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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2014 15:20:40 GMT -5
It's a little scary to read about the number of enabling parents that continue to support their lazy offspring well into adulthood.
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bean29
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Post by bean29 on Apr 30, 2014 17:08:11 GMT -5
So she only has her kids half of the time, doesn't work, but she's always saying that things are hectic! I kind of find that bullshitty to say. My mother has been retired for 20 years and she STILL says things like this to me. "I could BARELY finish the laundry today I was SOOOO busy!!!" I want to reach through the phone and throttle her senseless. I guess it's all perspective. I kind of agree with WI Beth, when I am home I feel like I didn't get anything done so I might as well be at work. Most days before I leave for work I do some laundry and dishes. I have a SIL who works about 10-12 hours a week. Whe was complaining on FB last weekend about having so much laundry to do on the weekend. Hello, just do what the rest of us do, and do a load every day. This SIL is Trustee of her Dad's $$. We think they are living on his $$. My MIL and one of my SIL are stay at homes that are meant to stay at home. Both have worked in the past and guess what? They were hard workers on the job too. Go Figure.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 30, 2014 17:16:48 GMT -5
The lack of ambition in some people is absolutely astounding. I talk to some teens ready to graduate from HS and they have no real interest to do anything. I don't understand it. I was chomping at the bit to go to college and couldn't wait to learn new things and take on the world. I see people who really have no interest in anything other than what they are going to eat, what time they will poop, and what's on TV. It seems like a sad, pathetic existence.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2014 17:19:28 GMT -5
I Didn't appreciate working until I couldn't anymore fir health reasons. Now I miss it desperately
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Apr 30, 2014 17:31:27 GMT -5
So she only has her kids half of the time, doesn't work, but she's always saying that things are hectic! I kind of find that bullshitty to say. My mother has been retired for 20 years and she STILL says things like this to me. "I could BARELY finish the laundry today I was SOOOO busy!!!"
I want to reach through the phone and throttle her senseless. I guess it's all perspective. I'm retired and I just don't do laundry I am sooooo busy!!!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2014 17:46:59 GMT -5
The lack of ambition in some people is absolutely astounding. I talk to some teens ready to graduate from HS and they have no real interest to do anything. I don't understand it. I was chomping at the bit to go to college and couldn't wait to learn new things and take on the world. I see people who really have no interest in anything other than what they are going to eat, what time they will poop, and what's on TV. It seems like a sad, pathetic existence. I probably shouldn't say this around YM'ers, but I understand how people can be less than ambitious. I'm kind of one of those people. I'm interested in lots of things, working isn't one of them. Work is a necessary (and I do believe it's necessary) evil. I've never had a burning desire to go into a certain field or make a name for myself in a certain industry. I've racked my brain countless times, trying to figure out what I enjoy doing so much that I'd like to make a go at earning a living doing it. As soon as I attach those stipulations to anything, it doesn't seem like so much fun anymore. Having said that, I got my first part time job at 17. I wanted to, but my Mom wouldn't let me work before then. I got my first full-tiime job around 23, when my ex and I broke up and I had 2 babies to take care of. That was almost 20 years ago and I've been working full-time, sometimes overtime, ever since. When I got my current job, I didn't quit my old job for several months. So I've even worked 2 jobs before. Yes, while I say I'm lazy and it's true that I'm not a career oriented go-getter, I still do what has to be done. I don't have much sympathy for people that are mentally and physically healthy and just can't be bothered to work. I don't want to watch anyone starve to death, but there's some merit in the saying that if you don't work, you don't eat.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Apr 30, 2014 18:23:52 GMT -5
And now, on the other hand...
I work with a very smart and hardworking young widow with two or three children over the age of 14 who is receiving social security survivor benefits. She definitely has the brains to explain her various benefits to me -- I can easily imagine her using the words "marginal benefit from working" -- and she's a darn fine optimizer of her time and doesn't appear to be a user of other people. She has trouble keeping her hours and wages down to a level where her benefits aren't cut.
I've never pressed her too hard for the details since I figure that she has the right to some sort of financial privacy and that pressing her too hard might reveal something that she probably shouldn't mention. (She used to work a different job, with different hours, under a total jerk, and she had to outright quit before switching to this job, so this might not be entirely about income restrictions.)
I'm pretty confident that her claims of gaining nothing with additional wage income are truthful. I don't think this is a case where childcare and transportation expenses eat up small gains from additional income. I think that she really does go negative if she makes too much.
Could that be the case here?
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Apr 30, 2014 20:54:43 GMT -5
The lack of ambition in some people is absolutely astounding. I talk to some teens ready to graduate from HS and they have no real interest to do anything. I don't understand it. I was chomping at the bit to go to college and couldn't wait to learn new things and take on the world. I see people who really have no interest in anything other than what they are going to eat, what time they will poop, and what's on TV. It seems like a sad, pathetic existence. I probably shouldn't say this around YM'ers, but I understand how people can be less than ambitious. I'm kind of one of those people. I'm interested in lots of things, working isn't one of them. Work is a necessary (and I do believe it's necessary) evil. I've never had a burning desire to go into a certain field or make a name for myself in a certain industry. I've racked my brain countless times, trying to figure out what I enjoy doing so much that I'd like to make a go at earning a living doing it. As soon as I attach those stipulations to anything, it doesn't seem like so much fun anymore. Having said that, I got my first part time job at 17. I wanted to, but my Mom wouldn't let me work before then. I got my first full-tiime job around 23, when my ex and I broke up and I had 2 babies to take care of. That was almost 20 years ago and I've been working full-time, sometimes overtime, ever since. When I got my current job, I didn't quit my old job for several months. So I've even worked 2 jobs before. Yes, while I say I'm lazy and it's true that I'm not a career oriented go-getter, I still do what has to be done. I don't have much sympathy for people that are mentally and physically healthy and just can't be bothered to work. I don't want to watch anyone starve to death, but there's some merit in the saying that if you don't work, you don't eat. I understand what you are saying. And at this point in life I am done feeling like I have something to prove. Been there , done that , got the t shirt.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 30, 2014 20:55:13 GMT -5
My cousin has 50/50 custody of the kids so she does not get any child support.
She doesn't get any social security benefits either.
All I can guess is that she got her Earned Income Tax Credit and decided she could quit working for a while.
What's funny is, she calls herself a teacher! She was an office assistant at her last job, and not even for a school.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on Apr 30, 2014 22:04:52 GMT -5
I think that you're probably correct in suspecting that an EITC-triggered tax refund had something to do with her quitting. At the level of income that you've alluded to (20 hrs/wk at mediocre wages) it can be a big check even if you don't claim qualifying children or if you only had income during part of the year. It's also difficult/tricky/or impossible to adjust one's federal withholding to avoid the refund when your income is low enough.
Is it too prying to ask if this living-with-parents and earning little thing is new or whether it has been going on for years? How are the kids getting healthcare coverage?
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on May 1, 2014 0:52:47 GMT -5
Maybe, but it could also be programming.
My MIL gave my husband a wonderful childhood and raised a good man. That doesn't happen if you're lazy.
But the woman I'm dealing with is a lazy cow who has absolutely no respect for honest work and would rather kill her husband than give up any of her playtime (and almost did). She talks endlessly about how lazy and worthless the man who is supporting her is and how wonderful she is because she sits on her fat ass and plays with crafts. If you even dare to mention the obvious fact that she has more leisure time than anyone else, she goes into hysterics. She managed to turn her youngest son, who is 8 years younger than DH, into a blood sucking parasite like she is. The first two of her kids turned out ok, and I have to wonder how the youngest would have turned out if he had been a little older when his mother turned into what she is now.
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2014 5:54:55 GMT -5
I think that you're probably correct in suspecting that an EITC-triggered tax refund had something to do with her quitting. At the level of income that you've alluded to (20 hrs/wk at mediocre wages) it can be a big check even if you don't claim qualifying children or if you only had income during part of the year. It's also difficult/tricky/or impossible to adjust one's federal withholding to avoid the refund when your income is low enough. Is it too prying to ask if this living-with-parents and earning little thing is new or whether it has been going on for years? How are the kids getting healthcare coverage? Living in the parents house has been going on for at least five years. Before that, her and the kids lived with her boyfriend. She quit a teaching job after she moved in with the boyfriend which was probably about eight years ago. (But she calls herself a teacher. ) Gee . . . . I wonder why the boyfriend kicked her out. She told me they are on the "free" healthcare insurance from the state.
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milee
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Post by milee on May 1, 2014 6:22:36 GMT -5
My cousin has 50/50 custody of the kids so she does not get any child support. She doesn't get any social security benefits either. All I can guess is that she got her Earned Income Tax Credit and decided she could quit working for a while. What's funny is, she calls herself a teacher! She was an office assistant at her last job, and not even for a school. There was a letter to the editor in the Wall Street Journal a couple of days ago from a SAHM who instead of saying she was a SAHM had some very fancy job description she used - something along the lines of child development specialist and facilitator. She noticed that when people at parties asked what she did if she replied "stay at home mom" the people adopted a slightly pained look and quickly moved on to talk to other guests but if she used her fancy title, they'd instead respond with interest and ask to hear more. Maybe the cousin is has discovered that teacher is more socially acceptable than SAHM (stay at home mooch in her case.)
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on May 1, 2014 6:34:08 GMT -5
I also don't only mean ambition in the sense of a career. But, there are some young people who seem very content to just Couch Surf through life. That they don't even want to "stuff" enough to make the effort to work for it. Stuff like material things or stuff like their own space, car, apt, etc.
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 1, 2014 10:14:37 GMT -5
My cousin is in her 40s and doesn't last at a job very long. Things come up that she wants to do, so she quits. Her last job was 20 hours a week (day time) but they weren't hours she wanted. She wanted to pick her own hours . . . so she quit. She has a bachelor's degree in teaching. She is single with three teenagers. She does not have a pot to piss in. She lives in her parent's house. I have no idea where she gets money for gas, clothes, food, concerts, trips, etc. What is it? Responsibility? Lazy? Crazy? What will her kids be like? Asking this question for...ever!
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tloonya
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Post by tloonya on May 1, 2014 12:35:46 GMT -5
I can't handle working. ... Can I quit? Sure you can. Just check balance in checking account like I did I developed a severe case of anal glaucoma!! I could seriously lose a bet if I bet that there is no such 'condition'...however there is: 12.Anal Glaucoma When your ass can't differentiate what it likes to wink at. Like not realizing they are doing it to someone from the same sex. A guy tells another guy "Hey that's a nice shirt" and then proceed to wink at him with his anal glaucoma.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 1, 2014 12:47:19 GMT -5
Sure you can. Just check balance in checking account like I did I developed a severe case of anal glaucoma!! I could seriously lose a bet if I bet that there is no such 'condition'...however there is: 12.Anal Glaucoma When your ass can't differentiate what it likes to wink at. Like not realizing they are doing it to someone from the same sex. A guy tells another guy "Hey that's a nice shirt" and then proceed to wink at him with his anal glaucoma. Actually in my case anal glaucoma translates to: I can't see my ass coming to work
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achelois
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Post by achelois on May 1, 2014 12:57:38 GMT -5
I could seriously lose a bet if I bet that there is no such 'condition'...however there is: 12.Anal Glaucoma When your ass can't differentiate what it likes to wink at. Like not realizing they are doing it to someone from the same sex. A guy tells another guy "Hey that's a nice shirt" and then proceed to wink at him with his anal glaucoma. Actually in my case anal glaucoma translates to: I can't see my ass coming to work Well, THIS thread has gone downhill...
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 1, 2014 13:07:37 GMT -5
Actually in my case anal glaucoma translates to: I can't see my ass coming to work Well, THIS thread has gone downhill... Actually I started to derail it on page one but decided to wait till page two
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2014 13:47:57 GMT -5
Next we will have to get out the poop scale!
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on May 1, 2014 15:49:37 GMT -5
I do think there is a fairly sizable subset of the population that doesn't work, or at least work in the tradiational full time job scenerio.
Honestly, I have very little interaction with this population, but I have no doubt they are.
For example, I know of a lot of guys who will work construction type jobs in the summer and then take the entire winter off and go on unemployment. There's also A LOT of folks getting disability payments out there.
My dad has a cousin who "retired" in his 30's. He inherited a tiny house from his parents and lived off their inheritance. When that ran out he works just enough to cover his expenses. Plus I think there are fair number of people out there getting money from inheritances, divorces, the government, insurance payouts, court settlements, mooching from friends/family/SO's or some combination of these things. As a result, they don't work or otherwise don't work much.
I know of some guys (and I'm sure women do this to) who don't work and don't have a pot to piss in but always seems to find a string of women to move in with and live off of. I have no idea how they manage to do it or find women willing to do that, but they're out there. I have a cousin who does this, and an uncle.
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 1, 2014 15:50:14 GMT -5
I am too.
If I had a nice fat trust fund or a husband who earned the big bucks, I can totally see myself spending my days working in my garden, reading, doing crafts, taking naps, etc.
However, I don't have a fat trust fund and I have a fabulous husband who has a social work degree and therefore earns squat, so in order to enjoy the lifestyle I want I've had to work since I graduated college.
I have two sisters who decided they didn't want to work, one of them just stopped working and sat around until she was finally able to get on disability (I don't know what for). She apparently didn't mind being extremely poor. The other sister was fortunate to have a husband with a pretty good paying job and he supported her being a SAHM for nearly ten years, but I found out today she is finally having to go back to work full time, and she is miserable.
I totally understand, wish I could not have to work, too, but I can't handle being poor more than I can't handle working.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on May 1, 2014 15:54:02 GMT -5
I think that you're probably correct in suspecting that an EITC-triggered tax refund had something to do with her quitting. At the level of income that you've alluded to (20 hrs/wk at mediocre wages) it can be a big check even if you don't claim qualifying children or if you only had income during part of the year. It's also difficult/tricky/or impossible to adjust one's federal withholding to avoid the refund when your income is low enough. Is it too prying to ask if this living-with-parents and earning little thing is new or whether it has been going on for years? How are the kids getting healthcare coverage? Haapai, isn't the EIC with no qualifying child maxxed out at $496? Is that a big check?
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on May 1, 2014 17:43:13 GMT -5
I think that you're probably correct in suspecting that an EITC-triggered tax refund had something to do with her quitting. At the level of income that you've alluded to (20 hrs/wk at mediocre wages) it can be a big check even if you don't claim qualifying children or if you only had income during part of the year. It's also difficult/tricky/or impossible to adjust one's federal withholding to avoid the refund when your income is low enough. Is it too prying to ask if this living-with-parents and earning little thing is new or whether it has been going on for years? How are the kids getting healthcare coverage? Haapai, isn't the EIC with no qualifying child maxxed out at $496? Is that a big check? Nope, but it is free money if you didn't have fed tax wh from your wages. I drew SS early and had someone ask me to help them out with data imput - just enough work till job was done. I filed exempt on W-2 since knowing I probably wouldn't make enough to matter even if I owed. Person doing my returns emailed me and said I had a refund coming. I'm like "WHAT" and called her. She explained the EIC. I couldn't believe it. She did tell me that if I should continue to work and not make a lot that is what happens. Oh, but she also said it would stop when I hit 65. And I think the check was around $400 something - it was years ago. Big check - no just gravy!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 1, 2014 17:55:52 GMT -5
I do think there is a fairly sizable subset of the population that doesn't work, or at least work in the tradiational full time job scenerio.
Let's explore this a little bit.... What is Actully the tradition of 'full time job'... Who had them, what hours did they work... Etc. For some reason I not think our definitions of full time job ARE necessarily 'traditional' ...
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hurley1980
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Post by hurley1980 on May 1, 2014 18:54:04 GMT -5
I'm not incredibly ambitious. I was one of those kids who graduated high school, spend the next few years working part time, taking classes here and there at the community college, and either living at home or with a number of friends in crappy apartments. But one thing I AM is a worker. I actually cannot imagine myself not working unless I won the lottery or something, and even then I would probably have a part time fun job like working at Macy's 10 hours a week for the discount or something. I just get too bored not working. I start missing work about 4 days into a week vacation. I know it sounds weird, but I need something to fill my days or else I would get depressed and sit around eating and boozing it up all day.
I will never understand people who are content just sitting around. I have numerous cousins, friends, and a few ex bf's - including my ex fiance who are perfectly happy mooching off other people and not doing shit with themselves. It confuses me to all hell! I also watched my dad leave my mom for another woman after she hadn't worked for 12 years as a SAHM. Her and I were below poverty poor for many years as she struggled to support herself without a man, and because of that, I refuse to ever let myself get in that position. Even if my husband started making millions a year and told me I didnt have to work, I still wouldnt quit.
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haapai
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Post by haapai on May 1, 2014 19:54:09 GMT -5
It was a huge amount of money at the time. The state and federal refunds both hit my account right around V-day and I was looking at an amount that was four times the weekly paychecks that I had been getting. Not understanding withholding had doubled the size of the refunds. I'm a lot more embarrassed by that than I am in once thinking that $900 was a big deal.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on May 2, 2014 10:55:37 GMT -5
I do think there is a fairly sizable subset of the population that doesn't work, or at least work in the tradiational full time job scenerio.
Let's explore this a little bit.... What is Actully the tradition of 'full time job'... Who had them, what hours did they work... Etc. For some reason I not think our definitions of full time job ARE necessarily 'traditional' ... When I use the term "traditional" full time job I mean a job where you work close to 40 hours a week (or more but at least 30). The hours don't really matter much as folks work all kinds of hours. There's also the understanding in my mind that it's a "permanent" position, meaning not seasonal or contract. They keep you on until they lay you off, fire you, or you quit. So examples of traditional full time jobs would be like a nurse full time nights or weekends, or a accountant working a traditional 9-5. Examples of non traditional full time jobs might be a construction worker who works 60+ hours a week during the summer, but gets laid off and is unemployed all winter.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on May 2, 2014 12:06:46 GMT -5
I am too. If I had a nice fat trust fund or a husband who earned the big bucks, I can totally see myself spending my days working in my garden, reading, doing crafts, taking naps, etc. However, I don't have a fat trust fund and I have a fabulous husband who has a social work degree is a soldier and therefore earns squat, so in order to enjoy the lifestyle I want I've had to work since I graduated college. Fixed!
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 2, 2014 13:24:02 GMT -5
To me a nontraditional job would be one that is sort of a freelancer, where you get paid by the hour or by the job. A dog walker, a babysitter, a housecleaner all come to mind. Or a writer who lives off writing magazine articles. Where you don't have a traditional 'boss' and a traditional 'workplace.'
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