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Apr 5, 2014 20:50:38 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2014 20:50:38 GMT -5
les. I guess I'll just ask, is there anything you did at 17 that you wish you hadn't, or anything your parents stopped you from doing that you are secretly grateful for?
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les63
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Post by les63 on Apr 5, 2014 21:05:44 GMT -5
I guess then I'm doomed as a parent. In Washington state where he was born, a tatoo and piercings is no big deal.
I guess people DO judge a book by it's cover. This is 2014. I guess abortion is okay, gay marriage is great and legal pot is cool.
Whatever floats your boat.....sad.
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Deleted
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Apr 5, 2014 21:09:03 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2014 21:09:03 GMT -5
?
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les63
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Apr 5, 2014 21:26:49 GMT -5
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Post by les63 on Apr 5, 2014 21:26:49 GMT -5
Just saying having a tattoo means you're a what? I mean really? Is that a priority in your life? I have better things to do in MY life, than judge people. I have enough crap in my life to do that.
I know my son better than anyone here. If you want to step inside my life, come on over. Life is so very short, live it with no regrets......
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Post by Deleted on Apr 5, 2014 21:32:48 GMT -5
The best way to live with no regrets, is to not do something you might regret...
I have 2 tattoos. I wouldn't judge your son. That is not to say that visible tattoos might not open him up to being judged.
Rock star sounds great at 17, but the reality isn't always what a 17 year old imagines. Who knows where he might end up? I don't know if he'd regret it later... But I know there is nothing keeping him from getting it later... Or getting it in an area that is more forgiving should he desire to not always show it in the future...
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les63
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Post by les63 on Apr 5, 2014 22:04:37 GMT -5
As to me at 17? No comparison. At all. My life growing up was totally different. He is much more in tune with life than I was. He has had to grow up faster than me. Sad but true.
And damn; I'm 50 years old now. I've seen a lot. Was in the Navy for 9 years and that made me grow a lot. And what has happened since then, has made me much more accepting.
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ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ
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Post by ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ on Apr 5, 2014 22:26:16 GMT -5
I'm not criticizing tats - I just think that age 17 is too young to decide on a permanent marking. Will it affect a job for him in the future? Or effect how people perceive him? A tat is a permanent marker - once it's emblazoned on the skin it's there for life.
Yes, they can be removed - but they leave scars.
17 is too young to decide on being branded.
I'm not opposed to tats - but I AM opposed to teens making a life-altering decision at age 17 - and getting a tat is one of those.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 6, 2014 1:07:43 GMT -5
Music...Rock star? LOL
My kid and his buddies were into the same groups. They had their own band in high school. The friends got tattoos and those stupid gauges in their ears. They were gonna be superstars.
Of these two friends, one works construction occasionally and the other is a dog groomer. Despite their perceived "awesomeness" they "musically wanted to go in different directions" whatever that is supposed to mean. Neither of them has a decent well paying job and both live at home.
No way in hell my underage kid was getting a tattoo. He did get those ridiculous gauges once he hit 18 (which I didn't notice for a long time due to the long hair) which luckily closed because he joined the military at 20. They would not have taken him which gigantic loops in his ears.
My kid is miles away from the lifestyle he lived as a teenager. Fortunately, he made no choices and I didn't allow things that could have hurt him down the road the way his pals seem to be stymied in finding decent jobs. I chalk it up to being a parent...not a friend to my kid. At nearly 23, he's free to do whatever he wants now....but he is solely responsible for his choices. JMO.
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quince
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Post by quince on Apr 6, 2014 7:29:34 GMT -5
If you would let a girl get piercings on her ears before 18 I think it's fine to allow other body modifications. I'm not a fan of tattoos and I kind of wish I hadn't gotten my ears pierced, but I'll survive.
My parents both have tattoos. I'm hoping my son doesn't ever want one, because that will be a difficult conversation. If he wanted a tattoo the same way for more than two years...I'd probably let him do it. Especially at 17- a few months from age 18? There's no magic wand waved to make a kid "mature enough" at a certain age. Some kids are able to make decisions for themselves well at 15, some never are.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 6, 2014 11:11:28 GMT -5
Just saying having a tattoo means you're a what? I mean really? Is that a priority in your life? I have better things to do in MY life, than judge people. I have enough crap in my life to do that. I know my son better than anyone here. If you want to step inside my life, come on over. Life is so very short, live it with no regrets...... But you have to accept that people DO judge. Granted, I work in a more conservative profession but I can assure you that if a candidate showed up for an interview with gages (?), weird colored hair, sleeves or anything else that is out there and that candidate would never have a chance at the job. Someone in an artsy industry would have a much easier time I would guess.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Apr 6, 2014 11:29:19 GMT -5
Perhaps someone could explain this to me.....
i have 4 step sibs from my dad's current marriage. Of the 4, only one of then is really self supporting, and his job pays so at least 2 of his sisters have a place to live. They have absolutely nothing in savings and when something hits, they run to the bank of my dad.
Yet, each time I visit they have new tattoos, and not insignificant ones. Exactly why do tattoos trump having enough in savings to pay a car repair bill?
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 6, 2014 12:57:38 GMT -5
Just saying having a tattoo means you're a what? I mean really? Is that a priority in your life? I have better things to do in MY life, than judge people. I have enough crap in my life to do that. I know my son better than anyone here. If you want to step inside my life, come on over. Life is so very short, live it with no regrets...... But you have to accept that people DO judge. Granted, I work in a more conservative profession but I can assure you that if a candidate showed up for an interview with gages (?), weird colored hair, sleeves or anything else that is out there and that candidate would never have a chance at the job. Someone in an artsy industry would have a much easier time I would guess. There are many workplaces that simply do not allow visible tattoos. I know at DHs airline, tattoos cannot be visible while in uniform. If you want to wear long sleeves in the heat, I guess that is up to you.
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midjd
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Apr 6, 2014 13:30:36 GMT -5
Post by midjd on Apr 6, 2014 13:30:36 GMT -5
Good points...
I was 22 when I got my tattoo, and swore up and down that I would be fine with having it on the back of my neck - even though I'd already accepted a scholarship to law school (so knew I'd be entering a pretty conservative profession). I had/have long hair and wore it down most of the time so figured I could cover it up whenever needed.
Well now I wear my hair up most of the time because mornings with a baby are too hectic to do anything else with it. I am SO SO glad the tattoo artist convinced me to move it down about 3 inches...
DH has a lower wrist tattoo (covering up a crappy tattoo he got in someone's kitchen when he was 17) and has only had one job where he had to cover it up, but wearing long sleeves in July gets old really fast.
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milee
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Post by milee on Apr 6, 2014 16:08:40 GMT -5
Perhaps someone could explain this to me..... i have 4 step sibs from my dad's current marriage. Of the 4, only one of then is really self supporting, and his job pays so at least 2 of his sisters have a place to live. They have absolutely nothing in savings and when something hits, they run to the bank of my dad. Yet, each time I visit they have new tattoos, and not insignificant ones. Exactly why do tattoos trump having enough in savings to pay a car repair bill? This is another aspect not discussed. I was under the impression that the les household was having significant financial challenges. Why then allocate money to tattoos? Or smoking? I've got two addict sisters as well and even though there is no money at all for rent, healthcare, etc. There is always money for tattoos, smoking and (of course) whatever drug they're snorting, smoking or popping.
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les63
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Post by les63 on Apr 6, 2014 19:10:01 GMT -5
This is Nathaniel, took my time reading over the 6 pages of replies. I'll start by saying, if you honestly think I'm doomed because I will have a nice colorful ribbon, a 4 letter name written in some form of cursive above it...that's weird. My ears are 3/4's of an inch, I have a lip ring. I don't dress like any of the kids at my school. I have my head shaved on the sides and back, the top is long and slicked back. Haha what does that tell you about me? I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but honestly it's not that big of a deal. I go to a great school and lots of my teachers have tattoos that are visible. My art teacher is covered in them. I do plan on more, and I have no plans for college, say what you will. Music is my thing, I'm lucky enough to be in a band with people that have toured and who are very talented musicians. It's not a tattoo that you would frown upon. And just so the rest of you know, they are not called gauges. They're know as stretched ears, plugs, or tunnels. A gauge is a size, so you'd refer to the size when you'd use the word, such as 10G or 8G. Like I said I'm at 3/4th's, so my life is already doomed. ?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 6, 2014 19:25:41 GMT -5
One of my very good friends was "not very academically oriented" as a 17 to 22 year old. In fact,he spent those years following The Dead around He's now an attorney and works as a prosecutor in NYC.
Your 17 year old you isn't the 40 year old you.
Id get the tat, but put it where it can be more easily covered just because you don't want to cut off any career paths.
**posted by someone with a tat that is not visible in business clothes.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 6, 2014 19:35:03 GMT -5
I actually think your mom was the one to use the word doomed... Most of us just suggested caution, particularly in placement of any tattoo.
*** posted by someone with two tats that can be covered, should the situation call for it...
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milee
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Post by milee on Apr 6, 2014 19:52:04 GMT -5
Nathaniel, I don't think you're doomed. I think that as parents we want to give our children as many opportunities as possible. Some choices you make now can either give you a greater number of choices in the future or limit your choices in the future.
Most of us just want to encourage you to keep your options open and part of that is by avoiding permanent decisions that may limit future options.
We all hope you're a successful musician and never have to consider another career. And when you're 17, people want to encourage you so are unlikely to tell you anything discouraging about your potential, your talent or the reality of the music industry. That's OK and it's good to work towards your goals and dreams, but it never hurts to keep other options open. Just in case.
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whoami
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Post by whoami on Apr 6, 2014 22:16:19 GMT -5
This is Nathaniel, took my time reading over the 6 pages of replies. I'll start by saying, if you honestly think I'm doomed because I will have a nice colorful ribbon, a 4 letter name written in some form of cursive above it...that's weird. My ears are 3/4's of an inch, I have a lip ring. I don't dress like any of the kids at my school. I have my head shaved on the sides and back, the top is long and slicked back. Haha what does that tell you about me? I understand that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but honestly it's not that big of a deal. I go to a great school and lots of my teachers have tattoos that are visible. My art teacher is covered in them. I do plan on more, and I have no plans for college, say what you will. Music is my thing, I'm lucky enough to be in a band with people that have toured and who are very talented musicians. It's not a tattoo that you would frown upon. And just so the rest of you know, they are not called gauges. They're know as stretched ears, plugs, or tunnels. A gauge is a size, so you'd refer to the size when you'd use the word, such as 10G or 8G. Like I said I'm at 3/4th's, so my life is already doomed. ? That your mother would even think to draw you into this conversation is wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to express them. Please urge her to get some counselling and understand boundaries. It would be helpful for you yourself to read codependent no more or see your school counselor if you can't see what a violation it is for your mother to do this. I had the same reaction. Totally inappropriate.
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CarolinaKat
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Post by CarolinaKat on Apr 7, 2014 7:40:29 GMT -5
My BFF bribed me into getting my ears pierced.... at 24. I do mean bribed. And it hurt like a bitch. I personally am never letting them grow over because I am never going through that kind of pain again. All of you people who say it only pinches are lying, I was in horrible pain for days and nothing was even infected, it just throbbed because life hates me Um, don't have a baby? That is some serious pain, imho They give you drugs for that i'm told
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Apr 7, 2014 7:55:46 GMT -5
That your mother would even think to draw you into this conversation is wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to express them. Please urge her to get some counselling and understand boundaries. It would be helpful for you yourself to read codependent no more or see your school counselor if you can't see what a violation it is for your mother to do this. I had the same reaction. Totally inappropriate. I had the same reaction, too.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 8:35:06 GMT -5
That your mother would even think to draw you into this conversation is wrong on so many levels, I can't even begin to express them. Please urge her to get some counselling and understand boundaries. It would be helpful for you yourself to read codependent no more or see your school counselor if you can't see what a violation it is for your mother to do this. I had the same reaction. Totally inappropriate. At the risk of getting flamed, shot, drawn and quartered, I am going to disagree. I give the young man props for responding. Whether or not I agree with him, or his mother, is immaterial. He expresses himself well. And why shouldn't he be allowed to be in the conversation? It's his body, and body art. And the Les family has been through some things that few of us have, and none of us would wish on anyone else. How they deal with their life, times and adversity isn't going to be what I would think of as "normal" or "standard" in its approach. I'm still not coming over to the tattoo/piercing side, personally. But I'd still have Les and her son over to my house any day.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:37:23 GMT -5
If he's getting it on his forearm by the elbow it is not going to be visible in a dress shirt. Unless he's going into sales where he'll be wearing short sleeve dress shirts.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:41:52 GMT -5
If he's getting it on his forearm by the elbow it is not going to be visible in a dress shirt. Unless he's going into sales where he'll be wearing short sleeve dress shirts. which really should be illegal!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:46:11 GMT -5
HA! It's the "mullet" of the clothing industry!!!
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:47:58 GMT -5
I don't find anything inherently wrong with bringing the boy into the conversation.
That said, there is a difference between
"I'm struggling with what to do here, we are discussing it online and as you have a material interest in the case, I thought maybe you would like to read and consider for yourself' ....
And 'you gotta read what these yahoos are writing so that we can laugh and yell at them in our solidarity of family kind of way' ...
If you see my point? ... I am not privy to the family dynamics.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Apr 7, 2014 8:48:10 GMT -5
HA! It's the "mullet" of the clothing industry!!! Only if you add the pocket protector and the pens.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:49:24 GMT -5
aka "The IT Uniform" (sorry DH)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 7, 2014 8:49:59 GMT -5
HA! It's the "mullet" of the clothing industry!!! ranks just above sneakers with a suit
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Green Eyed Lady
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Post by Green Eyed Lady on Apr 7, 2014 8:59:48 GMT -5
Sorry. You guys haven't hit on the worst. There is a woman in my office who wear panty hose under her sandals.
She's the only other woman here, so maybe I'm the one not doing it right?
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