Human Energy Vampires

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Having a record doesn't stop you from being able to get a gun.

But if the authorities know, he can be arrested.

[swamp]

Mar 12, 2014 15:31:44 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Mar 12, 2014 13:36:31 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

That would likely just make him angrier and it is very possible that he is carrying.  I think I'd be reluctant to do something physical that would antagonize him and that would not stop him in his tracks.  

Pink, does this guy have a CWP?  

I agree on the pepper spray. He'd laugh his ass off if I blew a whistle or something to try to attract attention. I don't know if he can even get a CWP, he's said before that he can't get a passport because he's a felon. I don't know if that's true or not. But he has all kinds of guns. Pistols, rifles, and shotguns. I've never seen him carry one on his person, but I've stumbled upon one or two in his car.

I don't know about the state you live in, but in NY you cannot own or posses a firearm if you have a felony. The cops might be interested to know he has them if that's the law there

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

I don't know about the state you live in, but in NY you cannot own or posses a firearm if you have a felony. The cops might be interested to know he has them if that's the law there

This is in all states, Swamp.

www.gunlawsbystate.com/felons-and-firearms/

[justme]

Mar 12, 2014 17:03:28 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Mar 12, 2014 15:55:55 GMT -5 Peace Of Mind said:

Holy Shit, Pink!!!  He is definitely a psychopath and one thing I've learned about psychopaths is they can't stand rejection.  The more you break away the harder they try to contact you. 

My suggestion is to remain cordial and pleasant but do not interact in any way.  Remain calm and keep your mouth shut at how you really feel about him or his behavior.  If you run into him just be pleasant and very, very busy and leave his presence immediately.  Do not interact or be ugly or tell him off.  Always smile, pretend you are happy to see him (but not with too many words) and say "Hi!  I'm sorry, but I'm late" and get the hell away from him.  Stop responding to texts, phone calls, etc.  Don't give him any reason to go off on you.  DO NOT feed the monster that is in him!  That is what he wants - your reaction.  He'll eventually get bored and move on to some other poor soul.  (((Hugs))) and please be safe. 

I'm no expert but I do know how to deal with crazy from when I worked and from playing on the internet. 

POM, that's almost exactly how I've tried to handle him before. It was a real struggle to keep my mouth shut and it didn't always help anyway. I'm not responding to any more texts and such. He did finally get a reaction yesterday after I'd been doing so good ignoring him, but it was a wake-up call for me, realizing just how much dealing with him drains me. If I hadn'tbeen ignoring him for a while before yesterday, I probably wouldn't have noticed the difference yesterday. 

He's still at it, and I'm back to ignoring him. I've already been going out of my way to try to avoid running into him, and I'll keep doing that.

It varies by phone/manufacturer, but look into blocking him. So any calls go straight to voicemail and don't even ring your phone (I think some have the option of they don't go anywhere, but I'd keep them as evidence), you can block texts too but I'm not sure if you can just set them up to immediately forward them somewhere so you can have a record.

[zibazinski]

Verizon now lets you block.

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2014 16:02:02 GMT -5 The Walk of the Penguin Mich said:

Pink...I think you need to start a paper trail with the police right now. They probably won't be able to do anything, but at least you will have made them aware that there is something funky going on. Look up what your state's stalking laws are and see if he has broken any of them.

Inform the police that you KNOW that this guy has an arsenal and claims to be a felon. Is there any way of validating this?

At this point, it sounds like you might have enough to get a restraining order against him. And as Drama says, see if you cannot get someone to walk you to your car when you leave work.

I'm sorry Mich, but you have a lot more faith in the police's ability to protect me from something like that than I do.

The police know who he is and what he has.

You're giving me the same advice I'd give any other woman. It's good advice and I truly appreciate you giving it. I promise you though, this man is something extra special. Even if he got the ideas that he's invincible and has 9 lives out of the blue, I can see how his past would reinforce those beliefs for someone crazy enough to believe it in the first place. 

[haapai]

Has anyone else ever dealt with someone that exhausts you and makes you just want to take a nap?

Yup.  I work with one.  I decided long ago that interacting with her only left me tired and that calling her out on her craziness and selective memory produced explosions.  So I got busy, and deaf.  Not responding to craziness is exhausting, but it's far, far better than being sucked into the sphere of someone who uses everything that they know about you for their own purposes. 

Have you ever googled personality disorders?  You may find that one of them fits what you are dealing with.  Read carefully, there are some common symptoms in the various " categories" that used to be called sociopaths.  Some of them are much more prone to violence or liable to wander out of your life than others. 

I wish you strength and luck.  The important thing here is to get the toxic person out of your life. 

There's another thing that I'd like to mention.  It seems disconnected but there is a point to it.  It concerns con artists, specifically psychics.  Apparently, part of the MO is to convince the target to do really odd things.  When the target does these odd things, like dancing naked at the full moon, or tasting their own menstrual blood, or burning small denomination bills, it accomplishes two things.  Firstly, it creates distance between the target and the other people in the target's life.  (I.e. who wants to tell their kids that they actually went out into the yard naked?)  Secondly, the degree of compliance tells the con artist how complete their control over the target is. 

In other words, one of the easiest ways to isolate someone from other people is to get them to start doing crazy things.  The point here is, don't be ashamed of what foolish and embarrassing things you might have done under this person's influence.  You were probably being worked by a master manipulator. 

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2014 17:49:56 GMT -5 justme said:

Mar 12, 2014 17:03:28 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

POM, that's almost exactly how I've tried to handle him before. It was a real struggle to keep my mouth shut and it didn't always help anyway. I'm not responding to any more texts and such. He did finally get a reaction yesterday after I'd been doing so good ignoring him, but it was a wake-up call for me, realizing just how much dealing with him drains me. If I hadn'tbeen ignoring him for a while before yesterday, I probably wouldn't have noticed the difference yesterday. 

He's still at it, and I'm back to ignoring him. I've already been going out of my way to try to avoid running into him, and I'll keep doing that.

It varies by phone/manufacturer, but look into blocking him. So any calls go straight to voicemail and don't even ring your phone (I think some have the option of they don't go anywhere, but I'd keep them as evidence), you can block texts too but I'm not sure if you can just set them up to immediately forward them somewhere so you can have a record.

I have apps to block calls and texts from certain numbers. That got worse results than just ignoring him because he knew he was blocked. I'm just going to keep ignoring him. I promise that if he does anything other than send me all these hateful messages, or shows up at my house or job, I'll go to the police.

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2014 18:17:03 GMT -5 haapai said:

Has anyone else ever dealt with someone that exhausts you and makes you just want to take a nap?

Yup.  I work with one.  I decided long ago that interacting with her only left me tired and that calling her out on her craziness and selective memory produced explosions.  So I got busy, and deaf.  Not responding to craziness is exhausting, but it's far, far better than being sucked into the sphere of someone who uses everything that they know about you for their own purposes. 

Have you ever googled personality disorders?  You may find that one of them fits what you are dealing with.  Read carefully, there are some common symptoms in the various " categories" that used to be called sociopaths.  Some of them are much more prone to violence or liable to wander out of your life than others. 

I wish you strength and luck.  The important thing here is to get the toxic person out of your life. 

There's another thing that I'd like to mention.  It seems disconnected but there is a point to it.  It concerns con artists, specifically psychics.  Apparently, part of the MO is to convince the target to do really odd things.  When the target does these odd things, like dancing naked at the full moon, or tasting their own menstrual blood, or burning small denomination bills, it accomplishes two things.  Firstly, it creates distance between the target and the other people in the target's life.  (I.e. who wants to tell their kids that they actually went out into the yard naked?)  Secondly, the degree of compliance tells the con artist how complete their control over the target is. 

In other words, one of the easiest ways to isolate someone from other people is to get them to start doing crazy things.  The point here is, don't be ashamed of what foolish and embarrassing things you might have done under this person's influence.  You were probably being worked by a master manipulator. 

Yes, not responding to craziness is stressful by itself, but it's better than getting sucked in.

Yes, I've googled personality disorders. I wasn't trying to diagnose him, just trying to get some confirmation that what I was starting to believe was actually real. Before I started reading about sociopaths, it was very confusing because what I was seeing was one thing and my gut had started telling me something else. Which goes along with your last line about master manipulators. That's what he is. If you let him, he'll have you believing that left is right and right is wrong. 

[Deleted]

He manipulates you to control you. He tells you that he is not afraid of jail or cameras or police because this already works on you. You think why should I get help because he will not care or stop. He got result he wants. You are victim and isolated and think no one can help.

He drains you because he makes you victim every time he interacts with you. He sees you as a possession. You are using energy to fight his effect so it tires you. 

I am very sorry that you face this. I told you some things to do, but maybe take the personal strength & protection training further. This is good for your body and changes your routine. Continue to show no fear and do not allow manipulation as much as you can fight it. 

[Deleted]

He manipulates you to control you. He tells you that he is not afraid of jail or cameras or police because this already works on you. You think why should I get help because he will not care or stop. He got result he wants. You are victim and isolated and think no one can help.

He drains you because he makes you victim every time he interacts with you. He sees you as a possession. You are using energy to fight his effect so it tires you.

When he first started telling me a little about his past, I thought he was just telling me wild stories and exaggerating because they were so outrageous. Then someone that had been around him all his life was around and they got to remininscing and the other person was telling the same stories, he was there. His details were the same. I didn't want to hear anymore and I definitely didn't want to hear anything more recent. Maybe some of the stuff he's said wasn't true, but a lot of it was.

I've also searched court records for him. I found some several things from the 90's, but I couldn't tell what the outcomes were.

I agree with the last bolded sentence.

He hasn't texted me since yesterday afternoon. I don't know what that means, if it means he's done now. I hope so.

I do have a security system and I do turn it on.

Thank you. I have to go now. I'll be back later.

[tloonya]

Pink,
what if you started to date someone large and strong?
Like seriously fell in love etc...would he be like not letting you?

[Iggy aka IG]

Mar 12, 2014 9:59:35 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Mar 12, 2014 8:58:33 GMT -5 gs11rmb said:

I'm not sure from your replies if this man is just a major annoyance or if you are concerned he could be dangerous.  I certainly hope it is the former and he'll eventually get bored and move on to someone else.  If he thrives on drama and you are not responding he won't be getting much out of the situation.  I would probably try one more time with a text saying something along the lines that you should both move on to meeting other people and therefore, it's not a good idea to keep in contact and you don't intend to respond to any other texts, messages, etc.  Then follow through.

If you suspect the man is in fact dangerous, I am not qualified to offer any advice and would seek out a professional trained to deal with these situations. 

Good luck!

He's never even come close to being violent towards me, but I've learned that he's been violent with women he was involved with in his past. And men that have known him for decades seem to know when to back down before he does something crazy.

So while he's never done anything to physically harm me in any way, I know he's capable of violence. I know ignoring him makes him crazier and I'm a little concerned that he might resort to something drastic to get my attention or "punish" me for ignoring him.

I've already tried your "one more time" text. It's been ok to meet other people for a while. Last week when I got off work, I saw his car parked down the street from my job at a restaurant we use to go to. I know it was him because he parked on the street and deliberately waited to get out of his car just as I was passing by and he texted me to tell me he was meeting someone there to eat. I guess that was suppose to ruin my day or something. Instead, I was hoping he really was meeting someone and that she'd keep him occupied so he wouldn't bother me. I didn't respond. He says I'm going to see that he's serious, one way or another. Serious about what, I'm not sure.

And swamp, your advice is spot on. But jail isn't really a deterrment for him.

What's funny (not really) is that he's a respected business man, and really involved in his church. These people have no clue about who he really is. The elders at his church think they've helped him turn his life around. No, he just hides it better. He leads a double life and admits it.

Oh well, I've devoted enough energy to him today already, just talking about him.

Pink, I had/still have an online stalker.  It started last year during an election campaign I led here in my small town.  It got as far as me going to the police with a stack of Facebook comment print screens, and the officer talking to the individual.  Not sure why a person of the same sex becomes enamored with another, for months and months (and sometimes years)....?

If this guy emails/Facebook's you, make sure you make a copy of it.  The phone company will have a record of the texts.

He'll either move on to the next victim when he becomes bored of you, or become worse resulting in the unmentionable.

Good luck. 

ETA:  I understand your comment about the police not being as protective as they should be, but at least if you have some evidence to take to them, it will establish a history with this guy.

Make sure you lock your doors when you are home.

[Otto the Orange]

I prefer the term Oxygen Thief

[Deleted]

Mar 12, 2014 8:53:33 GMT -5 @pinkcshmere said:

Anyway, I started the thread because I'd never realized someone could really drain your energy from you like it happened to me. I wasn't trying to bore you all with the whole story about him. I just wondered if anyone else had dealt with someone that left them feeling like they needed to take a nap to recover from interacting with them.

Yes, yes and more yes. Fellow church member - lonely/needy type.  Truly the most hateful, negative, racist, sexist, homophobic person I've ever met.  If we do avoid him by attending a different service or not attending an event, I feel like he's ruling our lives.  If we do attend a service or an event of our choice, we don't enjoy it because we're endlessly dodging him.  The individual I'm dealing with is very much "hands on" which is always a little bit of an issue for me because of past parental abuse issues.