Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on May 21, 2013 14:17:34 GMT -5
A couple of the girls I coached were 12 and dating high school boys. Totally freaked me out. I know that a few of them were sexually active already. I'd lose my shit if my 7th grade daughter brought home her high school sophomore boyfriend. One of the parents sat there and talked about her daughter dating, and how serious their relationship was, like it was the most normal thing in the world. I managed to keep my mouth shut and I guess I did a decent job keeping my "what the hell is wrong with you" face from showing. Hopefully they're at least using protection. Can you imagine a pregnant 8th grader? That's some messed up stuff right there.Yes, I can. SIL was one. Her BF was 17. Her dad wanted the BF in jail, her mom carried them across several states to one where they could get married with parental consent.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on May 21, 2013 14:32:06 GMT -5
Yes, I can. SIL was one. Her BF was 17. Her dad wanted the BF in jail, her mom carried them across several states to one where they could get married with parental consent. still married? have we discussed this one before? Maybe in general, but no, not still married. If I recall correctly, she was divorced before she was 18.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 21, 2013 14:37:07 GMT -5
Shocker. You mean that one girl I dated when I was 15 was really really really unlikely to be my soul mate?
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on May 21, 2013 14:38:12 GMT -5
Shocker. You mean that one girl I dated when I was 15 was really really really unlikely to be my soul mate? It gets even more unlikely when said HS sweetheart (and I use the term real loosely in this case) is bi-polar and won't take his meds.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on May 21, 2013 14:41:18 GMT -5
Wow... that's like reality TV bad.
|
|
Chocolate Lover
Distinguished Associate
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 15:54:19 GMT -5
Posts: 23,200
|
Post by Chocolate Lover on May 21, 2013 14:45:45 GMT -5
It's Jerry Springer bad I tell you. I could write a book, but I'm lazy
|
|
Abby Normal
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 12:31:49 GMT -5
Posts: 3,501
|
Post by Abby Normal on May 23, 2013 12:07:29 GMT -5
|
|
souldoubt
Senior Member
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 11:57:14 GMT -5
Posts: 2,756
|
Post by souldoubt on May 23, 2013 12:24:45 GMT -5
When I was in middle school most people that "dated" did so with someone in their own grade. High school was obviously a lot different but I never heard of anyone when we were in 9th or 10th grade dating a middle schooler. If I have a daughter some day and she came home telling me that while in 7th/8th grade she's dating someone 2 years older who is in high school I'd have to put an end to that. I just think being at different schools and knowing how different middle school and high school were it's not a good thing and makes me question the older one in the relationship. My first girl friend was two grades behind me and it was never uncommon for girls to date someone 1-2 years older than them and some freshman even dated seniors. I feel pity for anyone who ends up being a registered sex offender because of a consensual relationship they had with someone younger than them while in high school.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:29:27 GMT -5
Me too.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 12:44:28 GMT -5
But once again we have a massive double standard on this board. If you are a teenager who wants to consent to have sex it's your right to decide when you are ready (never mind what your parents who are actually supporting your ass think...) UNLESS that person you want to have sex with is (fill in the blank 5 years, 10 years) older than you, then you obviously don't know what you are doing and are clearly being manipulated. I known a few 15 yo girls who knew EXACTLY what they were getting out of the relationship with a much older man. Who's manipulating whom here? Either you are a child or you are not, either you can give consent or not. And, despite the claims of some here - 90%+ of the people I knew were NOT sexually active before HS graduation. I guess this averages out the numbers some others have posted here. Despite our increasingly permissive society, nationally more than half of our students still manage to wait until they are mature enough to fully understand all the ramifiations. www.mchb.hrsa.gov/chusa10/hstat/hsa/pages/215sa.html
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:48:33 GMT -5
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on May 23, 2013 12:50:25 GMT -5
But once again we have a massive double standard on this board. If you are a teenager who wants to consent to have sex it's your right to decide when you are ready (never mind what your parents who are actually supporting your ass think...) UNLESS that person you want to have sex with is (fill in the blank 5 years, 10 years) older than you, then you obviously don't know what you are doing and are clearly being manipulated. I known a few 15 yo girls who knew EXACTLY what they were getting out of the relationship with a much older man. Who's manipulating whom here? Either you are a child or you are not, either you can give consent or not. And, despite the claims of some here - 90%+ of the people I knew were NOT sexually active before HS graduation. I guess this averages out the numbers some others have posted here. Despite our increasingly permissive society, nationally more than half of our students still manage to wait until they are mature enough to fully understand all the ramifiations.
www.mchb.hrsa.gov/chusa10/hstat/hsa/pages/215sa.htmlErm, judgemental much? How do you decide students are mature enough? Also, I was the one that said most of the kids I knew had sex before graduation. You can go ahead and call me out by name or quote me, no big. For the record, I said most of the kids I knew. My high school class had over 700 people, no doubt I didn't know all of them or their sexual history.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 12:52:19 GMT -5
|
|
Queen of Interesting Nuts
Familiar Member
"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
Joined: Feb 14, 2013 11:05:35 GMT -5
Posts: 700
|
Post by Queen of Interesting Nuts on May 23, 2013 12:53:16 GMT -5
I just saw somewhere that the girl is 14.
|
|
Abby Normal
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 12:31:49 GMT -5
Posts: 3,501
|
Post by Abby Normal on May 23, 2013 12:54:26 GMT -5
Apparently, they just need to change the rules to be that when you turn 18- you are automatically graduated- so we can keep all the youngin's safe. Or you can only date people within your own grade.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 13:01:21 GMT -5
Maybe that is why they have lowered the kindergarten age so much - so most kids will be 17 when they graduate and they won't have to deal with this as much.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 13:24:10 GMT -5
I guess this averages out the numbers some others have posted here. Despite our increasingly permissive society, nationally more than half of our students still manage to wait until they are mature enough to fully understand all the ramifiations.
www.mchb.hrsa.gov/chusa10/hstat/hsa/pages/215sa.htmlErm, judgemental much? How do you decide students are mature enough? Also, I was the one that said most of the kids I knew had sex before graduation. You can go ahead and call me out by name or quote me, no big. For the record, I said most of the kids I knew. My high school class had over 700 people, no doubt I didn't know all of them or their sexual history. Actually what you said was "Probably 80% of the kids I knew in high school had sex before they graduated." I honestly was not trying to call anyone out but thought that was unrealistically high. (I was too lazy to go back and look the first time). I was trying to reconcile that with the fact that almost all of the kids I knew did not have sex. The national stats seem to say our averages come kinda close to the national averages. The undeniable fact is that a vast majority of HS relationships don't last and that a majority of teenage pregnancies result in a child without the father involved in their life. That speaks to me of a lack of maturity surrounding the ability to form lasting relationships and take responsibility for the consequences of your actions (on both the male and females part). Call me judgemental if you'd like but those are the facts. I grew up in a culture where teenage sex was NOT acceptable and we were taught to wait for someone who thought we were worth waiting for. As a result, most of us did wait. It is possible. So yes, I do believe most teenagers are not mature enough to handle sex and there are studies that support the fact that the teenage brain is not yet fully matured. Considering all the drama kids have to deal with these days, do we really want to encourage sex to be in the mix as well?
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 13:30:11 GMT -5
Is there more drama for teens today than in years past?
|
|
8 Bit WWBG
Administrator
Your Money admin
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 8:57:29 GMT -5
Posts: 9,322
Today's Mood: Mega
|
Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 23, 2013 13:41:22 GMT -5
The part that broke my heart about this story was that the younger girl's father secretly recorded the conversation and used that against them.
It was very common for seniors to date freshmen when I was in high school. Thats at least a 4 year age difference, and a few of those girls sure looked older than 14/15. It was a huge status thing for the girl to be dating a senior. Not sure what the guy got out of it since its not like other seniors were old maids! I knew a girl who went to the senior prom all 4 years of high school!
This is at least the silver lining of not being popular with the ladies. My life is expensive enough without having to send CS to a bunch of other chicks.
|
|
midjd
Administrator
Your Money Admin
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:09:23 GMT -5
Posts: 17,720
|
Post by midjd on May 23, 2013 13:46:07 GMT -5
Considering that this thread is about a same-sex relationship, I'm not sure where teen pregnancy factors into the discussion.
I grew up in the same culture (Bible Belt). Very few people would actually admit to having had sex, but considering our teen pregnancy rate, as well as the rumors swirling around, my estimate would be closer to BSB's 80% than 50%. I remember taking a survey in 10th or 11th grade that asked about drinking, drug use, and sex. I was pretty prudish at the time so answered honestly. But if you're raised in a culture where premarital sex is right up there with murder on the "sins" list, how likely are you to answer honestly on a questionnaire?
|
|
Abby Normal
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 22, 2010 12:31:49 GMT -5
Posts: 3,501
|
Post by Abby Normal on May 23, 2013 13:46:23 GMT -5
Florida does have a Romeo and Juliet law, so I'm wondering why they are trying to force her into a plea deal. But I guess the 15 year olds parents are saying it isn't consensual- even through the 15 yo said it was.
I think it's sad that she's been kicked off the team and expelled.
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on May 23, 2013 13:51:44 GMT -5
Wondering if FL's romeo and juliet law is written as to allow for same-sex relationships.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 14:01:03 GMT -5
I remember lying about having sex. I wonder if my friends count me as part of the "had not" crowd.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 14:09:28 GMT -5
"Considering that this thread is about a same-sex relationship, I'm not sure where teen pregnancy factors into the discussion."
We were discussing whether or not teenagers were mature enough to engage in sex. The reactions to the results of such actions I think speak for themselves. "I grew up in the same culture (Bible Belt). Very few people would actually admit to having had sex, but considering our teen pregnancy rate, as well as the rumors swirling around, my estimate would be closer to BSB's 80% than 50%.
I remember taking a survey in 10th or 11th grade that asked about drinking, drug use, and sex. I was pretty prudish at the time so answered honestly. But if you're raised in a culture where premarital sex is right up there with murder on the "sins" list, how likely are you to answer honestly on a questionnaire?"
I grew up on the south side of Chicago, definately NOT the bible belt. I'm not speaking about the results of a survey but very honest disucssions I had with my friends. During my four years in HS (over 900+ females in attendance) we had a total of less than 5 childbirths (yes, there were likely more pregnancies but the number is unknown). All of those pregnancies involved a lot of drama with two of the girls dropping out. My friends and I discussed it in great detail at the time and were pretty much in agreement that we'd much rather focus on graduating and having fun rather than dealing with the drama of sexually active relationships. There was plenty of time for that later. Like Pants I'm not going to claim to know the total stats for the whole school but am only speaking for the group of peeps I hung with. A far as premarital sex rating up there with murder on the sins list, that's not how it was taught to us. It was more of a respect your body thing and if the guy is really into you he will wait until it's right for both of you. There was also a healthy dose of enjoy you final few years before official adulthood as much as possible and don't rush into things that will make your life more complicated that it needs to be.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 14:12:31 GMT -5
Yep! And proud of it! Truth is I had an awesome group of peeps who were more interested in hanging out with each other in HS than dating guys.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 14:13:16 GMT -5
We had zero births, although I suspect my high school was a bit smaller than yours. I think we had about 2500 students total. The reason we didn't have any births wasn't because we were god-fearing, or sex was not the norm - we were all still getting it on. We just didn't tolerate teen pregnancies. Abortions, yes. Being sent away - probably. But nobody came to school visibly pregnant.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 14:14:37 GMT -5
Is there more drama for teens today than in years past? Umm lets see Facebook, Twitter, texting, viral videos, internet, Friending someone, unfriending someone... DD is 10 and already has more drama going on in her class because of technology than I ever did.
|
|
The Captain
Junior Associate
Hugs are good...
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 16:21:23 GMT -5
Posts: 8,717
Location: State of confusion
Favorite Drink: Whinnnne
|
Post by The Captain on May 23, 2013 14:18:20 GMT -5
We had zero births, although I suspect my high school was a bit smaller than yours. I think we had about 2500 students total. The reason we didn't have any births wasn't because we were god-fearing, or sex was not the norm - we were all still getting it on. We just didn't tolerate teen pregnancies. Abortions, yes. Being sent away - probably. But nobody came to school visibly pregnant.I find this incredibly sad for some reason.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,762
|
Post by thyme4change on May 23, 2013 14:27:33 GMT -5
It is nice to think that all teens would make the decision to not have sex because they can't handle the potential consequences. However, when you create a culture that would use shame to stop people from doing certain things, there are consequences to that, too. They will do other things to avoid the shame. When you remove the shame (as we seemed to have) then you different consequences, which is that kids think it is okay to have babies when they are 16.
Although I will say that I saw an article on how teen pregnancy rates continue to drop and hit a new all-time low in 2012. So, I guess that actually seeing the consequences does have a longer lasting effect than the previous shame-based method of controlling teens.
|
|
Pants
Junior Associate
Joined: Dec 27, 2010 19:26:44 GMT -5
Posts: 7,579
|
Post by Pants on May 23, 2013 14:30:48 GMT -5
We had zero births, although I suspect my high school was a bit smaller than yours. I think we had about 2500 students total. The reason we didn't have any births wasn't because we were god-fearing, or sex was not the norm - we were all still getting it on. We just didn't tolerate teen pregnancies. Abortions, yes. Being sent away - probably. But nobody came to school visibly pregnant.I find this incredibly sad for some reason. I find it sad that you had 5 births in 900 girls. We had 1500 girls (across grades) and 1 birth.
|
|