yogiii
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Post by yogiii on Mar 27, 2014 18:34:31 GMT -5
I think it comes down to personality. Some people are just better off without families. It sounds like you're an introvert. I spent my 20's and early 30's going from work to either happy hour, the gym or sports. Now instead of doing that, I'm with my family. Some people will always prefer to recharge in a room alone, but that would never work for me. Don't get me wrong, I like some alone time, but I get bored quickly and would rather be doing something fun with my family. Introverts can like family too you know. We aren't cold hearted freaks all the time
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teen persuasion
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Post by teen persuasion on Mar 27, 2014 21:13:50 GMT -5
When I think back on all the years of raising kids by myself, working fulltime and sometimes overtime, taking care of a house, a car and some dogs, and having a bit of fun along the way, I smh and wonder what happened to the energy I must have had to get it all done. In hindsight, it seems like I was always going or doing and I wonder HOW, but when I was living through it, it didn't feel extraordinary. It felt normal. I think the other posters are correct, when it's your family and your responsibility, you just do it. It does become your normal. I don't know about being "on", but you spend time with your kids and SO because you enjoy their company, even when you're tired. You go buy food and prepare it because your children have to eat. You do laundry because they need clean clothes. You get up at 6am even though you just got off work at 2am because your children have to go to school. And the list goes on. It all just becomes a part of life. I agree with everything but the bolded section. I've raised my kids to be independent, as much as possible - if they are hungry, they can go fix themselves something to eat. I buy and prepare food because I'm hungry. As long as I'm cooking for me, however, it's not any more trouble to cook for everyone - they can join me. They might get a meal faster if they pitch in and help, too.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 2:14:59 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 27, 2014 21:26:10 GMT -5
<p>LOL! I was thinking more about very young children when I mentioned preparing food. I don't like cooking, most of the meals I cooked were solely because I had to feed my children something decent. When they got old enough, I still bought the food but they were more than welcome to cook the meals themselves. <img alt=" " src="http://images.proboards.com/new/smiley.png" text=" "></p>
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Mar 28, 2014 9:09:43 GMT -5
My comment wasn't meant to be an attack on introverts, so I apologize if it came off that way. My point was that some people will never have the energy. Many dads come home from work, nap on the couch until dinner, eat and retire to the T.V. or computer game. They spend their weekend minimally engaged and any family activity is viewed as a chore. My friend is going through a divorce for that very reason. Now he all of sudden wants to be attentive, but it's too late, damage is done. My own mom kicked us outside, locked herself in her room and slept all day. The house was always a pigsty and dinner was usually a sandwich.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 9, 2024 2:14:59 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 9:20:09 GMT -5
My comment wasn't meant to be an attack on introverts, so I apologize if it came off that way. My point was that some people will never have the energy. Many dads come home from work, nap on the couch until dinner, eat and retire to the T.V. or computer game. They spend their weekend minimally engaged and any family activity is viewed as a chore. My friend is going through a divorce for that very reason. Now he all of sudden wants to be attentive, but it's too late, damage is done. My own mom kicked us outside, locked herself in her room and slept all day. The house was always a pigsty and dinner was usually a sandwich. Introvert doesn't mean lazy. If anything, I'm kind of obsessive about things being neat (which can be a problem too with kids and family). It kind of sounds like your Mom had more than introversion going on there. Almost sounds like she was depressed.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Mar 28, 2014 9:35:30 GMT -5
Introvert doesn't mean lazy. If anything, I'm kind of obsessive about things being neat (which can be a problem too with kids and family). It kind of sounds like your Mom had more than introversion going on there. Almost sounds like she was depressed And the dad isn't an introvert either, he's self absorbed/lazy/selfish. I am an introvert and I have no problems putting other people ahead of myself. I also enjoy my family's company b/c my family is MY family. I created it an they are the people I love/trust the most in my life. My introversion kicks in when I am in an unfamilar place with unfamilar people. I warm up as I am introduced to people but that kind of socialization drains me more than it energizes me. Introvert doesn't equal anti-social, far from it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 9:38:42 GMT -5
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 28, 2014 9:41:40 GMT -5
I have also just accepted that some people simply have more energy than I do. I could not stand to live a life where you are constantly on the go. I have some friends who go nonstop with work, kids' activities, travel teams, rotaty club and on and on. I don't like living that way. I like and need down time. And, if I don't accomplish as much as my busy sisters, then so be it.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 28, 2014 9:51:21 GMT -5
I have a ton of energy for some things. I can mow 5 acres, do all the laundry, weed the garden, unload a couple hundred bales into the barn and still be up for a walk/bike ride in the evening. But stuff like running around to activities for the kids or even going to "relaxing" parties drains me. I love going to see my Dad in the cities and get excited about it, but after the city traffic and a few hours of visiting, I'm relieved to be in the van for the two hour drive home with the kids watching a movie or sleeping.
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Shooby
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Post by Shooby on Mar 28, 2014 9:55:50 GMT -5
I am just tired now. Been there, done that, got the T shirt. Now I would rather just stay home.
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skubikky
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Post by skubikky on Mar 28, 2014 12:42:12 GMT -5
I find shoes are very energizing. If my wife is too tired to clean up, I through a shoe at her and she finds the energy. Arch....you are a gem among men.....
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Mar 28, 2014 13:03:43 GMT -5
My comment wasn't meant to be an attack on introverts, so I apologize if it came off that way. My point was that some people will never have the energy. Many dads come home from work, nap on the couch until dinner, eat and retire to the T.V. or computer game. They spend their weekend minimally engaged and any family activity is viewed as a chore. My friend is going through a divorce for that very reason. Now he all of sudden wants to be attentive, but it's too late, damage is done. My own mom kicked us outside, locked herself in her room and slept all day. The house was always a pigsty and dinner was usually a sandwich. DramaQ and MPL pretty much summed it up. Being an introvert is not the same as being lazy or anti social. As firebird hinted at another thread, if anything, family connections can be even more important to a introvert than an extrovert. The key difference is extroverts are energized and thrive on human interaction, especially from those they don't know. For an introvert, interaction with people you don't know is draining and takes effort. However, that does not mean introverts do not like human interaction at all. On the contrary, it's more important to have a stable family relationship because that is your primary source of human interaction, of fullfilling that need.
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