Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2013 19:39:07 GMT -5
I wouldnt let my kids go over there. I would limit their playtime to at my house and honestly i would check (discreetly or not) any backpacks they may bring. They may want to show off and bring the guns. The best is probably let the friendahip die, as bad as it may sound.
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Peace77
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Post by Peace77 on Dec 26, 2013 19:50:43 GMT -5
I would ask the parents if their guns are locked up, if the ammunition is stored and locked up separately, and if the kids have been taught gun safety.
I would teach my kids to never point a gun at a person. Kids can forget to leave when they should.
I agree with previous suggestions that the kids play at your house.
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 26, 2013 20:11:40 GMT -5
Honestly, I think you need to find out firsthand the gun situation. A description from an excited/anxious 9 year old can be a little over exaggerated and not entirely accurate. As a parent, you have a right to ask about gun safety and as a parent they should be more than willing to ease your concerns. Even if the guns are in a glass case I doubt they're loaded and ready to go. They probably/hopefully have safety locks on them and the ammo is stored separately and not accessible to the kids. MM has a good point. Not only might a kid be excited about the situation, but he might flat out lie in order to impress his friends. My older son once told a friend that he has access to the guns in our house - told the friend that he knows the combination to the safe. That's not true and when I found out he told the friend this, we talked about why he would say that. He confessed it was to sound important and show off.
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justme
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Post by justme on Dec 26, 2013 20:12:42 GMT -5
Maybe go over and say your son came to you anxious about the guns and you want to make him feel comfortable, but since you haven't seen the guns and don't know the storage situation you can't calm him. And then ask for some information about how the guns are so you can assure him. Or something along those lines.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2013 20:15:07 GMT -5
If they have guns in the house, i still wouldnt wsnt my kud playing over there because of the no supervision thing. No supervision may end up guns being taken out without the parents knowing. No supervision sounds to me parents may be too relaxed in making the guns fully inaccessible. I would not risk it.
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Dec 26, 2013 20:57:41 GMT -5
Also want to add that my experience with hunters and gun enthusiasts is that they are super anal about taking care of the guns and practicing gun safety. It's usually the loons who have one in case of a zombie invasion that keep them loaded and underneath their pillow... My husband is super anal wih guns in our house since we have kids. I admit that I am not as confident about other people. That's why i always prefered that kids come to my house to play/hangout. It is the complete lack if supervision that would bother me. Most kids push limits as teenagers (god knows mine does!) but good parents are there to punish their asses! If these parents let them run wild, imagine what their teenage years are going to be like...
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Dec 26, 2013 21:07:02 GMT -5
I'd just ask the parents and tell them the kids were talking about the guns.
Just about every house my kids go to has guns. It's just life up here. Everyone has them. Most people are responsible gun owners.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 26, 2013 22:44:24 GMT -5
Even before you mentioned the guns I was thinking you should start to wean the relationship. Every toy on the planet and no supervision? Just wait until they are in middle school and the kids discover cigarettes and pot. Nope. I'd start doing subtle things to end the friendship altogether. And absolutely no going to their house anymore. Hell, I'd probably call the cops just to give them an FYI. Like, "Hi, my next door neighbor has several guns that aren't locked up and his kids are unsupervised all day. What should I do?" sort of thing. I weaned a friendship between a neighborhood boy (7) and my kids this past year. He swears regularly and doesn't listen to his mother. Call me overprotective, but I saw nothing good out of it so my kids suddenly became too busy to play for a few months. First off - they are locked up. They are likely in a gun cabinet. Second - it isn't illegal to own guns. Calling the cops will only annoy everyone and make you look like a ninny. Just keep your kids away from the house, and don't call the cops or CPS. That is totally inappropriate.
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moneymaven
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Post by moneymaven on Dec 27, 2013 1:04:41 GMT -5
Break off the friendship on all levels. Civility is fine but none of this my house/your house to play business. I am a gun owner and carry concealed and I would never ever buy a child, like you're describing, a firearm. Sounds like he'd bring that into your home and then you're liable. Hell no.
I would however take both of your kids to a gun safety class right away. Even if you don't own, it's important to teach our children to be leaders in a situation where they may come upon a gun (ie always assume its loaded and ready to shoot, immediately get a responsible adult, don't touch the gun, never point a gun (toy or fake) at someone, etc). Every child benefits from that education.
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 27, 2013 7:23:22 GMT -5
First off, you've described children with no limits and very little supervision. Not a good combo, lazy parenting. Then you describe guns as well. Anything can be a weapon in the wrong hands but this goes a bit far. Those kids a in trouble at school already. Parents do nothing. Your kids will get in trouble just being around them. Sad, but true. It's time to cut the friendship, even before the guns.
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bookkeeper
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Post by bookkeeper on Dec 27, 2013 8:24:53 GMT -5
Our county sheriff's office has trigger locks for free. I bet your local police dept. or sheriff's office does too.
Go meet your neighbors, get a look at the gun cabinet and if necessary, get some free trigger locks for them and your piece of mind.
I grew up in a home with guns, my children grew up in a house with guns. It was usually some kid that was visiting that wanted to see the guns and would try to do something unsafe.
I bought a door knob that locks with a key. I switched out the door knob on a linen closet with the locking one and bam! secure storage for firearms. This little trick works really good for keeping your liquor away from the teenagers too. Until our sons left for college, when I left the house for an overnight, I locked up the liquor bottles in the linen closet. I was always afraid of someone outside our family being alcohol poisoned in my absence.
I keep the ammunition in a cabinet on a different floor of our home than our guns. Children can be taught gun safety at an early age (DS#1 got his first BB Gun at age 3), but it sounds like these children are being taught very little at home.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 27, 2013 10:14:53 GMT -5
DH and I talked about it some more. At this point we don't want to talk to the parents about the guns etc. As someone pointed out in an earlier post, parents tend to be very defensive. That has been my experience as well. DH does not feel comfortable talking to them. Moreover, we don't know in detail how well they safeguard their firearms. Our main issue is combining a firearm with their 9 year old hyperactive, have-serious-trouble-following-discipline, I-care-damn-attitude boy. I am sure there are responsible firearm owners. I just have doubts I can put our neighbors in that category. Negligent parenting and overrun kids is what we are seeing there and thought he firearms may not be an issue now, they might be in a few years when the boys hit teenage. Regarding gun safety, my kids have had gun safety lecture at school. Twice a year the school calls a police officer to talk about guns to the children. DS and DD can recite every single rule related to that..."Don't touch a gun", "If you see one lying unattended, call an adult", "Guns should be used with caution" etc. But that cannot compensate for parental supervision IMO. Moreover, there are are other discipline issues with the kids too. They run wild and have to bear no consequences for their actions. That to me is more of a concern. Frankly, not much positive is coming my kids way from this friendship. The neighbors have been very happy because DS seems to be a good influence on their son (not bragging. She told me a few months ago) But we can't say the reverse has been true. OTOH, we have had to squash some bad habits in the bud that DS seemed to have been developing, like procrastination of schoolwork, priortizing play and fun time before work, talking back etc. Nothing serious now but something that may become an issue later. So the bottom line is we do not agree to the negligent and no rules parenting and the effect it has had on the kids. So we have decided to wean the kids. DS and DD have to play outside with them if the weather is above 35F. If not, you hang out at our house. School starts back in a week and it will be such easier to keep them apart. I am 90% sure those kids would not like to hang out at our house for long periods. They never do because we restrict screen time. Like you cannot be on the xBox for the entire 4 hours you are here. You can play for a couple of hours then you must do something else. The boy always leaves as soon as the 2 hours on xBox are up, the girl sometimes stays. We'll see how it goes. But for now the plan is to wean the kids off. I also plan to tote the kids around to other friends houses. DS is a chirpy social animal so he has no dearth of friends. The neighbor kids may never run into any trouble, or they may. Its just a chance DH and I do not feel like taking. Thanks for all your opinions. They were of great help.
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NancysSummerSip
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Post by NancysSummerSip on Dec 27, 2013 10:15:22 GMT -5
First off, you've described children with no limits and very little supervision. Not a good combo, lazy parenting. Then you describe guns as well. Anything can be a weapon in the wrong hands but this goes a bit far. Those kids a in trouble at school already. Parents do nothing. Your kids will get in trouble just being around them. Sad, but true. It's time to cut the friendship, even before the guns. I think Zib has a couple of really good points. The guns are an issue, but anything can be a weapon in the hands of someone who wants to make it one. People are injured and killed with knives, baseball bats, sticks, pipes, rope - when I was in law enforcement, I was always aware that anything could be made into a weapon. And if trouble with school has started now, and there's no intervention from mom and dad, it will not get better on its own. If there are no swift and sure consequences, there will be no change. That's not to say that kids don't grow out of bad behavior. Several of you have mentioned having teens from hell, only to have them grow up into excellent and responsible adults. But as parents, you did not desert them and stop the discipline. You kept it up until it clicked, or until they figured out that bad behavior has bad results. I'd end the friendships, or at least put very tight controls on it. It might be overreacting, and these kids could turn out to be stellar citizens. But without boundaries, don't bet on it.
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DVM gone riding
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Post by DVM gone riding on Dec 27, 2013 10:46:04 GMT -5
You are not going to like my answer, but I wouldn't let my kids be friends with them. Or....I would only allow them to hang out at our house. I wouldn't allow them to go to the friends' house at all. Yup that! no play at the kids house at all. would be very good for the little boy if during summer esp you helped force him to go outside and play! My nephew had a rifle at that age BUT he is extremely strictly supervised follows rules very very well is allowed almost no TV and videogames are highly controlled though he has been allowed to play paintball which does involve "shooting" other people--videogame not real live.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 30, 2013 13:51:47 GMT -5
UPDATE: So for the last 3 days we have stuck to kids playing outside or inside our home. Of the three days, the neighbor's boy refused to play outside for 2 days, but did come out one day for 20 minutes. The other two days he enticed DS to play inside his home. He got two new games for Christmas, Call of Duty Ghosts and Assasin Creed. DS refused as we told him he is not allowed. Today, I pushed my kids to go play outside for 30 min at least as the weather is not too bad. They asked him and he came out and acted all weird, asked DS if they can play WWE xBox inside his home and went home sulking when DS told him he is not allowed to play T or M rated video games. I learnt from DS that every time he went over to play in the neighbor's house, after 15 min of playing Minecraft they would switch over to playing Call of Duty, Halo or Battlefield Those are all games rated "M" or "Mature". Its a miracle my sone hasn't learnt any violence. I am so beating myself over not being more alert about this. A big lesson learnt
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milee
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Post by milee on Dec 30, 2013 13:58:43 GMT -5
UPDATE: I am so beating myself over not being more alert about this. A big lesson learnt Don't beat yourself up. You're doing a good job. Now you know and you're doing something about it. Be good to yourself.
BTW, it's hard to know everything that happens, especially at other people's houses. My older son has a good friend whose mother is uber granola. Grows their own food, didn't even have a TV until last year. Very nice family and I like them all. Anyway, a few weeks ago, DH and I were watching a recording of "Breaking Bad" after the kids went to bed and the older son got up to get a glass of water, glanced at the TV and said "oh, this is a great show!" Surprised by that, since we don't let him watch stuff like that I asked where he'd seen the show. He said that last year after that friend got a TV, they'd stay up late watching after the mom went to bed at sleepovers. Ooops.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Dec 30, 2013 14:43:01 GMT -5
You can't protect them forever. The key is that he knows that you disapprove, and it will make him stop and consider why you disapprove.
I've noticed that kids who insist on always calling the shots cycle though friends fairly quickly.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Dec 30, 2013 14:54:25 GMT -5
I guess better late than never.....
I had no idea they allowed the kids to play all M rated games for hours.
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Sum Dum Gai
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Post by Sum Dum Gai on Dec 30, 2013 14:58:29 GMT -5
No it's not. Every study done on the link between violent video games and real life violent behavior finds almost no correlation. Video games don't make people violent. Violent people, if they play video games, tend to gravitate to violent games. That's all it is. Rapists and axe murderers don't play My Little Pony if they play video games, but that doesn't mean every kid that plays Grand Theft Auto is going to beat hookers when he's older.
My daughter is home playing Assassin's Creed right now. Loop and I are both at work, so she's not only playing a violent video game, she's doing so unsupervised. The horrors. She's also a straight A student, an athlete, very responsible, well behaved, and has never been in trouble at school. I wish she'd keep her room and bathroom cleaner, but on the whole she's a great kid.
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on Dec 30, 2013 15:53:12 GMT -5
No it's not. Every study done on the link between violent video games and real life violent behavior finds almost no correlation. Video games don't make people violent. Violent people, if they play video games, tend to gravitate to violent games. That's all it is. Rapists and axe murderers don't play My Little Pony if they play video games, but that doesn't mean every kid that plays Grand Theft Auto is going to beat hookers when he's older. My daughter is home playing Assassin's Creed right now. Loop and I are both at work, so she's not only playing a violent video game, she's doing so unsupervised. The horrors. She's also a straight A student, an athlete, very responsible, well behaved, and has never been in trouble at school. I wish she'd keep her room and bathroom cleaner, but on the whole she's a great kid.
except change "daughter" to "son" and Assassin's Creed to Call of Duty and you have my kid. My kid has watched his dad play video games like Grand Theft Auto since back when he was in preschool. He has zero violent tendencies and is in reality quite a pacifist. He enjoys the games for the challenge and the quality of the graphics. (He does also enjoy Assassin's Creed)
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Malarky
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Post by Malarky on Dec 30, 2013 16:30:27 GMT -5
No it's not. Every study done on the link between violent video games and real life violent behavior finds almost no correlation. Video games don't make people violent. Violent people, if they play video games, tend to gravitate to violent games. That's all it is. Rapists and axe murderers don't play My Little Pony if they play video games, but that doesn't mean every kid that plays Grand Theft Auto is going to beat hookers when he's older. My daughter is home playing Assassin's Creed right now. Loop and I are both at work, so she's not only playing a violent video game, she's doing so unsupervised. The horrors. She's also a straight A student, an athlete, very responsible, well behaved, and has never been in trouble at school. I wish she'd keep her room and bathroom cleaner, but on the whole she's a great kid.
except change "daughter" to "son" and Assassin's Creed to Call of Duty and you have my kid. My kid has watched his dad play video games like Grand Theft Auto since back when he was in preschool. He has zero violent tendencies and is in reality quite a pacifist. He enjoys the games for the challenge and the quality of the graphics. (He does also enjoy Assassin's Creed)
My kids have made it to the ripe old ages of 19 and 16. DS is 19 and a gamer, as well as a 2nd degree black belt. Non violent and doesn't have issues that should keep him confined to our basement.
DS is a cheerleader and yet not a "mean girl", as well as a first degree black belt.
Both have grown up with guns and knowledge of violence in society. Doesn't mean they participate.
Consequences for actions, in real time, in our world. Absolutely.
Clear delineation between reality and fiction. Absolutely.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Dec 30, 2013 16:32:44 GMT -5
I learnt from DS that every time he went over to play in the neighbor's house, after 15 min of playing Minecraft they would switch over to playing Call of Duty, Halo or Battlefield Those are all games rated "M" or "Mature". Its a miracle my sone hasn't learnt any violence. I am so beating myself over not being more alert about this. A big lesson learnt I have a sensitive son. He knows, at age 9, that some Teen/Mature things are not appropriate for him at this point. It's just who he is and how he's wired. I'm assuming, though that you've had the rules about non-violent games for a while? That it just didn't come up over the past few weeks? Or is the rule about the violent games new? I wouldn't beat myself up, but I would use this as a teaching moment for your DS. Was your DS uncomfortable playing the mature games after doing minecraft? Did he just go along because? Did he sense that that playing these games is not your value? My bigger concern would be giving my kids the skills they need to exit a situation that they are uncomfortable in and let them have chances practicing different ways of leaving a situation they aren't into.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Dec 30, 2013 17:31:45 GMT -5
Thank you Sum Dum Gai and sheilaincali for responding to the comment about violent video games. I was going to respond earlier, but knew my statements would come off badly right after that comment. Violent video games and violent TV programming do NOT cause people to become violent. There is some (but not much and it's still disputed) that they can cause people to become desensitized to violence around them, but the truth is, not matter how "realistic" your video game violence, it is nothing compared to the real thing.
For those who encourage calling CPS, I have to ask what for? Parents work, but there is a 21 year old babysitter there, so they are not neglected. There are guns in the house, but that's not against the law. In some states, there are laws against leaving guns and ammo in places where children can access them, but that's not universal, and those laws are only rarely enforced. Plus, that doesn't sound like it's the case. The guns are kept in a display case in the dining room. OP has not seen the case, so she has to rely on a 9y/o's description of it. There's no way he can tell the difference between a curio cabinet and a secure gun display case. For all she knows, the guns are already stored with trigger locks on them. Because, again, a 9y/o with limited exposure to guns is not going to notice those things or think about them.
Also, I did not hear that the boy next door handed the OP's son the gun and said "look what I got" or even held it himself. For all we know, the kid next door walked the OP's son to the gun cabinet and pointed to one saying "that one's mine. I got it for Christmas." If that's the case, than NOTHING has changed. NOTHING. The guns didn't become any more or less secure. The neighbor boy didn't become any more or less likely to use one in anger. (Actually, that's not true. He actually became less likely to use one in a sneaky fashion because it's not taboo. He asked for one, he got one. That means if he wants to shoot it, he likely only has to ask, and he'll be taken somewhere that can be done safely. Which means he can show it off, but doesn't need to try and sneak use it.)
The only thing that changed is that now the OP has something she can use to justify to herself why her kids can no longer play at the house next door. It is very clear from the OP that neither she nor her husband were happy about the situation before, but she couldn't justify to herself (or her kids) setting new rules that said "you can't go over there". Now, there's a gun (or, rather, another gun, kept in the same place as all the other guns have been kept for the year these folks have lived next door), but the neighbor boy gets to call it his, and this she feels is a valid reason for keeping her kids away. But it's not. It's a scapegoat.
I am not judging. I am not saying this is a good situation. I agree that it's probably for the best that swasat doesn't let her kids play in the neighbor's house where she can't see what's going on. But that has NOTHING to do with the gun. Again, this one gun didn't change anything. It has to do with the general environment she perceives over there, the lack of rules (or at least, the lack of enforcement of rules), and the poor attitude of the boy. And that is fine. You don't need a boogeyman. You have enough justification without it.
But for full disclosure, I should also mention I grew up in a house where the guns were kept in a display case, right outside my brother's door (also right outside my parents' door). My brother or I would have had to take a fire ax to the glass to break it. I also have a very distinct memory of the year my brother got a high powered rifle as a Christmas gift. My parents were still married, so he couldn't have been older than 8th grade, and it was likely a few years before that. This was NOT his first rifle. It was the first one he got powerful enough to kill an elephant. My dad had him open it around noon on Christmas Eve so that we had time to go shoot it in a safe manner. (I say we, but I wasn't actually allowed to shoot that rifle, not even lying prone, as it was too powerful for me. My brother was only allowed to shoot it prone. I did get to shoot another rifle that day. Just not the big new shiny one.) I was, at the oldest possible 11, and much more likely 9. And it was not the first time I'd been shooting. That rifle was then stored in the display case next to my father and brother's other rifles. And yes, my brother would occasionally point it out to friends as the really cool Christmas gift he got from our grandparents.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 17:40:31 GMT -5
Lack of rules/supervision combined with guns is not a situation i would feel okay to put my kid in. Even if they were locking their guns in a safe, to me it is not worth the risk. Besides the kid sounds like a horrible friend
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 30, 2013 17:57:27 GMT -5
I grew up with the rifles/shotguns kept in the corner of the kitchen by the door... Amo on the shelf above. Handgun in dad's bottom bedside drawer. We keep the guns on our bedroom, inactive and amo stored seperately, including the kids guns. They aren't locked up. But then my kids were 9+ I think before there was a gun in the house. I always asked other parents before their kids came what their movie/video game cut off was, and encouraged kids to keep pg/e, graduating to pg13/t rating when others were here... Although for son that's pretty much done. He knows I don't like certain M rated content. Personally I don't see why anyone needs to beat up a hooker... So those games don't come in my house, and he doesn't complain and pretty much conforms to my no sexual violence/oppression rules. And he could lecture you for hours on what the literature says regarding video games and violence... i honestly never thought to ask other parents about their gun concerns... Kids don't go in our room, and my kids have never shown any interest in showing off their guns... Although they take the bows out occasionally.
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whoisjohngalt
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Post by whoisjohngalt on Dec 30, 2013 20:10:03 GMT -5
UPDATE: So for the last 3 days we have stuck to kids playing outside or inside our home. Of the three days, the neighbor's boy refused to play outside for 2 days, but did come out one day for 20 minutes. The other two days he enticed DS to play inside his home. He got two new games for Christmas, Call of Duty Ghosts and Assasin Creed. DS refused as we told him he is not allowed. Today, I pushed my kids to go play outside for 30 min at least as the weather is not too bad. They asked him and he came out and acted all weird, asked DS if they can play WWE xBox inside his home and went home sulking when DS told him he is not allowed to play T or M rated video games. I learnt from DS that every time he went over to play in the neighbor's house, after 15 min of playing Minecraft they would switch over to playing Call of Duty, Halo or Battlefield Those are all games rated "M" or "Mature". Its a miracle my sone hasn't learnt any violence. I am so beating myself over not being more alert about this. A big lesson learnt I don't know if this will make you feel better, but here is my "cute" not being more alert story Last week my kids had a play date at OUR house. Long story short, my DH comes home and asks me if I am aware that one of the guest kids is hitting our chandelier with a sword. Ummm, no, I was not aware of that. I was also not aware of the fact that someone got into the baby room and threw a bunch of crayons all over his crib. I was also not aware of the fact that half eaten donuts were left on two couches in the living room. I was not aware of a lot of things, it seemed. According to my husband, having 4 more kids in the house was not the right time for me to sit down and chit chat with their mom. Evidently, I was suppose to be following them around and keep an eye on them. I am pretty sure I learned my lesson. Time will tell
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Dec 30, 2013 20:27:40 GMT -5
Look, you do the best you can and sometimes you F up. That's called being human. It's a bit more stressful when you're a parent, I get that. You found out and you fixed it. That's called being a GOOD parent. Plus, your kids told you what was actually going on. That is called being a GREAT parent. I think they want you to be the bad guy and end this for them. Do it, that's what parents are for. I was on the kitchen phone and my mom was at the sink and I told someone I couldn't do something because my mom wouldn't let me. I never even asked her. When I got off the phone she asked what that was all about and I mumbled something to which she said never mind to. Then later she actually said she could sleep very well at night even if my friends thought she was a bitch on wheels. So to basically always make her the bad guy. I did the same with my kids and both my kids lied like rugs when they wanted to be cool for their friends but not do what their friends wanted them to do.
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swasat
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Post by swasat on Oct 15, 2014 9:15:53 GMT -5
#####UPDATE#######
I know its an old thread, and I don't think many of you remember it Anyhow, there have been developments and I feel I must update here.
So as DH and I had decided at the beginning of the year, we started restricting play time with the neighboring kids. And DS was under strict instructions to only play E rated Xbox games for not more than an hour if he ever played in the neighbor's house. We also started restricted play durations. Over the period of 3 months DS and the boy were barely hanging out together because the boy was super pissed at DS's restrictions on video games.
Fast forward to summer. The boy barely made it through third grade. The neighbor was very worried in May becasue she was called into school by the school counselor. Apparently, the boy had been making sweeping brags to his classmates at school on how he can bring in his gun and shoot anyone who does not listen to him. How he has seen on Call of Duty and Halo ..... There were many other issues too related to behaviour, discipline and poor grades. There was some serious talk going on with the school prinicipal, the schoold district warden and the school counsellor with the parents.
Long story short, the neighbor came around asking my son about what "her" son has been talking about. DS updated him on all that he knew. The final otcome was that the parents got a talking to from the school district warden. They have been specifically told to wean off their son from M and T rated video games. Also told to either take strict care of the guns. AND the most important of all IMHO, to keep a tab on their son. To monitor his activities and to keep him away from anything violent.
So as of 3 months ago, the TVs are out of bedrooms. There is screen time supervision (limited to an hour each day, and that includes video games, he gets to chose tv or video games or both, but limited to 1 hour), most video games are locked up till future use and the guns have been transported to grandma's house. DS and him play outside sometimes and sometimes in either of our houses. The screen time rules and limits stay in place in both houses and they are pushed outside to play as soon as an hour is up.
So I am happy to report there is been good progress. DH and I are also glad (in a sick sort of a way) that our parenting is not without merits
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Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Oct 15, 2014 9:35:44 GMT -5
Thanks for the update.
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cael
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 9:12:36 GMT -5
Posts: 5,745
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Post by cael on Oct 15, 2014 9:54:34 GMT -5
With the violence in video games thing, it definitely isn't black and white. This kid sounds like he probably has issues the violent video games augment, whereas Dark's kids can play them and are fine, well-adjusted and 'normal'. My brother in law (he's 18) never had any restrictions on his video games and has many underlying issues, and now he's a pompous lazy POS who mooches off his mother and expects it's ok he just doesn't work (didn't graduate high school either). He has been physically violent with his mother and girlfriend and is obsessed with shooter games and getting guns. IMO this is partly his parents completely sucking at parenting him, and partly his mental/emotional/personality factors. Honestly, it's sad but I will not be surprised if my BIL ends up in jail sometime for a violent offense.
I'm glad the neighbor kid's parents seem to be listening to the school's advice.
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