HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 6, 2013 13:57:16 GMT -5
Ooh, I thought of another one... potentially flame worthy: exotic pets.
I just don't get it. They smell, they aren't usually cuddly, they cost a ton of $$.... I don't understand why anyone would want one.
I have 3 dogs though, and I'm sure plenty of people don't 'get' that, either!
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 6, 2013 13:58:00 GMT -5
but I do have to really remember where I park as I've come trotting out of the grocery store many times looking like I'm on a mission but really I'm frantically searching for my truck
Me too. I drive DH crazy because I park in no man's land. It's so I can find my car again. Nobody else parks that far out so I can see my car as I exit. LOL..... At every place I've been employed, even when you park in BFE, by the end of the day all spaces are filled and you're still looking for your car! I can't begin to count the number of times I've lost my car at work. I've even gone so far as to go to the wrong parking lot! I finally realized that I needed to park in the same place every single day, regardless of where I needed to go.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Sept 6, 2013 13:59:25 GMT -5
but I do have to really remember where I park as I've come trotting out of the grocery store many times looking like I'm on a mission but really I'm frantically searching for my truck
Me too. I drive DH crazy because I park in no man's land. It's so I can find my car again. Nobody else parks that far out so I can see my car as I exit. I often forget where I park at the airport . Between business and personal I fly at least 6 times a year. I have started writing down where I am located as soon as I park because otherwise figuring out where my car is located s a total bitch when I return.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on Sept 6, 2013 14:00:22 GMT -5
I take a picture of the area my car is in.
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Sept 6, 2013 14:03:33 GMT -5
Intellectually, I can understand what brings people to those thoughts. C has talked to me about the time in his life when he was burning and scarring himself. He was in such a down cycle that he "felt nothing" and that hurting himself was a way to feel "something" to remind him he was still a live. Intellectually, I understand. On a gut, emotional level, though. I don't. I can't imagine it. Even when I was depressed (and I spent roughly a year with mild depression), my mind never went there. It's just not how I am wired. As I say, I'm glad I don't understand it, though I wish I had a better understanding to support C better (though his down cycles are no longer regular, long lasting, or even very far down). I am also aware, though, that one of the reasons he picked me over the the gf who did understand was that I didn't. I am a steadying and uplifting presence in his life, whereas she was the person he could spiral down with. He was able to make a conscious decision about which way he wanted his life to go.
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amishgal
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Post by amishgal on Sept 6, 2013 14:03:35 GMT -5
I don't get directions either, and I can't estimate distances at all. Someone will ask me how far away something is and I can't tell you if it's one or ten miles down the road. I need landmarks.
I don't get shopping as a sport either, if I want to chat with my friends we'll go to happy hour, shopping is going online and voila, stuff shows up at my house.
Another thing I don't get is adults who have to make a huge deal about their birthday every year, not just on milestone years. I'm like Sheldon on Big Bang, I don't want people buying me gifts because that puts me in the awkward state of having to reciprocate. Both MIL and my sister think the world should revolve around them for their entire birth month.
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amishgal
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Post by amishgal on Sept 6, 2013 14:04:19 GMT -5
I take a picture of the area my car is in. Ha, we just did that at Disney on Saturday, Zurg 110.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 6, 2013 14:04:32 GMT -5
, I thought of another one... potentially flame worthy: exotic pets
I agree. I can't stand that Fatal Attraction show on Animal Planet. WHY is it such a surprise when your tiger tries to eat your face off? It's an f-ing tiger!
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Sept 6, 2013 14:09:15 GMT -5
Ooh, I thought of another one... potentially flame worthy: exotic pets.I just don't get it. They smell, they aren't usually cuddly, they cost a ton of $$.... I don't understand why anyone would want one. No flames here. I don't get this one either. DH and I love animals and support [give money and volunteer] two private animal sanctuaries in our area. One of them specializes in rescuing exotic "pets." Many get "turned in" by owners who didn't understand what they were getting into - mostly the need for highly specialized (and expensive!) environmental controls for exotic birds, reptiles and other critters who are thousands of miles away from their native habitats and would die shortly if exposed to ours because it is fundamentally unsuitable for them. Many others are simply "turned loose" by owners (don't even get me started on this one!!!!!!!!!).
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Sept 6, 2013 14:11:04 GMT -5
I take a picture of the area my car is in. Great idea! Geez, why have I not thought of this? Leave it to the lawyer to think about taking pictures for documentation
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shanendoah
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Post by shanendoah on Sept 6, 2013 14:12:58 GMT -5
I love hockey, football and roller derby. I do not get baseball. Nor do I get bull/bronc riding. Even with a cup, that has got to hurt.
Exotic pets- with the exception of fish (which I see as a meditation/relaxation aid) I don't actually get having a pet you can't hold or cuddle or let out of a cage/off a chain. People who have bears, tigers, etc as pets make no sense to me. That said, if I lived in the south and had enough property, I would totally have a manatee rehab center. Those things amaze me, but I wouldn't want to tame them or hold them by force.
I kind of make a big deal of my birthday each year, because for me, it's not actually about my birthday. My birthday is 4 days before Christmas. We have a pretty tight knit group of friends up here, but we all tend to spend Christmas with blood relations. So my birthday dinner is the night we all get together at one of our favorite restaurants to hang out right before we all go separate ways for the holidays
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Sept 6, 2013 14:16:12 GMT -5
Ooh, I thought of another one... potentially flame worthy: exotic pets.I just don't get it. They smell, they aren't usually cuddly, they cost a ton of $$.... I don't understand why anyone would want one. No flames here. I don't get this one either. DH and I love animals and support [give money and volunteer] two private animal sanctuaries in our area. One of them specializes in rescuing exotic "pets." Many get "turned in" by owners who didn't understand what they were getting into - mostly the need for highly specialized (and expensive!) environmental controls for exotic birds, reptiles and other critters who are thousands of miles away from their native habitats and would die shortly if exposed to ours because it is fundamentally unsuitable for them. Many others are simply "turned loose" by owners (don't even get me started on this one!!!!!!!!!). Our local zoo rescues a lot of exotic pets. There are two tigers and three wolves who have been rescued from dumb asses who had no idea how to care for them. One of the wolves is absolutely gorgeous but has only three legs because of an infection that was never treated by the owner
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on Sept 6, 2013 14:18:35 GMT -5
I don't get war. I don't understand why we glamorize (video games) and patriotized something that is unspeakably horrifying. It damaged my WWII father for life with a case of PTSD and an early death (stress-related heart attack). Why do we kill people who have killed people to show the world that killing people is wrong? Here's how I 'get' war - for a handful of people it's about Power for everyone else involved I'm guestimating it's probably about "honor" or "tradition" or "meting out justice/revenge" or maybe as simple as "doing what you're told". I'm guessing that Syria, by using chemical weapons, has CHEATED!!! and is no longer playing by the Rules. This has riled up everyone watching the conflict. If they had continued playing by the 'rules' using acceptable methods for meting out death to their citizens they would have been able to continue their war in peace. Nobody would have really cared... well, there'd be alot of hand wringing and "Tsk Tsking". ::The above is IRONY with a dash of SARCASM with a few fun twists of language please take it as such - I generally do not condone killing people as a solution to a problem. ::
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 6, 2013 14:20:57 GMT -5
Intellectually, I can understand what brings people to those thoughts. C has talked to me about the time in his life when he was burning and scarring himself. He was in such a down cycle that he "felt nothing" and that hurting himself was a way to feel "something" to remind him he was still a live. Intellectually, I understand. On a gut, emotional level, though. I don't. I can't imagine it. Even when I was depressed (and I spent roughly a year with mild depression), my mind never went there. It's just not how I am wired.
I used to self-injure from childhood to my early 30's. My DH doesn't understand it even though intellectually he gets it. (Because) My DH is a recovering addict. I completely understand why he self-medicated. What I will never understand is what he used to get high. I mean, I understand why he self medicated and all that. But I don't understand why he didn't pick something more "traditional." He's five years into recovery, and I'm still like "Seriously?"
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 14:22:38 GMT -5
Intellectually, I can understand what brings people to those thoughts. C has talked to me about the time in his life when he was burning and scarring himself. He was in such a down cycle that he "felt nothing" and that hurting himself was a way to feel "something" to remind him he was still a live. Intellectually, I understand. On a gut, emotional level, though. I don't. I can't imagine it. Even when I was depressed (and I spent roughly a year with mild depression), my mind never went there. It's just not how I am wired.
I used to self-injure from childhood to my early 30's. My DH doesn't understand it even though intellectually he gets it. (Because) My DH is a recovering addict. I completely understand why he self-medicated. What I will never understand is what he used to get high. I mean, I understand why he self medicated and all that. But I don't understand why he didn't pick something more "traditional." He's five years into recovery, and I'm still like "Seriously?" what did he use?
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Sept 6, 2013 14:25:06 GMT -5
I used to self-injure from childhood to my early 30's. My DH doesn't understand it even though intellectually he gets it. (Because) My DH is a recovering addict. I completely understand why he self-medicated. What I will never understand is what he used to get high. I mean, I understand why he self medicated and all that. But I don't understand why he didn't pick something more "traditional." He's five years into recovery, and I'm still like "Seriously?" what did he use? I'm guessing buttercream. Sorry! I couldn't resist. I don't get the pain thing like cutting either. I hate pain of any kind. I also don't get anorexia and bulemia. But I also hate throwing up and I am also a bitch when hungry and love food.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Sept 6, 2013 14:26:46 GMT -5
If I had tons of money and land I would have otters. They would have a huge play area and I would hire someone who knew how to keep everything clean. I would have a specialist when needed come and treat them for any infections, etc. I would NOT try to interact or play with them, but just sit and watch them play and swim for several hours each day. Oh, to dream..
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kittensaver
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Post by kittensaver on Sept 6, 2013 14:29:23 GMT -5
: I am also a bitch when hungry :
=======================
LOL! In my world we call this "hangry"
[hungry + angry = hangry, a common phenomenon with cranky children and husbands]
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kittensaver
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We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
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Post by kittensaver on Sept 6, 2013 14:30:27 GMT -5
If I had tons of money and land I would have otters. They would have a huge play area and I would hire someone who knew how to keep everything clean. I would have a specialist when needed come and treat them for any infections, etc. I would NOT try to interact or play with them, but just sit and watch them play and swim for several hours each day. Oh, to dream.. I would do this with big cats. I agree! . . . . oh to dream
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 14:31:15 GMT -5
Small talk. Knowing that it's one of those "nonnegotiable social conventions" and that it's something most people bond over, I work hard at small talk, but I do it because I know other people expect it not because I enjoy it or have any clue why other people like it or do it. Generally, if I ask about someone's life, children, etc., it's because I care about them and want to know. It's tough for me to muster that kind of interest for the people that I don't really know or care about (similar to the celebrity thing, it's not that I dislike them, it's just a neutral kind of apathy.) So it's a bit of a struggle to chit chat and I know that makes me appear antisocial or even hostile. I'm not, I'm just not good at and don't understand small talk. I must be the opposite of you in this regard because I totally don't get people that don't "small talk". I get if it’s 2 people on an elevator and one doesn't want to chit-chat, but people that you know fairly well that don’t ask questions about anything is very strange to me. I just don’t know how you can really be friends with people when you don’t know stuff about their world and the only way you get there is by asking questions. But I think that people that don’t like small talk kinda miss the point of small talk. It’s because that topic is necessarily important, but it’s more because it acts as a bridge to other topics where you might have more of a connection. My wife will joke with me that I interrogate people when I meet them because I ask questions about where they grew up, what they do, how long they lived there, what college they went to, where they grew up, what their parents do, how many siblings, where do they live. I don’t ask that rapid fire, but I usually have a fairly good idea of the profile of someone after talking with them for a while. But I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into more substantive conversations with people as a result of all of the initial questions. My wife’s friends think that I know a lot of people because usually I’m finding out that, someone that we just met and myself have a mutual friend. But in reality, it’s just because I’m asking questions.
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Sept 6, 2013 14:55:19 GMT -5
I don't get sports either. But the really incomprehensible thing to me is how utterly intolerant sports nuts are to people who have different interests.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 6, 2013 14:57:12 GMT -5
He's a recovering sex addict: p.o.r.n and compulsive spanking his monkey. I understand why he ended up the way he did. He felt the need to self medicate. His grandfather was an alcoholic so he knew to stay away from drinking. (Still does, actually). Thinks drugs are stupid. So that pretty much leaves you with all the softer addictions..gambling, shopping, sex, food, etc. (That's also why I self injured. Knew drinking and drugs were wrong. Didn't have access to gambling. There was lots of unhealthy emotional eating in my family and I didn't want to go that route. So, self-injury it was.) Even if if someone walked up to me today and said "For the right person porn can be addictive. And it can lead to much worse behavior." I sometimes still would think they were freaking nuts or a little to into their religion for my tastes.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 6, 2013 14:57:36 GMT -5
I find that most people (extroverts, at least) have no problem telling me WAY more than I ever needed/wanted to know, without me ever having to ask a single question.
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drivingaround
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Post by drivingaround on Sept 6, 2013 15:00:42 GMT -5
I also don't get suicidal thoughts and self harm. I am torn between being glad I don't get them/have never experienced them and wishing sometimes that I understood C's past a bit better. (To the best of my knowledge, he has not had suicidal or self harm thoughts since we started dating seriously. But I know that the appeal of one of his former GFs was that she had those same issues, and "got" him in a way I never will.) On this, even the people going through the suicidal thoughts may not "get" it either. I've dealt with it and after wondered WTH happened that suicide seemed like the best option. Even being deep in the experience I don't get why the brain reacts this way and how the occurrences are determined (ie, not every depressive episode or person has a suicidal thought component). It is confusing for the person going through it too. I don't get fashion, my wife has way more clothes than I can count yet I have enough to last one wash cycle. I don't get reality/celebrity TV... who needs to listen to all that drama? Isn't it stressful? I don't get people who willingly add pets to their family then ignore them.
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milee
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Post by milee on Sept 6, 2013 15:01:18 GMT -5
But I think that people that don’t like small talk kinda miss the point of small talk. It’s because that topic is necessarily important, but it’s more because it acts as a bridge to other topics where you might have more of a connection. My wife will joke with me that I interrogate people when I meet them because I ask questions about where they grew up, what they do, how long they lived there, what college they went to, where they grew up, what their parents do, how many siblings, where do they live. I don’t ask that rapid fire, but I usually have a fairly good idea of the profile of someone after talking with them for a while. The part about missing the point about small talk is probably true. Unfortunately for those of us who are missing the point, we also probably misinterpret the questions. It takes me a while before I know and am interested enough in someone to want to ask those questions and if someone is asking them of me, often wonder about their motives. Maybe there are also some privacy or boundary issues there, but when a person who I've just met or only interact with casually asks many detailed questions, I can start to feel a little defensive. It seems too personal and it's not comfortable for me. I don't want to know the name of your dog or see pictures of your kids and unless I am a little more comfy with you don't really want to tell you about my dog or kids, either.
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 6, 2013 15:01:30 GMT -5
I don't get the pain thing like cutting either. I never felt pain in the moment, only release.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 15:01:43 GMT -5
He's a recovering sex addict: p.o.r.n and compulsive spanking his monkey. I understand why he ended up the way he did. He felt the need to self medicate. His grandfather was an alcoholic so he knew to stay away from drinking. (Still does, actually). Thinks drugs are stupid. So that pretty much leaves you with all the softer addictions..gambling, shopping, sex, food, etc. (That's also why I self injured. Knew drinking and drugs were wrong. Didn't have access to gambling. There was lots of unhealthy emotional eating in my family and I didn't want to go that route. So, self-injury it was.) Even if if someone walked up to me today and said "For the right person porn can be addictive. And it can lead to much worse behavior." I sometimes still would think they were freaking nuts or a little to into their religion for my tastes. That's wild. Did he have a sore/raw monkey?
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on Sept 6, 2013 15:07:54 GMT -5
That's wild. Did he have a sore/raw monkey? Um, no not wild. He nearly broke our marriage apart. And, yes, he had a sore monkey on a rare occassion. My biggest clue is that we didn't have any emotional intimacy. And, our sex life was down to nothing. It also wasn't like he was doing it 20 hours a day. It was more that he had a ritual for when he did it. Maybe he spent a half hour or so acting out. It's nasty stuff though. The normal progression when pixels aren't enough is to use sex with other humans to get high. Sometimes it's cheating. When that's not enough, then it can progress to sex in more dangerous situations, like hookers. The end of the progression is having same sex encounters. You do hear of straight men having sex with other men because that's the only thing that gets them high anymore.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Sept 6, 2013 15:12:41 GMT -5
I don't get the pain thing like cutting either. I never felt pain in the moment, only release. But I don't get how that works. I totally get your DH's addiction. I'm hedonistic and love pleasure. Being touched, delicious foods, the warmth and wonderful feeling while drinking a nice glass of wine or whatever... I don't see how cutting is a release and not painful. No judgement at all. I just don't see how that works. I also don't get S&M and how that feels good.
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midjd
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Post by midjd on Sept 6, 2013 15:17:24 GMT -5
IME, the physical pain was always less than whatever mental/emotional pain I was going through at the time - the physical pain was more of a distraction.
You know how after a good hard cry, you feel exhausted, but sort of cleansed? It's kind of the same thing.
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