milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Sept 6, 2013 9:32:28 GMT -5
Most of us have at least one subject which makes us feel like an oddball. Something that everybody else on the planet seems to intuitively understand and agree on yet we just... don't get.
Anybody care to share what you just don't "get"?
I'll start. Embarrassing but true:
Fashion. There are some basics that I can grasp, but about 90% of it is just plain incomprehensible to me. There don't seem to be any rules (which I would willingly learn like an advanced math theorem) and some of the things that are supposed to be fashionable are just plain ugly IMHO. The WSJ does coverage of fashion week and other haute couture stuff and it is baffling to me. I probably wear some stuff that baffles others, though, so that's probably fair.
Being curious about celebrities. Why do people care what a celebrity thinks about Syria? (There are a few exceptions - celebrities who are intelligent and involved.) Why do people care what a celebrity's baby looks like? Why do people care what store a celebrity was seen in? It's not that I dislike the celebrities, I just don't care and am puzzled why other people do.
Small talk. Knowing that it's one of those "nonnegotiable social conventions" and that it's something most people bond over, I work hard at small talk, but I do it because I know other people expect it not because I enjoy it or have any clue why other people like it or do it. Generally, if I ask about someone's life, children, etc., it's because I care about them and want to know. It's tough for me to muster that kind of interest for the people that I don't really know or care about (similar to the celebrity thing, it's not that I dislike them, it's just a neutral kind of apathy.) So it's a bit of a struggle to chit chat and I know that makes me appear antisocial or even hostile. I'm not, I'm just not good at and don't understand small talk.
So fashion, interest in celebrities and small talk are all things that make me feel like an alien set in an incomprehensible land. What makes you feel alien?
|
|
Formerly SK
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 27, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
Posts: 3,255
|
Post by Formerly SK on Sept 6, 2013 9:39:11 GMT -5
I agree with you on small talk (I'm an introvert and hate it). This week I'm volunteering at the school during the Kindergarter's lunch helping the little guys open their milks etc and the lunch ladies/other volunteers all stand around chatting about nails/haircuts/TV shows. It all seems so brainless to me. OTOH, I suspect I need to join in if I ever want to get a job at the school. Just an aside: the poor Kindergartners! They all look so wide-eyed and overwhelmed. One little guy spent the whole lunch/recess period crying he missed his mom. I just wanted to hug him.
|
|
Gardening Grandma
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 13:39:46 GMT -5
Posts: 17,962
|
Post by Gardening Grandma on Sept 6, 2013 9:44:30 GMT -5
I don't get the thing about taking a photo of oneself in front of the mirror and posting it on Facebook. And not smiling.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 6, 2013 9:44:38 GMT -5
No kidding about what celebrities think. I think they ought to shut their pie holes and be grateful people are stupid enough to watch their movies for which they get paid so much money. They seem to think brains equals the dollars they earn.
|
|
zibazinski
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 24, 2010 16:12:50 GMT -5
Posts: 47,910
|
Post by zibazinski on Sept 6, 2013 9:46:15 GMT -5
I'm starting to not get Facebook. Seriously, your first wife who looked like a two bit whore offed herself in a bloody stand off and now you're posting pictures of yourself with another bloody two bit whore? You've learned nothing??
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 6, 2013 9:53:45 GMT -5
I don't get modern/abstract art. I'll be listening to people make smart sounding comments about it and I'll be thinking to myself "My 3 year old could have painted this".
I don't get the hating on body thing other women do. I'd be sitting there listening to friends talk about how fat they are, they hate their hair, hate this, hate that. I don't get bonding over bashing yourself. There are millions of other things to talk about why are you spending 2 hours talking about how you need to lose 5 pounds?
People who talk about how their lives weren't complete till they had kids. Don't get me wrong I love my kid but I think I had a pretty good life before her too. I can't relate to the conversation because being a mom is just one segement of my life and I don't relate to the idea I had a void in my life till she came along.
Same with marriage. I love DH but he doesn't "complete" me.
Those last two might be due to the fact I tend to be too literal. Philosophy goes way over my head. They're talking abstract and I'm thinking linear.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 6:19:49 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 9:54:32 GMT -5
Obviously, my wall is not nearly as interesting as yours is, zib!
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Sept 6, 2013 9:55:20 GMT -5
I have never understood the need to drink when socializing. If it is that hard to relax around others, without the booze, why do it? I need a drink to make good small talk without wanting to off myself.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 6:19:49 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 9:55:42 GMT -5
I have never understood the need to drink when socializing. If it is that hard to relax around others, without the booze, why do it? You're right! << crosses going out tonight off her list and opens up a 6 pack >>
|
|
formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
Posts: 7,381
|
Post by formerroomate99 on Sept 6, 2013 9:57:28 GMT -5
Fashon. Thanfully, I'm old enough to know classic styles when I see them. But I don't understand why so much of what is in the women's department is designed for drag queens, or why so many women will pay good money for dressy clothes that would look better on a man.
Birth control. For the life of me, I'll never understand why it is considered the norm to have sex relying on birth control pills and nothing else with someone you barely know. Everyone knows that BC pills fail at a pretty high rate and that men ditching their children or baby mommas turning out to be psychos are both depressingly common.
Marriage=Adoption. I'll never understand why women enter into these adoption marriages (man=child) and then wonder why the guy doesn't just immediately turn into a man the moment they get a positive pregnancy test.
|
|
Sharon
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 22:48:11 GMT -5
Posts: 11,285
|
Post by Sharon on Sept 6, 2013 9:58:44 GMT -5
I don't get the need to be constantly "connected". I have a basic cell phone that gets turned off when I leave work for the day. It actually is only turned on now since DD started college. Before that it could be days or weeks before it was ever turned on. Cell phone is rarely if ever turned on during the weekend.
Answering machine at home. Nope doesn't exist. I also rarely leave a message if I call someone and they don't answer.
I have no desire and feel no need for people to be able to get in touch with me 24 hours a day.
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 6, 2013 10:00:26 GMT -5
I'm starting to not get Facebook. Seriously, your first wife who looked like a two bit whore offed herself in a bloody stand off and now you're posting pictures of yourself with another bloody two bit whore? You've learned nothing??
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 6, 2013 10:01:12 GMT -5
I have never understood the need to drink when socializing. If it is that hard to relax around others, without the booze, why do it? You've got to lube up us introverts otherwise we just stare at our shoes all night.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 6, 2013 10:01:26 GMT -5
I don't get weddings and the obessesion with planning them. I wanted to elope but DH really wanted a wedding so we had one. I didn't care as long as at the end of the day I was married. People thought I was nuts when they'd ask me what theme was I planning, what are my colors etc and I said "I don't know. I'm making shit up as I go". I was also surprised how many people equate how involved you are with planning to how much you love your future spouse. After I said the above my SIL actually asked me "Well you do want to marry DH don't you?" Uh. . I'm wearing my engagement ring so I'm pretty sure the answer to that stupid question is yes. I also found it funny that nobody expected DH to be obessesed with planning or equated how much he loved me with how involved he was in the process. I must be the only woman on the planet who hasn't been dreaming about getting married since she was 5. I was busy designing my own zoo.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 6:19:49 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 10:01:52 GMT -5
Biology Oh, not that kind of subject? I agree on the small talk. Also: sports, purses and shoes, pets as people, shopping as vacation...
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 6, 2013 10:06:35 GMT -5
I have never understood the need to drink when socializing. If it is that hard to relax around others, without the booze, why do it? I need a drink to make good small talk without wanting to off myself. There are so many things I don't get, I probably should keep it to myself. I'm with lots of others that said fashion though. It's all also designed for teenagers who want to be mistaken for hookers or for old ladies who love small floral patterns.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 6:19:49 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 10:06:38 GMT -5
Weddings is a good one. Don't get those either.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Sept 6, 2013 10:10:03 GMT -5
Biology Oh, not that kind of subject? I agree on the small talk. Also: sports, purses and shoes, pets as people, shopping as vacation... Hm. Add "fascination with sports data" to my list. I enjoy watching many sports (especially if they're live), but have absolutely no desire to talk about the games or discuss scores/strategies/background/replays.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on Sept 6, 2013 10:10:27 GMT -5
Biology Oh, not that kind of subject? I agree on the small talk. Also: sports, purses and shoes, pets as people, shopping as vacation... YES!!! I only get the purse obsession to a small degree. Finding the one that has a good design and will hold all my junk and not hold TOO much junk is harder than it looks. Sadly, I found said purse when my sister was getting rid of stuff and gave me one. Ok, it was 3, she had the same purse in 3 different colors. I'm set for life
|
|
HoneyBBQ
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 10:36:09 GMT -5
Posts: 5,395
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"","color":"3b444e"}
|
Post by HoneyBBQ on Sept 6, 2013 10:10:48 GMT -5
I don't get MOST of TV. I think we had a poll about this a long time ago but it was basically "What shows have you never seen?" I hadn't seen most of them. Including: Bachelor(ettes?), Big Brother, anything Kardashian, Bones, Dexter, CSI, etc. Pretty much most of modern TV I haven't seen.
I do DVR a couple shows: Top Chef, Project Runways, etc. I like those.
I watch sports, too.
So along with TV I don't get a lot of modern culture because I don't know who these celebrities are and I don't know the inside joke/references.
|
|
bookkeeper
Well-Known Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2012 13:40:42 GMT -5
Posts: 1,782
|
Post by bookkeeper on Sept 6, 2013 10:11:09 GMT -5
I don't get people who have to have big church weddings when they have not attended church up to this point in their lives. It seems so hypocritical to suddenly want a spiritual ceremony when you can't even get to Easter or Christmas services. I used to work for a studio photographer. One of his clients (a repeat wedding photography customer) came into the shop, booked the date and asked the photographer if he knew a good church they could get married in.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 6:19:49 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2013 10:11:22 GMT -5
Getting hysterical about entertainers. I see the old videos of girls fainting and crying over the Beatles and I just don't get it. I don't think I have ever felt whatever emotion it is they are feeling at that moment.
Gushing on about how much you love someone in a public forum. I tell people privately or on the appropriate holiday like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day or Father's Day. Even then, if it is publicly I'm kinda subdued about it.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,720
|
Post by midjd on Sept 6, 2013 10:15:51 GMT -5
I don't get maps. I have some sort of spatial deficiency. If any of you end up in a car with me, don't let me do the navigating (or you can pretend to let me, just do the opposite of whatever I say).
I also don't "get" blind trust in others. I think I was born a cynic, but some people are so naïve (despite being burned multiple times) it makes me wonder if they're crazy.
E.g. a $20K car is listed on Craigslist for $5K. My only thought: What's wrong with it? But my SIL will drive 100 miles to check out this awesome deal, and then be crushed when she figures out it's a scam. (Another example - everyone who has ever been featured on the show Catfish. You "date" someone online for years, they refuse to ever meet you in person, and you see nothing suspicious about that?)
|
|
|
Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on Sept 6, 2013 10:17:30 GMT -5
I don't get why people have the money to tattoo themselves up one side and down the other.....but need food stamps or help with their car payment/insurance.
My step siblings are guilty of this and my dad winds up helping out.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 6, 2013 10:17:43 GMT -5
I don't get maps. I have some sort of spatial deficiency. If any of you end up in a car with me, don't let me do the navigating (or you can pretend to let me, just do the opposite of whatever I say)
Nobody would ever see us again if we ended up in a car together without a GPS or mapquest directions.
|
|
formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
Posts: 7,381
|
Post by formerroomate99 on Sept 6, 2013 10:18:17 GMT -5
I have never understood the need to drink when socializing. If it is that hard to relax around others, without the booze, why do it? A drink or two is a crutch for introverts and makes it easier to socialize with idiots and people you have little in common with. But I agree with you that staying sober and choosing to socialize with people you're comfortable with is a better strategy most of the time.
|
|
movingforward
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 15, 2011 12:48:31 GMT -5
Posts: 8,385
|
Post by movingforward on Sept 6, 2013 10:19:22 GMT -5
Twitter - I don't get it. To me it seems like the most ridiculous thing ever invented. I don't care to "follow" someone especially some celeb that means nothing to me
Weddings - yep, I agree with others.
Women that become obsessed with serial killers or other men in prison. I don't really want anyone trying explain the psychological reason behind it. I don't care - I don't get it - I will never get it...
People who don't like animals - I have nothing against people who don't like them (my mom didn't) but I love animals so it is hard for me to understand people who don't care for them...
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 6, 2013 10:20:13 GMT -5
Theoretical physics. I nearly failed Physics 101 because the professor was a Theoretical Physicist. He operates on a totally different plane than I do. I watch Thru the Wormhole and feel really stupid sometimes if it's a physics heavy episode.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,720
|
Post by midjd on Sept 6, 2013 10:20:48 GMT -5
Yeah that! I can understand not liking one type of animal (dog people vs. cat people) but not liking any at all seems odd to me. Then again, I don't like people, so maybe I'm the weird one.
|
|
milee
Senior Associate
Joined: Jan 17, 2012 13:20:00 GMT -5
Posts: 12,344
|
Post by milee on Sept 6, 2013 10:24:15 GMT -5
I don't get maps. I have some sort of spatial deficiency. If any of you end up in a car with me, don't let me do the navigating (or you can pretend to let me, just do the opposite of whatever I say)
Nobody would ever see us again if we ended up in a car together without a GPS or mapquest directions. I think there's a biological basis in spatial ability. If you don't have that wiring or gene or whatever it is, maps are very tough to learn. Maybe similar to how hard it is for dyslexics to learn to read because they don't perceive the written language in the same manner as nondyslexics? My sister lived in the same small town since she was age 2. We only lived in 2 houses and the house we lived in when she turned 16 was the same house we'd lived in for at least 8 years. She had even been going to the same area for school for 6 years (the high school and middle school were next to each other.) Even with all that, the first few weeks after she got her driver's license and tried to drive to school, she got lost repeatedly. This was before most people had cell phones and for the first few years of driving, she'd often call home crying from a pay phone with no idea where she was or how to get home. "I'm at a 7-11, how do I get home?" Sniff. "I have no idea what road the 7-11 is on, but I can see a big tree out front." "Uh, yes, there's a pool supply store on one side. So that means I'm on _____ street?" Sniff. Sniff. "OK. So which way is east again?" We just gave her a bag of change and hoped for the best. It's a miracle some serial killer didn't "help" her.
|
|