swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 16, 2013 14:56:32 GMT -5
I just saw this on FB
Post: X has cancer adn he says he will beat it.
Comment: He's a great guy and if anyone can, he can, because he's a runner and rakes health really seriously.
Yes, because healthy people don't die from cancer. Stupid ass.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 16, 2013 14:58:30 GMT -5
I bet he drinks coffee. We all know coffee causes cancer. Fitqueen told us so. You should post that back.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 16, 2013 15:00:23 GMT -5
I bet he drinks coffee. We all know coffee causes cancer. Fitqueen told us so. You should post that back. I thought coffee caused lupus? All I know is that fitqueen told me if I become obese, I'm unloveable. But she also said exercise cures cancer, so he should be good to go.
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justme
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Post by justme on May 16, 2013 15:01:00 GMT -5
My uncle ran in marathons frequently. He was dead less than a year after diagnosis. At least one Dr mentioned his great health probably kept the symptoms at bay and let the cancer progress. Stupid people would probably read that and think the solution is sitting on your ass so the symptoms show up early.
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swamp
Community Leader
THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 16, 2013 15:00:59 GMT -5
It's hard to think of things to say when someone is diagnosed with cancer. That comment is better than "uh-oh, he's a goner". It was a comment on a public figure. I don't think this public figure will see teh posters FB page.
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973beachbum
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Post by 973beachbum on May 16, 2013 15:01:31 GMT -5
I have probably made dumber comments. I just never know what to say, so when I try it normally comes out sounding stupid even to me. online I won't post on those things most of the time. It always seems like I should though.
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on May 16, 2013 15:01:53 GMT -5
I thought coffee caused cancer too? Or is that the sugar you put into your coffee?
I'll be back I have to consult a chiropracter or my veternarian.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 16, 2013 15:05:25 GMT -5
I thought coffee caused cancer too? Or is that the sugar you put into your coffee? I'll be back I have to consult a chiropracter or my veternarian. Or AtlanticCoastofFloridaPaul.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2013 15:06:48 GMT -5
I hate using war metaphors for cancer. Basically it blames the victim if they die because they didn't "fight" hard enough.
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swamp
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THEY’RE EATING THE DOGS!!!!!!!
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Post by swamp on May 16, 2013 15:08:12 GMT -5
I hate using war metaphors for cancer. Basically it blames the victim if they die because they didn't "fight" hard enough. I always like the people who say that you didn't think positively enough. Yes, positive thoughts are all you need.
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souldoubt
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Post by souldoubt on May 16, 2013 15:08:47 GMT -5
Public figure or not it's just someone's way of trying to be positive. Don't see anything wrong with it.
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Chocolate Lover
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Post by Chocolate Lover on May 16, 2013 15:10:01 GMT -5
My uncle ran in marathons frequently. He was dead less than a year after diagnosis. At least one Dr mentioned his great health probably kept the symptoms at bay and let the cancer progress. Stupid people would probably read that and think the solution is sitting on your ass so the symptoms show up early. You mean it won't ? And here I thought I'd found the perfect justification for my laziness after all these years!
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giramomma
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Post by giramomma on May 16, 2013 15:22:30 GMT -5
I thought coffee caused cancer too? Or is that the sugar you put into your coffee? I'll be back I have to consult a chiropracter or my veternarian. Actually, it's the sugar. Cancer patients are supposed to stay away from sugar. But, having good chocolate is OK. I think b/c of the antioxidents. No need to consult the chiropractor.
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HoneyBBQ
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Post by HoneyBBQ on May 16, 2013 15:25:27 GMT -5
It's hard to think of things to say when someone is diagnosed with cancer. That comment is better than "uh-oh, he's a goner". This is true. It's never easy to express positive thoughts or what-not... at least for me. But I'm an awkward and anti-social introvert.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2013 15:29:38 GMT -5
A good reply is, wow, that sucks. How can I help?
I'm awkward in social situations to but I find that admitting it to the people involved goes a long way towards them forgiving me for my blunders.
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Spellbound454
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"In the end, we remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends"
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Post by Spellbound454 on May 16, 2013 15:35:00 GMT -5
My ex went to see his terminally ill mate (lung cancer) with the hope of cheering him up by taking him fishing. Heart was in the right place I suppose......but On the way out he said, " OK..I'll go and get you a fishing license...Do you want a full year or will 6 months do?" Oh dear... Talk about putting your foot in it. RIP.. he was a great bloke
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on May 16, 2013 15:43:57 GMT -5
My father died of cancer. A lot of the treatments at the time took a lot out of him and he might have weathered them better if he had been in better shape. Some of the most promising treatments at the time were just not an option because he was too frail to survive them.
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Formerly SK
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Post by Formerly SK on May 16, 2013 15:53:30 GMT -5
That is so depressing I'm speechless.
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 16, 2013 15:56:17 GMT -5
I hate using war metaphors for cancer. Basically it blames the victim if they die because they didn't "fight" hard enough. Does this mean you think wars are won based on who fought harder?
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happyhoix
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Post by happyhoix on May 16, 2013 16:00:02 GMT -5
I had an officemate who was a tri-athelete. Got up at four every morning to work out prior to work, left work everyday to go for a bike ride or run. Was fastidious about her diet, in excellent shape.
She was misdiagnosed with the wrong type of lymphoma - they treated her for six months. Then they figured out she had a different type, but it was too late, she was dead within a month, less than a year after the initial diagnosis.
Being healthy, being positive - none of that is a guarantee you will beat cancer.
Best to stick with "I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do."
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hoops902
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Post by hoops902 on May 16, 2013 16:06:19 GMT -5
::Best to stick with "I'm so sorry, is there anything I can do." ::
I always go with "You should watch Breaking Bad and get back to me, I know where we can buy a cheap RV"
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sheilaincali
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Post by sheilaincali on May 16, 2013 16:13:09 GMT -5
The Bad- as my mom was going through Chemo for Breast cancer this girl I graduated with (who was married to my dad's business partner's son) told my mom that her tooth paste brand gave her cancer and if she'd just switch to whatever nutjob brand that L was selling than my mom wouldn't need chemo and her cancer would clear up. Yup- tooth paste the great cancer cure. She approached my mom with her theories at a Relay for Life Fundraiser The Good (?) - my husband's dear friend who was a father figure to him was a very outspoken gay man. He (the friend, not my husband) would for ever point out the irony of a gay man dying from rectal cancer. He had a very inappropriate sense of humor but it kept him in good spirits until the end.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on May 16, 2013 16:16:23 GMT -5
It's hard to think of things to say when someone is diagnosed with cancer. That comment is better than "uh-oh, he's a goner". I have tried practicing my standard stock answer so when people tell me about the shit in their life I don't say something stupid like "Better you than me" or whatever my insensitive brain comes up with. I thought I was doing pretty well until my daughter's kindergarten teacher told us she had breast cancer. I was so stunned all I did was stare at her boobs. I was hoping that when I grew up I would be cool and be able to say at least a neutral thing, even better if I could say the right thing. But no, I'm still a bumbling idiot. I guess that is my cross to bear.
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Post by The Walk of the Penguin Mich on May 16, 2013 16:33:58 GMT -5
I was at the hospital, watching a friend die from a graft vs host response from a bone marrow transplant she was attempting because of her cancer. My friend had 2 young sons and an infant daughter that was about 6 months old (the reason why she waited so long for treatment).
The minister said to her husband "God needs her in heaven, she needs to let go". I opened my mouth to say "don't you think her children need her a little more?", but realized that my point would be missed so I turned around and walked into the ladies room and kicked the door.
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Tennesseer
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Post by Tennesseer on May 16, 2013 16:45:17 GMT -5
I was at the hospital, watching a friend die from a graft vs host response from a bone marrow transplant she was attempting because of her cancer. My friend had 2 young sons and an infant daughter that was about 6 months old (the reason why she waited so long for treatment). The minister said to her husband "God needs her in heaven, she needs to let go". I opened my mouth to say "don't you think her children need her a little more?", but realized that my point would be missed so I turned around and walked into the ladies room and kicked the door. Much like the expression '(S)he is in a better place.'. No. A better place would be here with us and in good heath.
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8 Bit WWBG
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Post by 8 Bit WWBG on May 16, 2013 16:59:12 GMT -5
...:::"Yes, positive thoughts are all you need.":::...
If I ever have the opportunity, I'll say something like: "Positive thinking is the difference between CAN-cer, and CAN'T-cer".(c) 2013 WWBG.
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mrsdutt
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Post by mrsdutt on May 16, 2013 17:45:13 GMT -5
Our son had cancer when he was 4. The doctors told us that people wouldn't know how to handle it when they saw him. They would say strange things - relatives being the biggest offenders. He was right. But him telling us that made it easier. Knowledge is power. He also said they don't mean anything bad, they just don't know how to handle it.
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Tiny
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Post by Tiny on May 16, 2013 17:49:20 GMT -5
I was at the hospital, watching a friend die from a graft vs host response from a bone marrow transplant she was attempting because of her cancer. My friend had 2 young sons and an infant daughter that was about 6 months old (the reason why she waited so long for treatment). The minister said to her husband "God needs her in heaven, she needs to let go". I opened my mouth to say "don't you think her children need her a little more?", but realized that my point would be missed so I turned around and walked into the ladies room and kicked the door. Much like the expression '(S)he is in a better place.'. No. A better place would be here with us and in good heath. I guess for the deeply religious those comments are comforting/nice - or atleast coming from someone very religious - probably meant in a comforting way. It's all about the point of view of the person saying the words (and their intent). When it comes to Big Events in life I have stopped trying to dechiper the intent behind what people say BASED on what they just said and just assume they are saying whatever they are saying with 'good intentions' even if it didn't come out quite right. Lots of people are crediting 'prayer' and 'God' with a relative's fairly good outcome with cancer treatment. I'm more like - well, I think it was nice that a family member was able to donate 'bone marrow', that the relative didn't have a bad response to the transplant, that there were doctors/nurses and a hospital where he could get treatment (for months on end)... I'm not really sure how much 'prayer' played a part - and I find it disturbing when people imply that God can be swayed by prayer or whatever(ie God plays favorites ,-- isn't that kinda evil??). I don't believe in gods so maybe I'm more sensitive to this stuff than other people. I, too, don't particularly like the "battle" and "fight" metaphors used with cancer. Yes, wanting to get well is important when you are sick. And having the fortitude/patience/"I will get thru this" attitude is important when you're physically exhausted/struggling with the pain/reactions/etc but are you truly 'fighting' the cancer - it's more like you are 'fighting to get thru the side effects of the treatment' while the treatment does what it can to the cancer. That and do you ever really 'beat' the bigger badder cancers? Even if it goes into remission you always get to live in the shadow of will it come back? or will another kind of cancer occur... not to mention living with the side effects of the treatment or the long term problems of the 'cure'. I think there needs to be a new way to talk about going thru the process of treating cancers - especially since there seems to be a spectrum of treatments and expected outcomes. ::sigh::
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Peace Of Mind
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[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
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Post by Peace Of Mind on May 16, 2013 18:04:23 GMT -5
I ran into this lady that I used to work with and she told me she was in my city to visit her younger sister who was getting lung cancer surgery/treatment. The sister was about 42 at the time. I said "Oh. I'm so sorry to hear that!" She said she wanted to write a book about how people should not act or what they should not say when hearing such news. I sarcastically said to her "You're right. Showing sadness or concern is stupid. I'll be sure to say "Yay!" next time somebody informs me they have cancer." She was a moron, but I digress. She also said that she hated it when people asked if her sister was a smoker. When told yes they'd heave a sigh of relief. That ticked her off too.
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toomuchreality
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Post by toomuchreality on May 16, 2013 18:18:15 GMT -5
When my sister was dying of cancer, a lot of people asked me how my treatment (for cancer) was going.... I didn't have cancer, just a TON of stress. Now my brother has cancer, and we found out on Good Friday, that my dad does too. If I do, I don't think I want to know. At least not as long as I feel decent. Due to my age etc., I don't think I'd get treatment. → Of course I might change my mind, if I really did. Cancer sucks, that's for sure!
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