you saw a car at a gas station? The circumstances matter if it is dangerous. This isn't something like an open swimming pool and a child unattended where something happens in a split second.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 16:10:02 GMT -5
My Ob/gyn saw 2 sacs on Cabe's first u/s. No heartbeats though so we had to come back the next week to try to figure out what was going on. He got 1 heartbeat and 1 sac the next week so we knew my LMP was wrong.
ETA FB's quote because my comment seemed weird after Mutt's post.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2014 16:16:52 GMT -5
"Aren't the odds a lot greater of your kid dying or being injured in a car accident than a car being stolen with a kid inside or a kid being kidnapped? Yet no one calls the cops on your for driving your kids around."
I am only on page 2...But I wanted to comment on this. This is not a fair comparison. Driving, you do because you kind of have to (unless you want to walk everywhere). The other (leaving your kid in the car) you do not have to do that. It is about reducing risks. This comparison is apples to oranges I think.
The only time I leave my son in the car is to go to the ATM (the one close to me doesn't have a drive-through). I open the window and he is within 20 feet of my eye sight and the doors are locked. Any others I do not feel comfortable with (not even to run inside the gas station just to pay- if I didn't pay outside). I feel I may be inconvenienced a little bit at times but my thought is better safe than sorry. Saving 2 minutes (or 15 minutes) is not worth the risk.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 16:18:56 GMT -5
Most of us are talking about leaving your kid when you run into a gas station, are you honestly telling me that you would call the cops if you saw a car at a gas station?
Obviously not if it's next to a pump and there's a parent standing right there pumping the gas. If it was parked in front of the shop, though, you bet I'd call the cops. If you're really close enough that you can see your kid, then you should also be able to see me standing outside your car with my cell phone in hand and a very concerned look on my face. Come out quickly, tell me that you appreciate my concern but you could see your kid the entire time and I'll probably let it drop.
If you AREN'T close enough to see me and do those things, then again - how should I know how long you've been gone? Maybe you wanted to your kid and figured a gas station was a good place to do it. Maybe you got held up somehow. MAYBE YOU FORGOT YOUR KID WAS WITH YOU.
Again - it's not a judgment, it's just a safety thing. And you're right that non-baby kids are in danger too, but a) you're a lot less likely to forget your 5 year old is in the car with you than your baby (that danger being the main reason I would call if I saw an unattended baby), and b) at least older kids can understand statements like "Mommy will be right inside, I'll be back in five minutes, don't unlock the doors or play with anything except your iPad."
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 16:20:03 GMT -5
I think Firebird sees it as a safety issue, not a parenting issue at that point. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) ETA I don't want to put words in FB's mouth. But if it is a safety issue, then it is a safety issue a lot longer than just a baby. My 4 year old still can't get out of his car seat (still 5 pt harnessed). A kid that can get out is more likely to get in trouble (the kids with the lighters, for example). Which is why I keep harping on knowing your kid. My Cabe is all over the car when he can. The last time I left the ignition on while I was heading around the car to get him out of his seat, he got out of the seat and wiggled to the front seat to climb out my door. I literally yelled "CABE" at the top of my lungs. At 7am. About 5 feet from my parents new neighbor's windows. He stopped, I turned the car off and I have not ever since then left the car running while Cabe's in it. Keira, yes. Cabe, no. And I did apologize to the neighbors that afternoon. The adults hadn't heard me but the 10 year old had. He confirmed that I was loud.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 16:21:22 GMT -5
Now that I understand how easy it is to forget you have your baby in the car with you, I'm even more adamant that I would call the cops if I saw a baby in a car and no parent in sight. If I ever left Babybird in the car by accident, I would be on my knees thanking the person who called the cops to report that.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 19, 2014 16:21:44 GMT -5
Oh, for crying out loud. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) Pretty sure the parents wouldn't leave their car too if that was their plan.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 19, 2014 16:27:49 GMT -5
MIL has 1, then twins 11 months later, then one more 18 months later. I'm not entirely sure she ever recovered her sanity. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) Dear Lord, I'd be dead. I hope your DH sends her flowers and stuff on more than just Mother's Day! He's one of the twins, and it's a complicated history. But he does wish her a Happy Mother's Day so it's not too bad a relationship, right? ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png)
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 19, 2014 16:28:38 GMT -5
Oh, for crying out loud. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/rolleyes2.gif) Pretty sure the parents wouldn't leave their car too if that was their plan. The point is you just don't know. Are they running in for a quick purchase - or did they just score some crack and are in lala land and forgot about the kid? If you don't know - and the potential is there for harm - err on the side of caution. No, but trying to back up your point with a beyond far fetched and rather nonsensical point is just silly and detracts from whatever you're trying to say.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 19, 2014 16:30:38 GMT -5
Dear Lord, I'd be dead. I hope your DH sends her flowers and stuff on more than just Mother's Day! He's one of the twins, and it's a complicated history. But he does wish her a Happy Mother's Day so it's not too bad a relationship, right? ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/wink.png) Sorry, I sometimes forget that not everyone got relatively normal parents. And I'm out of here. See you tomorrow.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 19, 2014 16:31:21 GMT -5
The point is you just don't know. Are they running in for a quick purchase - or did they just score some crack and are in lala land and forgot about the kid?
It's funny that @tbird said this, because I was just about to say that I know a lot of people who work with drug addicts and/or criminals and some of the stories they tell about what addicts do are insane. Addicts do much weirder stuff than leaving their kids in the car to score and then wandering off.
I'm not saying that's the LIKELIEST scenario but again - I don't care why the kid is in the car and I'm not particularly interested in judging their parents. I'm going to assume that they were left there by accident and respond accordingly. Because that's not an uncommon thing, and I want to make sure the baby is safe.
Older kids are a bit of a judgment call. Babies, IMO, are not.
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