tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 17, 2014 11:50:45 GMT -5
Why do you have to shake hand with a woman? Its such a manly thing to do so I am always surprised when I see extended hand. Why can't that be just 'hello, how are you doing, nice meeting you' etc. Leave hands to man! Totally agree, and when it's time to get down to business and make some decisions, let the ladies go get some tea while the men tend to business. Maybe they can stop by the steno pool to lend a hand while the men smoke cigars and run the company. No way men and women in the same meeting room can do business UNLESS they shook hands? of a people who could be just went to the restroom and have no habit of washing hands with soap... So as long as hands grabbed - women and men becoming an EQUAL and can DO business!!! Is that what you are pushing and pushing on me? Do you suggest shaking hands before and after sex so woman will be feeling she wasn't F**ed...so that was mutual exchange of emotions and fluids?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 17, 2014 11:52:17 GMT -5
Why do you have to shake hand with a woman? Its such a manly thing to do so I am always surprised when I see extended hand. Why can't that be just 'hello, how are you doing, nice meeting you' etc. Leave hands to man! should we also leave the work to the men while the women stay home barefoot and preggo? ...above post please. And shake hoops hands. Both....so you both can't type for a while
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jun 17, 2014 12:10:00 GMT -5
Women and men generally shake hands the same in my opinion, and I like tend to do a lot of hand shaking. I always think it's weird when a people have a limp handshake, especially men. On another note, I like being touched! Hugs, handshakes, etc don't bother me at all. I especially love going to the doctor as their touch/attention makes me feel good- I don't know how to explain that without sounding weird! My husband's family takes it to another level. Maybe it's cultural as they are Mexican and I'm not, I don't know, but every time we get together with either side of his family you go around and hug every single person and all the men and sometimes the women kiss me on the cheek. Even if there's dozens of people there. And every time we get together. It doesn't bother me except if someone gets lipstick on my face.
HATE this. My husband's family is the same way. I like them all, but I dread the hug everyone when you arrive and hug everyone AGAIN when you leave expectations. I regret "playing along" and doing it when we first started dating. I should've stood my ground then. Now, I've tried to compromise: I'll hug everyone when I greet them, but I do a group waive and goodbye.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 17, 2014 12:34:51 GMT -5
::No way men and women in the same meeting room can do business UNLESS they shook hands?::
They CAN, but it would be incredibly disrespectful for the men to shake hands with the men and then not the women as you suggest should be the case.
::of a people who could be just went to the restroom and have no habit of washing hands with soap...::
Ok, how does this have anything to do with men shaking hands with men and not women though?
::Do you suggest shaking hands before and after sex so woman will be feeling she wasn't F**ed...so that was mutual exchange of emotions and fluids? ::
This doesn't even make sense given the context of the discussion. I guess you're contractually obligated to write jibberish at least once per post?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 17, 2014 13:02:21 GMT -5
::No way men and women in the same meeting room can do business UNLESS they shook hands?::
1.They CAN, but it would be incredibly disrespectful for the men to shake hands with the men and then not the women as you suggest should be the case.
::of a people who could be just went to the restroom and have no habit of washing hands with soap...::
Ok, how does this have anything to do with men shaking hands with men and not women though?
::Do you suggest shaking hands before and after sex so woman will be feeling she wasn't F**ed...so that was mutual exchange of emotions and fluids? ::
This doesn't even make sense given the context of the discussion. I guess you're contractually obligated to write jibberish at least once per post? 1. How silly! I come to the meeting room, saying 'good morning everyone, how is everyone doing today?' and I keep walking to my seat where I sit and no one will come close to me. If you are not that vibrant you can put your hand into a sling. 2. How silly to say what you said when you have nothing to say. Right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight...
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 17, 2014 13:08:10 GMT -5
Didn't read everything but I assume people who do that have arthritis or carpal tunnel that makes shaking hands very painful. I try to match my handshake to the person, and even more so with elderly people.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Jun 17, 2014 13:14:31 GMT -5
Women and men generally shake hands the same in my opinion, and I like tend to do a lot of hand shaking. I always think it's weird when a people have a limp handshake, especially men. On another note, I like being touched! Hugs, handshakes, etc don't bother me at all. I especially love going to the doctor as their touch/attention makes me feel good- I don't know how to explain that without sounding weird! My husband's family takes it to another level. Maybe it's cultural as they are Mexican and I'm not, I don't know, but every time we get together with either side of his family you go around and hug every single person and all the men and sometimes the women kiss me on the cheek. Even if there's dozens of people there. And every time we get together. It doesn't bother me except if someone gets lipstick on my face.
HATE this. My husband's family is the same way. I like them all, but I dread the hug everyone when you arrive and hug everyone AGAIN when you leave expectations. I regret "playing along" and doing it when we first started dating. I should've stood my ground then. Now, I've tried to compromise: I'll hug everyone when I greet them, but I do a group waive and goodbye. I've never realized this but my in-laws are like this too. Visits are stressed anyway since everything is about appearances with them and the judgment that comes from any imagined slight can last for weeks, but the obligatory hug upon entrance and the receiving line at the end... Ugh! Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jun 17, 2014 13:18:12 GMT -5
I dislike hugs so much I refused a receiving line atmy wedding.
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greeniis10
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Post by greeniis10 on Jun 17, 2014 13:22:05 GMT -5
Oh, me too! We had a very small wedding and I did manage to talk DH out of the receiving line, but it didn't matter anyway: hugs from everyone as they came into the reception hall; hugs from everyone as they left. SOOOO glad I'm not the only person like this! DH cannot understand it.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on Jun 17, 2014 13:37:54 GMT -5
::1. How silly! I come to the meeting room, saying 'good morning everyone, how is everyone doing today?' and I keep walking to my seat where I sit and no one will come close to me. If you are not that vibrant you can put your hand into a sling.::
That's not even the same argument, you're arguing men shoudl shaek hands with men. I'm saying nobody has to shake hands, but doing it with one gender and not the other makes no sense and is disrespectful.
::2. How silly to say what you said when you have nothing to say. Right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight...::
You're comparing shaking hands in business to shaking hands with someone you're having sex with. So correct, I have nothing to say to that "logic". We're talking about treating each gender equally, your argument only makes sense if you're having sex with men and women and only believe in shaking hands with one before and after. If you are, please start a thread and let us know, it will be a good one!
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 17, 2014 14:44:55 GMT -5
I'm amazed that people don't know how to shake hands and nothing - NOTHING is grosser than a limp, sweaty hand shake! Especially from a man. I think wuss every time. Bleh!
You don't have to crush fingers either. A firm, dry palm to palm hand shake is what I consider a good, respectful, professional hand shake.
I love hugs too when you bond with somebody or meet somebody for the first time (like from here after you've talked for years and already feel close to that person) that you like and of course people you like a lot and love or enjoyed their company.
I do have a friend who likes to kiss on the lips. I hate that. Her husband does it too and I just wish they wouldn't. My mom and best friend are the only ones that it doesn't bother me outside of romantic relationships. Ok. It was mostly just my mom that it didn't bother me. LOL!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2014 14:54:01 GMT -5
I'm amazed that people don't know how to shake hands and nothing - NOTHING is grosser than a limp, sweaty hand shake! Especially from a man. I think wuss every time. Bleh! You don't have to crush fingers either. A firm, dry palm to palm hand shake is what I consider a good, respectful, professional hand shake. I love hugs too when you bond with somebody or meet somebody for the first time (like from here after you've talked for years and already feel close to that person) that you like and of course people you like a lot and love or enjoyed their company. I do have a friend who likes to kiss on the lips. I hate that. Her husband does it too and I just wish they wouldn't. My mom and best friend are the only ones that it doesn't bother me outside of romantic relationships. Ok. It was mostly just my mom that it didn't bother me. LOL! My Dad does that and it just weirds me out (he wasn't in the picture much until I was maybe 30, so it's not like he's my "Daddy" and I'm his baby girl).
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Post by Deleted on Jun 17, 2014 17:56:50 GMT -5
I am a germaphobe and handshakes gross me out. I don't know where your hand has been. I would really like us to abandon the practice. As it is I don't work so anyone who puts their hand out gets the wimpy barely finger shake. See I admitted it. I do the wimpy shake.
And no one kisses me on the lips except my dh. All other family members get a peck on the cheek or hug.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 17, 2014 18:04:57 GMT -5
On another note, I like being touched! Hugs, handshakes, etc don't bother me at all. I especially love going to the doctor as their touch/attention makes me feel good- I don't know how to explain that without sounding weird! Hugs, embraces, a kiss on the cheek don't bother me either - or having a doctor's touch - or a massage, etc.
I think it means you have a positive sensory perception and the touch or emotion of the human contact makes you feel good.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Jun 17, 2014 18:12:43 GMT -5
It seems some people have a problem with being touched.
Handshakes don't bother me, can't say I'd be a big fan of hugging non family members though.
I have issues but it's a mental thing. DH is pushing me to go back on my meds. I had a couple of panic attacks in the past week. One day a man touched my hand when I opened a door (he put his hand on top of mine to grab the door too) and yesterday a woman at the movies kept touching my arm (wanted the armrest) and I nearly had to leave the movies. But like I said- I'm a weirdo and it's a mental disorder.
I don't get this hugging trend people have. I hug my husband, my son and my nieces and nephews. That's it. Anyone else tries to hug me and they are liable to get punched. I'll hid behind DH and employ other evasive tactics to get out of being hugged by people.
I won't hug people once I know they don't want to be hugged. My younger sister, for one, doesn't like being touched and once she told me that, I stopped. If you avoid me, eventually it will sink in that you don't want me hugging you but please, just tell me. I may feel weird about it for 10 minutes, then I move on. I had no idea so many people had these issues until I started reading about it over here. So now when somebody here wants to meet me I tell them that I'm a hugger so let me know if they are not. None have turned me down yet but if they do I'm totally going to chase them with my arms out.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Jun 17, 2014 18:36:53 GMT -5
If and when I ever meet you, POM, we can do the hand-shake, followed by a chest-bump, hug, and grope.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Jun 17, 2014 18:59:32 GMT -5
Never really thought much about it, I shake hands with everyone and consider it a sign of mutual respect. If it's really important, I might even look you directly in the eyes when I do it.
I used to hate hugs, but as I've gotten older, I appreciate hugs more and freely give them as needed. My family does not hug, in fact I don't remember ever getting a hug from my dad. Doesn't bother me, but it just seems strange, he will hug my kids.
I try to make it a point and hug my kids whenever I can, hoping they will return the favor when I get old and senile.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jun 17, 2014 19:38:55 GMT -5
As part of our prep to interview in college we had mock interviews that were taped and we were all taught how to give a proper handshake. To this day I cringe when I interview a woman and she had. Limo handshake...and I think "" if a guy had a limp handshake.
I come from a family of huggers. I'm less of a hugger but know that upon entry and exit of every extended family get together, I will need to hug at least the old generation.
What I couldn't get used to in brazil was the constant kissing of everyone! My accountants, attorneys, customs broker, etc....I had to kiss all of them upon entry and exit! THAT weirded me out
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morrisr2d2
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Post by morrisr2d2 on Jun 17, 2014 22:04:25 GMT -5
As a guy I was taught to always match a woman's strength in the hand shake. Is that not protocol anymore?
Nothing is worse than a guy giving a weak handshake. I can think of many situations where I thought a guy was hot when I went to shake his hand and then BAM, weak handshake and all the sudden he's no longer attractive!
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spicyhotpepper
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Post by spicyhotpepper on Jun 18, 2014 9:08:50 GMT -5
Never really thought much about it, I shake hands with everyone and consider it a sign of mutual respect. If it's really important, I might even look you directly in the eyes when I do it. I used to hate hugs, but as I've gotten older, I appreciate hugs more and freely give them as needed. My family does not hug, in fact I don't remember ever getting a hug from my dad. Doesn't bother me, but it just seems strange, he will hug my kids. I try to make it a point and hug my kids whenever I can, hoping they will return the favor when I get old and senile. I agree with this too. I find the handshake a sign of respect and gratitude (thanks for meeting me, helping me out, etc.) A business meeting seems awkward to me if people don't shake hands upon meeting.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Jun 18, 2014 9:26:26 GMT -5
::1. How silly! I come to the meeting room, saying 'good morning everyone, how is everyone doing today?' and I keep walking to my seat where I sit and no one will come close to me. If you are not that vibrant you can put your hand into a sling.:: That's not even the same argument, you're arguing men 1. shoudl shaek hands with men. I'm saying nobody has to shake hands, 2. but doing it with one gender and not the other makes no sense and is disrespectful. ::2. How silly to say what you said when you have nothing to say. Right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiight...:: You're comparing shaking hands in business to shaking hands with someone you're having sex with. So correct, I have nothing to say to that "logic". We're talking about treating each gender equally, your argument only makes sense if you're having sex with men and women and only believe in shaking hands with one before and after. If you are, please start a thread and let us know, it will be a good one! I am definitely not arguing THAT! because I don't know what it means... And I am saying that men should shake hands and whatever else they are shaking and they are free to do this. However MY OWN hands are not to be shaken by men because I do not like those huge paws sometimes sweaty and sometimes with dirty nails and sometimes simply gross! Women's hands are more DELICATE (supposed to be anyway) so not shaking my hand doesn't make me feel deprived or discriminated. Or less valuable as a partner. SEE how POSSIBLE that is? And whoever does feel this way (deprived and discriminated) needs to see the therapist about their self-esteem issues. 'Good Day, you look amazing today' is enough without touching me...and let's get to business (whatever that business is all about...)
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goldensam
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Post by goldensam on Jun 18, 2014 13:07:26 GMT -5
Limp handshakes from either gender drive me crazy. I'm also a little bit (ok a lot) of a germaphobe so while I shake hands when appropriate, I can't wait to wash them.
I guess it's better than the alternatives. When I was consulting, I had a coworker that insisted on hugging every person she met, even the higher ups at the client. I was embarrassed for her. I also had a coworker that I would only see every few months and she would always insist on kissing on the lips! I got really hood and last minute face turning. Ugh.
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ZaireinHD
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Post by ZaireinHD on Jun 18, 2014 16:38:01 GMT -5
It's a minor pet peeve of mine, but I'm curious, what is the proper way to shake hands with a woman?
I've always thought it was just like with a man. You reach out, clasp their hand firmly, but not too hard and not too limp, and shake. But I've noticed a lot of women will reach out with their hand curved and their fingers pointing downward and towards you. You then are forced to grasp their fingers and shake, which just seems weird to me.
Is this the proper way, or is the more traditional method the proper way?
If I'm not making sense, let me know, I can probably find videos or pictures or something to illustrate my point. yes! I've noticed this ...position of her hand and used to end up holding her fingers! so when I noticed this I started to make sure the area between my thumb and first finger gets to the same area on her hand. which is a bit more difficult because of my height. so I have to angle downward even more almost having to bend the knee to get in there - LOL
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Jun 20, 2014 10:56:02 GMT -5
I'm not worried about how I do it, I'm complaining about how they do it. I have no problem with the way I shake hands, because I do it the right way. phoenix, I say this with good intentions of trying to be helpful. If this egotism is a dominate trait in your personality, it may be part of the reason you are having trouble successfully dating. I realize this is one sentence in a fairly trivial topic, and it may not be indicative of your normal conversation. I have two sisters, no brothers. While my father was a true alpha, assholish, proper American male, we were never taught to shake hands. It has become a part of my societal norms, and I hate it. I often forget to do it, and then other opposite person doesn't know what to do with me. I'm working on it. I don't do the limp handshake though, I'm pretty sure. I don't tell someone that they're doing wrong if I get a wrong handshake. But at the same time, if I'm doing something right and someone else is doing something wrong, I'll acknowledge it, and say so given the correct context (like on a specific topic on an anonyms message board.)
What am I supposed to say? I'm doing it right but it's okay if everyone else does it wrong? Or it doesn't matter if shaking hands is done right or wrong? Ego doesn't really enter into it. I do it right, and not everyone else does. Note I'm not saying I'm the only one who does it right, a subtle, but important difference.
Why aren't high schools teaching this stuff? That's where I learned to shake hands, in high school business classes.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Jun 20, 2014 11:32:45 GMT -5
Why aren't high schools teaching this stuff? That's where I learned to shake hands, in high school business classes.
First off you have to recognize the current culture of high schools. In many cases teachers aren't allowed to touch kids at all. So shaking a kids hand, reaching out with your other hand to adjust the angle of their hand or what have you could be troublesome for teachers.
That being said the Boy does Youth In Government in which the kids do a lot hand shaking and meeting government types, lawyers, etc. So he told us flat out at the beginning "I will be working with the kids on how to do a proper handshake. Feel free to follow up at home and practice with your son or daughter". DS has a good handshake but initially (pre- Mr. M telling us to practice with him) it was a bit limp. Granted at the time he was in the 8th grade but still.
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Lizard Queen
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Post by Lizard Queen on Jun 20, 2014 11:51:06 GMT -5
Actually, I'm glad that phoenix brought this up. I didn't know it was a big deal, but now that I do, I can consciously work on improving that.
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