Common Core Funnies

[Virgil Showlion]

...because bad education is at least good for a laugh.

Observers point out that 0, 12, 24, (any higher multiple of 12) are all correct answers. For kids who think outside the box, any multiple of 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 is correct since there's no stipulation that each bag contain the same number of stickers, nor is there any stipulation that each friend receives the same number of bags.



For grade 2. Nothing like making 6x8 easy.



With teacher's comments in blue.



The New Math



Heaven help the poor kid who just tries to remember that 15 - 7 = 8.



This is an assignment for an English course. So who gets the axe? The homosexual black power advocated [sic], or the fat Jewish woman with the cognitively disabled son?



All hail the generalissimo!



None of them. The meet is an exhibition.

Anyone else have any to add? I'm told that laughably bad Common Core materials aren't exactly hard to come by.

[jkapp]

Actually, the "Who will survive" one is interesting...I'd like to field that one.

So 4 people need to be left behind.  Sorry Dane family, but you're out:

Dr. Dane enjoys politics and the last thing we need is for some power hungry politico trying to control the group.

Mrs. Dane is a diabetic so will die anyway...I doubt we'd find an island with ready-to-use insulin shots.

And, of course, poor Bobby.  But the liberals have taught us that you cannot break up families.  Too bad for you.


That leaves one more spot...so who is it?  Mr Newton!  Oh, I know the questions already: because he's a black power advocate?  Because he might be gay?

No...it's because his hobby is music.  The last thing I would want is for this prick to make himself some bongo drums and drive the rest of us to suicide.


So pretty obvious, and easy, choices if you ask me.

[billisonboard]

Jan 30, 2014 10:45:42 GMT -5 jkapp said:

Actually, the "Who will survive" one is interesting...I'd like to field that one.

So 4 people need to be left behind.  Sorry Dane family, but you're out:

Dr. Dane enjoys politics and the last thing we need is for some power hungry politico trying to control the group.

Mrs. Dane is a diabetic so will die anyway...I doubt we'd find an island with ready-to-use insulin shots.

And, of course, poor Bobby.  But the liberals have taught us that you cannot break up families.  Too bad for you.


That leaves one more spot...so who is it?  Mr Newton!  Oh, I know the questions already: because he's a black power advocate?  Because he might be gay?

No...it's because his hobby is music.  The last thing I would want is for this prick to make himself some bongo drums and drive the rest of us to suicide.


So pretty obvious, and easy, choices if you ask me.

Very well articulated argument. Exactly what the assignment is designed to help kids develop.

[Tired Tess]

Don't you need to know how many friends Juanita has?  



Yea, yea, I know.  I'm missing the point.

[Deleted]

Jan 30, 2014 12:42:05 GMT -5 Tired Tess said:

Don't you need to know how many friends Juanita has?  



Yea, yea, I know.  I'm missing the point.

Juanita has no friends.   Who ever heard of a Mexican kid with friends?

[workpublic]

um jaunita is gautemalan you insensitive stereotyper

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 11:00:12 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jan 30, 2014 10:45:42 GMT -5 jkapp said:

Actually, the "Who will survive" one is interesting...I'd like to field that one.

So 4 people need to be left behind.  Sorry Dane family, but you're out:

Dr. Dane enjoys politics and the last thing we need is for some power hungry politico trying to control the group.

Mrs. Dane is a diabetic so will die anyway...I doubt we'd find an island with ready-to-use insulin shots.

And, of course, poor Bobby.  But the liberals have taught us that you cannot break up families.  Too bad for you.


That leaves one more spot...so who is it?  Mr Newton!  Oh, I know the questions already: because he's a black power advocate?  Because he might be gay?

No...it's because his hobby is music.  The last thing I would want is for this prick to make himself some bongo drums and drive the rest of us to suicide.


So pretty obvious, and easy, choices if you ask me.

Very well articulated argument. Exactly what the assignment is designed to help kids develop.

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

[EVT1]

What's wrong with the math shortcuts?  Very handy if you ask me.

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 13:59:51 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

What's wrong with the math shortcuts?  Very handy if you ask me.

The two complaints I've seen thus far is that the "shortcuts" take far longer than the algorithms we were taught, and they require a ridiculous amount of writing and rewriting, compounding the chances of making a mistake.

In some cases I can see where they might help kids to understand workings of the algorithms, but they aren't being used in this supplementary way. They've completely replaced the original algorithms.

There's also the problem of scaling.

The "new subtraction" algorithm works reasonably well for an expression like 95 - 16, but try 1067504 - 323721 and unless you're willing to break the subtraction into six sequential sub-problem, the new algorithm is all but worthless. The tried-and-true algorithm (which we all know) can still be quickly and easily computed in one line.

[Artemis Windsong]

these unfortunate children are lucky they don't know the difference.

Thanks for the insight into today's school work.

[billisonboard]

Jan 30, 2014 13:52:19 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Jan 30, 2014 11:00:12 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Very well articulated argument. Exactly what the assignment is designed to help kids develop.

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

Or which 7 are the best choices to continue to live. The fact that it is cast as a life and death scenario gives it a seriousness that helps kids focus. A scenario in which you are one member of a group who must decide which seven of eleven soda flavors to serve in a machine with only seven spigots just wouldn't have the same effect.

[Wisconsin Beth]

Jan 30, 2014 14:48:02 GMT -5 @sroo4 said:

 Is it me or does anyone else think that this group is doomed no matter who gets a seat in the lifeboat.  And why are all these people with issues together in the first place.  It seems like a very unlikely group to be together.  

Because if they used the 3 hour tour scenario for the SS Minnow, they'd be used for copyright infringement or something. 

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 14:43:16 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jan 30, 2014 13:52:19 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

Or which 7 are the best choices to continue to live. The fact that it is cast as a life and death scenario gives it a seriousness that helps kids focus. A scenario in which you are one member of a group who must decide which seven of eleven soda flavors to serve in a machine with only seven spigots just wouldn't have the same effect.

What are the kids being taught? How to quantify the value of a person?

What if not everybody in the group agrees? What if they start bartering lives to reach a consensus? "OK, Billy, you can throw out the homosexual guy if I get to throw out the Mormon."

Or suppose they prioritize by health and toss out the least likely to survive? Fine. Great. What have they learned? Nothing. Are they right? No more and no less right than the group that decides not to split up families, or the group that selects survivors to minimize conflict, or the group that selects survivors with the most family members, or the group that selects survivors with the most useful skills, or the group who selects survivors based on moral fitness per some standard, or the group who draws straws.

None of these answers is academically right or wrong. What real-world skill is being taught relative to English? That when it comes to contrived hypotheticals about choosing between life and death, it's all good? Who says that the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed?

If some teacher issued this exercise to me today as part of a group exercise, I'd tell him/her "no way".

[EVT1]

Jan 30, 2014 14:18:12 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Jan 30, 2014 13:59:51 GMT -5 EVT1 said:

What's wrong with the math shortcuts?  Very handy if you ask me.

The two complaints I've seen thus far is that the "shortcuts" take far longer than the algorithms we were taught, and they require a ridiculous amount of writing and rewriting, compounding the chances of making a mistake.

In some cases I can see where they might help kids to understand workings of the algorithms, but they aren't being used in this supplementary way. They've completely replaced the original algorithms.

There's also the problem of scaling.

The "new subtraction" algorithm works reasonably well for an expression like 95 - 16, but try 1067504 - 323721 and unless you're willing to break the subtraction into six sequential sub-problem, the new algorithm is all but worthless. The tried-and-true algorithm (which we all know) can still be quickly and easily computed in one line.

Maybe I am wrong but- I was assuming they are teaching mental shortcuts- not a replacement for standard addition and subtraction methods.  Just a quicker way to move numbers around in easier to manage chunks.

They should know both IMO.  Have to learn to crawl before you can walk- so before you think about allowing calculators....

[Deleted]

DR DANE
MARY EVANS
MRS CLARK
MR BLAKE
FATHER FRANS
MRS GARCIA
JEAN GARCIA

FLAME AWAY

[EVT1]

Jan 30, 2014 15:13:43 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Jan 30, 2014 14:43:16 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Or which 7 are the best choices to continue to live. The fact that it is cast as a life and death scenario gives it a seriousness that helps kids focus. A scenario in which you are one member of a group who must decide which seven of eleven soda flavors to serve in a machine with only seven spigots just wouldn't have the same effect.

What are the kids being taught? How to quantify the value of a person?

What if not everybody in the group agrees? What if they start bartering lives to reach a consensus? "OK, Billy, you can throw out the homosexual guy if I get to throw out the Mormon."

Or suppose they prioritize by health and toss out the least likely to survive? Fine. Great. What have they learned? Nothing. Are they right? No more and no less right than the group that decides not to split up families, or the group that selects survivors to minimize conflict, or the group that selects survivors with the most family members, or the group that selects survivors with the most useful skills, or the group who selects survivors based on moral fitness per some standard, or the group who draws straws.

None of these answers is academically right or wrong. What real-world skill is being taught relative to English? That when it comes to contrived hypotheticals about choosing between life and death, it's all good? Who says that the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed?

If some teacher issued this exercise to me today as part of a group exercise, I'd tell him/her "no way".

They are being taught politics. 

[Deleted]

and i guess i wont be teaching my grandchildren any of their math

really....this is how we are teaching math now?

basic addition and subtraction is rote memorization....sames as the times tables

4 + 7 = 11    always has been and always will be

making a child jump through 4 hoops to get to that answer is beyond ridiculous

[billisonboard]

Jan 30, 2014 15:13:43 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Jan 30, 2014 14:43:16 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Or which 7 are the best choices to continue to live. The fact that it is cast as a life and death scenario gives it a seriousness that helps kids focus. A scenario in which you are one member of a group who must decide which seven of eleven soda flavors to serve in a machine with only seven spigots just wouldn't have the same effect.

What are the kids being taught? How to quantify the value of a person?
The process of them looking at what they would do and discussing it with others would lead to them seeing both what they value and that others do not necessarily value the same things.
What if not everybody in the group agrees? What if they start bartering lives to reach a consensus? "OK, Billy, you can throw out the homosexual guy if I get to throw out the Mormon."
Wouldn't that lead to a great discussion on how human beings work to reach consensus in stressful situations.
Or suppose they prioritize by health and toss out the least likely to survive? Fine. Great. What have they learned? Nothing. Are they right? No more and no less right than the group that decides not to split up families, or the group that selects survivors to minimize conflict, or the group that selects survivors with the most family members, or the group that selects survivors with the most useful skills, or the group who selects survivors based on moral fitness per some standard, or the group who draws straws.
Learning that there isn't a "right" answer but that different groups develop different ways to reach consensus in such situations is a valuable lesson.
None of these answers is academically right or wrong. What real-world skill is being taught relative to English? That when it comes to contrived hypotheticals about choosing between life and death, it's all good? Who says that the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed?
I find the connection to English is the skills developed to articulate your perspective. Useful when analyzing literature. If it were my classroom, there would be a discussion of quality of discussion and logic in reaching a decision, not a focus on the decision made. A discussion on whether or not "the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed" would be another excellent use of time.
If some teacher issued this exercise to me today as part of a group exercise, I'd tell him/her "no way".

Again if it were my classroom, I would ask a student doing so to articulate reasons why they felt it was not appropriate for them to participate. That would be valuable for the student to do and for classmates to hear.

[jkapp]

Jan 30, 2014 13:52:19 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

Jan 30, 2014 11:00:12 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Very well articulated argument. Exactly what the assignment is designed to help kids develop.

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

Deserve has nothing to do with it.  Four people have to be left behind, at least according to the test question (I also wondered why the other four couldn't just hang onto the boat while floating in the water - but that option wasn't offered)

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 15:42:11 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Jan 30, 2014 15:13:43 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

What are the kids being taught? How to quantify the value of a person?
The process of them looking at what they would do and discussing it with others would lead to them seeing both what they value and that others do not necessarily value the same things.
What if not everybody in the group agrees? What if they start bartering lives to reach a consensus? "OK, Billy, you can throw out the homosexual guy if I get to throw out the Mormon."
Wouldn't that lead to a great discussion on how human beings work to reach consensus in stressful situations.
Or suppose they prioritize by health and toss out the least likely to survive? Fine. Great. What have they learned? Nothing. Are they right? No more and no less right than the group that decides not to split up families, or the group that selects survivors to minimize conflict, or the group that selects survivors with the most family members, or the group that selects survivors with the most useful skills, or the group who selects survivors based on moral fitness per some standard, or the group who draws straws.
Learning that there isn't a "right" answer but that different groups develop different ways to reach consensus in such situations is a valuable lesson.
None of these answers is academically right or wrong. What real-world skill is being taught relative to English? That when it comes to contrived hypotheticals about choosing between life and death, it's all good? Who says that the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed?
I find the connection to English is the skills developed to articulate your perspective. Useful when analyzing literature. If it were my classroom, there would be a discussion of quality of discussion and logic in reaching a decision, not a focus on the decision made. A discussion on whether or not "the relevant information for making the decision is even among the facts listed" would be another excellent use of time.
If some teacher issued this exercise to me today as part of a group exercise, I'd tell him/her "no way".

Again if it were my classroom, I would ask a student doing so to articulate reasons why they felt it was not appropriate for them to participate. That would be valuable for the student to do and for classmates to hear.

I see a whole lot of discussion going on. With the exception of "learning that there isn't a 'right' answer but that different groups develop different ways to reach consensus in such situations", which is of marginal usefulness to a political science discussion, I still fail to see what knowledge, skills, and attitudes the kids are learning.

If it were my classroom, there would be a discussion of quality of discussion and logic in reaching a decision, not a focus on the decision made.

And what would you expect the students to conclude about the quality of discussion and logic in reaching a decision? That the group basing its decision on moral considerations used superior logic to the one that based its decision on physical ones? The group that debated all the options ad nauseum probably came to a better conclusion than the group that quickly agreed on one and stuck to it? The group that faced serious problems reaching a consensus had a higher quality discussion than the group where a strong leader emerged and painlessly elicited consensus?

Then you'd have to discuss the quality of discussion and logic in assessing the quality and logic in reaching a decision.

At the end of the day, you've "discussed" everything until the kids are blue in the face, but there are still no right answers. There's no instruction being given. The kids still haven't learned anything useful, except maybe an added appreciation of how much democracy sucks.

Acceptable for a philosophy class, maybe. As for English (literature, language, writing, prose, poetry, research skills, rhetoric, literary devices, etc., etc.): nothing.

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 17:03:55 GMT -5 jkapp said:

Jan 30, 2014 13:52:19 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

Deserve has nothing to do with it.  Four people have to be left behind, at least according to the test question (I also wondered why the other four couldn't just hang onto the boat while floating in the water - but that option wasn't offered)

That's the other thing too.

Half the time you ran this exercise, the only discussion you'd wind up with is the one picking out the 1,001 reasons why the problem statement is too contrived to be taken seriously.

[billisonboard]

Sir Virgil,
Might you be able to provide evidence that 7 of the 8 items shown in the OP are in any way connected to Common Core curriculum?

One clearly is.
The "Who Should Survive" appears to be a teacher generated paper.
"Hundred chart addition" predates Common Core.
The others might or might not be connected to Common Core.

[billisonboard]

Jan 30, 2014 17:25:16 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

... I still fail to see what knowledge, skills, and attitudes the kids are learning.
Knowledge of individual differences in thought processes is what is being learned. Reasoned discourse is the skill being learned. The discussion will have to take place before it could be determined what attitudes the kids are learning.
... And what would you expect the students to conclude ...? ...
I don't feel there is any need for me to expect specific student conclusions. They would be free to draw their own conclusions, whatever they may be.
...
At the end of the day, you've "discussed" everything until the kids are blue in the face, but there are still no right answers. There's no instruction being given. ...
...

I have participated in many discussions in which students instruct each other. But I am more of a "guide on the side" than a "sage on stage" type educator.

[Virgil Showlion]

Jan 30, 2014 18:03:01 GMT -5 billisonboard said:

Sir Virgil,
Might you be able to provide evidence that 7 of the 8 items shown in the OP are in any way connected to Common Core curriculum?

One clearly is.
The "Who Should Survive" appears to be a teacher generated paper.
"Hundred chart addition" predates Common Core.
The others might or might not be connected to Common Core.

All of the photos were posted by teachers or parents on a "show us your students' common core homework" Twitter feed. I trust teachers to recognize curriculum changes from pre-CC to post-CC.

If that isn't good enough for you, maybe we should pick the five items we feel are most likely to be common core and have a long, pointless discussion about how we came to our conclusions, bearing in mind that there are no goals, no evaluation criteria, and no right answers.

Or let's imagine that you, me, DJ, mmhmm, phoenix, workpublic, Paul, cereb, Archie, gdgyva, and jkapp are all on the SS. Guppy and let's have some "reasoned discourse" on whose life is most worth saving and whose is the most expendable. We can all share our ideas and gain wonderful insights into each other's thought processes, which is apparently something useful to learn.

[billisonboard]

Jan 30, 2014 19:44:59 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

...

Or let's imagine that you, me, DJ, mmhmm, phoenix, workpublic, Paul, cereb, Archie, gdgyva, and jkapp are all on the SS. Guppy and let's have some "reasoned discourse" on whose life is most worth saving and whose is the most expendable. We can all share our ideas and gain wonderful insights into each other's thought processes, which is apparently something useful to learn.

Don't we do this every day?

[EVT1]

Jan 30, 2014 17:03:55 GMT -5 jkapp said:

Jan 30, 2014 13:52:19 GMT -5 Virgil Showlion said:

A well-articled argument about which four people don't deserve to live?

Deserve has nothing to do with it.  Four people have to be left behind, at least according to the test question (I also wondered why the other four couldn't just hang onto the boat while floating in the water - but that option wasn't offered)

I'll see you in hell William Munny

[Shooby]

What the freak do you do with those "boxes" for the math? I never learned math like that. Most of this stuff looks idiotic and nonsensical. And, are we really still doing this stupid Lifeboat scenario?

[Shooby]

If you throw ANYONE out of the boat, are you not making some kind of value judgement no matter who? Is this what we really want to teach our kids?

[Shooby]

And, the 15 - 7 thing, no wonder our kids can't make change at a register anymore. Wow.

[billisonboard]

Jan 31, 2014 7:32:50 GMT -5 Shooby said:

What the freak do you do with those "boxes" for the math? I never learned math like that. Most of this stuff looks idiotic and nonsensical. ...

The hundreds chart is a valuable learning resource to help young children with counting to 100, counting by 2's, 5's, 10's and seeing counting patterns. Regular use of the hundreds chart from kindergarten to the 3rd grade supports many counting concepts. math.about.com/od/countin1/a/100chart.htm