Showers - of the gift-giving variety

[imawino]

First – bridal showers. It’s that time of year, yuck. I mean yay! Yay for weddings and love and all that crap! So a friend and I are having a disagreement about bridal shower gifts. I say always get something from the registry, she says the registry is for the wedding presents, not the bridal shower so she’s trying to think of what to get this bride. Why bother thinking when there is a registry?? LMAO. She’s not terribly close to the bride in this instance, which I think makes a difference. If you are very close friends you MAY be able to pick out a more personal gift that would be appreciated.  But I say go registry for the shower and then either cash (preferred) or registry again for the wedding.  What do you think? 
 

Second – baby showers. Bleh. I have to throw one later this summer. I’m opting for co-ed, no shower games, and booze. Is this acceptable Mom-to-be is almost 40, does that matter?

[Miss Tequila]

Bridal - I usually skip and send either a gift from the registry or a gift card for the place they are registered (or a check if I don't actually get to the store)

Wedding - cash and only cash.  I remember one perseon giving me a gift at my wedding and I was all "wtf?"lol 

Baby - since the mom-to-be can't drink perhaps booze is kind of mean?lol 

And I HATE shower games...that is why I skip most showers

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

No games at either my wedding or baby shower.  Everyobody thanked me.

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 12, 2013 15:19:52 GMT -5 NomoreDramaQ1015 said:

No games at either my wedding or baby shower.  Everyobody thanked me.

As well they should have!  I didn't have any at my bridal shower but my family snuck some in at my baby shower.  Seriously people, how is guessing how much toilet paper it will take to go around a fat, miserable 8 months pregnant woman ever a good idea?

[imawino]

Jun 12, 2013 15:17:32 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Baby - since the mom-to-be can't drink perhaps booze is kind of mean?lol  

Allow me to introduce myself.  Hi, I'm Imawino and I AM kinda mean!  LOL.   I'm going on vacation with the mom-to-be in a couple weeks and I told her how happy I was she was going to be so fat and I could stand next to her in my bathing suit and look thinner!

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 12, 2013 15:21:24 GMT -5 imawino said:

Jun 12, 2013 15:17:32 GMT -5 Miss Tequila said:

Baby - since the mom-to-be can't drink perhaps booze is kind of mean?lol  

Allow me to introduce myself.  Hi, I'm Imawino and I AM kinda mean!  LOL.   I'm going on vacation with the mom-to-be in a couple weeks and I told her how happy I was she was going to be so fat and I could stand next to her in my bathing suit and look thinner!

LMFAO!!! 

[Blonde Granny]

OK, I'm 68 and a little out of touch on this topic, but my neighbor and I were invited to a baby shower for a girl we didn't know....by her MOM.  Yea, yea, the mom was also a neighbor.


They played a game: They took disposal diapers, put in a different variety of chocolate bar, closed the diaper up and put it in the microwave, just enough to melt the candy bar.  We were then to open said diaper i.e isn't that just so cute, just like a real dirty diaper and then guess what each candy bar was.

First off the whole idea was just disgusting and  gross, but has anyone EVER smelled the plastic etc. of a disposable diaper that gets nuked.  They had to open the windows and doors to attempt to remove the smell.

I may be old, and very set in my prim and proper ways, but I know disgusting and stupid when I see/smell it. 

[kittensaver]

Around here, we dip into the Registry twice - once for the shower and once for the wedding. Here, most brides put a variety of things on their registry, from pedantic to expensive. The less expensive stuff gets scooped up for showers and the $$ items become wedding gifts. The unspoken rule here is: if the gift is NOT on the registry, then it must be cash - no straying off the registry with "WTF" gifts. The only exception is the handing down of family heirlooms.

ETA: at least around here, it's also acceptable to double-up and spend $$$ on a gift that is combination wedding/shower.

And FWIW, I've been to any number of baby showers where alcohol was served, and it didn't bother the honoree at all. Most honorees would prefer that the guests enjoy themselves. I'd plan a shower that fits the mother-to-be's style - if that means a laid-back party with couples, booze and no cutsie games, so be it. A themed afternoon couples get-together (like a barbeque or pool table party) could be great if that fits the parents

[tcu2003]

I usually do gifts off the registry for the shower, and another gift off the registry, gift card to where they're registered at or cash for the wedding itself.

[movingforward]

Jun 12, 2013 15:27:52 GMT -5 Blonde Granny said:

OK, I'm 68 and a little out of touch on this topic, but my neighbor and I were invited to a baby shower for a girl we didn't know....by her MOM.  Yea, yea, the mom was also a neighbor.


They played a game: They took disposal diapers, put in a different variety of chocolate bar, closed the diaper up and put it in the microwave, just enough to melt the candy bar.  We were then to open said diaper i.e isn't that just so cute, just like a real dirty diaper and then guess what each candy bar was.

First off the whole idea was just disgusting and  gross, but has anyone EVER smelled the plastic etc. of a disposable diaper that gets nuked.  They had to open the windows and doors to attempt to remove the smell.

I may be old, and very set in my prim and proper ways, but I know disgusting and stupid when I see/smell it. 

OMG!  I went to a baby shower last year and they did that same stupid game.  I thought it was DISGUSTING!!  In general I think shower games are pretty bad but that was the WORST!! 

I am 28 yrs younger than you, so no, your age has nothing to do with how you felt about that game. 

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

has anyone EVER smelled the plastic etc. of a disposable diaper that gets nuked. They had to open the windows and doors to attempt to remove the smell.



Did it occur to them they could have melted the candy in a microwave safe bowl and THEN scooped it into the diaper?

[kgb18]

No games at either my wedding or baby shower.  Everyobody thanked me.

Same here.

Bridal showers -- I give a gift from the registry, and then I give cash at the wedding.

Baby showers -- I tend to go rogue and buy those little, practical, unfun (but really helpful) things that most people don't buy because, well, they're not fun. I get wipes, burp cloths, extra bibs, bottle brushes, etc.

My friend had a baby shower a few weeks ago. It was a lunchtime shower, and they served mimosas and bellinis. That was my kind of baby shower.

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

I tend to go rogue and buy those little, practical, unfun (but really helpful) things that most people don't buy because, well, they're not fun

That's what I did for my BFF and plan to do for DH's nephew's girlfriend.

For my BFF I took a risk and did a post-pregnancy care package based on tips from ladies over on WIR.  Everyone thought it was brilliant and my BFF said it really came in handy!

Don't know the girlfriend well enough to do the whole package I did for my BFF.  But she does plan to BF, I know because MIL was inquiring if I still had my pump.  I'm going to add in some breastfeeding tools like nipple pads.  I know from experience that stuff adds up! 

I also include insanely soft cotton socks.  I got two pairs at my baby shower and thought it was weird. .. till I took them with me to the hospital.  I lived in them till I was discharged, they were so freaking comfortable!

[imawino]

OH!  Another baby shower question.  I have heard of doing "diaper raffles", whereby the guests are encouraged to bring a pack of diapers to be entered into a raffle for a prize.  Are these common?  Is this sort of blatant grab at an additional shower gift considered horrible or are people generally fine with buying a pack of diapers for a friend/relative?  And if you've ever been to a shower where they had one, what was the raffle prize?

[Deleted]

We do registry for the shower (or gift cards to the place they are registered if we are lazy) and cash at the wedding.

If they register for it, they must want it. And if they change their mind and don't at least it is to a store they can return/exchange it.

But I am the guy that when I have to buy gifts for people ask them point blank: what do you want?

I hate the whole guessing and trying to pick the right gift part. I rather get you exactly what you want from the get go.

[Chocolate Lover]

Diaper game I got subjected to recently was baby food in diapers. Still nasty.  

I'm also younger than the original complainer (Blonde Granny? I'm too lazy to scroll back up to look ) by 30 years so not an age thing at all. Just a good taste thing. 

[gooddecisions]

Shower games can be fun. I usually just make them up. Here are some I've done in the past that take minimal supplies and effort. Do them if the crowd feels right. It's also fun to take the party outside if it's a nice day. These are baby-related, but it would be easy to turn it around into wedding related. Just think of fun activities and put a twist on it- use them for co-rec showers as well. Beats sitting around staring at each other.

• Truth or dare musical chairs (no music or chairs required, but a big circle of party people is, we'll use paper plates to mark the spots and whoever is in the middle has to recite a nursery rhyme/kids song for the dare or tell a secret about their childhood for the truth)
• Trivia line races- family feud style. Teams line up in rows and the first person in each row buzzes in against each other to answer baby trivia questions. Person in the front can use their family to help answer the question. The first person who gets the answer right cycles to the back and the first row that completes the cycle wins.
• Duck, duck goose (mother/father to be) sit in the middle and whoever has to run gives them advice once seated again)
• Boat races (no alcohol or cups required- this one uses balloons, sitting in boat race rows, the first person blows up a balloon and stuff it under their shirt and pop it before the next person can blow theirs up- team who gets to the end first, wins)
• Body search (with teams)- baby words, folks have to find an item that starts with each of the letters of "pacifier"
• Hot potato using a beach ball, I have to recall the details of this one.
  
• Father to be and mother to be baby challenge. Set up a stations and provide a baby doll to each. Stations include swaddling, bottle feeding, burping, change clothes, changing diapers, etc. A volunteer panel will judge the "winner" of each category. Provide a trophy and certify each ready to be parents (regardless of how they did). Take video!

[NomoreDramaQ1015]

My BFF had a diaper raffle.  It is a good way to get free diapers, she had a ton stacked by the door.  I don't remember what the prize was.

I've given diapers as a gift and recieved them as gifts.  I think it's great, especially if I get a variety of sizes so I can have a nice stockpile.

It's not as cute as yet another impractical baby outfit, but it's something that will be used and definetly appreciated at the time of use.

Any diapers you don't open L& wards/pediatrician's offices/women's shelters love to get what you can't use.

[Deleted]

At my age I don't get invited to a lot of weddings or bridal showers but I do get the baby shower invites from my friends' grown children.  My stock gift is a care package of infant healthcare items like thermometers, dosing spoons, nasal syringes and a good book on baby care like the one put out by the American Academy of Pediatrics.  That may seem a little grim but it's pretty darn handy when the baby spikes a fever at 2 a.m. and both grandmom and the pediatrician are unavailable, especially for first-time parents.

[midjd]

I saw a baby shower idea where you open a pack of diapers and all the guests write funny sayings on the butts with Sharpies. (Like "Ha ha, clean my poop!") They're supposed to be "Late Night Diapers" to put a smile on your face when you are up at 3am and running on no sleep. I thought it was kind of cute, especially compared to the normal baby shower games.

[Chocolate Lover]

Jun 12, 2013 15:57:14 GMT -5 midjd said:

I saw a baby shower idea where you open a pack of diapers and all the guests write funny sayings on the butts with Sharpies. (Like "Ha ha, clean my poop!") They're supposed to be "Late Night Diapers" to put a smile on your face when you are up at 3am and running on no sleep. I thought it was kind of cute, especially compared to the normal baby shower games.

Did that at my sister's baby shower, much preferred to the "guess what's in the diaper" game.

[kittensaver]

I've been to several baby showers in the past few years that had a "bring a box of diapers, get a raffle ticket" invitation included. They are becoming more common here, and I think it's a great idea to help out the new parents. I even attended one shower that had TWO raffles - one ticket for bringing a box of diapers and another for bringing a tub of baby wipes. The raffle prizes have varied - I've seen fruit baskets, chocolate baskets, powder room baskets (nice soaps and luxury hand towels), nice bottles of wine, gift certificates to restaurants or Starbucks, tickets to local events - basically, things that would qualify as nice or higher-end "hostess gifts."  

[Deleted]

IMO...
Bridal shower should be from registry.
Wedding gift should be cash/check

My baby shower was co-Ed (and I was a few weeks shy of 40 at the time! ). There was plenty of alcohol and the only games had to be played by the boys. They did a race of sorts...in teams,,,diapering one of them, the other two carrying across the yard, then guzzling beer from a baby bottle and then back again. Also did the blindfolded "guess what flavor baby food this is", but it was kinda gross, so I wouldn't recommend.

For a baby shower, I'd suggest gifts of diapers in different sizes (not all newborn or size 1). Maybe assign a size to each guest? We went through the newborn size very quickly....heck, shes not even 2 months and has to be in 3-6 mo clothes alrready!

[Miss Tequila]

Jun 12, 2013 15:57:14 GMT -5 midjd said:

I saw a baby shower idea where you open a pack of diapers and all the guests write funny sayings on the butts with Sharpies. (Like "Ha ha, clean my poop!") They're supposed to be "Late Night Diapers" to put a smile on your face when you are up at 3am and running on no sleep. I thought it was kind of cute, especially compared to the normal baby shower games.

I LOVE that!

[973beachbum]

Some of this may be regional or cultural.  My family, ethnicity, thinks it's crass and thoughtless to give cash as a present.  So when we have weddings, you can tell who brought the presents.   A couple of inlaws have the tradition that any gift that isn't crass at a wedding, is cash.   

So I have always given a gift for the showers and weddings.  Normally I pick off the registry for the shower and go rogue for the wedding.  I would probably look at the registry if I didn't know them well but I really don't like weddings so it probably isn't going to happen.  I have broken down and started giving cash for the grand neices and nephews.  I'm just getting to old and tired to try and find what anyone wants and lugging it up there.

For babies I try to come up with something practial and something cute.  When I was younger I gave my first time mom friends a diaper bag filled with little things you need but might not think about.  It used to have things like electrical outlet covers, drawer lock things, nail clippers, thermometers and baby tylenol plus other things I'm forgetting.   The people acted like it was the best gift ever.  Who knows maybe they thought it was stupid and just acted thrilled.

I have never seen the games before.  I have seen lots of booze at both bridal and baby showers though.

[Cookies Galore]

Shower is for gifts and the wedding is for cash, but I wouldn't scoff at getting something that was left on the registry, especially if it is something we really want (because we will buy it after the wedding with the completion discount, anyway)! I'm crossing our fingers for the luggage we want, since we're going to Aruba in March. It's on the list of things we will buy ourselves, regardless.

I had my first bridal shower a couple of weeks ago (sigh... yes, I said first), and DF's family wins the award for not looking at the registry. DF's Mom and her sisters wanted to get me something "big." Um, the luggage on the registry would have been nice. But they had to get me something I wanted that wasn't on the registry. I'm under the impression that a bridal shower is for wedding presents, not birthday presents. It's not about what I want, it's what we want. Anyway, I told DF that a gift card for new bedroom furniture would be nice, and made sure he told his Mom the stores in the area that we like. I got a wad of cash, which means I'm more likely to leave it in savings than actually purchase a new bed frame. Two of DF's cousins got me a Victoria's Secret gift card; one of his sisters got all arts and crafty and made me something to hang my necklaces on (she saw the corkboard I already use), and I'm pretty sure his other sister went to Ross that morning and bought some ugly ass iced tea glasses.

My favorite is when a couple of months ago his one aunt encouraged us to up the thread count on some sheets we registered for. So of course when I see that one of the sets of sheets we want was purchased, I assumed she bought them. No! One of my stepmom's friends did!

As far as games go, talking amongst yourselves and drinking is a fine game.

[Cookies Galore]

Jun 12, 2013 16:49:30 GMT -5 973beachbum said:

For babies I try to come up with something practial and something cute.  When I was younger I gave my first time mom friends a diaper bag filled with little things you need but might not think about.  It used to have things like electrical outlet covers, drawer lock things, nail clippers, thermometers and baby tylenol plus other things I'm forgetting.   The people acted like it was the best gift ever.  Who knows maybe they thought it was stupid and just acted thrilled.

It usually is the little things that people get excited over. I only registered for one oven mitt, and I was so excited that I got two! As the gift giver said, "You have two hands." Absolutely I am excited about the expensive stuff, but it's the little every day things that I always neglect to buy for myself that much appreciated.

[gooddecisions]

I went to a baby shower where they had a table set up to decorate onsies. We all sat around the craft table, chit-chatted, sipped on punch, ate snacks while decorating them. I thought it was fun and entertaining. While we decorated the host did a couple of games that were not intrusive- one was an alphabet game where we had to guess the baby related word the mom to be wrote down for each letter. The host would announce a letter if it got quiet and at the end of the shower- who ever collected the most letters won.

[plugginaway22]

Our DD just got married and the trend was definitely registry for the showers (had 2), and cash for the wedding gift!

[The Walk of the Penguin Mich]

Allow me to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Imawino and I AM kinda mean! LOL. I'm going on vacation with the mom-to-be in a couple weeks and I told her how happy I was she was going to be so fat and I could stand next to her in my bathing suit and look thinner!

It's even more fun to go bathing suit shopping with a preggo!  I went with my best friend, both of us needed new suits.  Everything she tried on looked so bad that everything that I tried on looked great.

It didn't help that when she was trying on swim suits, I was rolling on the floor laughing my ass off at her!