Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 13:48:25 GMT -5
Call it a prenup without the marriage... Is it possible? Advisable?
Say a retired person has a romantic friend who is a few years from retirement.
Retired peron would like if non retired love interest would be free to travel and spend more time.
Could they structure an agreement including annual asset transfers and clauses for early termination, either to exchange for a marriage agreement, or dissolution with satisfactory pay out, to cover those years and what the other party would lose in terms of taking early retirement?
Does that make sense? Have you ever heard of anything like that?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2013 13:49:16 GMT -5
I think it's technically prostitution............
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 13:50:47 GMT -5
Swamp. I'm trying to be proactive here. Is that really how it reads?
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2013 13:53:27 GMT -5
Swamp. I'm trying to be proactive here. Is that really how it reads? Yes. I will provide you with "companionship" in exchange for assets. |
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 13:57:11 GMT -5
Dad is telling me he has to marry #6 ( met online in January, last divorce final less than 6 months ago) because he can't ask her to quit her job to be a girlfriend...
Im trying to find a way in which he could get what he wants without getting married. I dont want to inadvertently call her a prostitute though...
Wouldn't a prenup work similarly?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:00:23 GMT -5
You mean like Sheldon and Amy on The Big Bang Theory?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:02:24 GMT -5
Swamp. I'm trying to be proactive here. Is that really how it reads? Yes. I will provide you with "companionship" in exchange for assets. But that's how the marriage contract is being used here too. |
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2013 14:05:17 GMT -5
Yes. I will provide you with "companionship" in exchange for assets. But that's how the marriage contract is being used here too. There's a little more to marriage, like inheritance rights, duty to support, social security beneifts, the right to make decisions for a spouse if they can't do it, the ability to hold property as tenants by the entirety which does not allow for a partition of the property, right of election on an estate, etc. You don't get that as a couple. |
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Oct 4, 2013 14:05:18 GMT -5
I'm guessing it would be hopeless to tell your dad he is moving way too fast and needs to let the girlfriend keep her job and travel on the weekends.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:08:06 GMT -5
is it a problem if he marries her?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:09:42 GMT -5
Maybe I'm just being stupid. I just am floored he is doing this again... And so soon.
Would you, if you were a mature woman, grown kids, good job, four years from retirement, agree to marry a man you met online less than a year ago and quit your job?
Former... Based on our phone conversation this morning... Yes, hopeless.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:11:06 GMT -5
is it a problem if he marries her? Historically speaking? ... It's more likely to develop into one than not. My father loves to be in love. He hasn't had much luck with being married. |
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Oct 4, 2013 14:11:08 GMT -5
Would you, if you were a mature woman, grown kids, good job, four years from retirement, agree to marry a man you met online less than a year ago and quit your job? If he was loaded, I didn't have to sign a prenup, and all the assets were made joint, yes I would. But the "divorced 5 times previously" would make me run away screaming. |
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 4, 2013 14:11:57 GMT -5
Hire her as a full time live in housekeeper on salary with an employment contract. He would need to pay her SS and she needs to pay SS and taxes on the income. It seems that is what he wants to buy her time and if she worked she would be paying SS and taxes. He wouldn't need to pay her a full salary it replaces if he gives her room and board as part of her income but may need to pay the taxes on that too.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:18:16 GMT -5
He is loaded. There would be a prenup.
This really isn't an inheritance thing. I don't care if I ever get another penny from my father. But I'd hate to see him in the future reduced to financial insecurity because of more rash acts.
Not o mention the emotional toll it invariably takes.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:19:26 GMT -5
Not o mention the emotional toll it invariably takes. He seems to be able to handle the toll ok. Although it could be the 6th time that really gets him depressed. |
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Oct 4, 2013 14:25:06 GMT -5
oped - I don't know if it helps you any, but my mom was wife #6 to my step-dad. And I'm pretty certain they were dating before there was a divorce (or even separation) from wife #5. Their marriage lasted 13.5 years (until my step-dad's death) and improved his relationship with both of his daughters, and for a short time, his son. (Didn't last with the son, but that was on him. My mom is still close with both of his daughters.)
At the same time, no way would my mom have left her job 4 years before retirement in order to travel around with some guy, even some guy she was in a serious relationship with.
Given that they are both older adults with grown children, I would highly suggest to your father that they sign a pre-nup. He can sell it as protecting both sets of kids, making sure her's inherit her assets and his kids get his. See how the reaction goes to that before putting forward the idea of an agreement without a marriage.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:31:18 GMT -5
He did say there would be a prenup.
I guess I should just accept it then. That he can use that to protect his assets, and just not worry about another marriage so soon.
Is it wrong that while I like her, her agreeing to such a hasty marriage makes me think a little more critically of her motives and judgement...?
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saveinla
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Post by saveinla on Oct 4, 2013 14:33:45 GMT -5
He did say there would be a prenup. I guess I should just accept it then. That he can use that to protect his assets, and just not worry about another marriage so soon. Is it wrong that while I like her, her agreeing to such a hasty marriage makes me think a little more critically of her motives and judgement...? I would probably do the same. It's just human nature and he is after all, your dad. |
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mollyanna58
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Post by mollyanna58 on Oct 4, 2013 14:45:05 GMT -5
No, I think you are correct in worrying about both her motives and judgement. With 5 marriages already behind him, most sensible women would run the other way.
I'm guessing she's in her early 60s. How old is your father?
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 14:55:24 GMT -5
He is 58. He had me young. She is similar age. He said anyway... I didn't ask. She started work young, no college, but smart, worked her way up...
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Oct 4, 2013 15:23:13 GMT -5
He did say there would be a prenup. I guess I should just accept it then. That he can use that to protect his assets, and just not worry about another marriage so soon. Is it wrong that while I like her, her agreeing to such a hasty marriage makes me think a little more critically of her motives and judgement...?
We have to remember that people are more complicated than easy to understand. I see nothing wrong with being wary, but if you like her, give her a chance, give them a chance. They may surprise you. |
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garion2003
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Post by garion2003 on Oct 4, 2013 15:24:06 GMT -5
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Oct 4, 2013 16:02:26 GMT -5
I think he's done this enough times to know what he's doing by now as far as protecting his assets or he'd not still be loaded. Maybe he likes the ups and downs of marriage and divorce and that's the only excitement he has these days. I don't get it but he's a grown man so I'd stay out of it and just wish him the best. That's all you really can do without pissing one of them off.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 16:25:27 GMT -5
The loaded came after he was already legally separated from the last one.
He has not always left marriages financially secure.
He does have good advisors... If he listens to them.
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 4, 2013 16:45:15 GMT -5
Maybe I'm just being stupid. I just am floored he is doing this again... And so soon. Would you, if you were a mature woman, grown kids, good job, four years from retirement, agree to marry a man you met online less than a year ago and quit your job?
Former... Based on our phone conversation this morning... Yes, hopeless. Not just no but hell to the no! I'm only dumb enough to do this marriage thing once.  AMEN. The only thing I want to do jointly with anyone is smoke!!! I didn't even really want to date anyone who had kids. I can't comprehend hooking up with someone with so much baggage that - hell I don't even know what to post  Now I will add that I have been divorced for 31 yrs so I guess that about sums it up for me... |
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NoNamePerson
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Post by NoNamePerson on Oct 4, 2013 16:46:58 GMT -5
He does have good advisors...
Exactly who are these advisors?
And Op I didn't mean to throw off on your dad just my take as a women in these circumstances...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 4, 2013 20:14:54 GMT -5
He has good lawyers and financial advisors.
No prob at all! I'm feeling the same thing.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 5, 2013 2:45:23 GMT -5
PRE-NUP!!!
Like someone else said: I am only stupid enough to do this marriage thing once. If my wife and I ever divorce, I am pulling a crone witch and will just have a roommate/friend or just date.
My mom is on husband #2 and dad is on wife #4 or #5 (don't remember, he has 7 kids that he knows off by 5 different women) so I am certain that if this one I am in takes a turn for the worse I ain't going back for another taste.
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cronewitch
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Post by cronewitch on Oct 5, 2013 3:03:31 GMT -5
PRE-NUP!!! Like someone else said: I am only stupid enough to do this marriage thing once. If my wife and I ever divorce, I am pulling a crone witch and will just have a roommate/friend or just date. My mom is on husband #2 and dad is on wife #4 or #5 (don't remember, he has 7 kids that he knows off by 5 different women) so I am certain that if this one I am in takes a turn for the worse I ain't going back for another taste. I got my own thing. Pulling a Crone Witch.  |
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