yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 25, 2014 12:33:49 GMT -5
It's all about tone, there are big differences betweeen these two statements
1. "I would never do x." 2. "I haven't done x and don't plan on doing x, but I'm capable of understanding how someone may be in a position to do x"
Statement 1 implies a very rigid stance, where there is a clear right and wrong, even if that was not the intention of that statement. 2 implies some compassion and openess to other thoughts/ideas.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2014 12:34:57 GMT -5
At 8 or 9, I would probably stay out of it, but I can think of a couple of exceptions - if they appeared to have fallen asleep and it was a really hot day, or if it was a really bad/dangerous neighborhood. I would more than likely get involved then, although I don't think I'd call the cops right off.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Jun 25, 2014 12:37:46 GMT -5
I'm assuming your dog is able to walk under his own power? Being around kids is not the same as being solely responsible for another life. How do you unequivocally know what you would do in a particular situation if you've never been in that situation? Your analogies don't apply. A doctor can treat cancer without having had it, but a doctor may not know what she would do if SHE had cancer until/unless she was diagnosed. An attorney may not know what he would do if he was charged with a crime until it actually happened. There was a similar discussion in the gun threads. One can think that if they hear an intruder, their first instinct will be to calmly aim and fire, but until they are in that situation, they don't know. Quite a few would probably freeze or panic instead. I saw that discussion in the gun thread. If a person intent on doing me harm doubted my word that I would immediately blow their heads off, they would be wrong, too. The decision to leave or not leave my child in the car is under my control. And I wouldn't do it. I totally understand if you want to doubt that. I doubt things people say all the time. I also get that we take risks all the time. Just getting in the car to take your child to the doctor is a risk. Some risks are acceptable; some are not. IMO. I don't expect anyone to agree with me. I just won't accept, without saying so, invalid arguments as to "why". You are going to continue to think that argument is valid. I'm going to continue to think it's crap. 17 pages more isn't going to change either of our minds!
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 25, 2014 12:46:15 GMT -5
But as a bystander it's not my job to assess the situation and try to determine the circumstances that lead to the kid being left in the car. The way I see it as a human being it is my duty to ensure that small children that can not speak up for themselves are protected.
This was my quote- I said this several days ago. Yup- I stand by that. I come across a baby in a car, unattended with no parent anywhere around I'm going to wait a couple of minutes and if no one comes back to the car I'm calling the cops. Yup that's what's happening. I'm going to use some common sense first. If it's in the middle of the freaking Walmart parking lot that's completely different from being parked next to the door at the gas station. If your necessary errand really is a minute or two than you would be back at your car before I even pulled my phone out of my purse so no harm no foul. My goal would not be to get a parent in trouble but to protect an innocent child.
I would like to encourage us all to end this debate now. We aren't going to agree and if things continue as they are people are gong to start getting offended (or more offended). All of the people posting here have a cordial relationship and have been posting back and forth for years. Some of us are even fb friends. I am going to gracefully back out of this debate now. Judging by how you all talk about your kids it's obvious that you love them. We just differ on this one item and I am going to just agree to disagree and move on. The ironic thing is that once it is clarified we would probably call the cops under the same circumstances. Earlier in the thread it sure didn't sound that way.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 25, 2014 12:53:46 GMT -5
Mutt- to me, "automatically" means without making any special effort to find the parent or figure out how much distress the kid is in. No waiting to see if someone comes back. A minute might pass before I call. Maybe I glance around, maybe I finish pumping my gas but if it's a baby THE VERY NEXT THING I DO is call the cops, even if the baby looks fine. No assessment or searching for the parents or waiting.
Maybe you thought "automatically" meant "before I take my next breath" but what I really meant was that it would be the next deliberate action I took (as opposed to any attempt to find the parents or figure out how much danger the baby is in).
I offer this only for clarification of what *I* meant by that word.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 25, 2014 13:12:46 GMT -5
Firebird - It may have been because people asked what is the harm in waiting a minute, and there was a lot of negative feedback to that and now people are saying that they would wait a minute or two. Obviously there was a different idea as to what people meant.
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 25, 2014 13:18:00 GMT -5
Well I have no skin in this argument but want to say the discussions have been very civil. Bravo ladies!
Can I jump in and ask (and sorry if this has already been discussed) what would you do if you saw someone who wasn't properly using car seats for the kids?
We had this situation a few years back at DD's daycare. We were on the same pickup schedule as another mom who would come to pick up her three kids (all under 6-7) and get into a car with her friend/sister? who had another two small kids. Sometimes it would be one adult that would leave the small kids in the car along when they went into the daycare.
Not.one.single.carseat.
Five kids all crammed into the backseat without even enough seatbelts for everyone.
DH and I finally reported them to the daycare. We stopped seeing them after a few weeks so don't know what ultimately happened.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jun 25, 2014 13:21:58 GMT -5
If I could do it anonymously I'd report it. If it's at daycare I'd tell the teachers, or the school I'd tell the principal. I might scribble down a license plate and call the police to report someone is driving without a car seat. Whether or not that would result in anything IDK.
Not sure if I would confront someone over it. It might make me an uncaring coward in the eyes of some people but with people getting shot over texting in movie theatres I'm rather cautious about pissing off strangers. The principal of the thing isn't worth potentially leaving my husband a widower.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2014 13:25:53 GMT -5
If any of you want to feel like better parents I'll volunteer to be the supreme sucky one. I leave my kids in the car, let them ride bikes all over unattended, even after dark. They ride on tractors and other farm equipment. They play tag with 1000 pound animals. I turned them front facing at one year. I don't always make sure their hands are washed before eating when they come in from outside playing, (heck I never stopped them from eating crap off the floor half the time). I let the 11 year old mow lawn. When I go out to do barn chores half the time the 4 year old stays in the house playing in his room or watching Sesame Street. They have a gecko, but with all the raw cookie dough they eat they must be immune to salmonella. I don't sit by youngest the entire time he's in the tub. I don't take them into the ladies room after age 5 or 6. I feed them McDonalds food. My 11 year old is home alone right now while I"m at work.
None of this stuff bothers me. If that makes me a bad mom whatever. They seem to be doing ok and neither one of them is ever going to cook in a car from me leaving them.
I'm more worried about them being video slugs. I have one TV in my house and it is almost never on when they're awake. My son has an ipod a cell phone and a DS, but at 8pm all electronics (minus the kindle) have to be on the kitchen counter.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 25, 2014 13:35:09 GMT -5
I leave my kids in the car, let them ride bikes all over unattended, even after dark. They ride on tractors and other farm equipment. They play tag with 1000 pound animals. I turned them front facing at one year. I don't always make sure their hands are washed before eating when they come in from outside playing, (heck I never stopped them from eating crap off the floor half the time). I let the 11 year old mow lawn. When I go out to do barn chores half the time the 4 year old stays in the house playing in his room or watching Sesame Street. They have a gecko, but with all the raw cookie dough they eat they must be immune to salmonella. I don't sit by youngest the entire time he's in the tub. I don't take them into the ladies room after age 5 or 6. I feed them McDonalds food. My 11 year old is home alone right now while I"m at work. This sounds like a great acceptance speech. What are you wearing to the awards ceremony?
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 25, 2014 13:37:57 GMT -5
If I saw it once, I would mention it to the daycare. If I saw it a couple times, I would probably call the cops. 5 kids and basically no seatbelts or a regular basis? I could see once in an emergency, but routinely. I can't say for certain that is what I would do, but the situation would make me very uncomfortable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2014 13:45:02 GMT -5
I leave my kids in the car, let them ride bikes all over unattended, even after dark. They ride on tractors and other farm equipment. They play tag with 1000 pound animals. I turned them front facing at one year. I don't always make sure their hands are washed before eating when they come in from outside playing, (heck I never stopped them from eating crap off the floor half the time). I let the 11 year old mow lawn. When I go out to do barn chores half the time the 4 year old stays in the house playing in his room or watching Sesame Street. They have a gecko, but with all the raw cookie dough they eat they must be immune to salmonella. I don't sit by youngest the entire time he's in the tub. I don't take them into the ladies room after age 5 or 6. I feed them McDonalds food. My 11 year old is home alone right now while I"m at work. This sounds like a great acceptance speech. What are you wearing to the awards ceremony? I probably won't go. I skip most of that kid related crap.
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yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Jun 25, 2014 13:46:18 GMT -5
This sounds like a great acceptance speech. What are you wearing to the awards ceremony? I probably won't go. I skip most of that kid related crap.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Jun 25, 2014 13:47:22 GMT -5
This sounds like a great acceptance speech. What are you wearing to the awards ceremony? I probably won't go. I skip most of that kid related crap. POTD
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 25, 2014 13:47:39 GMT -5
MPL - my kiddo is younger than yours are but I have a feeling I will be running for your crown in the next couple of years
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Jun 25, 2014 13:49:25 GMT -5
MPL - my kiddo is younger than yours are but I have a feeling I will be running for your crown in the next couple of years Yeah that!
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The Captain
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Post by The Captain on Jun 25, 2014 13:57:01 GMT -5
If I saw it once, I would mention it to the daycare. If I saw it a couple times, I would probably call the cops. 5 kids and basically no seatbelts or a regular basis? I could see once in an emergency, but routinely. I can't say for certain that is what I would do, but the situation would make me very uncomfortable. It was daily for a few weeks. I first reported it to the daycare who said they couldn't do anything as it was not inside the building. Then DH reported it, got the same story. I reported it again and said if they didn't talk to the parent of the kids without a carseat I'd have to report it to the authorities. We stopped seeing them a few days after that.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 27, 2014 11:04:51 GMT -5
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 27, 2014 12:30:18 GMT -5
True. I think this thread needed more Tloony.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 27, 2014 15:54:54 GMT -5
There is supposedly other information as well. How sad for that poor little boy. I dont' want to imagine the pain he went through
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2014 16:00:03 GMT -5
That really has to be a horrible way to die. Not just the physical part, but emotionally he had to be scared as hell.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 27, 2014 16:39:42 GMT -5
That really has to be a horrible way to die. Not just the physical part, but emotionally he had to be scared as hell. I can only hope that he was passed out and blissfully unaware (sort of how people die from the smoke before the fire gets them)
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 28, 2014 13:30:06 GMT -5
New Orleans isn't exactly known for its lack of crime. I was gone from my NO hotel room for an hour and had $100 stolen. I left the $$ there because I was afraid of being mugged. I should have put it in the safe, but that is pretty ridiculous.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Jun 29, 2014 10:59:41 GMT -5
OP Mom is wrong. Kid is 4. Friend was cited by WCPD for leaving her 10yo in car when she ran into Starbucks. This was much worse. Kid was stolen in Oakland in less time than that.
The only thing that might cause me to change opinion is how small is the town? Our town is > 10k. More than that, not ok as they are your most valuable asset.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 29, 2014 12:59:30 GMT -5
What is wrong with F-in people!? If you don't want your kid anymore, I'm sure there's tons of people out there that do.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2014 13:04:54 GMT -5
What kind of a monster do you have to be to do this to a child? So sad. Cook that man.
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nutty
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Post by nutty on Jun 29, 2014 21:15:07 GMT -5
Really do you think he left the boy in the car on purpose So after reading this thread I google this info, like statistics and such, and pass the info on to my DD and she does the same and then it happens. I google ALOT of stuff, I hope nothing ever happens to me because my google ping and cell ping would have some really, really, bizarre searches on them.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Jun 29, 2014 21:38:52 GMT -5
The biggest problem I have with his Atlanta death is that dad was an IT guy. If he had planned to kill his son, he would have been incredibly stupid to not delete his searches.
It is not uncommon for the authorities to seize computers, to look for guilt.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 30, 2014 10:54:28 GMT -5
I google ALOT of stuff, I hope nothing ever happens to me because my google ping and cell ping would have some really, really, bizarre searches on them.
Me too, and I can see Googling something like "dangerous car temperatures for kids" (which would still be suspicious if my kid happened to die after I searched that phrase) but I can't imagine Googling something idiotic like "how hot does it have to be to cook a kid in a car" unless you were a deranged psychopath.
I know from the dying kid's perspective it makes no difference if the parent left them in the car on purpose or not, but it still breaks my heart to think that anyone could be so unfeeling toward their baby to do that on purpose. I'm with everyone else - strap HIM into a car seat and leave him out in a parking lot on a baking hot day until he dies.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 30, 2014 10:56:08 GMT -5
The biggest problem I have with his Atlanta death is that dad was an IT guy. If he had planned to kill his son, he would have been incredibly stupid to not delete his searches.
He probably did delete them. Techs can dig up deleted Google searches. If he were really being smart, he would have used a public computer, like at the library.
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