zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Jul 30, 2013 10:51:02 GMT -5
Thank you for the update. I was a GAL to teen girls aging out and I can get that it's no picnic but they need a home and guidance, too.
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Jul 31, 2013 21:20:29 GMT -5
Every child needs a home where they can feel comfortable and loved. Later is providing that to these GWs.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 7, 2013 13:11:53 GMT -5
Anything fun to update us with?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2013 8:11:37 GMT -5
We just got back from visitting my parents. The girls are great. They giggle and laugh together and so far no fighting. Well apparently they got mad at each other one night but they just ignored each other for a while and it passed. Which is really good cause they shared a room all week. GW1 is visitting in Nova Scotia and they text each other every day. This is giving GW2 a chance to do more around the house without invading anyone's space so she mowed the lawn and made dinner last night. On her own initiative. I've got a good life
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 8, 2013 8:15:10 GMT -5
Awww. Do you think they'll stay in touch after university?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2013 8:19:03 GMT -5
I'm hoping I'm sure GW1 will and it looks good with GW2 so far.
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on Aug 8, 2013 9:03:47 GMT -5
I'm so happy for you and the GWs! You all are an inspiration.
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Wisconsin Beth
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Post by Wisconsin Beth on Aug 8, 2013 10:51:20 GMT -5
Do you think they will stay in touch with each other?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 8, 2013 11:43:12 GMT -5
I'm pretty sure they will. From what I can see not all kids in care become friends, but once they do they stick together.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 15:58:33 GMT -5
Hi Later I hesitated because I got the "no need to bump up old threads" warning on this, but I am wondering how things are going with your two girls, and I didn't want to start a new thread. I hope you don't mind, and I hope everything is going well!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 16:03:20 GMT -5
Hi debt, it is still going great from my end. GW2 is going through some growing pains establishing a new relationship with her family. She gets to set the boundaries for it now. It is a bit sad to watch her disappointment in how the visits with them go. But she likes living here and both girls are gearing up for school week after next.
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Peace Of Mind
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Post by Peace Of Mind on Aug 25, 2013 16:10:54 GMT -5
Hi debt, it is still going great from my end. GW2 is going through some growing pains establishing a new relationship with her family. She gets to set the boundaries for it now. It is a bit sad to watch her disappointment in how the visits with them go. But she likes living here and both girls are gearing up for school week after next. Is it because you are a tough act to follow and her family are now disappointing to her? One of my best friends is fostering again and has a 9 year old living with them. It's going very well and they are so happy!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 16:29:44 GMT -5
LOL You have such faith in me POM! No, her family is just disappointing. Very self centred with no thought to what they should be doing for her. Everyone deserves to have their parents make a fuss about them and focus on them once in a while. Nice to hear about your friends and the nine year old.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 16:37:04 GMT -5
Later thanks SO much for the update!
I'm so sorry that GW2 is going through that, it must be very difficult for her. But it's great that both your girls have found such a stable new environment with you and each other. I know it's very hard for you to see her disappointment, but it probably would have been much worse if she didn't have you and GW1 to rely on.
Or else it's exactly what POM said, maybe she's making comparisons now that she didn't allow herself to make before.
In any case, I'm glad things are continuing to work out well! I love reading about you and your girls.
ETA: I wish you would post about them more often!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 17:05:10 GMT -5
Thanks debt but there isn't a lot to say when there are no problems. Well, GW1 and I went to Toronto for a family gathering this weekend so we took the opportunity to shop at the big city stores We have been together 2 years now and it is really noticeable. We have always gotten along pretty well but the comfort level is at an all time high. We get each others jokes, we have some history together and we are family. It looks like she plans to stay in town to go to University so we will have another 6 years together. She plans to go to law school to eventually become a family court judge so she can make decisions for kids like the ones that were made for her. And the coolest part is that she knows she can do it!
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 25, 2013 18:36:33 GMT -5
I wish GW1 all the luck and good mojo for her to reach her dreams (same with GW2 too). In dealing with GW1, she knows how kids feel at that stage. It sounds like it would be perfect for her! What does GW2 plan to do after graduation? Does she graduate the year after GW1 or the same year? FWIW, I love reading the GW1 & GW2 updates too!
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 25, 2013 18:42:01 GMT -5
Hi Later I hesitated because I got the "no need to bump up old threads" warning on this, but I am wondering how things are going with your two girls, and I didn't want to start a new thread. I hope you don't mind, and I hope everything is going well! Debthaven, let me clear up that concern for you, please. The warning was placed because some folks were bringing back VERY old threads to do no more than add a smiley, or an inane comment. A thread like this is more like a serial thread, and those are fine to bump. This is a subject in which a lot of folks are interested, and you had a legitimate reason for bumping it. In cases like that, bump away! mmhmm, Administrator
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 18:43:31 GMT -5
At this point GW2 wants to be an engineer. She needs to go back to high school for a year to upgrade her math and science. She got streamed into General at the beginning of high school and her former foster mother didn't let her switch to Academic. I don't really understand the whole story. But it means GW2 will need to take 5 courses each semester when the normal load is 4. It's her plan and she says she is more than happy to do the work. Hey, I'll support her goals. GW2 should start university next year and GW1 will start the year after.
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mmhmm
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 25, 2013 18:45:26 GMT -5
Later, it's good to hear the girls are doing so well. I'm sorry GW2 has to deal with such disappointment in her birth family, but I guess that's why she's in foster care. At least now, she has someone who really cares about her and is willing to put herself out there for the girl's benefit. I do admire what you're doing and the dedication you turn toward these girls.
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taz157
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Post by taz157 on Aug 25, 2013 18:55:21 GMT -5
Later, it's good to hear the girls are doing so well. I'm sorry GW2 has to deal with such disappointment in her birth family, but I guess that's why she's in foster care. At least now, she has someone who really cares about her and is willing to put herself out there for the girl's benefit. I do admire what you're doing and the dedication you turn toward these girls.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 20:23:41 GMT -5
Later is the coolest evarrrrr!! I am in awe of what you are doing. You are a great role model.
Do the GWs get full college through the province/country where you are?
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 25, 2013 21:04:32 GMT -5
Count me as another one who is in total awe and wonder of what Later is doing for these girls. You are one special woman and you deserve great things in your life. The GWs do also as I'm sure they have been through enough already.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2013 22:05:34 GMT -5
Later is the coolest evarrrrr!! I am in awe of what you are doing. You are a great role model. Do the GWs get full college through the province/country where you are? They will get their college or university tuition paid as well as a monthly living allowance until they are 21 if they stay in school. So few foster kids take post secondary education, they are doing their best to encourage them. It is much cheaper for us as a society than having them on welfare for life. Thanks for the compliments folks, it's really nice of you. But this is one of the funnest things I have done in my life.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 28, 2013 20:42:20 GMT -5
So they are having their first fight. GW1 brought 3 pieces of cake home from her brother's birthday party yesterday, 2 chocolate and 1 vanilla (believe it or not that is relevant). Then a friend of hers came over and spent the night. I am low carbing again so I have amazingly resisted eating any cake. I am pretty sure all 3 pieces were there when I left for work this morning and all the girls were in bed. I get a text about 10 am asking me if I ate the vanilla cake. I said no. GW1 is all upset because the vanilla was for her because she didn't like the chocolate (I still have to have a talk with her about hoarding the best stuff). She tells me GW2 is denying eating it but she is sure she did. I didn't say anything. She says she is mad at GW2 for lying. I said "I am leaving this for you two to work out". I did ask GW2 if she ate the cake and then just didn't want to admit it when GW1 started making a stink. She said no, she doesn't even like cake. Then I dropped it. This evening GW1 gets home and GW2 is avoiding her. GW1 thinks GW2 is mad at her. Again, I told her I am going to let them work it out.
I'll keep you informed.
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chiver78
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Post by chiver78 on Aug 28, 2013 20:52:52 GMT -5
LOL You have such faith in me POM! No, her family is just disappointing. Very self centred with no thought to what they should be doing for her. Everyone deserves to have their parents make a fuss about them and focus on them once in a while. Nice to hear about your friends and the nine year old. Later, you and GW1 ARE her family now. from what you've posted, you and GW1 are doing things exactly right. I think she will come to learn that "family" is who makes you feel loved, whether it's a blood relation or not. thank you for what you are able and willing to do.
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mmhmm
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It's a great pity the right of free speech isn't based on the obligation to say something sensible.
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Post by mmhmm on Aug 28, 2013 21:15:05 GMT -5
This one's a piece of cake! Seriously, I think you did exactly the right thing. This is for them to work out between them. Something far more "important" will crop up and this little spat will go "poof".
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TheOtherMe
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Post by TheOtherMe on Aug 28, 2013 21:30:51 GMT -5
They do have to learn to work out differences and hopefully learn that this is not a major problem in the larger world.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Aug 29, 2013 20:11:25 GMT -5
Later I think you did the right thing too. Trust me they are acting like true siblings LOL!
Maybe GW1's friend ate the vanilla cake? If GW2 DID eat the vanilla, I'd be upset about her lying too. (To me too the issue would be the lying, not eating the cake). But what are you going to do at this point? It's too late to take stomach samples LOL. If GW2 did eat the vanilla cake, it would bug me that she thinks that lying was the best way out. At some point something relevant will come up, and you can talk to both girls about how you feel about lying.
But I still think you are right to let them work it out between themselves. Micromanaging other people is a royal PITA, and both of them are too old for that now. I'm a firm believer in "logical consequences". If GW2 DID eat the cake, she is probably feeling very guilty about it, and the "spat" with GW1 is probably causing her plenty of grief. And if she didn't, then GW1 will probably learn a valuable lesson about false accusations.
This said, we have a rule in our house: any food that is "special" and not to be touched is put in a plastic bag. Sometimes the kids go out to dinner and bring the rest home because they want to save it for lunch or dinner the next day. By tying it up in a plastic bag, the rest of us know it's "off limits". It also works when I shop for a special meal, or for company. If the food is tied up in a plastic bag, the kids know they can't just help themselves to it.
Maybe that would be a good rule for your girls?
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zibazinski
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Post by zibazinski on Sept 2, 2013 8:27:41 GMT -5
Excellent idea. That's a lot easier than coming home to host the ladies at bunco and finding DF has helped himself to the fruit tray. Too late for another tray run and the ladies thought it was funny but I didn't think it was nearly as funny.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2013 9:08:20 GMT -5
Yes Zib that rule works for DHs too lol.
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