8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on Sept 2, 2013 18:13:48 GMT -5
I'm not sure I could do it. A relationship is one thing. Marriage for life is quite another. I'm sure I could have some fun with a smoking hot cougar who has a lust for life and doesn't want to play silly power games.
That being said, I think someone else pointed out that most of the issues we've brought up could happen to people of the same age. Genetics play a big part. Hell, you could find yourself playing nurse (and not in a good way) to someone 5 years younger than you. I think a few people here have been in that situation. And if a person isn't a saver or a worker, their age doesn't matter as much either.
I'm re-evaluating some of my priorities recently after a visit with some of my elderly relatives. I'm not going to throw caution to the wind and finance that cool car tomorrow; but I'm not sure I'm going to wait until I'm in my 60s either. You don't know how much time you are going to get. You don't know what care will cost you in the future.
And yes, stereotypes exist and always will. Sure maybe we "should" be able to see two people together without jumping to conclusions, but we don't.
|
|
violagirl
Familiar Member
Joined: Aug 17, 2011 11:04:54 GMT -5
Posts: 703
|
Post by violagirl on Sept 2, 2013 19:22:25 GMT -5
I think that the issue is not one of numbers, but of different life experience and maybe different stages in life. We always say he is young, but he is mature for a 25 year old. Which is true, but even a mature 25 year old still has a way to go to gain the maturity of a 40 year old. How do you get past that?
|
|
Knee Deep in Water Chloe
Senior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 21:04:44 GMT -5
Posts: 14,244
Mini-Profile Name Color: 1980e6
|
Post by Knee Deep in Water Chloe on Sept 2, 2013 19:48:03 GMT -5
Again, it all depends on the specific circumstances. By the time I reached 25, I had two children, finished my master's, purchased a house, and had failed miserably at marriage. So, when I began dating again, knowing I was attracted to older men, it worked for me as I really do feel much older than I am. Often, I don't think about how old I am, and I don't judge the ages of others well.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 2, 2013 20:31:06 GMT -5
I think that the issue is not one of numbers, but of different life experience and maybe different stages in life. We always say he is young, but he is mature for a 25 year old. Which is true, but even a mature 25 year old still has a way to go to gain the maturity of a 40 year old. How do you get past that? Eh, I was 23 when we got married and DH was 40. We were at the same point in life. First marriage, I actually earned a bit more money. Both workaholics. I just read my husband your post and asked him if he thought I was immature when we got together. He said No. Once I graduated college, I was an adult. Period. I don't feel more mature now ... 8 years after our marriage. I've learned things about myself, but even DH's brother who is 25 years older than me and I could relate. The only time age is an issue when they talk about the 70s and I say yeah, I wasn't born yet. At least in our relationship, maturity was a non-issue. But then again we are both kids at heart and love having little kids because we can be silly.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 3, 2013 10:44:57 GMT -5
The only time age is an issue when they talk about the 70s and I say yeah, I wasn't born yet.
We lose each other on cultural references from our childhoods but that's about it. I guess my DH was immature when I met him? He screwed up his early/mid 20's and was getting his life back on track. I was 19 and just starting out. We met at community college and happened to have the same major. He wasn't ready to settle down and be responsible in his 20's. I was ready to settle down and be responsible in my 20's. We happened to meet at a moment where or goals in life were the same. Age hasn't been an issue for us.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 3, 2013 11:53:13 GMT -5
The only time age is an issue when they talk about the 70s and I say yeah, I wasn't born yet.
We lose each other on cultural references from our childhoods but that's about it. I guess my DH was immature when I met him? He screwed up his early/mid 20's and was getting his life back on track. I was 19 and just starting out. We met at community college and happened to have the same major. He wasn't ready to settle down and be responsible in his 20's. I was ready to settle down and be responsible in my 20's. We happened to meet at a moment where or goals in life were the same. Age hasn't been an issue for us. I think what people who aren't in a relationship with a large age difference is the main reason the relationship works (if it does) is that the two people are in the same place. When I was 20, I dated someone who was 27. We were not in the same place. I think he thought we were, but he saw a cute girl who could cook and we had some similar interests and he was think marriage. I was thinking I'm bored this summer before I go back to college. My dad got on me and asked me what I was doing with that guy because it was obvious to my dad that I was just using him to pass time (which was weird that I had time to be bored between working 2 jobs that summer, taking a class, and basically running the music portion of vacation bible school for the entire town I went to church in ... but somehow I still had some free time and wanted to date and have fun). If you aren't at the same point in your life, no matter your age, it is probably not going to work out.
|
|
NomoreDramaQ1015
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 14:26:32 GMT -5
Posts: 48,070
|
Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Sept 3, 2013 12:01:23 GMT -5
Exactly. I wasn't really into the stereotypical 20-something college student scene, I'm an introvert. It's rather challening to find a 20 something guy if you aren't interested in a lot of things other 20 somethings are.
DH had already BTDT and had no interest in continuing.
It wasn't so much I'm more mature but that I'm "different". I happened to match up better personality wise with someone who is older than me.
I wouldn't have touched DH's 20 something self with a 10 foot pole. I'm also sure if he hadn't come along I probably would have found someone my age eventually.
DH just happpened to get there first and at a point in his life that his goals/desires matched my own. I wasn't going to boot him to the curb just because some random person doesn't "get it" when it comes to our age differences.
|
|
muttleynfelix
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 15:32:52 GMT -5
Posts: 9,406
|
Post by muttleynfelix on Sept 3, 2013 12:08:01 GMT -5
Exactly.
Listen if you don't get it, don't worry about. You don't have to live with it, so don't worry about it. I'm sure there is something in your own life that you can worry about.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 2:24:47 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2013 12:25:46 GMT -5
My first husband was 5 years younger, the second 5 years older. I think I will stick to the same age as me from now on.
|
|
steph08
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 3, 2011 13:06:01 GMT -5
Posts: 5,504
|
Post by steph08 on Sept 3, 2013 12:57:10 GMT -5
DH is 6 years older than me. When we met, he had already had his birthday that year, I hadn't - so I was 19 and he was 26.
For the most part, it works fine for us. The only discrepancy we have is that he wants kids now because he is getting "old" while I feel like I have a few years left before I need to worry about that!
Ours isn't a huge age difference, but considering most people seem to be within 2-3 years of their spouse, we do have a wider gap.
|
|