Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Apr 24, 2014 9:22:27 GMT -5
I've never been discrimated against. At least that I know of. I have worked with women who think they have been discrimated against because they are female, but they really weren't. They were passed over for promotions because they were obnoxious man-haters. One lady swore that the men in the office stood outside the restroom door to listen to her pee. The restroom door in right by the scanner, postage meter and assignment baskets so people were in the area a lot...but not to listen to her pee. I was out there a lot and it sure wasn't to listen to her pee. Another woman swore she was getting a smaller piece of cake (at a retirement party) because she was female.
The women I know in the work place get passed over because of the way they act - not because they have a vagina. I think some people don't want to face the fact they are just obnoxious and nasty so they blame their failures on others.
I've also worked with men who have been passed over for promotions that have been given to women. They cry about "quotas". No. That's not it. You are an azzhat and she isn't. You work harder at getting out of work instead of just doing it. She doesn't.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Apr 24, 2014 9:26:08 GMT -5
Because I don't want to stay here. There is no way my dad will pass my brother over for me. He has serious blinders on when it comes to my brother. My brother and I HATE each other. There is no way we could be business partners without killing each other. I find me to be a complete waste of oxygen and I thinks I'm a raging bitch.
Plus I get antsy after 4 or 5 years in one place. We promised the Boy we'd stay in town until he graduates from high school (he is a sophomore). As soon as he graduates the house is going on the market and we are moving. DH has moved back to the town we are in now twice for me (once in 2000 and again in 2009). He was promoted up to corporate and is commuting around 60 miles each way to and from work. His company is expanding and is actively recruiting people to move to their new offices. If he walked in today and said he'd be willing to move to San Antonio or North Dakota they would dance a jig. So when the kid graduates the current plan is to move to the Twin Cities or wherever else strikes our fancy. He loves the company he works for and would like to stay with them.
It does feel out of my nature to be so passive. But I've got a plan. I'm socking away money so that in a year we will have zero debt and we'll have money set aside for the Boy's college (plus DH will be done with his degree). So I am biding my time for 2 more years.
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 24, 2014 9:31:57 GMT -5
Sheila, does your dad have some visions of a dynasty operating the company or something? Because I think I'd feel obligated, under most circumstances, to point out to dad that a lot of people don't get along with with brother and are not going to want to hire him. I'd say it once and let it drop for good.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Apr 24, 2014 10:24:18 GMT -5
Beth- Oh I've pointed it out to him a few times. He keeps living under the delusion that DBro will "rise to the occasion". He won't. That's why I plan to leave the city when the handing over of the reigns happens. I want to be nowhere near here when the shit hits the fan.
My dad is highly regarded in our industry and is very well respected. Unfortunately my brother has been following dear old dad around for years and has established a reputation of being a horse's ass. He screams, swears, throws things, threatens people, etc. It would take more than both hands to count the number of customers who have left because of my brother. When I bring it up I hear excuse after excuse. At this point dad has openly admitted that no one else would hire my brother and if my dad doesn't keep him employed here than he will end up living in my parents basement. I work for a different company but we share an office building and my employer "rents" me out to the other company to do their bookkeeping. It's a long convoluted situation and I am seriously only staying at this point for the paycheck. I don't have a bad attitude around the customers and employees but I know I can't stay long term. It wouldn't be a good fit for me.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 24, 2014 10:27:42 GMT -5
Unfortunately my brother has been following dear old dad around for years and has established a reputation of being a horse's ass. He screams, swears, throws things, threatens people, etc
Sounds like Colin Farrel in Horrible Bosses
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Wisconsin Beth
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No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Apr 24, 2014 10:30:29 GMT -5
Ok, then you've gone what I consider "due diligence" in reporting it. So you can watch the shit hit the fan from a safe distance and gloat about it.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 10:33:10 GMT -5
Even at my current job, I had one person demand a meeting with my boss to complain that I blow up documents on my monitor so I can see them better. What kind of person does that? I hope your boss told them to mind their own business. I don't know. My boss at the time called me into the meeting and I explained my medical condition. I shouldn't have had to, but they backed off after that. I'm not sure I'd call it discrimination though, just people being thoughtless. They aren't the same thing.
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wyouser
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Post by wyouser on Apr 24, 2014 10:33:16 GMT -5
Always and everywhere as far back as I can remember. In school, "NO, NO , NO...your letters all slant the wrong way, you can't write like that!" In baseball, "No, No, No, you are throwing with the wrong hand and trying to catch the ball with the wrong hand!" In basketball, "Hey, Do those layups with the other hand!" In archery, "Hold it, your holding that bow backwards!" "Switch hands!" In bowling< "Stop, stop, stop! Your approach is all wrong. Get that ball in your other hand!" "Whats wrong with you! Your shoelaces are all screwed up! You aren't tying them right!" "What the hell do you call that knot?" That's not how you tie a tie!" Then there were years of school desks cut to fit right handers. Computor keyboards with the calculator numbers placed uselessly on the right side! In the words of Rodney Dangerfield, Lefthanders just can't ever get any respect!
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 10:43:01 GMT -5
My first day of work as a baggage handler was eye-opening. This guy walked up to me, pointed at me and said, "I don't like you and you don't belong here." I couldn't even come up with a reply. This was the mid 80s and we weren't welcome. Even our manager told us that he didn't want to hire any women, but HR told him he had to.
It was a miserable work environment, but none of us were going to give up. One girl said she threw up on the way to work every day until she was off probation. I never got that nervous, but I was close.
They did everything they could think of to make us quit. I'm happy to report that we all made it through and retirement isn't too far off. Sticking it out was the best revenge. Are things better now in the 21st century?
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Apr 24, 2014 10:43:13 GMT -5
I don't know that I have ever been discriminated against but have experience what some might consider borderline sexual harassment. I am not a very sensitive person so not really a big deal to me personally; however, I told our President that she might want to have a discussion with these 2 "good old boys" about some of the comments they make because someone else might not be as easy going as myself.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Apr 24, 2014 10:54:15 GMT -5
Unfortunately my brother has been following dear old dad around for years and has established a reputation of being a horse's ass. He screams, swears, throws things, threatens people, etcSounds like Colin Farrel in Horrible Bosses Yes YES YES- that's exactly who my brother is. Less hair if that's possible. I remember when we saw that movie my husband said "OMG, it's your brother" and for months people would tell me that they saw that movie and Colin Farrel's character reminded them of my brother.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 11:12:22 GMT -5
There are a few times I haven't been taken seriously because of my age, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it discrimination. I was recently in a meeting where an older white man said something mildly racist, then (upon seeing our black admin assistant) said "oh I hope that didn't offend you. My college roommate was black so I'm not racist!" Hmmm, I'm not sure I would have said "my college roomate was black, so I'm not racist." I'm not saying you're racist, but the first ones people suspect of being racist are those who proclaim they aren't. I think you should have stopped at the "I hope that didn't offend you" remark.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 24, 2014 11:17:59 GMT -5
There are a few times I haven't been taken seriously because of my age, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it discrimination. I was recently in a meeting where an older white man said something mildly racist, then (upon seeing our black admin assistant) said "oh I hope that didn't offend you. My college roommate was black so I'm not racist!" Hmmm, I'm not sure I would have said "my college roomate was black, so I'm not racist." I'm not saying you're racist, but the first ones people suspect of being racist are those who proclaim they aren't. I think you should have stopped at the "I hope that didn't offend you" remark. I didn't say that, the older gentleman did. I agree that if you preface something with "I'm not racist" or "Not to be racist" and then continue speaking, you're probably saying something racist!
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 24, 2014 11:21:12 GMT -5
I haven't been discriminated against directly but I did work with someone who very much hated women. At first I thought it was me personally but when I talked to others who had to deal with him we noticed for the first time we happened to all be women. There was a long string of women techs he'd abused.
He also made a comment to another PI that that PI should fire a friend of mien who had been working for him for 7+ years after she had her first kid because "Mothers don't make good workers" and bragged about how he got his tech canned as soon as he found out she was pregnant.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 11:24:06 GMT -5
I've seen statistics stating that 1 in 5 American workers have felt they have faced some sort of discrimination in the workplace. What about you? Have you ever felt discriminated against, for any reason, at work or elsewhere? If so, what were the circumstances? ...yes... we're evangelical Christians and have been ridiculed/passed over in the secular work world since obviously we're loony tunes for believing in such mishmash... meanwhile, some churches have just plain said that they wanted only certain genders doing certain work... so, c'est la vie... Hmmm, I'm a Christian and can't really say I've personally ever felt discriminated against, at least in "real life." I don't really discuss religion at work, and I don't think any of my co workers even know I'm a Christian. I have noted however, from reading various articles and online comments and message boards (not this one), that there is a lot of hostility towards Christians out there though. I've seen a great deal of dehumanizing language, which is a common theme before violence and discrimination occur, but no, I've never felt discriminated against because of my faith.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Apr 24, 2014 11:31:05 GMT -5
Yes, we are trying to kill Christmas by saying Happy Holidays
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justme
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Post by justme on Apr 24, 2014 11:34:32 GMT -5
I found out I was in my first job at a drug store. After I had been there for a year, new management had come in (third round!) and hired a guy. I forgot how I found out, I think he had left his paystub around or was blabbing, and found out he was making more than me. Wasn't much, only like $0.20 or so. I talked to management about it and they said it was because he had experience before he came here. I pointed out that I had a year of experience at THIS store and was the person who trained him on most things. They didn't budge then, but I did notice a while later I did get a raise. Though it also coincided with the normal raise every 6 months so management probably didn't do anything. It could have had nothing to do with my sex though. The manager was a woman and was systematically running out or firing everyone but the pharmacists that were hired under previous management. After the guy got hired I went from ~15 hrs a week to 5. I ended up leaving when I found a job paying more than $2.50 more - so over a 50% raise.
In my professional career I haven't. Only thing that's drawn any attention was when the ex-army people would cuss in a meeting and then realize there was a female in the room. They'd then apologize to the lady (me) for cussing. I said don't worry about it...leaving out the part where I cuss like a sailor outside of work.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 11:38:41 GMT -5
Sales reps being dismissive of women seems to be a common complaint from many women on this message board, and presumably everywhere. I wonder why car dealers are so slow to accept that women buy cars too, or what the issue is. Aren't sales reps trained on this sort of thing, not to piss off potential customers?
MIDJD's husband works for a car dealership, maybe she can comment?
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Apr 24, 2014 11:40:20 GMT -5
Sales reps being dismissive of women seems to be a common complaint from many women on this message board, and presumably everywhere. I wonder why car dealers are so slow to accept that women buy cars too, or what the issue is. Aren't sales reps trained on this sort of thing, not to piss off potential customers?
MIDJD's husband works for a car dealership, maybe she can comment? I think this is changing... in my city there are also a lot more women being hired as salespeople at various dealerships. I have noticed a big difference in the last 10 yrs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 11:45:03 GMT -5
Sales reps being dismissive of women seems to be a common complaint from many women on this message board, and presumably everywhere. I wonder why car dealers are so slow to accept that women buy cars too, or what the issue is. Aren't sales reps trained on this sort of thing, not to piss off potential customers?
MIDJD's husband works for a car dealership, maybe she can comment? Most of the car dealers in town don't do that anymore. Probably because when they do the woman they do it too either walks out or insists on getting another salesperson.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 11:45:49 GMT -5
I have been learning to not make the "typical" mistakes at work. I ask for raises, I don't do minutes and I'm not self sacrificing. The hardest one has been to make sure people are aware of my accomplishments. I was raised to "let the work speak for itself". Then I learned that if I don't take the credit there is usually someone else around more than willing to do so and reap the benefits.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 24, 2014 11:51:38 GMT -5
Sales reps being dismissive of women seems to be a common complaint from many women on this message board, and presumably everywhere. I wonder why car dealers are so slow to accept that women buy cars too, or what the issue is. Aren't sales reps trained on this sort of thing, not to piss off potential customers?
MIDJD's husband works for a car dealership, maybe she can comment? DH HAAAAATES all the salespeople. He's the service manager, and their salespeople tend to tell the customers "Oh, X is covered under your warranty" when it's not, so DH has to be the bad guy. I'm sure he would say that their male salesmen are sexist, but who knows if that's because they actually are or because he just doesn't like them. They do have one newish young, blonde, female salesperson, and he doesn't hate her, but he thinks she's dumb. (She asked him what the tax on a $1K repair would be - he said it's 7%, so $1,070. She said "Oh my God, more than a thousand dollars in tax?!?" LOL) I will say that when I bought our Honda from a dealership in Lexington, KY, even though I was the one with the money and I was the one who was going to be on the title, the salesman kept turning to DH to talk to him like I didn't exist - even after DH would point at me and say "hey, don't tell me, it's her car." I almost walked out... but I'm glad I didn't, because that Civic was a damn good car!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 24, 2014 11:56:24 GMT -5
Sales reps being dismissive of women seems to be a common complaint from many women on this message board, and presumably everywhere. I wonder why car dealers are so slow to accept that women buy cars too, or what the issue is. Aren't sales reps trained on this sort of thing, not to piss off potential customers?
MIDJD's husband works for a car dealership, maybe she can comment? I noticed this in the first car that I bought, but no subsequent ones.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 11:58:17 GMT -5
I've also had people express disapproval over my eyesight. I had to read tiny serial numbers that were often worn in poor lighting conditions. I also had to do this as fast as they wanted and they made a big deal out of it. They express "concern" and required me to contact a "medical professional" which is extremely insulting. Basically they're playing junior opthalmologist and assume I am not cmpetent enough to manage my condition, or I've never been to an eye doctor before. Even at my current job, I had one person demand a meeting with my boss to complain that I blow up documents on my monitor so I can see them better. Well whoop-de-freaking-do, is it that big of a deal? Again, they act like this is something new and not something I've lived with my entire life. My vision is as good as it's ever going to get. I can't really figure out why, but some people get really upset if you have any vision related issues, and draw negative conclusions of your overall competence based on it. There are morons everywhere. I'm so sorry to hear you had to deal with such blatant discrimination. Don't you have a government job? I thought government employers would be very sensitized to ADA and reasonable accommodations. I'd be enjoying my 32" computer screen right about now after that freak asking for a meeting with my boss! You'd think, but you might be surprised. At the end of the day, the government is just composed of regular folks, and some of them have their biases. Besides, the guy wasn't in my organization or chain of management, and no real harm was done to me professionally. It's not like I was (or am) ashamed of it, it is what it is, but I did feel like it was none of their business. I guess if I really wanted to I could have made an issue of it, but even in the government, making waves is frowned upon, and it might have done more harm than good in the long run. Being labeled a troublemaker isn't usually good for one's career.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Apr 24, 2014 13:19:37 GMT -5
Yes that is the very same brother. I'm impressed that you remember that. The solution was he rented port a potties to put outside the production area so they wouldn't linger in the bathroom but still had one available to them. If he were in the military his troops would have "accidentally" shot him in the back years ago.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 13:23:57 GMT -5
Yes. With car buying or getting estimates on home repairs or taking my car to the garage or home buying. It has been said that they will give me the estimate, price, etc when I bring my husband in. And, I am like, this car is for ME and I am buying it so give me the deal now or I am walking. So, yeah I have had that type of thing. But, it doesn't bother me. If they dont' want to take my money, I will find someone else who treats me better who will! I'll taike your money Shooby.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 13:25:01 GMT -5
Yes, we are trying to kill Christmas by saying Happy Holidays Not giving special treatment to Christians and expecting to be treated as our religions (or non-religions) are equal to yours, is not hostility.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 24, 2014 14:22:57 GMT -5
Why would anyone talk about their religion at work anyway? Unless you work for a church I think it is highly inappropriate in the secular world. I was discriminated against for being too "young looking" to be a bartender when I was 23. I assume the owner thought I looked just fine since he hired me. He asked me to come in during a weekday evening shift to have the current gal train me. It would have been a perfect place to start: 10 bar stools and 4 tables, so not too big. The current barmaid put a bug in his ear that I looked to young to be behind the bar and I got a call the next day that it wasn't going to work out. The worst part was that I bought some football squares while I was there that evening and I ended up winning (of course). AWKWARD! I collected my winnings the next Monday and told him no hard feelings. My bartending career ended before it even started. It was probably for the best anyway... What difference does "looking" too young make? If you're over 21, you can be a bar tender right? Were they worried that they'd get in trouble with state authorities or something? Sounds to me more like the existing lady didn't want to share the tips.
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Ombud
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Post by Ombud on Apr 24, 2014 14:41:44 GMT -5
...yes... we're evangelical Christians and have been ridiculed/passed over in the secular work world since obviously we're loony tunes for believing in such mishmash... meanwhile, some churches have just plain said that they wanted only certain genders doing certain work... so, c'est la vie... I was once terminated bc the boss noticed my star and said he didn't think I fit in the Christian office. Medical office, not a church job. Turned out for the good bc I went to work for government instead & stayed there 22 yrs At last night's event, someone asked me why I didn't hide the star. I told her I never take it off (I don't) and it doesn't bother me (about 1/2" on a thin gold chain)
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Apr 24, 2014 14:44:15 GMT -5
I did! It was funny though... I live walking distance from Bloomingdale's. So I used to almost live there. Kids and women's dept people knew me like their own. I had never thought what I am wearing though I had noticed that a lot of people coming to the B dressed to impress. To them it was a trip, to me it was a daily routine thang...'I'll run to B for pantyhose or lipstick or whatnot...'
So apparently when we came to a men dept to buy DH a suit - I wasn't dressed 'properly' and men in that department were watching me. Like I could see they were there to 'get me' cutting buttons off the expensive threads and stuffing my pockets with it... I waited until one came up to me and asked me if I realized that the coat I was looking for is 'pricey'...and I said to him that I am at this store more often than you are, so I know where to look for price if I need to...and at this time I do not need to because I am just browsing while my husband is picking suit he likes to try on. Moron's face turned angry and he went to 'watch' my husband. And we picked one very expensive suit and we bought it and I showed him 2 B's cc and I can tell you he was not happy even considering commission he just made...
Every time since then I walked in B and made sure I stroll trough men suit department and looked in his eyes, smiled, giggled more like it and strolled upstairs into where everybody knew my name...
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