Apple
Junior Associate
Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Mar 1, 2014 11:46:36 GMT -5
I will let you know this incident shook me pretty good and has set off my anxiety the last couple days, so good on you for trying to make me feel bad.
I agree with you, and you don't look bad. I try not to make eye contact with crazy.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 8, 2024 20:19:58 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2014 11:48:41 GMT -5
OMG it was a door ding....if everyone got so worked up about a door ding there would be multiple assaults every day in parking lots everywhere....if you don't want a door ding, then park between the lines or park at the far reaches of the parking lot.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 1, 2014 11:56:12 GMT -5
This is why I park between expensive cars! They never want to door ding me!!
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giramomma
Distinguished Associate
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Post by giramomma on Mar 1, 2014 12:19:25 GMT -5
I'm at DD's figure skating rehearsal and I'm bored. And cold. Im sweaty from zumba prior to skating I'm watching Dora. I can't engage in any of my hobbies while watching Dora. My almost 2 yo will want to "help." I'm also running out of projects to do with my middle child. I've got a couple more things up my sleeve (baking, making crystals)...but man...I'm struggling..
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 8, 2024 20:19:58 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2014 12:42:16 GMT -5
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,617
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Post by swamp on Mar 1, 2014 12:56:46 GMT -5
Rein her in now. You thought her clothes and shoe fetish was expensive. You ain't seen nothing yet.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 1, 2014 12:59:59 GMT -5
This is why I park between expensive cars! They never want to door ding me!! That's what I do. I won't park by people that have no regard for their own car because I know they will have absolutely no regard for mine.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 1, 2014 13:05:29 GMT -5
I will let you know this incident shook me pretty good and has set off my anxiety the last couple days, so good on you for trying to make me feel bad.
I don't know how I am trying to make you feel bad. You keep saying you are done engaging with me on this topic but then you keep responding. You said I was taking it personally but I think you are. Yes, I would be livid if someone whacked my car and then walked away. But I also wouldn't have handled it like the lady in the car did. I wasn't there so I don't know what really happened. If there was no damage I would have moved on.
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Miss Tequila
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 10:13:45 GMT -5
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Post by Miss Tequila on Mar 1, 2014 13:06:47 GMT -5
OMG it was a door ding....if everyone got so worked up about a door ding there would be multiple assaults every day in parking lots everywhere....if you don't want a door ding, then park between the lines or park at the far reaches of the parking lot. That is crazy. Peoe shouldn't just whip open their car doors. I'm very careful when I open my doors so I don't ding someone's car.
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taz157
Senior Associate
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Post by taz157 on Mar 1, 2014 14:12:54 GMT -5
Rein her in now. You thought her clothes and shoe fetish was expensive. You ain't seen nothing yet. Yeah that!
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 1, 2014 19:03:31 GMT -5
It is not much of a consolation, but consider that your in-laws may be using the shower as a way to help financially because they think the SIL is less capable than you. Most likely it is not a measure of their love but rather a measure of what they view as competence and independence. I have a very needy and incompetent SIL who is pregnant, and we are all planning huge shower gifts as a way to help out without creating an expectation of ongoing assistance. My other SIL is in a bind because she is a teacher and is getting hit up for free daycare over the summer, but so far DH and I are planning to drop down a huge gift of practical stuff like diapers and desitin and then get away unscathed. I was also a teacher and would get people asking this occasionally. If their kids were school age and it was a one off, I did it if my kids liked their kids. Otherwise I had no problem saying I was spending time with my kids and we were doing something that day. No one can use you without your permission. I just spent the day with my teacher SIL that is planning the shower, and she is really struggling with this. She is afraid she won't be able to say no and will end up waiting on the other sister in law and taking care of the baby all summer. Whenever she makes an excuse, the other sister in law badgers her and debates her excuses. I just went on Amazon and ordered the Boundaries book that you all rave about. I am hoping it will give her some better strategies to say no.
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TrixAre4Kids
Familiar Member
'Not all those who wander are lost' - J. R. R. Tolkien
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 22:33:15 GMT -5
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Post by TrixAre4Kids on Mar 1, 2014 19:05:15 GMT -5
A pet peeve of mine is stores that don't have cart corrals to put the carts back in! What do they expect me to do? Walk it all the way back inside the store? Not happening in my universe....
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 1, 2014 19:05:31 GMT -5
Her new mantra needs to be, "NO ONE CAN USE ME WITHOUT MY PERMISSION."
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sarcasticgirl
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 14:39:51 GMT -5
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Location: Chicago
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 1, 2014 20:01:41 GMT -5
I ate too much fresh lobster at dinner and now my belly hurts and I am too full for rum drinks! Whine!!!?
Sent from my Nexus 4 using proboards
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milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
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Post by milee on Mar 1, 2014 20:39:03 GMT -5
I was also a teacher and would get people asking this occasionally. If their kids were school age and it was a one off, I did it if my kids liked their kids. Otherwise I had no problem saying I was spending time with my kids and we were doing something that day. No one can use you without your permission. I just spent the day with my teacher SIL that is planning the shower, and she is really struggling with this. She is afraid she won't be able to say no and will end up waiting on the other sister in law and taking care of the baby all summer. Whenever she makes an excuse, the other sister in law badgers her and debates her excuses. I just went on Amazon and ordered the Boundaries book that you all rave about. I am hoping it will give her some better strategies to say no. One of my good friends who's a psychologist and corporate executive coach taught me a very effective way to say no. It must be said with absolute warmth, charm and an "earnest" demeanor. You give a genuine smile, act a little regretful and say, "you are so kind to ask (or you can substitute "think of me")... but I'd prefer not to." Brief pause while you look them in the eye. Smile. Change subject to some other pleasant topic.
Very tough for someone to argue with your personal preference. If you give other excuses, some pushy people will try to "solve" those issues so you can do what they want. They can't really "solve" the fact that you prefer not to.
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Sunnyday
Well-Known Member
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Post by Sunnyday on Mar 1, 2014 21:33:44 GMT -5
I finally got to eat my Pho, and then I felt stuffed (lots of liquid and noodles) and really uncomfortable for two hours, and then I got the runs.
My husband agreed with me that his family throwing a baby shower for his sister and not for me is unfair. I felt so validated, because normally his family is golden and can never do any wrong. I might only have been the daughter in law, but he was still their son who was having a baby.
I can't figure out for when we should plan our trip to Paris. We have the option of June, July and August. No way for August, it's hot, muggy and half the city shuts down. June is too close. July has too many anniversaries, birthdays and events than we want to attend.
First world whines
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grits
Senior Member
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Post by grits on Mar 1, 2014 21:52:35 GMT -5
I am not available to babysit your child. It is not my fault that you are too stupid to take birth control.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 1, 2014 22:47:02 GMT -5
I am not available to babysit your child. It is not my fault that you are too stupid to take birth control. LOL. This is the SIL that keeps lecturing me about how sinful birth control is, and that the people in the Bible didn't use it.
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zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
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Post by zibazinski on Mar 2, 2014 6:50:01 GMT -5
Sometimes I'm glad I don't have siblings so I don't have more idiotic family members.
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sarcasticgirl
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Joined: Jan 4, 2011 14:39:51 GMT -5
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Location: Chicago
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Post by sarcasticgirl on Mar 2, 2014 7:50:00 GMT -5
I ate too much fresh lobster at dinner and now my belly hurts and I am too full for rum drinks! Whine!!!? Sent from my Nexus 4 using proboards I want your problems! Are you on vacation? Yes, I am in the Caribbean... And UGH! I have to freaking wear sunscreen! What is up with that. P.s. leftover lobster in scrambled eggs. *die* Sent from my Nexus 4 using proboards
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 17:03:17 GMT -5
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Location: WITNESS PROTECTION
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Post by NoNamePerson on Mar 2, 2014 7:52:16 GMT -5
I am not available to babysit your child. It is not my fault that you are too stupid to take birth control. And she might want to email this (above) and put it in all caps
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 8, 2024 20:19:58 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2014 8:24:27 GMT -5
I want your problems! Are you on vacation? Yes, I am in the Caribbean... And UGH! I have to freaking wear sunscreen! What is up with that. P.s. leftover lobster in scrambled eggs. *die* Sent from my Nexus 4 using proboards My whine: I want to book a flight to the Caribbean and strangle SarcasticGirl but they're too expensive....
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resolution
Junior Associate
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Post by resolution on Mar 2, 2014 10:43:04 GMT -5
I just spent the day with my teacher SIL that is planning the shower, and she is really struggling with this. She is afraid she won't be able to say no and will end up waiting on the other sister in law and taking care of the baby all summer. Whenever she makes an excuse, the other sister in law badgers her and debates her excuses. I just went on Amazon and ordered the Boundaries book that you all rave about. I am hoping it will give her some better strategies to say no. One of my good friends who's a psychologist and corporate executive coach taught me a very effective way to say no. It must be said with absolute warmth, charm and an "earnest" demeanor. You give a genuine smile, act a little regretful and say, "you are so kind to ask (or you can substitute "think of me")... but I'd prefer not to." Brief pause while you look them in the eye. Smile. Change subject to some other pleasant topic.
Very tough for someone to argue with your personal preference. If you give other excuses, some pushy people will try to "solve" those issues so you can do what they want. They can't really "solve" the fact that you prefer not to.
It is certainly worth a try and i will suggest it. My husbands side of the family is so nice and welcoming, it is like they have no natural defenses for a new person coming in and taking advantage of them. They keep asking me for advice on how to say no or set limits. She is very hard to handle but no one wants to kick out BIL from all the family events and now there is a baby on the way. This SIL doesn't follow normal social rules, and will question anything, even it is something that a neurotypical person would never do. This is the same one that was fantasizing that my husband would die and I would lose my job and my house and then become destitute and turn to her for help. She doesn't follow normal social rules.
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motherto2
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 15:42:27 GMT -5
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Post by motherto2 on Mar 2, 2014 10:43:52 GMT -5
OK, my whine. My lower back is absolutely killing me, but yet I felt the need to take both dogs for a walk. And move furniture. And clean the carpet where the dogs stay. And install some puck lights under my cabinets. Can't understand why my back hurts. Actually, I have a bad back, and I think all the sitting around this whacked out winter has made it worse. I am now going to be shelling out big bucks to start back to the chiropractor on Tuesday.
Jumping on the band wagon - while we haven't had the worst weather like others, it's still one of our worst in a few years, especially cold wise. I used to think I had that seasonal disorder from lack of sunlight, but I've come to the conclusion it's not the sunlight, it's the warmth/cold issue. When I have to hole up in the chair with a blanket, I get depressed. I'm not talking about once in a while want to curl up, I'm talking every day. Wah. And I always gain weight, which makes it worse.
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grits
Senior Member
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Post by grits on Mar 2, 2014 10:50:00 GMT -5
resolution, has anyone considered that your SIL might be nuts?
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 2, 2014 10:58:13 GMT -5
resolution, has anyone considered that your SIL might be nuts? She is on the autism spectrum and is seeing a therapist. We are all hoping the baby is healthy and doesn't inherit her mental health issues.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 2, 2014 11:00:22 GMT -5
I didn't mean to derail everyone's problems with eating too much lobster, so I will back off the SIL at this point.
Hope everyone is keeping warm. We are getting another 12 inches tonight and I am sure all the grocery stores are mobbed.
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grits
Senior Member
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Post by grits on Mar 2, 2014 11:05:44 GMT -5
resolution, has anyone considered that your SIL might be nuts? She is on the autism spectrum and is seeing a therapist. We are all hoping the baby is healthy and doesn't inherit her mental health issues. If she has a form of autism, regular social interactions may not work. You may just have to firmly say no, and stick to your guns. I know half a dozen people who are autistic. They are very sweet, and loving people. None of them act like your SIL.
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resolution
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Post by resolution on Mar 2, 2014 11:16:26 GMT -5
She is on the autism spectrum and is seeing a therapist. We are all hoping the baby is healthy and doesn't inherit her mental health issues. If she has a form of autism, regular social interactions may not work. You may just have to firmly say no, and stick to your guns. I know half a dozen people who are autistic. They are very sweet, and loving people. None of them act like your SIL. A lot of her symptoms do not match the autism spectrum but do match a huge sense of entitlement. She flat out told us that now she is family and it is our responsibility to support her and take care of her because of her disability, and then a few weeks after getting engaged she quit her job and told us it was because she could. I am doing ok saying no, but the rest of the family is not able to do it and keeps asking me to help them say no. But they have to be able to do it for themselves.
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grits
Senior Member
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Post by grits on Mar 2, 2014 11:22:10 GMT -5
If she has a form of autism, regular social interactions may not work. You may just have to firmly say no, and stick to your guns. I know half a dozen people who are autistic. They are very sweet, and loving people. None of them act like your SIL. A lot of her symptoms do not match the autism spectrum but do match a huge sense of entitlement. She flat out told us that now she is family and it is our responsibility to support her and take care of her because of her disability, and then a few weeks after getting engaged she quit her job and told us it was because she could. I am doing ok saying no, but the rest of the family is not able to do it and keeps asking me to help them say no. But they have to be able to do it for themselves. In that case, she is just a selfish pushy beech. They need to get a backbone, and tell her to take a hike. Does your BIL have a spine? He ought to be intervening on the behalf of his own family. If he has no spine, no wonder she is pregnant. He can contort into all kinds of positions.
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