tloonya
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 14:08:59 GMT -5
I'm not making fun of you (what part of that was making fun of you not knowing 'temporary insanity'?). I'm asking if the man was doing anything so horribly vile and/or threatening that it could cause you to have gone into temporary insanity? If not, just own your reaction. Yep, like writing: Was the banner guy threatening you, abusing you, or discussing your personal childhood trauma? wasn't an abuse? When did I ever said he did this to me and you knew he didn't and I was just using this example to 'get the word right' and you just went and made fun of me...
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Feb 26, 2014 14:15:05 GMT -5
You were claiming that your reaction was similar to 'temporary insanity' and therefore not your fault. By your own definition (which I quoted) of such, I was pointing out that it was not at all the same thing. None of that was making fun of you for not knowing the term off the top of your head. It was just about pointing out the flaw in your assertion that your yelling was not your own responsibility.
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mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 26, 2014 14:17:25 GMT -5
In general, if you're hollering and yelling you're much more likely to be dismissed as someone not worth bothering with as anything else. Making a point is done much better using a clear, well-modulated vocal tone and logic. I am not sure about that. Many times in my life I had to yell because missis nice didn't cut it. 'You refund my money or I will write to your Headquarter'...usually did the trick always. Or 'take this crap you sell back or I will call your boss' worked. 'Please, exchange this crap' never worked. And 'I think it would be fair to give me refund because you had not delivered promised services' also fell in a crack. So sometimes yelling is the only way. BTW tell me you are not yelling at your kids. If I was yelling at my kids, they knew all was well. It was when my voice got quiet and I looked them right in the eye they knew the end had come. Everything you said above can be said in the same way. Low-pitched, quiet voice. Full eye contact. You'll be surprised how much better you do. If you're not getting satisfaction, raise your vocal tone so it can be heard by those near you but NEVER yell. Yelling makes you look out of control and others will feel sorry for the person you're yelling at. You've actually lost the battle before it ever begins. Yelling is NEVER the ONLY way. It's the worst possible way.
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mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 26, 2014 14:18:41 GMT -5
I'm not making fun of you (what part of that was making fun of you not knowing 'temporary insanity'?). I'm asking if the man was doing anything so horribly vile and/or threatening that it could cause you to have gone into temporary insanity? If not, just own your reaction. Yep, like writing: Was the banner guy threatening you, abusing you, or discussing your personal childhood trauma? wasn't an abuse? When did I ever said he did this to me and you knew he didn't and I was just using this example to 'get the word right' and you just went and made fun of me... RMS did not make fun of you, Tloonya. You're reading something into Rocky's post that just isn't there.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Feb 26, 2014 14:20:43 GMT -5
Honestly, if my post's point was that unclear, than I'm sorry about that in any case, Looney!
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tloonya
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 14:27:54 GMT -5
I am not sure about that. Many times in my life I had to yell because missis nice didn't cut it. 'You refund my money or I will write to your Headquarter'...usually did the trick always. Or 'take this crap you sell back or I will call your boss' worked. 'Please, exchange this crap' never worked. And 'I think it would be fair to give me refund because you had not delivered promised services' also fell in a crack. So sometimes yelling is the only way. BTW tell me you are not yelling at your kids. If I was yelling at my kids, they knew all was well. It was when my voice got quiet and I looked them right in the eye they knew the end had come. Everything you said above can be said in the same way. Low-pitched, quiet voice. Full eye contact. You'll be surprised how much better you do. If you're not getting satisfaction, raise your vocal tone so it can be heard by those near you but NEVER yell. Yelling makes you look out of control and others will feel sorry for the person you're yelling at. You've actually lost the battle before it ever begins. Yelling is NEVER the ONLY way. It's the worst possible way. ON THE PHONE!
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tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 14:28:43 GMT -5
Honestly, if my post's point was that unclear, than I'm sorry about that in any case, Looney! You just saying that
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Feb 26, 2014 14:32:33 GMT -5
Nope, I'm sorry if I wrote unclearly in your opinion. Using the English language correctly is very important to me. I was an English major, so I love using words to convey things well and properly. I'm disappointed when I don't.
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mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 26, 2014 14:38:37 GMT -5
If I was yelling at my kids, they knew all was well. It was when my voice got quiet and I looked them right in the eye they knew the end had come. Everything you said above can be said in the same way. Low-pitched, quiet voice. Full eye contact. You'll be surprised how much better you do. If you're not getting satisfaction, raise your vocal tone so it can be heard by those near you but NEVER yell. Yelling makes you look out of control and others will feel sorry for the person you're yelling at. You've actually lost the battle before it ever begins. Yelling is NEVER the ONLY way. It's the worst possible way. ON THE PHONE! Same approach. While you may not be able to make eye contact, if you're calm, logical and insistent, you'll get the results you want. If you don't, simply ask (quietly but firmly) for the name of the person in charge and deal with that person. If I end up in a situation like that, I will find a way to present myself in person to get the problem solved.
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Feb 26, 2014 14:42:23 GMT -5
I often find I have less success the more agitated I become. Keeping control of myself and the situation seems to work better in getting what I'm seeking. No one is going to have 100% success all the time, but it does seem usually to not improve things when I become unglued.
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mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
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Today's Mood: Saddened by Events
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 26, 2014 14:46:58 GMT -5
I've only had one situation in which I had to resort to unorthodox behavior to get what I felt was fair, and that wasn't even in this country. I did end up sitting in the middle of the police chief's desk, Indian fashion, until he agreed I hadn't broken any law and wasn't required to give the little policeman any money. Actually, all considered, it was kinda fun.
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tloonya
Junior Associate
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 14:51:08 GMT -5
Nope, I'm sorry if I wrote unclearly in your opinion. Using the English language correctly is very important to me. I was an English major, so I love using words to convey things well and properly. I'm disappointed when I don't. See, for a second, Rocky I believed you. English/shminglish is not the case here. Case is that YOU KNEW that: banner guy NEVER threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma! However you choose to laugh at my expense. As a smart person as you claim you are - you should had understood (and you had) that I wrote that all as an example to help someone to help me to find a right word. Because no way you could seriously think that banner guy threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma. Seriously. Man up!
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tloonya
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Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 14:53:41 GMT -5
I've only had one situation in which I had to resort to unorthodox behavior to get what I felt was fair, and that wasn't even in this country. I did end up sitting in the middle of the police chief's desk, Indian fashion, until he agreed I hadn't broken any law and wasn't required to give the little policeman any money. Actually, all considered, it was kinda fun. And you wore a short skirt!
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Rocky Mtn Saver
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Post by Rocky Mtn Saver on Feb 26, 2014 14:54:48 GMT -5
I got that you were searching for the right word. In fact, I agreed in my post that it was the right word, based on your examples. Then I explained how it was not applicable to your situation. I'll stand by that, no worries.
However, we appear to have understood the words but have been reading two different things into what was said on both sides. I can't resolve that with explanations, apparently, so we'll just have to agree to disagree on what our actual intentions were or weren't.
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tloonya
Junior Associate
What status?
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:22:13 GMT -5
Posts: 8,452
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Post by tloonya on Feb 26, 2014 15:05:52 GMT -5
I got that you were searching for the right word. In fact, I agreed in my post that it was the right word, based on your examples. Then I explained how it was not applicable to your situation. I'll stand by that, no worries.
However, we appear to have understood the words but have been reading two different things into what was said on both sides. I can't resolve that with explanations, apparently, so we'll just have to agree to disagree on what our actual intentions were or weren't.
So when you asked me IF banner guy threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma you honestly thought that there was a possibility of it. And thinking of possibility of banner guy threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma you asked that question out of the goodness of your heart so maybe I need help coping with abuse...thanks
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mmhmm
Administrator
It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
Joined: Dec 25, 2010 18:13:34 GMT -5
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Post by mmhmm on Feb 26, 2014 15:46:40 GMT -5
I got that you were searching for the right word. In fact, I agreed in my post that it was the right word, based on your examples. Then I explained how it was not applicable to your situation. I'll stand by that, no worries.
However, we appear to have understood the words but have been reading two different things into what was said on both sides. I can't resolve that with explanations, apparently, so we'll just have to agree to disagree on what our actual intentions were or weren't.
So when you asked me IF banner guy threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma you honestly thought that there was a possibility of it. And thinking of possibility of banner guy threatened me, abused me, or discussed my personal childhood trauma you asked that question out of the goodness of your heart so maybe I need help coping with abuse...thanks Tloonya, that's enough. Rocky did not insult you in any way. She simply asked if the guy you were yelling at had threatened or abused you. That is not an insult. Now drop it. mmhmm, Administrator
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