tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 9:51:07 GMT -5
My standard gift for adults is $20 worth of lottery tickets in a card. Howeve, the host is tacky. ..don't forget a rope for yourself...if they win with your tickets...
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 9:53:40 GMT -5
Lottery tickets are a great idea! Would it bug you if they won big and ddnt share? That's why its a BAd idea...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 9:54:43 GMT -5
I was a little surprised when they asked me why I didn't bring a gift. I answered, thinking that would be that. But they kept going at it. Like I said; funny but kind of weird. The point, in my view, is that we already are too materialistic and the biggest gift is being there and having a good time together. No $20 cologne needed. How is it funny? They had basically put you down in front of people calling you a cheapskate and a freeloader! I wouldn't feel like laughing after such humiliation. However I would never come empty handed or with desert only to a BDay where you know people are catering or cooking. Coming without gift is ill mannered. If you don't want to spend on gift - decline an invitation 'due to a cheap nerve inflamation' .
And stay home, eat your desert and don't answer questions about why not without gift? I am actually so surprised - I had never heard about anyone actually put cheap guest on the spot like that. 'Why no gift'? brilliant! seriously? as opposed to the birthday person who is a gift grubber....I don't understand any adult that expects gifts for their birthday - and that includes parents. I am astonished all the time at the fuss made over someone's 36th birthday - what, are they 2?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 9:57:13 GMT -5
Instead of buying the ingredients for the dessert you made for the party, spend the money instead on a bottle of wine and a card. That's what I thought 5 times reading this thread. If ava is such a good friend with these 'friends' - how come such 'questioning' had happened on a first place
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 9:57:21 GMT -5
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milee
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Post by milee on May 27, 2014 9:59:08 GMT -5
I think etiquette is/has changed and "no gifts please" on invites is not considered rude anymore-except probably in the south. Sent from my ADR6410LVW using proboards
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steph08
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Post by steph08 on May 27, 2014 9:59:47 GMT -5
I don't understand adult birthday parties either - unless it is a "milestone" birthday or a surprise party.
I'm 28 and don't expect gifts for my birthday, and if I had a party, it would be to hang out with all my friends, not for a gift grab.
I think your gift was nice and I would have loved it. It was wrong of the birthday "boy" and other people to bash your gift when it took way more time and effort than just going and buying a card and a bottle of wine or gift card or whatever.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 10:02:13 GMT -5
How is it funny? They had basically put you down in front of people calling you a cheapskate and a freeloader! I wouldn't feel like laughing after such humiliation. However I would never come empty handed or with desert only to a BDay where you know people are catering or cooking. Coming without gift is ill mannered. If you don't want to spend on gift - decline an invitation 'due to a cheap nerve inflamation' .
And stay home, eat your desert and don't answer questions about why not without gift? I am actually so surprised - I had never heard about anyone actually put cheap guest on the spot like that. 'Why no gift'? brilliant! seriously? as opposed to the birthday person who is a gift grubber....I don't understand any adult that expects gifts for their birthday - and that includes parents. I am astonished all the time at the fuss made over someone's 36th birthday - what, are they 2? DD was just invited to Memorial Day cook out. With tons of friends. I had asked (and I always do but who is listening!) - are you going empty handed? She looked at me like and her friend said 'my Mom asked me the same question'...I said SO I am not the only one !!! Stop by the store and get some plants and cookies or bag of shrimps or whatever family might like. NOT that they needed it - it is just very nice to have some food you know people brought because they appreciated your invitation as supposed to just came in, stuffed their faces and left...but no one asked for anything!!! It is just depends how your head screwed on.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:02:13 GMT -5
But obviously that was what was expected. How can you be friends with people and not know this?
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 10:08:54 GMT -5
But obviously that was what was expected. How can you be friends with people and not know this? yes, how can you be friends with people and not know the only reason they want you to come share their birthday with them is so they can get a gift?
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 10:10:29 GMT -5
But obviously that was what was expected. How can you be friends with people and not know this? Same question. You know like some people think they are friends. Under no circumstances I would let myself or my family member to humiliate my friend asking such question. I would consider friendship is over at the moment such question left the lips of the 'friend'.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:10:54 GMT -5
Some people are like that. It doesn't make them bad people. I have a very needy friend. Yes, it gets old. But I could call her in the middle of the night and she'd come get me. So I accept it.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 10:13:45 GMT -5
Some people are like that. It doesn't make them bad people. I have a very needy friend. Yes, it gets old. But I could call her in the middle of the night and she'd come get me. So I accept it. Can't imagine this. How needy? Humiliating is their thang?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:15:54 GMT -5
She is high maintenance, lets just say. She actually asked me if I thought she was so someone must have said something to her. I just laughed and said that she was. She is.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 10:16:51 GMT -5
People aren't perfect.
Her friends are tactless, but they must have other good qualities that make it worth it to ava to remain friends with them.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:36:09 GMT -5
and Ava didn't show up empty handed, however, she was told that what she brought wasn't 'good' enough I think those people didn't consider what she brought a gift because the recipient didn't get to decide whether or not he wanted to share it. And I think it was beyond rude for them to say anything other than "thank you" to ava. I'm thinking alcohol was involved and normal manners filters were off.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 10:36:42 GMT -5
She is high maintenance, lets just say. She actually asked me if I thought she was so someone must have said something to her. I just laughed and said that she was. She is. I do not believe a one bit that someone who is high maintenance do not know that they are. Also I do not believe (sorry, zib) that anyone who is high maintenance will interrupt her sleep to come get you (as you claiming). OR maybe we are differently seeing 'high maintenance' people
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:53:15 GMT -5
I still think she would but I could be wrong. More than likely, she'd send her husband!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 10:57:16 GMT -5
I still think she would but I could be wrong. More than likely, she'd send her husband! THAT is funny! So he is just an average Joe-Shmoe who can be sent anywhere? Not high in anything? Who providing her 'maintenance'?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on May 27, 2014 10:58:31 GMT -5
That'd be him. We call him St. George!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 27, 2014 11:10:03 GMT -5
That'd be him. We call him St. George! *** Bless your tolerance! I am not that good.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on May 27, 2014 17:00:23 GMT -5
Lottery tickets are a great idea! Would it bug you if they won big and ddnt share? No
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 27, 2014 17:04:59 GMT -5
It wouldn't bother me either.
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on May 27, 2014 17:36:01 GMT -5
How rude...especially when you have gone to the trouble of making something. I'd usually take a bottle of plonk to a party....or chocs/flowers Wouldn't really buy a gift on the premise that adults generally buy what they want....and I would have a hard job selecting something they would like unless there is a whip round...then I would contribute to something special.
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Spellbound454
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Post by Spellbound454 on May 27, 2014 17:38:07 GMT -5
Oh well.... my post seems to be lost in the ether. It wasn't that good anyway.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 27, 2014 17:40:35 GMT -5
Spell where are your posts at ?
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 27, 2014 17:41:06 GMT -5
My posts are disappearing as well, SHIT.
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Ava
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Post by Ava on May 27, 2014 17:48:14 GMT -5
I just read your comments, Tloonya. You made me laugh!
These people have many good qualities and we've been friends for years. I stopped giving gifts 2 years ago, and they never questioned it until Sunday. I don't intend to change this policy. It's not being cheap or rude, I just don't agree with it. By the same token, I don't expect gifts from anyone. The birthday party wasn't a gift grab, I'm sure they spent more on food or beverages than what they could get back in gifts. The thing is there is a very, very small Argentinean community here and we take advantage of any occasion to get together and celebrate. As long as they keep inviting me, I'll keep going to their parties. I have a good time and I enjoy their company. It's a give and take; I look after their dog when they travel, I invite them to my home and serve them dinner a few times a year, I also don't give them gifts. That's just the way I am and I don't let people shame me into doing anything I don't want to do.
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on May 27, 2014 18:13:09 GMT -5
All is well now, thank you Michael.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2014 21:43:23 GMT -5
I have a fair number of friends who are in different stages and places in my life. Some of them are what I call "4 a.m. friends", the folks with whom I've ridden in an ambulance when their spouse died at 4 a.m and the one I've taken to the hospital at 4 a.m. in advance of her 6 a.m. surgery. For me these are the peeps that make me sleep with my cell as they sleep with their's so we can be there for each other. We don't always do the gift thing or even the card thing and we often hiss and spit like wild animals but we absolutely always know we are available to one another.
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