Who had fertility issues?

[swamp]

I did. Polycystic ovarian syndrome, insulin resistance.

Treated with metformin and clomid. Six months of treatments to conceive.

[Wisconsin Beth]

I was told I did.  And DH was told he did. 

10 years and 2 accidents later, my ob/gym said I don't have PCOS and DH got snipped. 

[chen35]

I do. Not sure exactly why. We're just starting the treatment process, so no baby yet!

[financialpeace]

Not sure if this counts. I've had two unexplained miscarriages this year despite being young and healthy. It sure feels like fertility issues to me. Not sure yet if I will ever have a successful pregnancy.

[sheilaincali]

I have PCOS and a tilted uterus.  I don't know what that all means I never really asked.  A doctor pointed that out to me once and asked if I had kids or any trouble conceiving.  I said I had one son and only wanted one so I had been taking birth control for years.  He was surprised that I was able to get pregnant and told me that DS was basically a fluke and that I should consider myself lucky.

I never had any desire to have more kids so I didn't really question the doctor much. 

financialpeace- hugs to you.  It's a totally inadequate thing for me to say but I honestly don't have the right words for you and your struggles? this year.

[lexxy703]

So sorry for your losses financialpeace.

I never wanted kids & took birth control for years so I have no idea if I had fertility issues or not.

[sarcasticgirl]

I have PCOS and insulin resistance... and I take Metformin.


but I don't want a kid! 

[giramomma]

Another PCOSer. I'm non-insulin resistant.

PCOS got worse as I've aged. Two of my kids are clomid kids, and one is a femeara+injectibles+iui.

I'm lucky, though. Two of my kids were conceived on the first round of drugs. It took 4 rounds of clomid for #2, but two of those rounds I was on the wrong dose. And, actually, because of stress I should have never gotten pregnant with #2. That's when my marriage imploded and I found out DH is an addict.

Hugs, to you to, financial peace.

[raeoflyte]

I don't have fertility issues per se, but had to work with a fertility clinic to get pregnant using iui with 3rd party sperm.  We wanted our 2nd be a full genetic sibling to our first and were running low on "specimen" so I used clomid on my 2nd round.  Dh and I had to see a therapist who specialized in fertility issues before the clinic would work with us.  So I have a kind of a looking glass perspective.  

Best of luck to everyone trying! 

[Timberwolf]

I was diagnosed with fertility issues of unknown origin.  We tried low-level measures (everything but invitro) for about 4 or 5 years.  Never did get pregnant but then the marriage went south so was glad I didn't end up a single parent.

[Peace Of Mind]

I do!  My men are pausing. 

[Opti]

So are mine POM. Apparently they haven't stopped yet though.

[shanendoah]

financialpeace - more women than you realize have miscarried when they were young and healthy. Its one of those things we do not talk about in our society. My BFF miscarried at least twice after they were far enough along that she and her DH had started telling people. It was very hard for her to talk about at the time, so I never pried to find out if there were more miscarriages. I can tell you that since then, she has had two healthy pregnancies and has two delightful sons. And there were not fertility issues.

If you need someone to talk to who has been through it, I could put you in contact with her.
Or for a different perspective, I could put you in contact with my Aunt whose been on OB nurse for 20+ years.

[financialpeace]

I do know it's very common, but that doesn't make it any easier to experience. I'm pretty much the healthiest person I know, and I'm the only one who has miscarried (I feel pretty confident that this is true and not that I just haven't been told). It's really hard to see the type of people out and about with huge pregnant bellies. And to hear about drug addicts and teens popping out babies like crazy. Based on the research I've done, I think there may be a problem with me because I have psoriasis (very mild case, so I tend to forget about it. Maybe I can't consider myself healthy.). It seems like it couldn't possibly be related because it's a skin issue, but from what I understand, once you have one autoimmune disease you are likely to have more. My doctor won't do any testing until there have been 3 miscarriages. I'm doing what I can to give the next one the best chance possible. We probably won't pursue fertility treatments, so that makes it that much harder to struggle. If we can't do it by ourselves I probably won't ever be a mom. I don't have many more tries left in me either. It's unbearably hard to go through. I definitely won't be one of the women who has 5+ miscarriages before getting their child. I won't make it that long. I have at least one more try in me, but if it doesn't work out and the tests don't show anything, I will not be trying again. The emotions involved are complicated and they vary from person to person (especially considering the differing views on what is considered life), so it's hard to explain and hard for someone else to understand. I've done okay without a therapist so far, but I've already acknowledged to myself that if it happens again I will need to talk to someone. I have had bad experiences with therapists in the past, so I've been reluctant to go that route. It's just hard to be in this spot of two miscarriages in a row. It's far less common than a single miscarriage before or after a successful pregnancy. Some women go on to have a successful pregnancy after this point and some women just continue to miscarry. It's impossible to know which group you will be in. That unknown is very scary. I rallied and became positive and optimistic about the second pregnancy and it felt like a slap in the face when I lost that one as well. Anyway, this has turned into a book. It's hard to say anything briefly when it comes to my personal experience with miscarriage.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I have had bad experiences with therapists in the past, so I've been reluctant to go that route

PM eternal over on the WIR thread.  I believe she sought out someone who specifically deals with fertility/miscarriage counseling so she'd be seeing someone familar with what she wanted to discuss. 

[Peace Of Mind]

Dec 13, 2013 14:20:37 GMT -5 financialpeace said:

I do know it's very common, but that doesn't make it any easier to experience. I'm pretty much the healthiest person I know, and I'm the only one who has miscarried (I feel pretty confident that this is true and not that I just haven't been told). It's really hard to see the type of people out and about with huge pregnant bellies. And to hear about drug addicts and teens popping out babies like crazy. Based on the research I've done, I think there may be a problem with me because I have psoriasis (very mild case, so I tend to forget about it. Maybe I can't consider myself healthy.). It seems like it couldn't possibly be related because it's a skin issue, but from what I understand, once you have one autoimmune disease you are likely to have more. My doctor won't do any testing until there have been 3 miscarriages. I'm doing what I can to give the next one the best chance possible. We probably won't pursue fertility treatments, so that makes it that much harder to struggle. If we can't do it by ourselves I probably won't ever be a mom. I don't have many more tries left in me either. It's unbearably hard to go through. I definitely won't be one of the women who has 5+ miscarriages before getting their child. I won't make it that long. I have at least one more try in me, but if it doesn't work out and the tests don't show anything, I will not be trying again. The emotions involved are complicated and they vary from person to person (especially considering the differing views on what is considered life), so it's hard to explain and hard for someone else to understand. I've done okay without a therapist so far, but I've already acknowledged to myself that if it happens again I will need to talk to someone. I have had bad experiences with therapists in the past, so I've been reluctant to go that route. It's just hard to be in this spot of two miscarriages in a row. It's far less common than a single miscarriage before or after a successful pregnancy. Some women go on to have a successful pregnancy after this point and some women just continue to miscarry. It's impossible to know which group you will be in. That unknown is very scary. I rallied and became positive and optimistic about the second pregnancy and it felt like a slap in the face when I lost that one as well. Anyway, this has turned into a book. It's hard to say anything briefly when it comes to my personal experience with miscarriage.

Oops! I liked this when I meant to quote you but I'm leaving it any way because I agree with the part about how people who have major health issues, don't eat right, drink or do drugs popping out kids like it's nothing and I've known too many otherwise healthy, intelligent, good people who can't conceive. I don't know if it's because I know more healthy, intelligent people's stories or if having brains makes people less fertile but it seems to be getting more common.     (((Hugs))) and fertile thoughts for you that you get your babies!

[Sum Dum Gai]

Our fertility has caused us issues, but that's a different thread.

[HoneyBBQ]

Dec 13, 2013 12:24:43 GMT -5 financialpeace said:

Not sure if this counts. I've had two unexplained miscarriages this year despite being young and healthy. It sure feels like fertility issues to me. Not sure yet if I will ever have a successful pregnancy.

FP - I was exactly the same (well, early 30's at least)- healthy, young, fit, and granola..... and 2 miscarriage for no apparent reason. My OB did investigate the 2nd MC and the fetus was found to have a genetic anomaly (Trisomy). It only made it slightly (?) better that it was just a genetic fuck up as opposed to my body rejecting being pregnant or something else. 

I will tell you I have been in your shoes and I know how sad, frustrating, and angry it must be to see others get what you cannot.

Try to remember that approximately 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, so if you roll the dice you may end up with 2 (or more) in a row. I tried to remember to think about it from a statistics and scientific standpoint but it was VERY hard. You also said you don't think others have had a MC. I disagree. I told no one other than my sibling, my MIL, and random strangers on the internet about my pregnancies. I never told any colleagues or friends. I just couldn't.

The silver lining, for me:

My H and I did try a third time, and as they say, it was the charm.  I now have a 2 yr old, and I am thankful every day for her. So please try to remember that there are still happy endings.

You can PM me any time you want just to talk or vent or cry or be angry. Also Eternal over on the WIR was very sweet (as were all the ladies over there) to me during that very difficult time in my life. 

[emma1420]

Unexplained unfertility (although I do have PCOS, but I ovulate with fertility drugs).

I've been trying for 3 years.  I've done 12 medicated cycles with a reproductive endocrinologist and what seems like a million tests.   My only options at this point are IVF or adoption.

[financialpeace]

Honey - I remember reading about your fertility issues (I've lurked on the kid thread since msn days. I took notes because I am an over prepaper ).
I remember being so sad for you and so happy when you finally got your child. But it honestly never occurred to me that it might happen to me. It's definitely one of those things you don't fully understand until it happens to you. I hope the 3rd time will be the charm for me as well. 

When I said others haven't had a miscarriage, I meant in my circle of close friends and family (it's a pretty small circle). We were all open with each other and told each other right away when we got a positive test. They know I've miscarried twice, and I'm sure they would have shared if it had happened to them also. I contemplated not telling them when I got pregnant the second time, but I did because I needed their support. My husband felt the need to be strong for me and didn't show any emotion. I needed people to cry with, and my close friends filled that need for me. I have reached out to eternal a couple times this year. I read about her experience on the kid thread also. You both got a happy ending, so hopefully that is a good sign for me.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation Emma. I hope you are able to complete your family soon.

Margarita - Was your husband on board with adoption or did you have to convinve him? My DH is pretty strongly opposed to it, and I do not understand why. I do find the whole idea of adoption very daunting. I wouldn't know where to start to go down that road. And I don't think we could afford it.

[HoneyBBQ]

Thanks, FP. I wish the best to you (and others).

[NastyWoman]

XH and I did cause never determined. Two pregnancies in 16 years resulted in two sons, luckily only 4 years apart. Not much available in help at the time since the first "test tube baby" was born only weeks after DS1.

FP don't despair about the link with psoriasis. My mom had it too, more of a medium level, and I am the third of seven kids. Mom passed it on to sis3, who has two healthy sons both conceived on their (sis and BIL) first try!

[Nazgul Girl]

I had two miscarriages and it was horrible for me. I still choke up about them 28 and 35 years later, but I've learned to accept that they happened. I didn't have any identified disease. However, I have since read tha women who miscarry early in their pregnancies may have a hormone imbalance. I was very lucky to carry DD all of the way thru the pregnancy. I almost miscarried or would have had a child with cerebral palsy when I went into labor at 5.5 months. Luckily, they gave me Lomotil, and that stopped my contractions.

I am sorry for the miscarriages that you all have had.

[cronewitch]

I did, never got a baby even after fertility drugs. Now menopause so guess no longer a problem.

[Deleted]

We do...

Me: low sperm count and mobility

My wife: still trying to figure it out. She was ok until we seriously started trying to conceive and it is like all hell broke loose.

She basically had her period or at least been bleeding for the past 6 months. At first we thought it was a miscarriage but test result said it wasn't, been to the OB/GYN twice so far and ran some tests/blood tests, etc.

We are scheduled back for another visit on the 24th and hopefully they will figure out what is wrong. She hates having her period when it is just 5 days but now it has been on going for 6 months so she has been miserable.

*Fingers crossed for the 24th*

[Deleted]

I did. I had a tubal pregnancy and lost that tube. Apparently the other tube was scared and wouldn't allow the egg to travel to the uterus. I was a prime candidate for IVF but I wouldn't have a baby with my ex-husband. Raising him on my own was enough. I finally developed fibroids and the whole thing was taken out. I foster now and enjoy it very much.

[Jaguar]

Crossing my fingers and toes for everyone.

[teen persuasion]

Dec 13, 2013 14:44:29 GMT -5 Sum Dum Gai said:

Our fertility has caused us issues, but that's a different thread.

 Nah, it's just the other end of the fertility spectrum.

I'm at that other end of the spectrum; we had 5 kids before finally closing that door.  Actually, I've been pregnant 7 times - I've had 2 miscarriages in there (first one and fifth).  I'm pretty open about talking about them, if the topic comes up, but it is a sensitive thing for some people, so I haven't told many. 

My sister just told me she miscarried this summer; she's got 2 boys already.  One of my mom's sisters has 7 kids but ultimately had 12 pregnancies.  My roommate in the hospital (when I had DD1) had finally given birth to a live baby after 5 consecutive miscarriages.  Miscarriages are more common than it appears, and don't always imply fertility problems or the inability to ever have children - it is just that not everyone announces it.

[travelnut11]

Financialpeace: I'm annoyed at your doctor for making you have three miscarriages before doing any tests.  That's ridiculous.  A very common cause of early miscarriage is progesterone deficiency.  I had a friend who had multiple miscarriages and all she needed was a progesterone suppository in the first 3 months until the placenta kicked in and she was good.  So no massive interventions/fertility treatments or anything like that.  Just a slight hormonal imbalance.  I hope everything works out for you.

In another story of babies that may or may not be useful.  My DF's mother had her first two pregnancies end as nearly full-term stillborn babies when she was in her mid-20s.  She went on to have 5 healthy kids over the next 15 years (my DF being the last when she was 40) and no more miscarriages or stillbirths.  Bodies are crazy...you just never know.

[cronewitch]

I had a miscarriage at 18 in 1967. I don't talk about it because nobody seems to think it is like losing a living baby. I think about my baby it would be almost 46 now. I don't dwell on it but I think about it some.