quince
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Post by quince on Jan 22, 2014 20:14:21 GMT -5
Mmm. Spam musubis.
So far the kid likes veggies and spice and doesn't like sweets. I fed him a quarter of a stuffed pepper tonight and he loved it. I hope that making tasty stuff available early enough means he bypasses a picky phase, but not betting my life on it.
I anticipate we'll be pretty forgiving when it comes to our kid's eating preferences. As long as he's not rude about it, we'll work with him, and we'll definitely be involving him in cooking/food choices early. Neither of us are particularly picky, although the husband doesn't like pickled cabbage of any sort and thinks shellfish are too much work, and I'm not likely to make a full meal of gizzards, beef liver, and raw oyster.
If the kid goes vegan, though, he's going to have to tolerate a lot of cross contamination, or do a lot of cooking his own damned food. We both like meat and butter is awesome (and goes with everything.)
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Jan 22, 2014 20:19:00 GMT -5
I have one kid that I can't get to eat anything and one that eats everything put in front of him. I don't know. I raised them both the same as far as feeding them. My kids are the same way. My daughter will eat anything and my son is picky like I am. My brother would eat anything and I am picky. I raised my kids the same and my parents raised my brother and I the same. Go figure.
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Jan 22, 2014 20:28:14 GMT -5
....unless as an adult you make and eat things that you don't like but someone else does
I make corned beef for DH. His grandmother used to make it all the time so he has fond memories of it. I compromise and make it once a year for St Patty's Day. I'm not a huge fan of it but DH appreciates the gesture. Freaking stinks up the house, that's another one I only make it once a year. Go figure. Corned beef and cabbage is one of the dishes I will eat. I love sour beef and dumplings as well, but a steak is gross.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Jan 22, 2014 20:38:40 GMT -5
Neither my brother, nor I, was a picky eater. My dad did most of the cooking. He'd make the meal, mother would plate it and it would be put on the table. From there, you were on your own. If you asked "What's that?", you were told "It's food. Eat it." We did. The only things I will not eat are stewed tomatoes and tomato aspic. Just way too acidic for me. Other than that, I'm easy. My kids, fortunately, were pretty much the same. DD doesn't care for yellow cheeses but will eat white cheeses. I don't think there's anything DS won't eat. If there is, I've never seen it!
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Jan 22, 2014 20:40:56 GMT -5
I also have one child that will eat anything and the the other is picky.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 22, 2014 20:41:44 GMT -5
Oh wow its like you were reading my mind. A few hours ago I re-discovered this comic, which so perfectly encapsulates the fun of having a picky eater in a restaurant: www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/06/28I was thinking "I wonder if there should be a thread on this subject". Before I post more, I really want to see what some others have said. DW is picky, and while she has expanded somewhat since we've been together, she still has her things she won't touch. It is frustrating because it severely limits what she is willing to eat. Sometimes we can find a middle ground, or I'll make extra of vegetables for her while I have a bit of meat. A lot of it feels mental as well. Its like they've decided ahead of time that they can't possibly like something, and its therefore blacklisted for eternity. I have a related question I want to pose to you all, but first I'm going to read the thread to see if it is already addressed. I was just itching to post the comic, so enjoy.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 22, 2014 20:41:59 GMT -5
I am blown away by some of these parenting advice columns. Half the time they suggest what I have always done and never thought twice about it. Of course I'm not making multiple meals or letting my kid have a hot dog every night while we eat something else. I wonder what parenting advice I'm not taking because I'm not already doing it.
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MarleyKeezy78
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Post by MarleyKeezy78 on Jan 22, 2014 20:54:32 GMT -5
I grew up eating a lot of different stuff. There were things I didn't like but I was the kid who would order liver and onions when we went out to eat. I have grown much pickier and now will not or cannot eat things I used to eat before I was pregnant with DS. I used to love sushi, clams, scallops and such and now the thought of eating sushi makes me sick to my stomach and the other foods make me hugging the toilet sick now DH was a cheap pizza and burgers guy when I met him and now he eats salmon and all sorts of new stuff It only took 11 years but we're getting there (just requested I make fish tacos soon too)! DS had a hard time because we found out he has some life threatening food allergies and had to call 911 once, so I was scared to give him new foods until he could tell me if something was wrong. He was a picky eater for a longtime and now at almost 5yrs old we are winning the food war. One of his favorites is baked salmon with veggie (besides mac n cheese ) He also just discovered goats milk and loves it! ETA: DS will not touch a hotdog or hamburger with a 10 foot pole although he keeps wanting a crabby patty and if I make him a special burger at home maybe he would eat it. He will also not use sauce or gravy of any kind Crazy kid
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Jan 22, 2014 20:57:16 GMT -5
Oh wow its like you were reading my mind. A few hours ago I re-discovered this comic, which so perfectly encapsulates the fun of having a picky eater in a restaurant: www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/06/28I was thinking "I wonder if there should be a thread on this subject". Before I post more, I really want to see what some others have said. DW is picky, and while she has expanded somewhat since we've been together, she still has her things she won't touch. It is frustrating because it severely limits what she is willing to eat. Sometimes we can find a middle ground, or I'll make extra of vegetables for her while I have a bit of meat. A lot of it feels mental as well. Its like they've decided ahead of time that they can't possibly like something, and its therefore blacklisted for eternity. I have a related question I want to pose to you all, but first I'm going to read the thread to see if it is already addressed. I was just itching to post the comic, so enjoy. My pickiness is a taste texture thing. I just don't like the taste of most meats. However tomatoes are probably one of the few fruits/veggies I won't touch.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 22, 2014 21:00:59 GMT -5
I can't get the article to open. From the time my kids started eating food they are what I made. I don't make something I know they absolutely hate (my youngest despises butternut squash) but I only believed that they hated something after trying it many times.
My kids are very open eaters. My 12 year old loves sushi, eat curry, all kinds if fish, stuff I wouldn't consider eating!lol
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 22, 2014 21:03:19 GMT -5
It sounds like a lot of us who are discussing this issue are also the ones who do the cooking. I know the article was targeted towards kids, but adults can be picky too. "Make something extra" can work, depending on what it is and what else is being made. If I'm making something labor intensive, I would not be keen on being asked to add yet another thing. If it was a matter of substituting cauliflower for broccoli, we'll talk. I wouldn't make it a power play, and deliberately put something in a salad that DW doesn't like. But if I'm already elbow deep in preparing the salad, I'm not going to take kindly to being asked to make soup. Sometimes a lack of choice helps the matter. Give people too much choice and they will tell you what they want (spoiler alert: it seldom syncs up with what you were in the mood to make   And yeah, picky eaters holding social occasions hostage are not fun. I'm willing to pick a place that has enough variety that everyone can find "something". I may even be willing to cook you your own side, or omit a particular seasoning. I'm not changing the whole menu, especially if you are one out of many. So the question I want to pose to you was touched upon in the post that said "hide it in something else". One friend tricked her DH by hiding something he hated (shrimp, I think) in some dish and not telling him. When the husband loved the dish, she confessed, and they laughed about it. DW told me "if you ever do that to me, I'll never eat your food again". I know the balance of power is totally different with a kid vs. an adult. Just curious how you all feel about food trickery -- or alternatively, not confessing that the dish contains something you know they hate, but probably wouldn't notice.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Jan 22, 2014 21:07:52 GMT -5
It sounds like a lot of us who are discussing this issue are also the ones who do the cooking. I know the article was targeted towards kids, but adults can be picky too. "Make something extra" can work, depending on what it is and what else is being made. If I'm making something labor intensive, I would not be keen on being asked to add yet another thing. If it was a matter of substituting cauliflower for broccoli, we'll talk. I wouldn't make it a power play, and deliberately put something in a salad that DW doesn't like. But if I'm already elbow deep in preparing the salad, I'm not going to take kindly to being asked to make soup. Sometimes a lack of choice helps the matter. Give people too much choice and they will tell you what they want (spoiler alert: it seldom syncs up with what you were in the mood to make And yeah, picky eaters holding social occasions hostage are not fun. I'm willing to pick a place that has enough variety that everyone can find "something". I may even be willing to cook you your own side, or omit a particular seasoning. I'm not changing the whole menu, especially if you are one out of many. So the question I want to pose to you was touched upon in the post that said "hide it in something else". One friend tricked her DH by hiding something he hated (shrimp, I think) in some dish and not telling him. When the husband loved the dish, she confessed, and they laughed about it. DW told me "if you ever do that to me, I'll never eat your food again". I know the balance of power is totally different with a kid vs. an adult. Just curious how you all feel about food trickery -- or alternatively, not confessing that the dish contains something you know they hate, but probably wouldn't notice. I always do food trickery. It is a running joke in my house. I get "mom, are these really potatoes", "are these wheat noodles", "did you hide something in here". Since my kids were little I e put wheat germ in some food, finely chippd spinach and buried it in homemade pizza, used rutabagas instead of potatoes when I cooked a roast, etx
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Jan 22, 2014 21:10:48 GMT -5
Dh has tried to trick me. He knows I am not faking my pickiness because one bite and I instantly hate it.
When he fixes salad, he makes me my own bowl, which is nothing but leafy greens ( I dislike iceberg lettuce), and then he makes a large salad for him and the kids which has everything.
If he fixes lobster, he will fix me some shrimp.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 22, 2014 21:13:35 GMT -5
If you give kids the choice... they'll feast on chips and chocolate at the expense of proper food.I removed the choice and made the eating decisions for them, to keep them healthy We did struggle with greens... and for a while there it was frozen peas, carrots and fruit with everything...but we got through it. I was never going to turn dinner time into a big performance of who likes what...or separate meals. I am assuming you are speaking for yourself only. My kids can eat whatever we have in the house and they have NEVER wanted to eat chips or chocolate as a meal.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Jan 22, 2014 21:14:39 GMT -5
...:::"I get "mom, are these really potatoes",":::...
How funny. About an hour ago, I too was asked if my avatar was really potatoes.
...:::"If he fixes lobster, he will fix me some shrimp.":::...
The way you say this makes me think that lobster is a regular menu item in the house of doxieluvr.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 22, 2014 21:17:37 GMT -5
I routinely eat things I don't like, because my husband sets the menu. And he takes it very personally if you complain about the food. But, the jury is out on whether I'm an adult or not, so I'm not sure my opinion matters. My husband routinely nags me about eating cake for breakfast See, I don't know if I could tolerate that. That just screams "disrespect" to me
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doxieluvr
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Post by doxieluvr on Jan 22, 2014 21:20:33 GMT -5
His ancestors were commercial fisherman. He was raised on lobster. If it's on sale at the grocery store, he will come home with one or two and steam them himself. It happens 4-5 times a year. We have shrimp frequently because it is one of the few meats I will touch.
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milee
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Post by milee on Jan 22, 2014 21:45:24 GMT -5
I do the same thing as Miss Tequila, slipping in healthy things or substituting healthier alternatives when possible. Sometimes works, sometimes flops.
I also sometimes work on getting them used to certain tastes by starting out with very, very small amounts of it mixed in other things and then over time increasing the concentration of the offending ingredient until they're gradually used to it. Again, sometimes works, sometimes flops. It's worked well with Chia, kale, fish sauce and certain beans. Miserable failure so far with flax, salmon, anchovies and Brussels sprouts.
Edited to add: While I don't usually volunteer there's a little something added to a dish, I don't lie about it either. If directly questioned, I either divert attention to something else or 'fess up. The idea isn't to make them not trust any of the food, it's to get them to try new things. So far, they think it's funny and have been good sports. Even with the stuff they don't end up liking. They know it's OK to try a bite and not eat it, it's just not OK to be rude or make negative comments once something's been served.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jan 22, 2014 22:56:45 GMT -5
My 5 year old is REALLY REALLY picky. My twins aren't picky at all, but they don't have a huge appetite either. They are more the type that chow down when they are hungry and eat light when they aren't. And if they do eat light, they don't ask for a bunch of snacks later on.
With my oldest, we've tried everything and have made some progress. Unlike other kids I've known, he can't be tricked into eating things because he's a bit too perceptive and because he almost has a phobia to new foods. The foods he chooses to eat are ok, but he eats them everyday and we have to get his fruits/veggies in with the help of a juicer. He is so picky that he doesn't even want to try sweets...hasn't had ANYTHING sugary (candy, ice cream, cake) in over 4 years.
We resorted to taking him to "feeding therapy", which can either be done by a speech therapist or occupational therapist. They seem to think his primary problems are weak oral motor skills and a very sensitive gag reflex, combined with some food anxiety. The treatment are exercises to desensitize his gag reflex and slowly introducing him to new foods.
All in all, I'm pretty happy so far and we've made some small progress. I just wish I would've known about it earlier so we could've been making progress all along. Oh well, better late than neve.r
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Sunnyday
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Post by Sunnyday on Jan 22, 2014 23:52:15 GMT -5
I routinely eat things I don't like, because my husband sets the menu. And he takes it very personally if you complain about the food. But, the jury is out on whether I'm an adult or not, so I'm not sure my opinion matters. My husband routinely nags me about eating cake for breakfast See, I don't know if I could tolerate that. That just screams "disrespect" to me I complained at first, but given his reaction, I no longer do. But you can't win! If I don't say anything, then he'll ask me if I like it. And I will say that it's not bad. And then he will say, "oh so, you don't like it." It's like his version of the "does this make me look fat?" No matter what I say, unless it's total praise, it's not going to go well. I don't lie very much, and when I do, I'm not good at it. I can't praise something that isn't good. If I didn't do something very well, I would want feedback. It's not a question of disrespect. How is it disrespect? You make something that sucks, and I'm suppose to say that it was delicious? At a dinner party, yes. In my home, with my husband? Come on! I should be allowed to not like something. I will still eat it. I'm not going to let food go to waste. And I'm thankful that he cooks it. He once served me sauerbraten. Do you know what sauerbraten is? It's so gross. He spent hours making it. It's like sauerkraut with ginger bread cookies crushed in it. And when I completely mess up one of my recipes, I don't mind if someone says, "oh those cookies weren't so good. Maybe if you baked them at a lower temperature, it wouldn't be so dry." Offense? Disrespect? None, and none imo
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Jan 23, 2014 0:43:51 GMT -5
Hmm.. how do I get the wife signed up for that?
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quince
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Post by quince on Jan 23, 2014 8:03:15 GMT -5
Hell, I think it is disrespectful to routinely make things a member of your family doesn't like, and be offended when they don't like it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2014 8:40:44 GMT -5
This is for whoever asked about vegetarianism. DD doesn't want to eat red meat because cows are too cute! (but chicken are OK... ).
So when I prepare something using red meat she has some beans instead. You're right that it doesn't take any extra time to give her something she wants to eat. But my point is that I am not making her an entirely separate meal! I am with everyone else that I am not a short order cook.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2014 9:28:56 GMT -5
This is for whoever asked about vegetarianism. DD doesn't want to eat red meat because cows are too cute! (but chicken are OK... ). So when I prepare something using red meat she has some beans instead. You're right that it doesn't take any extra time to give her something she wants to eat. But my point is that I am not making her an entirely separate meal! I am with everyone else that I am not a short order cook. and those are exactly the kind of substitutions I'm talking about....or making 2 veggies because someone doesn't like one of them....or leaving the sauce off things....and on and on....but then again, it's not like I made anything so incredibly complex that taking 5 minutes to make something else is a big deal. you may also want to look into veggie/black bean burgers and the veggie crumbles (what I use for DD if I'm making tacos for the rest of us)
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Post by Deleted on Jan 23, 2014 9:32:18 GMT -5
I will, thank you! I am just trying to prevent something simple (making a meal so we can sit down and eat together) from snowballing into a giant hassle. And I think that is what everyone else is thinking as well. Or not...
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Jan 23, 2014 9:37:09 GMT -5
See, I don't know if I could tolerate that. That just screams "disrespect" to me I complained at first, but given his reaction, I no longer do. But you can't win! If I don't say anything, then he'll ask me if I like it. And I will say that it's not bad. And then he will say, "oh so, you don't like it." It's like his version of the "does this make me look fat?" No matter what I say, unless it's total praise, it's not going to go well. I don't lie very much, and when I do, I'm not good at it. I can't praise something that isn't good. If I didn't do something very well, I would want feedback. It's not a question of disrespect. How is it disrespect? You make something that sucks, and I'm suppose to say that it was delicious? At a dinner party, yes. In my home, with my husband? Come on! I should be allowed to not like something.I will still eat it. I'm not going to let food go to waste. And I'm thankful that he cooks it. He once served me sauerbraten. Do you know what sauerbraten is? It's so gross. He spent hours making it. It's like sauerkraut with ginger bread cookies crushed in it. And when I completely mess up one of my recipes, I don't mind if someone says, "oh those cookies weren't so good. Maybe if you baked them at a lower temperature, it wouldn't be so dry." Offense? Disrespect? None, and none imo No, I meant that he is being disrespectful to you by making foods that you don't like. I make most of the meals in our house, it would never occur to me to make something knowingly that my husband doesn't like it. Obviously there are times when he either doesn't like the recipe or doesn't like the way something came out and if that happens, I offer to give him something else. In general, I don't subscribe to the idea "well, if *I* am doing something, I'll do it the way *I* want it whether you like it or not". I think in a marriage both spouses should make an effort to make things easier/nicer for one another.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 23, 2014 9:45:36 GMT -5
Just curious how you all feel about food trickery -- or alternatively, not confessing that the dish contains something you know they hate, but probably wouldn't notice
I do it all the time. I own two Sneaky Chef cookbooks. It's no secret I do it, DH is well aware I am doctoring everything. The running joke in our house is "What weird healthy shit did you put in this time?"
Milee I've had a lot of success with ground flaxseed. I put it in any ground meat dish I am making. It disappears into the meat and nobody notices. Baking with it works pretty well too.
I didn't like mixing it with bread crumbs as a coating it got really soggy. It does work if I mix it with breadcrumbs to top something like Mac & Cheese.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Jan 23, 2014 9:48:15 GMT -5
When we were first married I eliminated everything my husband liked. After alternating peas and zucchini for 3 years, I told him to suck it - I was going to have a variety of vegetables. He could eat them or not. Now his favorite is Brussel Sprouts and second favorite is asparagus - two veges he absolutely swore he hated. He even started to eat green peppers, or at least not complain when he had to eat around them. I need more variety than picky eaters do. I can't live my life doomed to a handful of items in any given category. Everyone is just going to have to stretch themselves, or find something else to eat.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Jan 23, 2014 9:55:52 GMT -5
can't live my life doomed to a handful of items in any given category.
If I limited myself to what DH liked when we were dating I'd be living on Hot Pockets, canned cream corn, Cambells cream of broccoli soup (barf!) and the occassional frozen pizza. I refused to eat that way so I learned to cook and tough shit to DH if he "didn't like it". He was free to cook or nuke something. He eats a way more varied diet now. Funny Thyme, my DH swore to high heaven he hated brussel sprouts and aparagus, now they're two of his favorites too. He didn't hate the vegetables, he hates the way his mom cooks them. After many sunday dinners with her I'm understanding why DH "hates" so many food items. If something's cooked to a slimy smelly grey mush of course you're going to hate it. Roasted with brown butter and apples is freaking divine.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jan 23, 2014 10:31:28 GMT -5
DF has a very limited repertoire of what he can eat Cooking for him is nothing short of boring because its a limited menu and nothing like I grew up on or what the kids and I ate. But I cook for him what he can eat because that's what he can eat and not suffer. But it's hard on my health so now I'm making two meals basically for dinner. If we had had kids together no way would I have allowed them to eat like he does unless they had the same health issues. Once they're on their own, they can eat what they choose.
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