Gifts that are a waste of money.

[sheilaincali]

Thanks- I really do like my folks.   I am closer to my dad than I am to my mom.   I enjoy the actual work that I do and my co-workers so M-F it's not all bad.

[Deleted]

I only use pharmaceutical skin care products (sold only in pharmacies here, not sure where they are sold in the US) because I have extremely allergic skin (and my kids do too, to a lesser extent), so I don't like getting that stuff. If it's relatively gender neutral DH takes it to his office. If it's more feminine, I take it into work and offer it to my colleagues.   

I'm with Nancy, we only gift consumerables to adults (ie DH's cousins and aunt and uncle). (Not to our kids though). We bring a "care package" to DH's two cousins and their families, and his aunt and uncle every time we go (they are in the UK). We usually go once before or after Xmas, and once in the spring. So, A bottle of wine or champagne, some sausage, an assortment of cheese (per family), their favorite cookies, and DH's aunt's favorite soap. We give "real gifts" to the little cousins (kids) for Xmas and birthdays but usually a tasteful toy and an outfit / item of clothing.

I spend my life decluttering, we live in a fairly small house, we don't have a garage or an attic or a big basement (just one basement storage room), and my DH has hoarding tendencies. I'm sorry if it sounds unkind, but frankly I resent it when people give me crap I don't want. I have a very close friend whose taste I loathe who insists on giving a hostess gift every time she comes over. She's also in my book club, so she comes over a lot. I adore her but I hate the stuff she gives me. I often tell her, oh that's so sweet, you should have just gotten a bottle of wine or an outdoor plant or something! And she beams and says, no, if somebody cooks me dinner, they deserve a Real Gift. I have kept some of her items, so as not to hurt her feelings, but some end up at Goodwill. I got a horrific gift at my work gift grab, two oversized coffee cups and saucers in purple, and I got rid of those too. SO much waste!

I also LOVE candles. I love to get them, and love to give them. They are also consumerable, even if you can't eat or drink them ... they burn LOL. 

I agree with the others, there is no right answer. I'd rather get something to eat, even if I personally didn't want to eat it. Just serve it next time you have a bunch of people over, and it's gone LOL. 

They don't really have gift cards here, they only exist for Amazon, or itunes, or your local mall. I think that's a shame. They do have a great thing I've mentioned before, "Smartboxes" (there are other brands too), it's a small "box" at a certain price (there are many different prices), with a list of providers, for an "experience": a spa treatment, or a meal out, or a fancy snack, or a night or weekend away. The "box" looks like a small, thin hardcover book. 

For other presents (not Christmas presents), ie major anniversaries or birthdays, people here tend to contribute to one bigger gift, which I think is a great idea. In our 30 years here we have contributed to matching bicycles, an electric bicycle, garden furniture, a hammock for two, weekends away, ipads, several musical instruments, a painting, a sculpture, a tree, and more. I think that makes a LOT more sense than getting 25+ small gifts for a special occasion. 

[milee]

The idea of going in on group gifts sounds like a good one.  Wish that was common over here.

[Deleted]

Going in on gifts happens around here...

[Deleted]

Funny how chipping in for a bigger gift seems to be a regional thing ... (like taking your shoes off I guess LOL). 

I agree, Milee, it really does make a lot of sense. It's easier for the givers, you just need to write a check or bring cash to the party. It means less "crap" for the recipient, and something meaningful they really want instead. 

ETA: Also, it's always very low-key and politely done. You will NEVER get a request to contribute to a group gift. IF you want to, you ask the person's spouse or closest friend if there is a group gift being organized. You're never required to contribute, you can always give your own gift (or no gift) if you prefer. This said, most people definitely prefer to contribute to the group gift. 

[cronewitch]

Most gifts my mother gave the last few years, I gave some to charity but often kept them a while wondering what to do with it. I would like meat or lotions more than seen on tv merchandise. Last year or the one before she got me Eggies, she knew I made deviled eggs so would want it. One year she got me a big light bulb filled with raw popcorn.

I hope nobody gets me a gift this year, I didn't buy any gifts. I did pick up two huge bags of red and green M&Ms so maybe gift them to the teens or just the plain to share. Their mother likes the green ones and boy used to get mini m&ms for potty training so I know he likes them, he is 17 so he will be trilled to know we remember potty training.

We don't do group gifts maybe two people sharing but if you ask someone to share it is because you can't afford the gift or you both can't find something.

My great aunt had a surprise party for her 90th birthday and the family did a group gift of a new living room chair. She had a tiny apartment and didn't want things to water or dust so one gift was better. Her favorite gifts were small like I gave her a large print bible since she complained she couldn't read hers. I told her large print existed so when I surprised her with one her son had gotten her one. I told her I would take it back but she said she wanted one for the living room and one for the bedroom. She had mobility issues so wouldn't have to carry it from room to room. I got her a grocery store gift card for her 91st birthday and she told me she got green beans. Apartment friends gave her a 3 piece KFC box she loved it she said it was enough food for two days so she didn't have to cook.

[dcmetrocrab]

To echo kilroy, to each their own. The key is to receive gifts as the thought that counts.

I am extremely picky about what I like to receive as gifts, I am an absolute nightmare to buy for. I do not like "bad" surprises let's just say.  Hence, I really drilled it into my head that now I am very happy that someone went through the effort to get me something. Poor DH is however not off the hook of displeasure of "bad" surprises, so he gets to bow out entirely of any gift exchanges. He's learned his lesson. 

Examples of pickiness:
1) I am horrible at spending gift cards, I hoard them, so prefer not to get them.
2) I like practical gifts. You know how a vacuum cleaner or a Sonicare is generally considered unromantic/a horrible gift? THAT is my kind of gift so long as it's something I needed. I'll use it everyday and be reminded of that person versus something that may one day be thrown as out clutter. 
3) If I really want something frivolous, I prefer buying it myself. 
4) I prefer a bucket of KFC to a bouquet of flowers if DH is in the dog house.  Both is better. 
5) I do not like precious jewelry. I asked DH to not "waste money" on an engagement ring. My silver wedding band cost $60 off of Etsy. Costume jewelry, I'm all good. 
6) #5 doesn't mean I'm uber frugal. I spend countless $$$ on things that I DO find value in that others would think foolish. Again, to each their own.