NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 9:08:25 GMT -5
Sorry. You guys haven't hit on the worst. There is a woman in my office who wear panty hose under her sandals. She's the only other woman here, so maybe I'm the one not doing it right? Provided the panty hose are the type meant to be worn that way ( sheer all the way to the toe and no seam), I would not have an issue with it. Of course, it depends on the condition of her toes. Personally, I'd wear them, if I were wearing sandals. My toes aren't my prettiest feature, to say the least. And I don't wear a nice dress to a nice event without hose. Yes, I live in a hot climate. Yes, it sucks to do it. But I don't think anyone should have to suffer looking at my feet or legs uncovered. That said, anyone who can get away with bare feet/bare legs and open-toe shoes should do so, by all means. My office manager (AKA The Hag) does it every day. And shouldn't. You do not want to know why.
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Green Eyed Lady
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Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Apr 7, 2014 9:18:52 GMT -5
LOL!! No. I do not want to know why! But your reasons make sense. I was thinking more along the lines of how hot they must be and you validated that! I am about as far from a fashion expert as they come. Figures I'm the one not doing it right!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 7, 2014 9:27:26 GMT -5
aka "The IT Uniform" (sorry DH) Aka "The Engineering Uniform" too. <looking at TD dressed for work>
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 7, 2014 9:29:35 GMT -5
Sorry. You guys haven't hit on the worst. There is a woman in my office who wear panty hose under her sandals. She's the only other woman here, so maybe I'm the one not doing it right? That is only a travesty of they have hose on that have toe caps on them!
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NancysSummerSip
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Apr 7, 2014 10:03:49 GMT -5
Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 10:03:49 GMT -5
aka "The IT Uniform" (sorry DH) Aka "The Engineering Uniform" too. <looking at TD dressed for work> Hey, is that better than looking at him undressed for anything else? Hey, we just wanna know!
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 14:39:20 GMT -5
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Apr 7, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5
Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Apr 7, 2014 10:24:41 GMT -5
aka "The IT Uniform" (sorry DH) Aka "The Engineering Uniform" too. <looking at TD dressed for work> I'm taking my slide rule and going home.
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Tattoos
Apr 7, 2014 10:32:14 GMT -5
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 7, 2014 10:32:14 GMT -5
Aka "The Engineering Uniform" too. <looking at TD dressed for work> I'm taking my slide rule and going home. TD has 3, how many do you have?
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milee
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Post by milee on Apr 7, 2014 10:35:52 GMT -5
That said, there is a difference between "I'm struggling with what to do here, we are discussing it online and as you have a material interest in the case, I thought maybe you would like to read and consider for yourself' .... And 'you gotta read what these yahoos are writing so that we can laugh and yell at them in our solidarity of family kind of way' ... If you see my point? ... I am not privy to the family dynamics. Context and background is also important in these discussions. When bringing a minor into a thread like this without any knowledge of prior threads or the tendencies of other posters, some major misperceptions are likely. If I were to bring my son (my oldest is 14) into a thread, I'd want to help him understand what other threads I'd been involved with and how those discussions had gone to explain some of the references. I'd also think it was very important to give background on what I knew of the other posters so he could have more information on what opinions might be more applicable, what might just be jokes, what might be from people who are reasonable and what might sound appealing on the face of it but be from a poster he would not want to emulate. Example:
Jane Doe - enjoys joking around. Mostly innocuous and not mean spirited, but not at all serious. If she says "go for it - it's brilliant!" she's not actually recommending this idea, she's joking. John Doe - $hit stirrer. Posts just to incite reactions. Likes to argue so takes Devil's Advocate approach just for kicks. Jane Smith - Successful professional who's had her own wild days and figured out how to have fun without that fun ruining her career or family. Usually gives solid advice. John Smith - Good writer so his posts are appealing, but often posts about how out of control his personal/financial life is, so although it's tempting to follow his amusing or encouraging advice, you have to wonder why someone who's a mess would be the one to listen to. Jane Jones - Usually gives good advice and is smart, but doesn't understand this topic at all. Is from a different generation and way different environment. John Jones - Was a hiring manager for many years in different industries so understands what is and isn't an issue. Compassionate and reasonable.
I'm trying to help my boys develop the ability to not only analyze information but how important it is to consider the source. General threads like this one have very different meanings if you know nothing about any of the people giving the advice.
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ken a.k.a OMK
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They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Apr 7, 2014 10:37:17 GMT -5
Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Apr 7, 2014 10:37:17 GMT -5
I'm taking my slide rule and going home. TD has 3, how many do you have? Not sure if I can find them all. Haven't used one in decades. A calculator has the advantage of giving me the decimal point. Does he have a circular slide rule?
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NancysSummerSip
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Tattoos
Apr 7, 2014 10:48:52 GMT -5
Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 10:48:52 GMT -5
TD has 3, how many do you have? Not sure if I can find them all. Haven't used one in decades. A calculator has the advantage of giving me the decimal point. Does he have a circular slide rule? What on earth are we going to measure on TD with a circular slide rule? Should we even be watching that?
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 7, 2014 10:52:39 GMT -5
I don't find anything inherently wrong with bringing the boy into the conversation. That said, there is a difference between "I'm struggling with what to do here, we are discussing it online and as you have a material interest in the case, I thought maybe you would like to read and consider for yourself' .... And 'you gotta read what these yahoos are writing so that we can laugh and yell at them in our solidarity of family kind of way' ... If you see my point? ... I am not privy to the family dynamics. Actually, I think we know a whole lot about the family dynamics which is why I think its totally inappropriate.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 11:15:22 GMT -5
Les had an option, should she have chose to use it...she could have (and perhaps did) block certain posters on this thread before her son viewed the thread. I have no idea if she did or chose to let him read the thread in its entirety. Is the thread age- and content-appropriate for him? I wouldn't know...I don't have kids. I have no idea how kids think, act or are brought up these days. But if this thread is the worst thing he ever reads, I'm thinking he got off lightly in Reality 101. It sounds to me like he can differentiate between expressed opinions and outright hostility directed toward himself or his family. And after what they've been through, the words of virtual strangers probably doesn't carry much weight in his world.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Apr 7, 2014 11:29:46 GMT -5
That said, there is a difference between "I'm struggling with what to do here, we are discussing it online and as you have a material interest in the case, I thought maybe you would like to read and consider for yourself' .... And 'you gotta read what these yahoos are writing so that we can laugh and yell at them in our solidarity of family kind of way' ... If you see my point? ... I am not privy to the family dynamics. Context and background is also important in these discussions. When bringing a minor into a thread like this without any knowledge of prior threads or the tendencies of other posters, some major misperceptions are likely. If I were to bring my son (my oldest is 14) into a thread, I'd want to help him understand what other threads I'd been involved with and how those discussions had gone to explain some of the references. I'd also think it was very important to give background on what I knew of the other posters so he could have more information on what opinions might be more applicable, what might just be jokes, what might be from people who are reasonable and what might sound appealing on the face of it but be from a poster he would not want to emulate. Example:
Jane Doe - enjoys joking around. Mostly innocuous and not mean spirited, but not at all serious. If she says "go for it - it's brilliant!" she's not actually recommending this idea, she's joking. John Doe - $hit stirrer. Posts just to incite reactions. Likes to argue so takes Devil's Advocate approach just for kicks. Jane Smith - Successful professional who's had her own wild days and figured out how to have fun without that fun ruining her career or family. Usually gives solid advice. John Smith - Good writer so his posts are appealing, but often posts about how out of control his personal/financial life is, so although it's tempting to follow his amusing or encouraging advice, you have to wonder why someone who's a mess would be the one to listen to. Jane Jones - Usually gives good advice and is smart, but doesn't understand this topic at all. Is from a different generation and way different environment. John Jones - Was a hiring manager for many years in different industries so understands what is and isn't an issue. Compassionate and reasonable.
I'm trying to help my boys develop the ability to not only analyze information but how important it is to consider the source. General threads like this one have very different meanings if you know nothing about any of the people giving the advice.
I'm sorry, your answer is far too reasonable.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 11:34:04 GMT -5
A 17 year old is transitioning from 'kid'...
I've had this argument with moms about R rated movies... It says Without a Parent... You need to introduce topics that may be considered by some as 'innpropriate' while you are still around to give input ...
If it was my kid, I could use this thread in an instructive way, also taking into account milees points.
A parent also might use this thread to point out the legitimate 'bad guy' arguments without taking on the full on 'bad guy' role for themselves...
I'm not saying those are the ways in which it IS being used...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 7, 2014 11:38:11 GMT -5
I also found it inappropriate.
I'm assuming that unless Les blocked out the http address and other identifying info, it would be very easy to find this website again. The things she has posted about her family... well, if it were me, I wouldn't ever want my child to read that. Even if they were present for most of the events described. Just because he's had to grow up faster than some kids doesn't mean it's a good idea to see all the dirty laundry a parent has been putting out for public consumption.
And Nathaniel, if you're still reading (and I hope you're not) - no one said you were doomed. Most of the posters here HAVE tattoos/piercings. We just suggested you think it over (what's the rush to get it before you turn 18?) and perhaps reconsider the location. Very few of us are working in the careers we envisioned ourselves in at age 17 or 18.
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Iggy aka IG
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Post by Iggy aka IG on Apr 7, 2014 11:52:35 GMT -5
I'm not criticizing tats - I just think that age 17 is too young to decide on a permanent marking. Will it affect a job for him in the future? Or effect how people perceive him? A tat is a permanent marker - once it's emblazoned on the skin it's there for life.
Yes, they can be removed - but they leave scars.
17 is too young to decide on being branded.
I'm not opposed to tats - but I AM opposed to teens making a life-altering decision at age 17 - and getting a tat is one of those. There is something to be said about this. I started getting tattoos in my early 20s, before a corporate sales position was a glimmer in my eye. (Back then it was: "Sales? ME? Gasp?? NEVER!!!" despite my personality for it.) As mentioned on my prior post, my tattoos are covered during business hours, etc. HOWEVER, getting dressed in the morning, especially when it's 90+ degrees is a PITA. Even worse when I was a traveling sales rep in AZ where it was 95 by 8:30 AM, and in the Midwest with the humidity. Bottom line? Had I waited, I would have perhaps decided against a forearm location.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Apr 7, 2014 12:00:07 GMT -5
I actually didn't mind Les sharing this thread with her son. I've shared threads with the Boy before. Usually I just summarize and tell him about them. But over time there have been a few specific posts that I've shown him. I don't think I've ever had him read an entire thread but the ones that talk about college, STEM careers, student loans, etc. we have discussed at our house.
I fully realize that my parenting style is unique to my family. I don't lie to my kid about anything, in our house we don't hide things or keep secrets anymore. DH and DS are completely aware that I post here and could find me if they wanted. They've never had the desire to search this board out but it's no secret that I post here. It's not unusual for one of them to ask me over dinner "so any interesting threads on YM this week?" We did discuss this thread over dinner one night and the various opinions posters had regarding tattoos.
I do agree that most of us post under the assumption that it's only other adults reading our posts. I wouldn't just send DS over to the EE board or some of the threads by She Who must not be named because those would get off topic quickly. But I see no hard in showing DS the thread about working while going to college. Most likely I'd just tell him about it and the various opinions and experiences that people have regarding that subject.
That's just my opinion.
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midjd
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Apr 7, 2014 12:09:40 GMT -5
Post by midjd on Apr 7, 2014 12:09:40 GMT -5
I actually didn't mind Les sharing this thread with her son. I've shared threads with the Boy before. Usually I just summarize and tell him about them. But over time there have been a few specific posts that I've shown him. I don't think I've ever had him read an entire thread but the ones that talk about college, STEM careers, student loans, etc. we have discussed at our house.
I fully realize that my parenting style is unique to my family. I don't lie to my kid about anything, in our house we don't hide things or keep secrets anymore. DH and DS are completely aware that I post here and could find me if they wanted. They've never had the desire to search this board out but it's no secret that I post here. It's not unusual for one of them to ask me over dinner "so any interesting threads on YM this week?" We did discuss this thread over dinner one night and the various opinions posters had regarding tattoos.
I do agree that most of us post under the assumption that it's only other adults reading our posts. I wouldn't just send DS over to the EE board or some of the threads by She Who must not be named because those would get off topic quickly. But I see no hard in showing DS the thread about working while going to college. Most likely I'd just tell him about it and the various opinions and experiences that people have regarding that subject.
That's just my opinion. I don't see a problem with that, or with some of the parameters Oped listed - it can actually be useful. But IMO starting a thread about your child (on a topic that can draw some varied/colorful YM opinions) and then showing it to your child after you've argued with everyone for 7 pages is a little different. I have read some specific posts out loud to DH, but I would never in a million years start a thread about him and then send him the link after people had spent pages analyzing/criticizing his decision and his potential future. He would be mortified, and I'm sure his feelings would be hurt. And he's a 30yo man.
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Miss Tequila
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Apr 7, 2014 12:11:54 GMT -5
Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2014 12:11:54 GMT -5
I actually didn't mind Les sharing this thread with her son. I've shared threads with the Boy before. Usually I just summarize and tell him about them. But over time there have been a few specific posts that I've shown him. I don't think I've ever had him read an entire thread but the ones that talk about college, STEM careers, student loans, etc. we have discussed at our house.
I fully realize that my parenting style is unique to my family. I don't lie to my kid about anything, in our house we don't hide things or keep secrets anymore. DH and DS are completely aware that I post here and could find me if they wanted. They've never had the desire to search this board out but it's no secret that I post here. It's not unusual for one of them to ask me over dinner "so any interesting threads on YM this week?" We did discuss this thread over dinner one night and the various opinions posters had regarding tattoos.
I do agree that most of us post under the assumption that it's only other adults reading our posts. I wouldn't just send DS over to the EE board or some of the threads by She Who must not be named because those would get off topic quickly. But I see no hard in showing DS the thread about working while going to college. Most likely I'd just tell him about it and the various opinions and experiences that people have regarding that subject.
That's just my opinion. I don't see a problem with that, or with some of the parameters Oped listed - it can actually be useful. But IMO starting a thread about your child (on a topic that can draw some varied/colorful YM opinions) and then showing it to your child after you've argued with everyone for 7 pages is a little different. I have read some specific posts out loud to DH, but I would never in a million years start a thread about him and then send him the link after people had spent pages analyzing/criticizing his decision and his potential future. He would be mortified, and I'm sure his feelings would be hurt. And he's a 30yo man. I asked my oldest about A&F when I read the thread about the asshole CEO. But I didn't actually have her READ the thread. I didn't even mention this board. Just told her that I read something and was curious as to what her thoughts on the subject were.
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sheilaincali
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Apr 7, 2014 12:27:39 GMT -5
Post by sheilaincali on Apr 7, 2014 12:27:39 GMT -5
MidJD- that's true. I was reacting to more to the posts about her showing the thread to a 17 year old and didn't consider that the thread was about him.
That being said- I still think there was some valuable information contained in this thread. If you step back and look at it objectively we covered all the basic bases. There are posters that have tattoos and love them, posters that have tattoos and regret them, posters that are very anti tattoo. Posters that have had unique piercings and several posts from people that don't are for the whole "ear hole" trend.
If the music thing doesn't work out for Nathaniel it's good insight for him to see that if he goes to apply for a traditional job he very likely will be judged on his physical appearance (ear holes, tattoos, hair, etc.) I don't know what discussion was had between when Les started this thread and when she showed it to her son.
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Deleted
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Apr 7, 2014 12:28:09 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 12:28:09 GMT -5
I will say that yesterday when I was telling husband that my post on looneys thread got deleted because apparently 'bad word' is a bad word... I did not answer the kids when they asked me which particular bad word I used... But then i guess even other adults have problems with that word? ... (Just FYI, those adults should NOT play Cards against Humanity)...
Anyway... point? ... I guess I wouldn't want my kids logging in and reading everything on these boards, but I think individual threads CAN be instructive, so i'm not inherently against the practice of sharing certain threads with growing offspring...
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Apr 7, 2014 12:32:22 GMT -5
I just know that at 17, my reaction to reading this thread wouldn't be "Oh, those are some good points, although I disagree with X and Y" but rather "F*** those jerks, they don't know me! What a bunch of dumb nerds!" (OK, so maybe that is still my reaction to reading some threads ). Nathaniel was more reasoned and much calmer than I would have been, so props for that - but I still think it was inappropriate to drag him into it. Letting a kid read a thread that isn't specifically about him... I'm OK with that.
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tloonya
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What status?
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Post by tloonya on Apr 7, 2014 12:39:47 GMT -5
I actually didn't mind Les sharing this thread with her son. I've shared threads with the Boy before. Usually I just summarize and tell him about them. But over time there have been a few specific posts that I've shown him. I don't think I've ever had him read an entire thread but the ones that talk about college, STEM careers, student loans, etc. we have discussed at our house.
I fully realize that my parenting style is unique to my family. I don't lie to my kid about anything, in our house we don't hide things or keep secrets anymore. DH and DS are completely aware that I post here and could find me if they wanted. They've never had the desire to search this board out but it's no secret that I post here. It's not unusual for one of them to ask me over dinner "so any interesting threads on YM this week?" We did discuss this thread over dinner one night and the various opinions posters had regarding tattoos.
I do agree that most of us post under the assumption that it's only other adults reading our posts. I wouldn't just send DS over to the EE board or some of the threads by She Who must not be named because those would get off topic quickly. But I see no hard in showing DS the thread about working while going to college. Most likely I'd just tell him about it and the various opinions and experiences that people have regarding that subject.
That's just my opinion.
Same here. My DD said that people here are mean. I said 'you don't know them as well as I do, they are just very special...to me, that is'...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 12:41:26 GMT -5
Awww.....that's the nicest thing you've ever said to us! Like, ever!
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cael
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Apr 7, 2014 12:59:20 GMT -5
Post by cael on Apr 7, 2014 12:59:20 GMT -5
I'm just saying... when I was 17 I hung out in chatrooms at 2am with so many weirdos SO MUCH WEIRDER than anyone here. Weirder, more sketchy, probably way more unsafe too. This would've been nothing new to me! Not saying I agree or disagree with what was done, but I'm just saying, the chances are good that kids these days who have any amount of experience puttering around on the internet kinda get how message boards go and probably wouldn't be sad or shocked or particularly offended or anything by things said in this thread. When you chat with mostly anonymous internet posters, that's just what happens. Again, not saying I agree/disagree - that's just my experience. I don't particularly see anything wrong with the kid reading and responding. ...are chat rooms even a thing anymore or am I dating myself?
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tloonya
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What status?
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Apr 7, 2014 13:05:11 GMT -5
Post by tloonya on Apr 7, 2014 13:05:11 GMT -5
I'm just saying... when I was 17 I hung out in chatrooms at 2am with so many weirdos SO MUCH WEIRDER than anyone here. Weirder, more sketchy, probably way more unsafe too. This would've been nothing new to me! Not saying I agree or disagree with what was done, but I'm just saying, the chances are good that kids these days who have any amount of experience puttering around on the internet kinda get how message boards go and probably wouldn't be sad or shocked or particularly offended or anything by things said in this thread. When you chat with mostly anonymous internet posters, that's just what happens. Again, not saying I agree/disagree - that's just my experience. I don't particularly see anything wrong with the kid reading and responding. ...are chat rooms even a thing anymore or am I dating myself? Heard on TV yesterday. Guy walks into a bar and spotted a girl he wants to meet. He comes to her and says 'hi, I am Sam'...she goes 'whew, weirdo! couldn't you email me? find my face and click on it...' It is not too far from reality.
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sheilaincali
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Apr 7, 2014 13:40:50 GMT -5
Post by sheilaincali on Apr 7, 2014 13:40:50 GMT -5
Cael- DS doesn't say much about chat rooms but he does have a regular group of randoms that he place on Xbox live with. They chat and that but usually through the game. Same with League of Legends (computer game)
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 7, 2014 14:16:05 GMT -5
Nathaniel, if you're still reading, I was impressed by your post. A lot of kids, and yes I realize I sound old referring to you as a kid, would have been pissy or lost their cool after reading a bunch of strangers talking about their person and decisions. That said, I'm not a huge fan of where you want to place the tat. Take it from me, you currently have no idea where you'll be at 30, 40, or 50. Your brother will always mean a lot to you, so I don't object to the tat itself, but consider putting it on your shoulder cap where you can cover it with short sleeves if you need to later.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Apr 7, 2014 14:17:30 GMT -5
To everyone else, I don't see the problem with Les sharing the thread with her son. My daughters read the board and it's led to some great conversations with them. They're younger than Les's son who is basically an adult already.
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greeniis10
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Apr 7, 2014 14:21:27 GMT -5
Post by greeniis10 on Apr 7, 2014 14:21:27 GMT -5
That said, there is a difference between "I'm struggling with what to do here, we are discussing it online and as you have a material interest in the case, I thought maybe you would like to read and consider for yourself' .... And 'you gotta read what these yahoos are writing so that we can laugh and yell at them in our solidarity of family kind of way' ... If you see my point? ... I am not privy to the family dynamics. Context and background is also important in these discussions. When bringing a minor into a thread like this without any knowledge of prior threads or the tendencies of other posters, some major misperceptions are likely. If I were to bring my son (my oldest is 14) into a thread, I'd want to help him understand what other threads I'd been involved with and how those discussions had gone to explain some of the references. I'd also think it was very important to give background on what I knew of the other posters so he could have more information on what opinions might be more applicable, what might just be jokes, what might be from people who are reasonable and what might sound appealing on the face of it but be from a poster he would not want to emulate. Example:
Jane Doe - enjoys joking around. Mostly innocuous and not mean spirited, but not at all serious. If she says "go for it - it's brilliant!" she's not actually recommending this idea, she's joking. John Doe - $hit stirrer. Posts just to incite reactions. Likes to argue so takes Devil's Advocate approach just for kicks. Jane Smith - Successful professional who's had her own wild days and figured out how to have fun without that fun ruining her career or family. Usually gives solid advice. John Smith - Good writer so his posts are appealing, but often posts about how out of control his personal/financial life is, so although it's tempting to follow his amusing or encouraging advice, you have to wonder why someone who's a mess would be the one to listen to. Jane Jones - Usually gives good advice and is smart, but doesn't understand this topic at all. Is from a different generation and way different environment. John Jones - Was a hiring manager for many years in different industries so understands what is and isn't an issue. Compassionate and reasonable.
I'm trying to help my boys develop the ability to not only analyze information but how important it is to consider the source. General threads like this one have very different meanings if you know nothing about any of the people giving the advice.
How do we know Les didn't do this? Maybe she's shared background and posters comments before? IDK, I find it surprising that it is assumed that the only person seeing the posts on this board is the one doing the posting. There's no rule about that (that I know of). Anybody can have someone looking over their shoulder and reading at any time. Guess it's the fact that it was a 17 yr old boy? Well, personally it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. But assuming when she shared the posts with her son that she didn't provide any supporting information or explanations isn't fair to Les.
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