kid/religious ed situation. WWYD?

[swamp]

Let me preface this thread with the statement that while I am generally Agnostic, I send my kids to Catholic school for assorted reasons and am raising them as Catholics so they can make their own decision later in life.

DS is scheduled for his first communion. They were supposed to have an interview with the priest to make sure they know what is going on. The interviews were scheduled during spring break. Several kids did not attend the interviews.

As soon as I got the schedule, I emailed the School Principal (who is also the Parish Coordinator of Religious Education) and said we would be gone and asked for further instruction.

She said "have a good vacation and we'll address it when you get back."

I never hear anything else.

The principal approached my MIL, who teaches at the school, and tells her DS can't make his first communion because he didn't have his interview and it was my responsibility to arrange it with the priest when I got back, and she told me such.  She did not.  I have email.

MY MIL tells me this.  I tell her I was never told, tell her the contents of the email, and tell MIL basically the Principal can go fuck herself because I'm sick of her half assed, disorganized, too little too late, and lying to cover her own ass (this is part of the reason the school has declining enrollment and is closing)

MIL tells Principal "I don't think she really cares if DS makes first communion and she was never told to make the arrangements." 

Principal then remembers she has to send a "reminder email" to the parents of the kids who were on vacation to schedule the appointment, and copies the priest.

I get the reminder email and submit and schedule the interview, while the spiteful part of me wants to blow it off.  I did, however, make it clear to the priest this was my first notification what I needed to do.

Do I file a written complaint with the Diocese about her uselessness, or just quietly let the school close and get on with my life?   Like I said, everything she does is half assed and late.

[Deleted]

Become a Jew. They are on top of everything.

[swamp]

Apr 30, 2014 10:54:31 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

Become a Jew. They are on top of everything.

The principal would still be a useless piece of crap.

[Deleted]

Oh yeah, the school is closing. I think that is all the diocese should need to know the principal is a screw up. If they don't know that yet, a complaint from you probably won't help, but couldn't hurt.

[The Captain]

Is your kid getting a good education?

If so, then I'd be a bit more picky about my battles.

(FWIW - our principal also drops the ball quite often.  We usually get our school calendar about a month before school starts, usually about 18+ months AFTER the public school publishes their calendar.  Gives us plenty of time to arrange busing, childcare, etc )

[giramomma]

I'm sorry Swamp. I'd let it go.

What are you doing for religious ed? Your DD should be getting her first Holy Communion next year, right? I'd probably not stir the pot too much on account of that. Will you still do religious Ed after you are done with First Holy Communions?

And, WTF about scheduling meetings with the priest over break.

How long has your principal been principal? At our school (also catholic), principals are simply principals and get a 3 year contract. If the head priest is unhappy with the principal, there's no contract renewal. We are on our 2nd principal, and I'm not sure he will have his contract renewed, either.

[swamp]

What are you doing for religious ed? Your DD should be getting her first Holy Communion next year, right? I'd probably not stir the pot too much on account of that. Will you still do religious Ed after you are done with First Holy Communions?

Right now, it's part of the school curriculum.  Next year when they are at public school, there is a Sunday morning program for the kids who don't go to the Catholic School.  I will send them to that.   I will still do religious ed, probably until confirmation.  Then they can make their own decisions.

And, WTF about scheduling meetings with the priest over break.

No kidding.  Like nobody ever goes on vacation during spring break.

How long has your principal been principal? At our school (also catholic), principals are simply principals and get a 3 year contract. If the head priest is unhappy with the principal, there's no contract renewal. We are on our 2nd principal, and I'm not sure he will have his contract renewed, either.

5 or 6 years, I think.   She's done this year when the school closes.  She is applying for the position of Diocesian Director of Education, which is equivalent to the Superintendent of School for the Diocese.  

[justme]

I think you said the school is closing at the end of the school year? If that's right, then since you won't be there next year I'd be less concerned about pissing someone off. And maybe someone might figure out a big reason why the school is closing and fix it?

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

Right now, it's part of the school curriculum.  Next year when they are at public school, there is a Sunday morning program for the kids who don't go to the Catholic School.  I will send them to that.   I will still do religious ed, probably until confirmation.  Then they can make their own decisions.

Shouldn't you be educating them on ALL the religions so they can make a truly informed decision? 

[swamp]

Apr 30, 2014 11:13:54 GMT -5 minnesotapaintlady said:

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

Right now, it's part of the school curriculum.  Next year when they are at public school, there is a Sunday morning program for the kids who don't go to the Catholic School.  I will send them to that.   I will still do religious ed, probably until confirmation.  Then they can make their own decisions.

Shouldn't you be educating them on ALL the religions so they can make a truly informed decision? 

Yes I should, but that's a lot of work. Easier to show them the one I know.

[giramomma]

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

How long has your principal been principal? At our school (also catholic), principals are simply principals and get a 3 year contract. If the head priest is unhappy with the principal, there's no contract renewal. We are on our 2nd principal, and I'm not sure he will have his contract renewed, either.

5 or 6 years, I think.   She's done this year when the school closes.  She is applying for the position of Diocesian Director of Education, which is equivalent to the Superintendent of School for the Diocese.  

Then, yes, yes I would voice your concerns. 

[alabamagal]

I would just let it go.

The school is closing next year anyway.  She will either be out of a job, or someone else's problem.

Just wait until you get to public schools, then your complaints will be even more useless.

[Deleted]

Why all the public school hate? My kids go to public school and I am very pleased with the curriculum and the staff. 

[muttleynfelix]

Apr 30, 2014 11:22:02 GMT -5 giramomma said:

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

How long has your principal been principal? At our school (also catholic), principals are simply principals and get a 3 year contract. If the head priest is unhappy with the principal, there's no contract renewal. We are on our 2nd principal, and I'm not sure he will have his contract renewed, either.

5 or 6 years, I think.   She's done this year when the school closes.  She is applying for the position of Diocesian Director of Education, which is equivalent to the Superintendent of School for the Diocese.  

Then, yes, yes I would voice your concerns. 

If she was just going to go away at the end of the year, I would have dropped it, but I think it needs to be brought up if she is trying to apply for a higher up job.

[giramomma]

Apr 30, 2014 11:45:48 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

Why all the public school hate? My kids go to public school and I am very pleased with the curriculum and the staff. 

Because I can't send my kids to an elementary school that 80% of of the population is low income and where there is a position called Parent/Teacher Liaison, and that liaison does things like drive a parent to a drs appointment. The liaisons also drive parents to job interviews, that I can at sort of deal with. But the school system hiring someone to drive parents to drs appointments is a tough, tough pill to swallow. I'm not sure how someone driving susie's parent to a drs appointment helps educate the kids.

I don't want my kids to have a police presence in school in grades 6-8.

The other option was to buy a half million dollar house and get into one of the two best elementary schools. We make 70K per year, and do have enough that we could have made such a purchase and ended up with a reasonable mortgage (200K). However, I did not want to be house poor and put all our retirement savings into a house. Besides, we would have looked a little out of place.

Look, I don't hate public schools. But, our public school system is a mess at the elementary school level. My district does not know how to deal with urban issues. Instead of dealing with the issues when they were smaller, they chose to put their head in the sand and ignore it.  (I bolded this last part, lest you think I'm some person that's into the status of private school. I don't have the energy to fight to redistrict our elementary school. I don't have the energy to fight how the school board and the superintendent are treating our elementary school kids. I have no problems with kids from the hood. We lived in the hood until a few years ago. My problem is that the school system cannot effectively teach these kids, and I don't want my kids to be in a class, statistically, where half the kids cannot read at grade level. I would rather be the poor folk at a private school where the kids can all read, do math at grade level, and there's no discipline issues.)

The high schools are really quite, quite good. As soon as my schedule lightens up a little (read, I'm done being den leader 8ish more months), I plan to go to the elementary school we were supposed to attend to volunteer to help kids read. I've only got so many hours in a day, and I need to tend to my family first.

In my school system, a black male has a 50% chance of graduating high school and also has a 50% chance of landing in jail.. It's not like that kid is performing ahead of his peers from grades K-8 (reading and doing math at grade level) and then wakes up one day as a freshman in HS and decides to throw it out the window because JAIL is a much better proposition then getting a HS education.

[simser]

My dad is the principal of a catholic school... I would say that in the diocese where he works it is all based on who you know, and I've never heard of a parent complaint making much of a difference. (He's on the outs of the diocese but the school loves him...and he's organized!!).

So I wouldn't bother

[tcu2003]

I'd file a written complaint since she's applying for another position in education in the diocese. It would make me feel better, and I can also be mean and spiteful like that.

[zibazinski]

I gotta tell you. DF hates the principal  at his temples religious school.  Rabbi's wife and she sucks, he says. They've lost a lot of future and present Jews because of her. 

[NastyWoman]

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

.   She's done this year when the school closes.  She is applying for the position of Diocesian Director of Education, which is equivalent to the Superintendent of School for the Diocese.  

Send the complaint and attach the emails.  She shouldn't be let loose near any other school related function ever again

[Deleted]

Apr 30, 2014 14:19:46 GMT -5 NastyWoman said:

Apr 30, 2014 11:09:49 GMT -5 swamp said:

.   She's done this year when the school closes.  She is applying for the position of Diocesian Director of Education, which is equivalent to the Superintendent of School for the Diocese.  

Send the complaint and attach the emails.  She shouldn't be let loose near any other school related function ever again

I don't know.  Isn't the Catholic way to promote the trouble makers.

[bookkeeper]

Whenever someone complains to me about the Catholic Church, I tell them they can switch teams and try being a Lutheran for a while. We had an intern several years back that said it best, "We didn't take our faith from the Catholic Church, rather our faith left many things from the Catholic Church behind."

Wherever you find 4 Lutherans, there is usually a fifth!

[vonna]

Meh. Since the school is closing, send your kids to public school and raise them like heathens.

It will be much easier.

[milee]

I was raised Christian but have experience in several other religions as well. Like and dislike bits of all of them. We wanted to raise the kids with morals but outside a church environment to let them decide about a particular religion when they were older, since I think it's very tough for a person to make a choice or engage in critical thinking if they've been raised only one way.

But I'm starting to realize we may have gone too far in being hands off with religion. The other day when we attended the Baptism of a friend, my younger son asked me what "sin" was. So he might need a little more info...

[Phoenix84]

I would personally just let it go and les the school close.

[alabamagal]

Apr 30, 2014 11:45:48 GMT -5 @beerwench said:

Why all the public school hate? My kids go to public school and I am very pleased with the curriculum and the staff. 

Well my first issue with the public school here was that they would not accept my youngest child into Kindergarten because he missed the school cuttoff by 13 days (he was born 14 days passed his due date, if he had been a preemie he would have been in school no problem).  There was no way he was staying home another year.  And we were not into forgery.  So he went into private K-5 and was always at the top of his class (still is in his 2nd year of college).

My other issues with the public schools here are similar to what giramomma says.

My main point in my original comment is that you have much more influence as a parent in private schools (they want youur money) than in public schools.

[swamp]

Apr 30, 2014 14:40:19 GMT -5 bookkeeper said:

Whenever someone complains to me about the Catholic Church, I tell them they can switch teams and try being a Lutheran for a while. We had an intern several years back that said it best, "We didn't take our faith from the Catholic Church, rather our faith left many things from the Catholic Church behind."

Wherever you find 4 Lutherans, there is usually a fifth!

Have you ever been to a Knights of Columbus hall?

[bookkeeper]

Only for dance lessons. Thanks goodness there were cocktails at intermission time.

[Shooby]

You have several options:

1.  Complain, write a written complaint, go up to the school and complain further, etc.
2.  Move your kid to a new school.
3.  Keep your kid in this school.
4.  Let it go and realize the whole world doesn't revolve around what you think and that your kid's life will probably go on just fine even with a lousy Principal and save yourself the aggravation.
5.  Drink a bunch of wine coolers with your gal pals and blow off steam

Sooo, mix and match some/none or all of the above!

[Deleted]

May 1, 2014 8:54:45 GMT -5 Shooby said:

You have several options:

1.  Complain, write a written complaint, go up to the school and complain further, etc.
2.  Move your kid to a new school.
3.  Keep your kid in this school.
4.  Let it go and realize the whole world doesn't revolve around what you think and that your kid's life will probably go on just fine even with a lousy Principal and save yourself the aggravation.
5.  Drink a bunch of wine coolers with your gal pals and blow off steam

Sooo, mix and match some/none or all of the above!

The school is closing anyhow, so 2 is a given and 3 and 4 are NA.  So, it's between complain or get drunk!  I say get drunk, THEN complain.  

[Deleted]

It's the American way!