Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 23, 2014 15:47:13 GMT -5
If the thing about the Google search is true - that dad is a complete sociopath and deserves everything that's about to happen to him in prison. Every last little thing. I hope they go full Shawshank on his ass. Even the most hardened criminals tend to have special feelings for people who hurt kids
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 23, 2014 15:47:44 GMT -5
IT didn't help that around this time, a child died after being left in a day care van near my parents' house. And the child's family is/was members of DH's church and his SIL was quite close with the mom. It really hit home and that's a huge part of the reason why I wouldn't bus DD to school for K4. So the day care was responsible? Ugh! A parents worst nightmare. There is an inhome daycare in our neighborhood, and a 9 mon old boy choked on something and died. I kept looking int he papers to find out more on the case, but there was no followup anywhere. The did change the name of the place.....scary, I thought. so little in the papers, change name, how would a parent know? Yes, it was the day care's fault. They closed down (or were shut down) after it happened. They reopened but I never saw anyone there or outside after that. I think the building is for sale now. I found our day care by referral. And DH and I went there with 2 pages of questions. A lot of the day cares around here were cheating the state reimbursements so there's a LOT of name changing going on.
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Firebird
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Post by Firebird on Jun 23, 2014 15:51:22 GMT -5
I do understand what some of you are saying about how really unlikely things like kidnapping "could" happen at any point. You hear of people snatching kids from playgrounds, where their parents are presumably watching them.
I guess my position is the same one some of you took on my "drinking while pregnant" thread a couple of years ago - bad things can happen to any baby, and there's a bunch of awful things we can't control. However, if something happened to my baby because I was taking a risk with her, it would be hard to ever forgive myself. That "acceptable" risk I had taken wouldn't be so acceptable anymore if something were to actually happen to her while I was taking it.
That doesn't mean we don't ever take acceptable risks but if there are risks we can avoid with a little extra planning and care, why wouldn't we?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 15:57:38 GMT -5
I haven't had cable or watched the news in years.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Jun 23, 2014 15:57:44 GMT -5
If the thing about the Google search is true - that dad is a complete sociopath and deserves everything that's about to happen to him in prison. Every last little thing. I hope they go full Shawshank on his ass. Even the most hardened criminals tend to have special feelings for people who hurt kids Having worked in a jail, I can say this is true. The prisoner hierarchy is a strange thing. Child molesters and anyone else who has hurt a child tend to be housed together and apart from other inmates, who do in fact see them as the lowest of the low. In other words, bank robbery or carjacking, even if someone gets injured or killed, is "better" than anyone who hurts a child. While we see this as rather warped thinking, prisoners do not. They have their own rules and regulations for behavior, even when it's all breaking the law.
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 23, 2014 15:57:51 GMT -5
I know. I just thought I would mention why I don't use them. DD will usually sit still on my lap while I'm peeing. Considering most of the time she is only sits still if it is naptime or bedtime and she is getting a bottle, I'll take my cuddles anytime I can get them. so what do you with her when you have to pull your pants up, button your jeans, wash your hands? She stands up while I pull my punts up and button them. I set her on the sink in front of me while I wash my plans.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 16:02:19 GMT -5
so what do you with her when you have to pull your pants up, button your jeans, wash your hands? She stands up while I pull my punts up and button them. I set her on the sink in front of me while I wash my plans. and if she was under 6 months old? and if she can stand, why does she need to sit on your lap while you pee?
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 23, 2014 16:04:42 GMT -5
She stands up while I pull my punts up and button them. I set her on the sink in front of me while I wash my plans. and if she was under 6 months old? From my experience, the kid is hopefully in a baby bucket car seat but if not, almost all things can be done 1 handed. It's not fast or pretty, but you do what you gotta do!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 16:06:32 GMT -5
and if she was under 6 months old? From my experience, the kid is hopefully in a baby bucket car seat but if not, almost all things can be done 1 handed. It's not fast or pretty, but you do what you gotta do! this started from a poster who said they wouldn't take their kid into a restroom with them and then morphed to how do you pee with a baby. one of my first questions was wouldn't they be in an infant car seat so why wouldn't you just take that into the bathroom with you?
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 23, 2014 16:08:17 GMT -5
She stands up while I pull my punts up and button them. I set her on the sink in front of me while I wash my plans. and if she was under 6 months old? You are asking me what I did. This is what I did/do. We didn't travel with them when they were less than 6 months (as I previously explained). She's 17 months, I'm not having any more. If someone wants to do something different, go for it. I just was explaining what I do and I explicitly said and OLDER BABY or Toddler. And 90% of the time it is all 4 of us somewhere. So, if we are taking a break, DH pumps gas and I take the kids into the bathroom. This gives everyone the most time to get out and stretch. Sometimes, one or both of the kids will stay in the car while DH pumps gas. If we aren't getting gas, then DH is smoking outside of the car while the kids are in it.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 23, 2014 16:12:38 GMT -5
I love that DS is now old enough to hand off to dad and I only have to deal with 1 kid in the bathroom - and she's 6 and 99.5% of the time she takes care of herself, including hand washing and drying. DS used to have fits going to the men's room with Daddy.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 23, 2014 17:45:22 GMT -5
I am learning way too much about bathroom habits of some of our posters
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 23, 2014 17:46:34 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song.
Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Jun 23, 2014 19:41:08 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song. Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids. I wonder if it's a gender thing? I don't care much what DD sees (not that she's old enough to notice anything) but DH gets all twitchy if we walk in while he's getting out of the shower or something. I'm not sure if it would be different if we had a boy.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 20:50:38 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song. Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids. I wonder if it's a gender thing? I don't care much what DD sees (not that she's old enough to notice anything) but DH gets all twitchy if we walk in while he's getting out of the shower or something. I'm not sure if it would be different if we had a boy. I don't mind peeing in front of my boys. Ok, just the younger one these days. The 12 year old would probably die if I did that now. The just turned four year old will still shower with me sometimes too. I can't remember, but I think this is about the age when I started phasing out of the shared bathroom stuff with older son and I highly doubt he remembers any of it anyhow.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 21:01:24 GMT -5
"I do understand what some of you are saying about how really unlikely things like kidnapping "could" happen at any point. You hear of people snatching kids from playgrounds, where their parents are presumably watching them. "
As unlikely as they may sound, they seem to be getting worse. They happen everywhere. If it seems unlikely in a certain location than another it is probably due to the number of people. Less number of babies less kidnapping. But i am with firebird, i would not take the risk because i couldn't live with myself if i made that choice just out of convenience!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 23, 2014 21:12:09 GMT -5
Actually, violent crime and child abductions are way down in the US. It's all the sensationalism of the cases by the media that make it seem like it's worse.
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 23, 2014 21:20:18 GMT -5
x 1,000,000,000
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muttleynfelix
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Post by muttleynfelix on Jun 23, 2014 21:30:40 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song. Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids. We travel quite a bit and 95% of the time there is no family restroom. Well over half the time there is no changing table.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 23, 2014 23:27:10 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song. Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids. I wonder if it's a gender thing? I don't care much what DD sees (not that she's old enough to notice anything) but DH gets all twitchy if we walk in while he's getting out of the shower or something. I'm not sure if it would be different if we had a boy. I have no clue how I would have felt if i had girls. Hmmm.....things I could ponder in my spare time.... After I stopped nursing it was the end of them seeing me in any way but dressed.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jun 23, 2014 23:29:03 GMT -5
BTW, I am not as "modern" as many, so when I took my kids to the family room while we were traveling, I made them turn away, close their eyes and sing me a song. Yes, I am probably a prude, but I am just not comfortable with peeing in front of my kids. We travel quite a bit and 95% of the time there is no family restroom. Well over half the time there is no changing table. Yeah, I've been thinking about all kinds of bathroom scenarios bc I have 3 boys and at some point I won't be able to bring them in with me.
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NastyWoman
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Post by NastyWoman on Jun 24, 2014 0:07:19 GMT -5
I was the one that said I would not take three kids into a gas station bathroom with me and I meant it. However, I "borrowed" Angel's kids for my example, since I only had two (adults now) and I never took them to a strange bathroom with me, I just didn't go. I have a bladder the size of a small lake and am really good at holding it. Heck I don't even go on a plane ever despite regular 11+ hour flights over the years . And after reading all the responses I believe that few to none of you would be able to handle more than one kid and a bathroom either!
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2014 8:03:16 GMT -5
I was the one that said I would not take three kids into a gas station bathroom with me and I meant it. However, I "borrowed" Angel's kids for my example, since I only had two (adults now) and I never took them to a strange bathroom with me, I just didn't go. I have a bladder the size of a small lake and am really good at holding it. Heck I don't even go on a plane ever despite regular 11+ hour flights over the years . And after reading all the responses I believe that few to none of you would be able to handle more than one kid and a bathroom either! I've done it. And while I know it pisses Mich off, the handicapped stalls have been a blessing. I'm grateful that the kids can each be in a separate stall now. I still get to hover outside DS's door but when I've got both kids, we all go into the ladies room and I tell them to pick a stall. Then while they're washing up, I get in and out as fast as I can. Usually they're still playing at the sink... But they're 4.5 and 6. It was different when they were 2 and 3.5.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2014 9:10:36 GMT -5
Actually, violent crime and child abductions are way down in the US. It's all the sensationalism of the cases by the media that make it seem like it's worse. That doesn't mean it doesn't still happen. That doesn't mean you should stop paying attention to your kids and leave them unattended.
In my family we don't play the odds.
The odds of dying in a plane crash are 1 in 11 million. DH's dad died in a plane crash when he was 42 years old. 2 years later DH's uncle (dad's brother), aunt, cousin, and DH's sister all died in a plane crash. Uncle was 42 at the time. So what are the odds of 5 people in one family dying in separate plane crashes? Enough that DH has zero plans to fly anywhere in 2015 (he turns 42 in February 2015). So yeah- the odds of my kid being kidnapped off a playground were small when he was younger but that doesn't mean I just dropped my 4 year old off at a park and left him there. The odds of my car being stolen while he was in it are very small as well but that doesn't mean I'd be comfortable leaving him unattended in the car while I make a potty break.
We don't tempt the odds in our family.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2014 10:17:08 GMT -5
That's what I'm saying. Even though the odds may be low I'm still not all about putting my kid at an unnecessary risk. Yes at some point you have to let them grow up. Yes riding in a car is a risk, but in my personal situation it's a necessary risk that I have to take.
I don't let him from eating raw cookie dough I use a separate cutting board for meat and veggies. I have yet to let my 16 year old mow the lawn (I have an irrational fear of lawn mowers- too many Darwin award entries about lawn mower accidents) I don't let my kid play with fireworks I make him wear a life vest at all times when on a boat (yes he knows how to swim) The list could go on but you get the gist. Why gamble unnecessarily with my kid's safety?
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 24, 2014 10:30:12 GMT -5
It's not just that. A co-worker of mine lost his kid sister in a lawn mowing accident. They had been using some old ice cream pails in their yard (metal handled ones). The metal handle broke off one and they lost it in the yard. Older brother drove over it with the lawn mower and it kicked it out, flew across the yard and went into the little sister's head and killed her while she was playing across the yard. Granted this was like 25-30 years ago but I still have an irrational fear of lawn mowers. I would never let DS play in the yard while DH was mowing- DS always had to come back inside until his dad was done mowing.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Jun 24, 2014 11:18:34 GMT -5
That's what I'm saying. Even though the odds may be low I'm still not all about putting my kid at an unnecessary risk. Yes at some point you have to let them grow up. Yes riding in a car is a risk, but in my personal situation it's a necessary risk that I have to take.
I don't let him from eating raw cookie dough I use a separate cutting board for meat and veggies. I have yet to let my 16 year old mow the lawn (I have an irrational fear of lawn mowers- too many Darwin award entries about lawn mower accidents) I don't let my kid play with fireworks I make him wear a life vest at all times when on a boat (yes he knows how to swim) The list could go on but you get the gist. Why gamble unnecessarily with my kid's safety?
And yet the Boy is in Germany right now.
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Sam_2.0
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Post by Sam_2.0 on Jun 24, 2014 11:22:53 GMT -5
There's always a risk. There was a story just awhile back of a 3-yr old that went to bed and never woke up, and they have no idea why. Kids can experience dry drowning hours after playing at the pool. Hell, in 30 years we will probably find out that half of the things we do with our kids are actually quite dangerous.
I just decided when DD was a tiny baby and preferred to sleep on her tummy that I wasn't going to let myself go insane worrying over all the constant what-if's. The actual stats on tummy vs. back and SIDS didn't seem statistically significant to me even though they advertise them as being worlds apart.
How many parents turn carseats FF at 1yr for the convenience factor instead of waiting until the recommended 2+ years? I remember kids turning around in carseats at 8-9 months when my brothers were little! And despite the media hype, stranger abduction/harm is actually very, very rare. Kids are more in danger being cared for by a biological parent than they are being left alone with strangers, especially if they are living with only one biological parent and not both.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 24, 2014 12:07:29 GMT -5
"How many parents turn carseats FF at 1yr for the convenience factor instead of waiting until the recommended 2+ years? "
Maybe that is the difference. I waited until he was 2, past 2 even to turn his car seat.
"Kids are more in danger being cared for by a biological parent than they are being left alone with strangers, especially if they are living with only one biological parent and not both. "
Kids are safer with strangers?
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justme
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Post by justme on Jun 24, 2014 12:15:53 GMT -5
Statistically, yes. More kids are harmed by someone you know. Similar to the sexual assault stats where most people are assaulted by someone they know, not a stranger.
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