Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Mar 6, 2014 12:41:55 GMT -5
I'm still more or less the same person I've always been. Opening a business is bringing out my asshole side a bit more, but only because I'm forced to interact with morons on a more consistent basis. Dealing with the state could drive even the nicest guy to become a raging dick.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 12:56:35 GMT -5
Since I've had kids, I’m way more empathetic than I used to be. I used to have sympathy for people that were going through tough times, but I never was able to really show much of a sincere concern.
I am more of a skeptic overall about everything; gov’t, corporations, certain people’s intentions, etc. Specifically, my hatred of salespeople has probably increased 100x. In most cases, a lot of these people are just paid liars.
I have less tolerance for people that lie. My mom tells me a lot of small lies that are so stupid that I don’t even know why she bothers. If they were watching the kids and she thinks I’d be upset if they had a cracker or something, she’ll tell me they didn’t eat any crackers. Then later in the day, my son will tell me that he ate a bunch of crackers over there. That kind of stuff did not used to bother me, but now it irritates the life out of me.
I’m way more tolerant than I used to be because I realize things aren’t as black/white as they seemed when I was in my mid-20’s.
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sesfw
Junior Associate
Today is the first day of the rest of my life
Joined: Dec 21, 2010 15:45:17 GMT -5
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Post by sesfw on Mar 6, 2014 13:17:05 GMT -5
When DH#1 died 15 + years ago my whole world changed. I think I'm still the same basic person I was as a 20 something, just more mature. Priorities changed.
A lot of my views have changed. I'm more tolerant of other view points if people are not hurting others. My hair is gray/blond. My body is less elastic and more achy. My eyes have stabilized, hearing is still OK. Joints are creaky and I take aspirin oftener. After my session with chemo and radiation my weight is down where I've wanted it for at least 40 years.
I care deeply for people ....... but some of the things they are doing make me want to kick them in the backside. And at times I don't care what they do.
Hmmmmmm guess this makes me 'normal'?
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chen35
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Post by chen35 on Mar 6, 2014 14:15:37 GMT -5
I’m way more tolerant than I used to be because I realize things aren’t as black/white as they seemed when I was in my mid-20’s. Yeah, in my 20's I pretty much knew everything. I miss that feeling, but I'm not nearly as arrogant now.
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Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Mar 6, 2014 14:21:23 GMT -5
I have changed in so many ways! When I was really young I loved people and was always able to see the good in them and there was no such thing as too many friends. I swore I'd work until I died and didn't even like taking vacations. I missed my work and friends at work. I had no intentions of ever getting married or having kids.
Now people exhaust me and piss me off. A few good friends are perfect for me and I do still enjoy getting to know new ones but I'm so much more selective. Getting married was actually a good idea because I married my best friend, advocate and teacher the first time and probably my soul mate and definitely my best friend the second time. Still didn't want kids and have never regretted that decision.
Working 40-75 hrs. a week and dancing to the tune of nut balls that sit in their offices or board rooms all day manipulating people to do what they want on a whim is my idea of hell. I used to think what I did for a living defined me. I learned it was a means to an end and it only paid for me to have the life I wanted. I thank God every day I no longer need to do it if I don't want to.
I don't care if you (in general) like me or not. I don't care if my life meets your expectations and no matter what you think of how it should be doesn't affect me or change my mind on how I will live it. I've learned to be true to myself and live the way I want to live my life because I'm the only one that has to live with it.
I'm still a work in progress and I will be until I take my last breath but I do try to be a better person.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 14:39:47 GMT -5
I used to have the "peace keeper" nickname from my friends and family. Anything to avoid drama. Still hate drama but tired of and not my job to help everyone get along. Now I will even participate/create a little drama myself if it's an important matter to me and everyone else can just deal with the fallout of their own making.
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hurley1980
Well-Known Member
I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 17:35:06 GMT -5
Posts: 1,959
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Post by hurley1980 on Mar 6, 2014 14:52:30 GMT -5
I am vastly different than I was 10 years ago, thanks to some much needed therapy. Even the way I look is so different that some people from high school don't even recognize me.
I was pretty much the worst person ever at 23 years old. Not so much deep inside my heart, but I was a very messed up person, and it showed in all aspects of my life.
Now at 33, I am confident, happy and on the track I want to be on to have a long fullfilling life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 15:51:39 GMT -5
How have I changed over the years? Deliberately in many areas, and in some, life made choices for me beyond my control. In the latter, I had to make the proper adjustments to flow with the change. I've learned to process drastic changes more calmly and without long drawn out internal anguish. I accept how God ( not trying to bring on any religious back & forth conversation) wants to bring his truth and changes to newbies & oldies & to those who are yet to become his. I've learned to become a better listener and to respond more wisely in every situation if needed. In each area above I did not do so well in, in my earlier years. I've grown in many ways since then, learned a whole lot more about life, and will continue to do both as long as I shall live.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 6, 2014 15:58:28 GMT -5
Well, I thought I had but it appears I am going thru my second childhood in my old age so guess not
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ken a.k.a OMK
Senior Associate
They killed Kenny, the bastards.
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Member is Online
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Post by ken a.k.a OMK on Mar 6, 2014 17:00:47 GMT -5
I hate change. I know it narrows my experiences. Being retired 4 years now has brought much change and I've learned from the good and bad. Just give me a little time to embrace it.
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motherto2
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Post by motherto2 on Mar 6, 2014 18:38:31 GMT -5
I have changed, but in my core I'm basically the same. I care about people, and love to help when I can, whether it's holding a door for someone, or helping an elderly neighbor. But I've become a much more pessimistic person than I used to. People used to say if you couldn't get along with me, then you must be a jerk. I took it as a compliment at the time, but looking back, I think it was my people pleaser attitude on steroids. Now I'll hold my own if I need/want to, but a lot of the time, I just don't care that deeply about something, so I let it go. I'm talking mostly about fellow workers. I work because I have a life, not the other way around. So, it's not worth it to rock the boat with someone when mostly I could care less. Works for me. Plus I have short timers attitude, and will be retiring in a few years. I have always maintained that people would be surprised to find out I don't really care for them, because I'm very good with the poker face. I don't hate anyone, but there are a few I don't care for.
I try to be more tolerant of folks and their beliefs. That's a work in progress, and I feel I've progressed quite a bit these last several years .
I always wanted to be a wife and stay at home mom. I got the first for several years, but was never able to stay home with my kids. Probably good that I wasn't able to, because after divorcing, I was able to support me and my kids, and will have a good retirement. But I've always disliked my job, and that is one regret I will probably always have - not making a change years ago. That's another long story though. But as I said, in the end I've been blessed, and will be able to retire at a fairly young age and be comfortable. I'm not a showy person, and I'm a home body, so I don't have big wants and needs.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2014 18:42:19 GMT -5
I've thought about this question off and on throughout the day. It's a good question.
20 years ago I had a toddler and a baby and was on my way to being seperated and eventually divorced from my husband even though I didn't realize it at the time. I was still thinking I would be married forever, now I don't care if I'm single forever.
15 years ago I'd been at my current job for 1 year and I was grateful that some of the financial pressure of being a single parent had been lessened. I was busy plotting and planning how I would get us out of the hood and buy a house so my children would have a yard they could play in without me being afraid they'd get hit by a stray bullet. I got the house that was suppose to be my starter house, but I'm still content living here.
10 years ago, I was happily going about my business, raising my kids and enjoying life not knowing that in a year a series of events would start that would ultimately shatter my world and almost break my spirit. I'm definitely not the same person I was 10 years ago. I'm a bit wiser, but I miss the person I was back then.
5 years ago, I was just finally figuring out how I could put my life back together. I lost 5 years of my life to despair. To be completely honest, in some ways I still haven't completely recovered, so in some ways the total is 9 lost years and counting.
So, the last 9 years were the ones with the biggest changes. I lost my faith in a lot of things I'd previously believed to be true, which is both good and bad. I have more patience and tolerance for children, less for bullshit. I've become a bit of a recluse (which I don't think is good for me) and even less concerned with what people think about me. I've learned that my needs take priority over other people's wants, and that's ok. I've learned that there can be some valuable lessons learned from some of the most shitty ass situations if you look for them. And I learned to say "no" when I really need to.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 6, 2014 18:55:12 GMT -5
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tskeeter
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Post by tskeeter on Mar 6, 2014 19:51:08 GMT -5
A while back I created a thread asking if people could change or not. The responses were mixed. So now I pose a related, but slightly different question. How have you changed throughout your life? Are you the same person you were 5, 10, 15, or 20+ years ago? Do you feel you're a better person, or not than you used to be? I'm the same person. Only now I look wiser and more prosperous. (Read grayer and fatter.)
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Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
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Post by Jaguar on Mar 6, 2014 20:33:07 GMT -5
I've changed a lot since I started posting on MSN and now ProBoards in March 2011. From then I got out of debt, I'm way more confident and I just know more not only about the world, but also about myself.
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tractor
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Post by tractor on Mar 7, 2014 7:52:36 GMT -5
I have lost my drive to succeed. When I was younger it was all about making money and getting ahead. I did grat at it, and just when I really started to maximize my billable hours, my bosses hours went down, and he claimed all my profits. I learned quickly, that he was going to pay me the same wether I busted my ass, or drifted along. I chose to drift.
Now after a major job change, I make more money, still drift, and focus more on my family. Could I be doing more? Sure, but why? I have all I need, two teenage boys who need me to spend time with them to transition them into independent adults, and a house to take care of. I always figured once they are away at college, I will focus more on my career, but then again, with both of the boys gone, I will probably just spend more time on MY stuff, more quality time with my wife, and coast along until I retire.
Over the past 20 years I learned that there's more to life than just getting ahead in the corporate world. Enjoy what you have, it's that simple.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 12:36:49 GMT -5
Wow.
Twenty years ago I was in the death throes of my first marriage. DS and I were walking around on eggshells trying to keep the Ex from blowing up. I was a doormat and a peacemaker.
I've since gotten people I don't trust and people who put me down out of my life. It makes it much easier. I'm less tolerant of having my time wasted and am willing to walk out or pay more for better service. My mother has said many times that I'm a different person since marrying DH because he's loving and supportive. It's still hard for me to call people on bad behavior but I'm getting better at it. Finally, I like my body. I've never had a weight problem but I'm in better shape than I've been in years because I have the time and the tools (gym membership, heart rate monitor, sprint triathlons, 50K charity bike rides) to stay fit.
The basic values haven't changed. I still prefer to buy quality things that last, and wear them till they fall apart. (Today's outfit includes a pair of 20+- year old Timberland boots.) Travel is still a big financial priority although I no longer love flying and consider it something you endure to get where you're going if you absolutely can't drive there.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 12:45:10 GMT -5
I'm still more or less the same person I've always been. Opening a business is bringing out my asshole side a bit more, but only because I'm forced to interact with morons on a more consistent basis. Dealing with the state could drive even the nicest guy to become a raging dick. and you can interchange state, with feds, or counties, and you still get the same result government is so intrusive in our lives now yes...i want clean air, and safe food and i dont want the chinese invading do we need them controlling it seems every aspect of our lives though? and shaun....you are still a tiny operation.....i hope you grow, and grow, and grow then you can deal with some of the other headaches that you havent even contemplated yet
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 12:48:24 GMT -5
I don't care if you (in general) like me or not. I don't care if my life meets your expectations and no matter what you think of how it should be doesn't affect me or change my mind on how I will live it. I've learned to be true to myself and live the way I want to live my life because I'm the only one that has to live with it. if more people cared less, about what everyone else freaking thought, the world would be a better place
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 7, 2014 12:52:27 GMT -5
I don't care if you (in general) like me or not. I don't care if my life meets your expectations and no matter what you think of how it should be doesn't affect me or change my mind on how I will live it. I've learned to be true to myself and live the way I want to live my life because I'm the only one that has to live with it. if more people cared less, about what everyone else freaking thought, the world would be a better place Maybe. I thought the world world be a better place if people had more shame.
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Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Mar 7, 2014 14:02:11 GMT -5
Thanks... I think. I don't even want to imagine the BS some of you guys have to deal with.
The more I think about it the more attractive renting warehouse space and only selling online looks. I can get warehouse space for a fraction of my retail space. The only customer interaction you have to deal with is through email. No kids climbing my shelves, dropping my merchandise, opening stuff and hiding it behind the stuffed animals. No city office cashing my check for my business license renewal months ago, not sending me the new one until the end of February, and sending me letters in the meantime that I don't have a current one prominently displayed in my place of business. The state just got me my official copy of my seller's permit last week. It's dated 7/29/2013. 7 months to mail a single piece of paper. Same state department charges me a late fee if I don't file my sales tax returns within one week of the end of the quarter. I have to wonder how many people literally wipe their ass with their notices and mail them back.
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The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
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Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
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Post by The Captain on Mar 7, 2014 14:13:55 GMT -5
Thanks... I think. I don't even want to imagine the BS some of you guys have to deal with. Yea, wait until you get more employees and get a little bigger, then you have the whole alphabet soup to deal with: FLSA, ADA, FMLA, EEOC, OSHA, CPCA, and those are only the ones I know of (and I'm not a labor lawyer).
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hurley1980
Well-Known Member
I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 17:35:06 GMT -5
Posts: 1,959
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Post by hurley1980 on Mar 7, 2014 15:03:19 GMT -5
I was pretty much the worst person ever at 23 years old. Not so much deep inside my heart, but I was a very messed up person, and it showed in all aspects of my life. That's how I feel about my 19yo self. I've changed/evolved so much since having kids. IME, there is nothing that can cause you to self assess and become more introspective than suddenly becoming responsible for another human being. It's one thing to mess up, slack off, or be reckless with your own life, but once a helpless baby, that is entirely dependent on you, enters the picture, !@#% gets real. I don't have kids or plan on having any, but I understand what you are saying. I saw how much my behavior affected my personal relationships with the people I love. The affect my life and the way I was living it had on my mother is what really got me to seek therapy and change the person I was for the better. And though she is not my child, I know one day I will be taking care of her in her old age, and I am really the only family she has and the only person she can depend on. I figured it was time for her to stop having to take care of me, and for me to start taking care of her (like she did with her mother, and so on, so on). I owed it to her to get my shit together, and she is very grateful I did!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2014 9:59:30 GMT -5
I am a lot more like my 18-year-old self now than I was for the twenty-four years I was married to the ex. I tried so hard to be the person that he wanted me to be that I quit being myself.
I'm pretty happy with the person I am today. I am not perfect. I don't even want to be. Perfect people are rather boring to be around.
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vonna
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Post by vonna on Mar 8, 2014 10:18:46 GMT -5
I am a relaxed type-B person versus the uptight type-A younger self I used to be.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 8, 2014 10:20:01 GMT -5
I am a lot more like my 18-year-old self now than I was for the twenty-four years I was married to the ex. I tried so hard to be the person that he wanted me to be that I quit being myself. I'm pretty happy with the person I am today. I am not perfect. I don't even want to be. Perfect people are rather boring to be around.I always thought it had to be absolutely exhausting being perfect.. therefore, I'm not
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