Always bring something to party?

[Mrs. Dinero]

I always like to bring something to a party. I don't like to show up empty handed.

What to bring to boss's party? All food and drink will be provided. It's tonight outside in his backyard, poolside. Spouses and kids are invited. It's going to be very hot today. Need some ideas. Hate to come empty handed.

[Deleted]

bottle of wine/booze
plant

[The Captain]

A bottle of wine...perhaps a nice crisp pinot grigio? 

[alabamagal]

Jun 26, 2013 8:31:25 GMT -5 ArchietheDragon said:

bottle of wine/booze
plant

I was about to say the same thing.  Can't go wrong with wine or liquor if that is something that they enjoy.  If they don't drink, then a plant would be nice.

[kittensaver]

I agree with Archie. When I don't know what else to bring, I fall back on the old standards: a bottle of wine or a bouquet of flowers.

[chiver78]

a nice bottle of wine for the hosts is never a bad idea, if they are wine drinkers.

[Mrs. Dinero]

I buy my wine in a box so I'll need help there. Don't want to spend more than $15/20. It would look odd if I spent more than that like I'm trying too hard.

How about simple bouquet of flowers?

Or should I come empty handed? There will be 50+ guests. Boss and his DW are MDs if that helps.

[Mrs. Dinero]

They both drink.  I'll pick up some wine.  Thanks

[milee]

Go to the closest wine shop or gourmet store that has good, knowledgeable wine help and Tell them you're looking to spend $15 - $20 and it's a host gift for your boss.  They will fix you up.

Personally, I'm not a fan of the flowers thing, but some people like them.

Don't go empty handed.  $15-$20 is a small price to pay to make a good impression and avoid the possibility of offending boss or wife, IMHO.

[thyme4change]

You could buy a box of chocolates and write a little note and set it in the corner.  The family could enjoy it after you have all cleared out of their house.

For a pool party, a gift certificate to get the floors cleaned after the party would be appropriate.  

We throw a lot of parties, and sometimes I find people bringing stuff to be kind of a pain. I tend to already buy twice the food and booze that we need, and then someone comes in with a bottle of wine.  I feel obligated to open it, and then when everyone leaves, there are usually 9 bottles of wine with 1 glass out of each, and I don't like 4 of them, so they sit on the counter until I throw them away.  Or I have more food than the country can eat, and someone shows up with a huge batch of bean dip, and then says "Oh, you can enjoy the leftovers." and frickin' leaves a square yard of bean dip.  So, I put it in the fridge, like magically anyone in my family would start to like bean dip.  And then 3 weeks later I find it in the back and it is all green and moldy.  I know people are being generous and appreciative, and I love that they want to help and thank me.  But sometimes it backfires.  And I feel guilty for thinking that they shouldn't have.  

[doxieluvr]

Jun 26, 2013 8:35:48 GMT -5 Mrs. Dinero said:

I buy my wine in a box so I'll need help there. Don't want to spend more than $15/20. It would look odd if I spent more than that like I'm trying too hard.

How about simple bouquet of flowers?

Or should I come empty handed? There will be 50+ guests. Boss and his DW are MDs if that helps.

I tend to pick up a bottle from a local winery. $13 plus tax. 

[doxieluvr]

Jun 26, 2013 8:40:42 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

You could buy a box of chocolates and write a little note and set it in the corner.  The family could enjoy it after you have all cleared out of their house.

For a pool party, a gift certificate to get the floors cleaned after the party would be appropriate.  

We throw a lot of parties, and sometimes I find people bringing stuff to be kind of a pain. I tend to already buy twice the food and booze that we need, and then someone comes in with a bottle of wine.  I feel obligated to open it, and then when everyone leaves, there are usually 9 bottles of wine with 1 glass out of each, and I don't like 4 of them, so they sit on the counter until I throw them away.  Or I have more food than the country can eat, and someone shows up with a huge batch of bean dip, and then says "Oh, you can enjoy the leftovers." and frickin' leaves a square yard of bean dip.  So, I put it in the fridge, like magically anyone in my family would start to like bean dip.  And then 3 weeks later I find it in the back and it is all green and moldy.  I know people are being generous and appreciative, and I love that they want to help and thank me.  But sometimes it backfires.  And I feel guilty for thinking that they shouldn't have.  

If I bring the host a bottle of wine, I certainly do not expect them to open it. Put it in your collection to enjoy at a later date.

[thyme4change]

So, here is the problem with flowers.  You are going to be walking into their house, and they will have 50+ people in there.  Everyone is milling around, trying to get settled.  The hostess is directing people to the pool, offering beverages, telling people where the bathroom is, finishing up food prep, making sure everyone has a towel, greeting people, introducing people, helping her kids find their missing bathing suit, and you walk in with flowers.  Now she has to find a vase, fill it with water, cut the stems, arrange the flowers and find an empty space that isn't filled with food or drinks (my house is small, when we have a party, there is no flat service unutilized.)  Flowers just became a chore.  They are sweet, but I have enough to do.  


Once someone brought me flowers, forgot them in the car, ran out during dinner, brought them in, and then fussed at me until I got up from eating, and put them in water.  Because that was a nice gesture - interrupt my dinner so I can do chores.

[milee]

Thyme is being a very kind hostess to feel she needs to open all the wine people bring, but it's not necessary to open wine people bring.  If your hosts are that generous, then wine isn't necessarily a gift, as Thyme said.  But since it's not necessary to open the wine and not everyone does it, the gifted wine is something they can use later.

Alternatively, if they're both drinkers and you know what they drink, a nice bottle of their favorite is a thoughtful gift.  Nice gin, whiskey, etc. are always appreciated and last a long time.  

[Mrs. Dinero]

Bottle of Chivas? I know he is a whiskey drinker.

As am I .  I am a whiskey drinking woman. 

[doxieluvr]

That's why I do not do cut flowers. If I take flowers, they are in the form of a hanging basket, in a vase or potted. The hostess can leave them be until after the party is over, before having to do anything.

Mostly I take wine, unless I know that they would prefer liquor and the brand.

[milee]

Sure.  Or if he isn't loyal to one brand, it's always fun to get a local or craft brand. 

[doxieluvr]

Jun 26, 2013 8:47:49 GMT -5 Mrs. Dinero said:

Bottle of Chivas? I know he is a whiskey drinker.

Sounds perfect.

[Tennesseer]

Unless you are asked to bring some food, go with wine or some other gift for the hosts. To bring food may imply to some hosts the food being served to guests isn't good enough to eat.

[kittensaver]

I dunno, when I bring flowers it is always in a vase with water - so they can just be handed to the hostess. No one's ever turned them away.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

Bring Okios greek yogurt.  Preferably carried by John Stamos.

[Deleted]

I'm going to a July 4 party next week. The host is a Beatles fan nut, and while I was out and about the other day I happened to see a set of coasters with each one being a Beatles album cover. He'll love 'em. The hostess is an expert at killing outdoor plants. She buys bedding plants, takes them home and plants them, then forgets to water them. I'm making up a pot of cactus for her, and she'll definitely get the joke

[Formerly SK]

Jun 26, 2013 8:40:42 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

You could buy a box of chocolates and write a little note and set it in the corner.  The family could enjoy it after you have all cleared out of their house.

For a pool party, a gift certificate to get the floors cleaned after the party would be appropriate.  

We throw a lot of parties, and sometimes I find people bringing stuff to be kind of a pain. I tend to already buy twice the food and booze that we need, and then someone comes in with a bottle of wine.  I feel obligated to open it, and then when everyone leaves, there are usually 9 bottles of wine with 1 glass out of each, and I don't like 4 of them, so they sit on the counter until I throw them away.  Or I have more food than the country can eat, and someone shows up with a huge batch of bean dip, and then says "Oh, you can enjoy the leftovers." and frickin' leaves a square yard of bean dip.  So, I put it in the fridge, like magically anyone in my family would start to like bean dip.  And then 3 weeks later I find it in the back and it is all green and moldy.  I know people are being generous and appreciative, and I love that they want to help and thank me.  But sometimes it backfires.  And I feel guilty for thinking that they shouldn't have.  

I agree with Thyme that many times gifts can just be a PITA for the hosts.  If you bring a bottle of wine, say something like, "This is for tomorrow when you are recovering from the stresses of hosting a party" or "I thought you would enjoy this next weekend when you do X" and then hand them the bottle.  That way it is really clear that you don't expect the bottle to be opened at the party. 

[dcmetrocrab]

Beer or wine are my defaults. My mother had a gift closet growing up; our culture demands NEVER coming to someone's house empty handed, and she had a very social life back then.

[nogooddeed]

I often bring a gift basket with ground coffee and pastries for the hosts for the next morning.  That way, they don't have to do much for breakfast after having spent a lot of time and effort the previous day. 

[thyme4change]

Jun 26, 2013 8:46:27 GMT -5 milee said:

Thyme is being a very kind hostess to feel she needs to open all the wine people bring, but it's not necessary to open wine people bring.  If your hosts are that generous, then wine isn't necessarily a gift, as Thyme said.  But since it's not necessary to open the wine and not everyone does it, the gifted wine is something they can use later.

Alternatively, if they're both drinkers and you know what they drink, a nice bottle of their favorite is a thoughtful gift.  Nice gin, whiskey, etc. are always appreciated and last a long time.  

If you do bring a bottle of wine, when you walk in, hand it to the hostess and say "This is for you later, unless you need to serve it."  I never know if people are bringing me a gift, or contributing to the party.  Sometimes I put it on the table with the other beverages with a wine opener, and if it gets open or not is not up to me.  Sometimes I ask "Would you like me to open this?"  But I always feel awkward.  So, if you are coming to my house (which, I am having a pool party on Saturday, but I don't have any employees, so I'm assuming you aren't coming) just be clear of your intention.  

[thyme4change]

(Oops, I didn't see Formerly SK's post.  so,  )

And I love the breakfast basket idea - that is super cute!

[Bob Ross]

Free candy for the kids?

And it won't even be creepy (this time).

[Iggy aka IG]

DH and I just hosted a party Saturday night, and most people brought bottles of wine, and all but one bottle was opened and consumed that night.    In the past, guests have brought a bouquet of flowers, and a special vodka blend because they know vodka is my drink of choice. 


ETA:  If it were my boss, I'd find out what he/she and/or his DH/DW prefers to drink.

[sarcasticgirl]

Jun 26, 2013 9:36:04 GMT -5 Formerly SK said:

Jun 26, 2013 8:40:42 GMT -5 thyme4change said:

You could buy a box of chocolates and write a little note and set it in the corner.  The family could enjoy it after you have all cleared out of their house.

For a pool party, a gift certificate to get the floors cleaned after the party would be appropriate.  

We throw a lot of parties, and sometimes I find people bringing stuff to be kind of a pain. I tend to already buy twice the food and booze that we need, and then someone comes in with a bottle of wine.  I feel obligated to open it, and then when everyone leaves, there are usually 9 bottles of wine with 1 glass out of each, and I don't like 4 of them, so they sit on the counter until I throw them away.  Or I have more food than the country can eat, and someone shows up with a huge batch of bean dip, and then says "Oh, you can enjoy the leftovers." and frickin' leaves a square yard of bean dip.  So, I put it in the fridge, like magically anyone in my family would start to like bean dip.  And then 3 weeks later I find it in the back and it is all green and moldy.  I know people are being generous and appreciative, and I love that they want to help and thank me.  But sometimes it backfires.  And I feel guilty for thinking that they shouldn't have.  

I agree with Thyme that many times gifts can just be a PITA for the hosts.  If you bring a bottle of wine, say something like, "This is for tomorrow when you are recovering from the stresses of hosting a party" or "I thought you would enjoy this next weekend when you do X" and then hand them the bottle.  That way it is really clear that you don't expect the bottle to be opened at the party. 

gifts being a PITA? please feel free to send all the gifts to me

There's no reason the host should feel obligated to open all the wine bottles brought to an event. That's just silly. I always bring wine and never expect the bottle to be open. If i do expect to be able to drink what I've brought, I bring one for opening and one for the host.

I'd say a pretty general rule of etiquette: If you aren't hosting a potluck style event than a bottle of wine is a gift for the host. I always just put wine on the wine rack and open it if the need arises.