Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on Aug 19, 2013 14:53:38 GMT -5
there is one woman on my FB friends list who's about to get unfriended/hidden. I usually scroll past most of her stuff, but she likes to go on and on about how she stays at home with her two little boys and STILL manages to clean the house daily, work full time from home, and put a nice dinner on the table for her husband every day. Oh, my personal favorite was how she didn't understand how people say that parenting is the hardest thing they've had to do because it's just so freaking easy - I mean she's had SOOOO many more difficult obstacles to overcome in her life than parenting two young kids... May her 3rd child be demon spawn
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moneymaven
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 10:05:04 GMT -5
Posts: 1,864
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Post by moneymaven on Aug 19, 2013 14:54:05 GMT -5
I don't go on FB to see depressing posts. I want to read about the good stuff in people's lives. I hate the Debbie Downers. They get unfriended quickly. I post about the happy things in my life and try to seek the same in friends. I like to celebrate the highlights of life - theirs and mine. It's also a good way for me to keep family in far away lands in the loop about DS and our little family. FB allowed me to reconnect with a lot of friends from HS and college. We now get together more often and have dinner, play dates, etc. Isn't that what social networking is about?
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shanendoah
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Mini-Profile Name Color: 0c3563
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Post by shanendoah on Aug 19, 2013 14:56:59 GMT -5
Here's the thing with FB- it gives you a chance to control what other people see and know about your life. Why in the world would I ever post something along the lines of "DD had a major breakdown last night, and DH says its all my fault because I'm a horrible mother"? Or if I were Formerly SK friend, why would I ever post "vacation was horrible. It was so hot none of us could sleep, so DH and I fought the whole trip and the kids were brats". And coming from the other end, why would I want to read that from people on FB? Yes, my good friends and my family will tell me what happened in phone conversations or emails, but as "real life" as that is, what would be the point in me knowing that about some one I went to grade school with? At the same time, my friends don't just use it for happy things. It's how I know when someone's family member (human or 4 legged) has passed. In most cases, I don't think the people who post that information are out for drama, mostly they are letting the rest of us know they may not be around as much, and if they are, they are likely to be down, and here's why. And I'm grateful. I don't want to inquire after someone's mom (who I knew was sick) if it turns out they've passed. I don't want to ask about the elderly kitty cat if it makes my friend have to say one more time that their beloved companion is gone. FB is a tool. Remember that you have the power to shape how everyone else sees your life, and they have the same power over the visibility of their own lives.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 14:58:08 GMT -5
Have you ever considered not going on FB?? Seems like a cheap and easy solution to the problem. Nah, it's more fun to complain. I did shut off updates from one guy who posted nothing but food porn- cheesy, fried food, or desserts loaded with frosting. Unfortunately, more of my friends are doing this. I'm so tempted to post and ask them if they actually make these recipes or they're just fantasizing. I understand the need to put things in a positive light on FB. They see the sunny days on our vacations, not the rain. They see me in slinky clothes but not sweaty and disheveled after a workout. When I changed jobs, the explanation was "I d done all I could at my old job", not "they told me the team in India could support the work of the unit so I should seek other opportunities so I left before I got thrown out". I still like FB because I've kept in touch with far more friends and relatives than I would have by letter.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 15:15:24 GMT -5
I don't want to reach about your fucked up life on Facebook. Just brag like everyone else damn it!
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Taxman10
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 29, 2010 15:12:43 GMT -5
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Post by Taxman10 on Aug 19, 2013 15:19:13 GMT -5
Me too! The thing that I cannot STAND is when people post cryptic statuses: X: feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me << 500 people asking what's up and sending good wishes >> X: *silence* WTF is THAT anyway??!?! I LOVE doing this!!!! :-)
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hurley1980
Well-Known Member
I am all that is wrong with the world....don't get too close, I'm contagious.
Joined: Dec 23, 2010 17:35:06 GMT -5
Posts: 1,959
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Post by hurley1980 on Aug 19, 2013 15:27:19 GMT -5
I go on Facebook to feel better about myself. All of my friends and family are trainwrecks!
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formerroomate99
Junior Associate
Joined: Sept 12, 2011 13:33:12 GMT -5
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Post by formerroomate99 on Aug 19, 2013 16:00:08 GMT -5
OP, you recently had a breakdown.
Why on earth are you engaging in unnecessary activities that upset you?
You can and will drive yourself crazy if you do stupid shit like this.
Keep your mind focused on positive things. If you can't do Facebook without feeling bad then stay away from it.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 16:06:09 GMT -5
Yes, not sure which is more annoying, those who use facebook to chronicle their cryptic hurts or hilight reels.... I try to just post pictures of my food to be safe ... I would have preferred pics of your adorable kids, but that's waaay OT You'd think, but the kids never seem to get as many likes as that post of my stuffed mini bell peppers over zucchini noodles... Im not sure how to feel about that ...
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Formerly SK
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Joined: Feb 27, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
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Post by Formerly SK on Aug 19, 2013 16:20:27 GMT -5
I don't go on FB to see depressing posts. I want to read about the good stuff in people's lives. I hate the Debbie Downers. They get unfriended quickly. I post about the happy things in my life and try to seek the same in friends. I like to celebrate the highlights of life - theirs and mine. It's also a good way for me to keep family in far away lands in the loop about DS and our little family. FB allowed me to reconnect with a lot of friends from HS and college. We now get together more often and have dinner, play dates, etc. Isn't that what social networking is about? I don't like Debbie Downers either. But I think there is a weird disconnect when someone is constantly posting about the great 5% of their life when the other 95% is boring/bad. It feels dishonest to me and like a KUWTJ for happiness. IMO it is much more interesting to read someone's reflection of a crappy vacation - it's more real and it shows who the person actually is vs some Norman Rockwell holiday card. I like social networking if it leads to more connectedness and friendships based on reality. I'm not sure FB does that too much anymore. Full disclosure: I have a FB account but I've never posted a status update on it. I only use it to find friends/family I've lost touch with and then email them privately.
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Formerly SK
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 27, 2011 14:23:13 GMT -5
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Post by Formerly SK on Aug 19, 2013 16:21:08 GMT -5
I would have preferred pics of your adorable kids, but that's waaay OT You'd think, but the kids never seem to get as many likes as that post of my stuffed mini bell peppers over zucchini pasta.... Im not sure how to feel about that ... Your kids don't taste as good.
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Phoenix84
Senior Associate
Joined: Feb 17, 2011 21:42:35 GMT -5
Posts: 10,056
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Post by Phoenix84 on Aug 19, 2013 17:24:42 GMT -5
It's kind of funny, we talked about this very topic at church on Sunday. Basically, people only post on the social media sites the "picture perfect" stuff, when in fact they're dealing with other stuff behind the scenes. If you want the real scoop on internet homies, you come to this message board.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
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Post by swamp on Aug 19, 2013 17:36:20 GMT -5
there is one woman on my FB friends list who's about to get unfriended/hidden. I usually scroll past most of her stuff, but she likes to go on and on about how she stays at home with her two little boys and STILL manages to clean the house daily, work full time from home, and put a nice dinner on the table for her husband every day. Oh, my personal favorite was how she didn't understand how people say that parenting is the hardest thing they've had to do because it's just so freaking easy - I mean she's had SOOOO many more difficult obstacles to overcome in her life than parenting two young kids... Take solace in the fact that her sweet little babies will be burning the house down as teens.
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Otto the Orange
Well-Known Member
Go Orange!
Joined: Aug 23, 2012 4:20:52 GMT -5
Posts: 1,284
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Post by Otto the Orange on Aug 19, 2013 17:36:38 GMT -5
Me too! The thing that I cannot STAND is when people post cryptic statuses: X: feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me << 500 people asking what's up and sending good wishes >> X: *silence* WTF is THAT anyway??!?! That is someone that if they continue with this nonsense I am either unfriending or setting it up so their posts don't show on my "feed" anymore
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cronewitch
Junior Associate
I identify as a post-menopausal childless cat lady and I vote.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 21:44:20 GMT -5
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Post by cronewitch on Aug 19, 2013 17:41:45 GMT -5
I only post about a dozen times a year maybe half a dozen.
First I think about everyone who might read it and if they will be hurt or angry and post something vanilla.
For example I posted mom was sick and it might be pancreatic cancer. This way her grandchildren I never talk to would know and not find out until it was too late. I posted a few times when she was sick and a simple post when she died. It was factual not emotional.
ISO is getting a house, I will not be posting that information. He is a facebook friend as well as his sister, he is a private person and would be very angry if I told his business.
I did give the address to a few people on the phone so they could see the pictures on zillow.
Fighting in public is disgusting, I don't want to hear how nobody respects you and people are mean. Get a job, leave the house, don't worry about other people ignoring you.
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Nazgul Girl
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Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Today's Mood: excellent
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Aug 19, 2013 18:22:18 GMT -5
I have used facebook to reach out to various cousins whom I rarely see. It's been rewarding. I've gotten closer to two of them, and know that two of the others are doing well. My only male first cousin has disowned us all, including his sister, for whatever set of internal reasons he has. He's a retired AF lieutenant colonel who married his stepson's wife ( yes, you read that right ) and probably had a kid with her before they got married, so maybe his personal life is a little complicated, and he doesn't want us to know about it ? I have no idea. I do post about things that get me down, like DH's cancer and my injuring my knee, leg infection, and subsequent surgery, but I also update with the positive stuff. I like to comment on my DD's posts and pictures since she's so busy. I'm about to unfriend one person who hasn't been acting right toward me, but it's not a big problem. It just annoys me to see her on my list of so-called friends . I don't feel depressed when I read about what other people are doing, unless they're on the Ultimate Alaska Cruise or something. Even then, it just makes me want to plan our own Alaskan cruise. Also, I want to go to Iceland, which is irrelevant to this subject. I think it's a mistake to put your whole life on facebook, though.
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Nazgul Girl
Junior Associate
Babysitting our new grandbaby 3 days a week !
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Today's Mood: excellent
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Post by Nazgul Girl on Aug 19, 2013 18:26:54 GMT -5
My DD used to teach with this guy who is quite the attention whore. He takes pictures of the plates of food and huge desserts he orders in restaurants ( I mean, who posts pictures of their dinners from Applebees ? ). He also has some girlfriend from the past ( ten years ago ) who broke off the relationship, and he mourns her late at night with posts such as " I miss Missy ( not her real name ) and I think I'm going to...." He even posts pictures he takes of himself looking sad . Then all sorts of concerned teacher friends get in touch with him because they think he might do himself in. Of course, he loves the attention and emotional hugs he gets. He passes it all off as just a passing moment of being down, and then repeats the cycle in 2-3 months. That's just strangeness.
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movingforward
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Post by movingforward on Aug 19, 2013 19:39:57 GMT -5
Full disclosure: I have a FB account but I've never posted a status update on it. I only use it to find friends/family I've lost touch with and then email them privately.
This is all I use FB for too. At this point I have pretty much found anyone I cared to find so I rarely even go to FB anymore. I check it maybe 1-2 times a month and every time I do I wonder why I check it at all because I could really care less about most of what people post. Also, out of everyone on FB I am only truly close to about 10 of them and I see all of them on a regular basis (or at the very least talk to them). We know what is going on in each others lives, the good and the bad. They are true friends and I don't really need to check their "status" on FB. One thing I can say FB does seem to be good for is finding out if someone you knew 20 yrs ago has passed away or has been seriously injured. Sadly, this happened recently. I found out last week someone I went to high school with passed away from an aneurism. I was glad I checked it last week...
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GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl
Senior Associate
"How you win matters." Ender, Ender's Game
Joined: Jan 2, 2011 13:33:09 GMT -5
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Post by GRG a/k/a goldenrulegirl on Aug 19, 2013 20:18:54 GMT -5
I have a Facebook account so that I can access information from an organization I belong to.
But, I have no friends and so don't/can't read about everyone else's perfect life.
Despite, or perhaps, in spite of, my Facebook-based ignorance, I seem to be happy and well-adjusted otherwise.
I guess I am just saying that a Facebook account isn't exactly mandatory or life-supporting.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 20:27:18 GMT -5
I would have preferred pics of your adorable kids, but that's waaay OT You'd think, but the kids never seem to get as many likes as that post of my stuffed mini bell peppers over zucchini noodles... Im not sure how to feel about that ... If I like the pic of your kids it shows that pic to all my friends. Some parents don't like that.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 20:30:57 GMT -5
Woe, woe, woe! Say what? Why is he getting a house?
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 20:34:02 GMT -5
Woe, woe, woe! Say what? Why is he getting a house? The thread is in YM. I just bumped it for you.
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raeoflyte
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Post by raeoflyte on Aug 19, 2013 21:09:27 GMT -5
You'd think, but the kids never seem to get as many likes as that post of my stuffed mini bell peppers over zucchini noodles... Im not sure how to feel about that ... If I like the pic of your kids it shows that pic to all my friends. Some parents don't like that. Not if I have my pictures marked that only friends, and not friends of friends, can see them. Typing that out makes me realize how dumb that sounds. Op-have you thought of taking a break from fb? Have you spoken with your therapist about this? I mostly post pictures of my kids. I hate cryptic pity posts. I don't think I've ever felt depressed based on others posts (I know it happens though). But I spend all day looking at peoples financial lives and have a pretty good idea of what choices people are making to live the lives they do. I'm most "jealous" of our poorest friends because of the awesome things they are accomplishing in their yard. All done themselves.
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NoNamePerson
Distinguished Associate
Is There Anybody OUT There?
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Post by NoNamePerson on Aug 19, 2013 21:25:55 GMT -5
Well, I have FB but have never posted one thing on it!! I'm dull as dirt. I don't even have my picture on there. Just picked out something from Google Images.
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constanz22
Senior Member
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Post by constanz22 on Aug 19, 2013 21:36:28 GMT -5
I'm on FB to watch the trainwreck that is my in laws from afar, and to keep up with the sane relatives that live far far away. I get much more amusement out of the trainwrecks though. Ooh, the train wrecks are the best! I have a couple people I went to HS with, that I wasn't even "friends" with then. I keep saying I need to delete them, but I get too much amusement out of them . The one, I read her posts to my office mate and we laugh our asses off. At least once a week it's about how awful her life is. Her car got impounded. Her food stamps didn't get processed right and now she has no money and no food. Bitching about how our state doesn't care about it's residents, she can't get any "help", can't find a job, but then says she was overpaid like $3500 in unemployment, and then she's about to be homeless again, and on and on and on. Usually with plenty of misspelled words . I'm going to hell...lol
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 21:41:48 GMT -5
My FB page is good news story, vacation and event pictures, cartoons and stuff I find funny, recipes and a few posts about stuff I like. It's like making small talk at a party. I don't think I go over the top. But if I do just hide me.
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gooddecisions
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Post by gooddecisions on Aug 19, 2013 21:55:33 GMT -5
My biggest pet peeve is definitely cryptic statuses, I just roll my eyes and move on. Second is quoting song lyrics or bible passages. Food pictures get really old unless it came with a recipe. I like to know what people are up to and endless pictures of food tells me nothing. Pet photos also get old. I used to be bored by kid photos, but then I had one and now I love seeing kid photos. I like seeing vacation photos, travel photos, hobbies (other than food), kids, home projects, even pets and exercise routines if it's occasional. A few friends posts that they worked out at least 3 times every week and I find that pretty pointless since it's repetitive. I read some interesting articles or watch videos I would have never found if a friend hadn't posted. I also like using facebook for buy, sell, trade. I mostly keep my account to share photo albums and get invited to events. But, it's all good. Facebook would be pretty boring if nobody posted, so I'll take the good with the bad.
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Deleted
Joined: Oct 7, 2024 0:26:46 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2013 22:00:43 GMT -5
I honestly hardly ever post food, but I did that one last week and it got so many likes it seriously has me questioning my whole facebook strategy...
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Apple
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Always travel with a sense of humor
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Post by Apple on Aug 19, 2013 22:04:43 GMT -5
I've deleted several people I was friends with in high school, just because the friendship wasn't there anymore. If I ever saw them, I'd probably say "hi", and that would be about it. A group of them have been great friends since HS, but I was never "in" the group. So, instead of thinking "I wish I was in the group too, they were all just in town hanging out", I just deleted them. I have a few of my ex-husband's cousins as friends--one had a huge crush on me, and one is a mess who does crazy political rants, but occasionally he has a gem and I just can't quit him, lol. This was one from Friday night "The bar is so funny. I see cougars hittin on the young bucks, young bucks hittin on the lesbians, and lames hittin on the hottest chicks. I'm glad I'm not the only one who is not gettin laid tonight. "
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Miss Tequila
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Post by Miss Tequila on Aug 19, 2013 22:15:57 GMT -5
My biggest pet peeve is definitely cryptic statuses, I just roll my eyes and move on. Second is quoting song lyrics or bible passages. Food pictures get really old unless it came with a recipe. I like to know what people are up to and endless pictures of food tells me nothing. Pet photos also get old. I used to be bored by kid photos, but then I had one and now I love seeing kid photos. I like seeing vacation photos, travel photos, hobbies (other than food), kids, home projects, even pets and exercise routines if it's occasional. A few friends posts that they worked out at least 3 times every week and I find that pretty pointless since it's repetitive. I read some interesting articles or watch videos I would have never found if a friend hadn't posted. I also like using facebook for buy, sell, trade. I mostly keep my account to share photo albums and get invited to events. But, it's all good. Facebook would be pretty boring if nobody posted, so I'll take the good with the bad. I can't stand the nonstop political and religious posts....I respect everyone's views but nonstop political and nonstop religious posts drive me insane. I don't hide the people, I just post irritating stuff back until they block me...once they block me I feel like I've won!lol
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