My Daughter Turned 13 Yesterday

[Sum Dum Gai]

It's kind of freaking me out.  I don't feel old enough to be the parent of a teenager.

[HoneyBBQ]

Good luck! I think my teenage angst peaked around 13/14.

[Jaguar]

Yeah good luck, my angst was from age 14 to 17.

[sapphire12]

Good luck. 13-17 can be brutal for both of you.

[The Captain]

Just wait until you're a grandparent


At least they'll be out of college before you retire.

[Deleted]

It is tough.  I had "easy" kids, and I remember my daughter running from the bathroom yelling that her hair hated her.

Her best friend also dumped her in favor of a better best friend.

She couldn't get a date to the prom because I taught there!  Actually, she did with a guy with an IQ of about 10, but that was last minute.  No one with any sense would ask her because I taught there.

It will always be your fault so accept it.  And stock up on tissues.

[Jaguar]

And stock up on patience and sanity.

Dark my mom used to say "teenagers you bury them at 13 and dig them up again at 21"

[mmhmm]

My beautiful, intelligent, always obedient DD lost her freaking mind at 13.  Dark, Loopy ... my condolences.

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Yeah, mine turn 12 & 16 in January. 
Sigh. 
You and Loop should invite me over for homemade beer. 

[grits]

Call an exorcist.

[busymom]

Good luck! Wait until the boys start calling.

Need any barbed wire?

[Nazgul Girl]

   Wait until she gets her learners permit.   Then the fun really starts.   Buy more life insurance right now, if you're the parent who'll be riding shotgun. 

[Knee Deep in Water Chloe]

Yeah, the boys are difficult negotiation. 

The permit has been okay. Mine won't actually have met the state requirements to test for hers next month. It's all her own choice, and we're not pushing her one way or the other. 

[Sum Dum Gai]

She currently spends a good chunk of time playing Minecraft and Skyping with a group of people she met online, one of which is a 16 year old boy.  A few weeks back I jumped onto their skype conversation and told them that I spent 6 years in the military, one in Afghanistan and two in Iraq, another 6 working for the Defense Security Service, and over a decade total in military intelligence, so if I had to I could easily make somebody disappear and they needed to keep that in mind when talking to my daughters.

She got mad at me and said I weirded her friends out.

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

LOL, Dark - welcome to the generation of teenage daughters. I remember when my first (real) boyfriend/date came to pick me up in a (gasp!) car - to go on a date. My dad was probably watcing the seconds tick down on his old Timex until I got home again safe and sound.

Your girls are in a much more "progressive" generation, and I can only wish you well and hope you manage to keep your cool (and your sanity). Good luck with that!

You probably only think the young men entering her life have evil thoughts because you did at their age.

[Value Buy]

Dec 23, 2013 20:40:15 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

My beautiful, intelligent, always obedient DD lost her freaking mind at 13.  Dark, Loopy ... my condolences.

That was my thought.

The hormones kick in, and viola!

You have someone else's child living in your house  

[Value Buy]

Dec 24, 2013 1:23:25 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

She currently spends a good chunk of time playing Minecraft and Skyping with a group of people she met online, one of which is a 16 year old boy.  A few weeks back I jumped onto their skype conversation and told them that I spent 6 years in the military, one in Afghanistan and two in Iraq, another 6 working for the Defense Security Service, and over a decade total in military intelligence, so if I had to I could easily make somebody disappear and they needed to keep that in mind when talking to my daughters.

She got mad at me and said I weirded her friends out.

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

I imagine she cleared that up right away, by telling them not to worry.

She said in your new life you own a toy store and are really harmless

[mmhmm]

Dec 24, 2013 8:38:36 GMT -5 Value Buy said:

Dec 23, 2013 20:40:15 GMT -5 mmhmm said:

My beautiful, intelligent, always obedient DD lost her freaking mind at 13.  Dark, Loopy ... my condolences.

That was my thought.

The hormones kick in, and viola!

You have someone else's child living in your house  

LOL!  So true, VB!  Thing is, today she's one of the best people I know, and I'm not saying that because she's my daughter.  She just is - and I'm really glad I didn't tie her to a tree in the forest and leave her there! 

[geenamercile]

Dec 24, 2013 1:23:25 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

She currently spends a good chunk of time playing Minecraft and Skyping with a group of people she met online, one of which is a 16 year old boy.  A few weeks back I jumped onto their skype conversation and told them that I spent 6 years in the military, one in Afghanistan and two in Iraq, another 6 working for the Defense Security Service, and over a decade total in military intelligence, so if I had to I could easily make somebody disappear and they needed to keep that in mind when talking to my daughters.

She got mad at me and said I weirded her friends out.

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

No you need to remember that you raised wise, self confident girls who believe in themselves and their worth.  They can't be pressured into things, and they know how to stand up for themselves.  

Of course that also means that anything they may do that you do not approve of, just might be their idea or at least they were full culpable in it.  

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2013 1:23:25 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

One of my old field tech coworkers hung an unloaded shotgun over his daughter's bed when she became a teenager.  He figured it would be a good warning sign if any guys got in there without meeting him first 

[Regis]

...then she showed them the picture of you as Waldo.  Now none of the boys are scared of you, Dark.

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2013 9:52:52 GMT -5 @tbird said:

If anyone said that to my 16 yo son - I'd likely call the cops. I sure wouldn't let him continue to talk with the kid with the crazy parent.

Chill out - and I really hope you don't think your tirade was cool. These others are kids too, somebody else's kids, actual young people with their own feelings - and deserving of respect and consideration. They aren't frikken obstacles in the video game of your parenting dilemmas.

Lol, also always remember to consider that during the rebellion years, what you worry about and forbid is likely what will be the most attractive 

I don't know if it's because I always helped dad with heavy tree work and we sisters formed "ant teams" to do things like lift and carry 12 foot drywall panels up ladders for ceiling installation or what, but dad was really laid back about us dating.  Guys usually get high fives and stuff if they're talking with girls.  

Mom just told us in that really intense voice that if we were in danger or someone tried to drive drunk with us in the car, or we were drunk and needed to get somewhere, we could always always always count on them if need be.  She also helped girls back in her really strict catholic neighborhood get birth control back in the 60s, so she said if we needed any, she could help.

REAAAAALLLY awkward, and none of us dated in high school anyway for various reasons.  I had a totally unreasonable, illogical crush on one guy who was totally wrong for me in every way except that he was smart and honest.  It was grudgingly nice to know the offer for BC stood though 

[luckyme]

Teenage girls are freakin nuts!  Especially, the middle school girls.  

Around here, they are all obsessed about such morbid things: cutting, suicide and running away.  I think it's the social media websites, they get to reinforce all their craziness.  They all want to be the center of attention, and go out of their way to create drama.     I go through youngest DD13's facebook page regularly and unfollow, unfriend like crazy.  She has so many feeds, I don't think she realizes I even do it.  


Oldest DD18 was into sports, and the social media wasn't so prevalent, so I missed most of this garbage with her.  I am glad I don't have any younger girls, and pray every night I can get this kid to adulthood without any major incidences.

So good luck!  

[Jaguar]

Dec 24, 2013 1:23:25 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

She currently spends a good chunk of time playing Minecraft and Skyping with a group of people she met online, one of which is a 16 year old boy.  A few weeks back I jumped onto their skype conversation and told them that I spent 6 years in the military, one in Afghanistan and two in Iraq, another 6 working for the Defense Security Service, and over a decade total in military intelligence, so if I had to I could easily make somebody disappear and they needed to keep that in mind when talking to my daughters.

She got mad at me and said I weirded her friends out.

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

Dark you can't keep them little girls forever, it don't work that way.

[Sum Dum Gai]

If anyone said that to my 16 yo son - I'd likely call the cops. I sure wouldn't let him continue to talk with the kid with the crazy parent.

Call the cops for what?  I didn't threaten anyone.  Just told my daughters new friends about my background.. slightly embellished.  And I wish his parents had cut off contact, no such luck though.

Chill out - and I really hope you don't think your tirade was cool. These others are kids too, somebody else's kids, actual young people with their own feelings - and deserving of respect and consideration. They aren't frikken obstacles in the video game of your parenting dilemmas.

A 16 year old isn't a kid.  Not really.  He's old enough to work full time, drive, and be charged as an adult if he does something stupid.  He's plenty old enough to have the father of the 11 and 12 year old girl he talks to all day tell him to watch himself.

[Sum Dum Gai]

what has he done that he needs to "watch himself"?

He's hanging out with my very underage daughters, and he's reached the age of maturity, so he needs to watch himself period.

this is potentially a prosecute-able threat.

No it's not.  It has to be targeted and specific to be illegal.

in just 3 short years - your daughter will be 16. I want to hear again how she is a completely adult at that time

I didn't say completely adult, I said not really a kid.  At 16 I lived on my own paid rent, worked, and went to college.  The only 16 year olds that are still kids are because their parents smother them and didn't let them grow up.

[souldoubt]

When I saw this thread before clicking on it I was planning on posting good luck and that I hope you have a shotgun and a map to deserted areas but I see that's been covered.

[The Captain]

Dark - is there even a small possibility that all he is interested in is an online friendship with someone who has similar interests?

Do you know for certain that he know DD is 13?

[Sum Dum Gai]

Coaching 15 girls in a public park with at least two other female adults present at all times is vastly different from talking to a teenage girl on skype for several hours every few days.  If I was doing the latter I'm sure the fathers would have had something to say to me about it.

[Peace Of Mind]

Dec 24, 2013 1:23:25 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

She currently spends a good chunk of time playing Minecraft and Skyping with a group of people she met online, one of which is a 16 year old boy.  A few weeks back I jumped onto their skype conversation and told them that I spent 6 years in the military, one in Afghanistan and two in Iraq, another 6 working for the Defense Security Service, and over a decade total in military intelligence, so if I had to I could easily make somebody disappear and they needed to keep that in mind when talking to my daughters.

She got mad at me and said I weirded her friends out.

The first time she brings home a teenage boy in person instead of online I'm buying a shotgun.

OMG LMAO!!  Did you really do that?  I'm sure she explained to them that you are just worried she'll do what Loop did and hook up with a crazy person and then get knocked up and be stuck with him for life.  Then she'll show them the pictures of said crazy person and all will make sense to them.   

Merry Christmas, sweetie and may you not completely lose your mind until New Year's.