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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 13:00:29 GMT -5
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NomoreDramaQ1015
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Post by NomoreDramaQ1015 on Apr 8, 2013 13:04:58 GMT -5
I think I am not going to pay for my kid to go to Princeton so she can get her MRS degree. ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) That being said I get what she is saying. A high powered/connected person would do well to latch him/herself to another high powered/connected person. You can go farther with more money and more clout.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 13:07:07 GMT -5
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ontrack
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Post by ontrack on Apr 8, 2013 13:16:18 GMT -5
i thought it was awful, because she pretty much told her sons that she divorced their dad because he wasn't smart enough for her. It's people like that give "elite" a bad name. She's one of the worst snobs I ever heard of; intellectually curious people don't all go to ivy league schools.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 8, 2013 13:17:26 GMT -5
She has a point on availibility. I think she's wrong or misguided on a couple of the specifics.
Here is another truth that you know, but nobody is talking about. As freshman women, you have four classes of men to choose from. Every year, you lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of incoming freshman men. So, by the time you are a senior, you basically have only the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have four classes of women to choose from. Maybe you should have been a little nicer to these guys when you were freshmen?
Now I may have a different opinion for several reasons including the fact that my XH was from my college and he was older than me. My most successfull relationship IMO was after my divorce with a man 4 years younger then me. Turns out he was quite intelligent as well. For me both men and women always have all four classes plus grad students if you find them.
Men regularly marry women who are younger, less intelligent, less educated. It’s amazing how forgiving men can be about a woman’s lack of erudition, if she is exceptionally pretty.
I wonder if she is intentionally ignoring some men have different requirements for a mate then women. That some men choose women with less in every aspect except sometimes beauty to feel more than.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 13:17:30 GMT -5
Hmmm we all talk about "networking" but it's not a dirty word.
I figure it's one of the reasons people tried to buy homes in some the "best" school districts. It's not just the quality of the education but who you meet along the way.
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Opti
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Post by Opti on Apr 8, 2013 13:21:24 GMT -5
Networking both business and personal is a big reason the Ivies do well.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 13:56:56 GMT -5
I think her world must have been pretty small if she didn't meet any men who were her "intellectual equals" in her career/life. Her superior degree must have not been utilized as well as others. I know dozens of Ivy league grads, and I live far, far away from such a superior school.
I'm not big on giving young people the advice that they need to pick a mate before they turn 22 years old. I know there are a lot of people who met their sweety in college and are still married 30 years later (both my sisters!) But I also know a lot of people who married their college sweethearts and are now dating (or on spouse #2.) Maybe the rest of us will catch up and all get divorced in the next 5 years. But, having a high level of pressure to get married very young just seems like a hard way to get started.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:05:31 GMT -5
I think her world must have been pretty small if she didn't meet any men who were her "intellectual equals" in her career/life. Her superior degree must have not been utilized as well as others. I know dozens of Ivy league grads, and I live far, far away from such a superior school. I'm not big on giving young people the advice that they need to pick a mate before they turn 22 years old. I know there are a lot of people who met their sweety in college and are still married 30 years later (both my sisters!) But I also know a lot of people who married their college sweethearts and are now dating (or on spouse #2.) Maybe the rest of us will catch up and all get divorced in the next 5 years. But, having a high level of pressure to get married very young just seems like a hard way to get started. I know that as women biology is not on our side, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell young women that they need to pop out those kids now while they're young and spry. There is a whole world out there to explore and TONS of people to encounter.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:07:50 GMT -5
Hmmm we all talk about "networking" but it's not a dirty word. I figure it's one of the reasons people tried to buy homes in some the "best" school districts. It's not just the quality of the education but who you meet along the way. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/thumbsup.png)
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Apr 8, 2013 14:08:06 GMT -5
She's been reading too much Jane Austen ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) I find this kind of business extremely obnoxious, and would not counsel my DD to work in this 18th century model. I also find this rather offensive, but there is a certain grain of truth to it. If you want a rich, intelligent husband who values education, then an Ivy league university is a good place to look for one. Two of my cousins have managed to get a much higher standard of living than mine, not by getting an education and developing a career, but by making sure they only mingled with rich or 'soon to be rich' guys. Even if they get divorced, it's unlikely that they'll end up less well off than me.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 8, 2013 14:08:13 GMT -5
I disagree with much of what she says. But there is one thing I do agree with.
She is correct in a round-about way that you'll never have the concentration of potential partners and friends that you have while in college. So I would encourage any college student to make as many friends and/or girlfriends/boyfriends in college as they can. Once you graduate and move on to "real life" you find that there is a vast difference in ages, cultures, values, family status ect. So it becomes much harder to find people like you who you might want to be friends with. Not impossible, but you have to put forth a lot of effort. In college, you have everyone about the same age and in the situation. In adult life, most of your co workers are older, married, some are divorced, others have kids, some take care of parents. All different ages and values, everyone is all over the map.
I disagree with much of the rest. Her article comes across as a bit snobbish to be honest. There are different kinds of intelligence and everyone has their strengths and weakness. Just because someone may not be as "book smart" as you doesn't mean they are dumb. Just because someone doesn't have the degrees and professional certifications doesn't means they have nothing to offer of value to your life.
So no, I don't agree with the idea that you should find a mate before you graduate from college. I think most people at 18-22 are not mature enough for marriage. And I think a lot of people who get married in college end up divorcing because they grow and mature in different ways.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:09:02 GMT -5
Its just like a woman to use a man just for his brains ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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Jaguar
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Post by Jaguar on Apr 8, 2013 14:12:14 GMT -5
I know that as women biology is not on our side, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell young women that they need to pop out those kids now while they're young and spry. There is a whole world out there to explore and TONS of people to encounter.
Hell Yeah ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:14:31 GMT -5
She's been reading too much Jane Austen ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png) I find this kind of business extremely obnoxious, and would not counsel my DD to work in this 18th century model. I also find this rather offensive, but there is a certain grain of truth to it. If you want a rich, intelligent husband who values education, then an Ivy league university is a good place to look for one. Two of my cousins have managed to get a much higher standard of living than mine, not by getting an education and developing a career, but by making sure they only mingled with rich or 'soon to be rich' guys. Even if they get divorced, it's unlikely that they'll end up less well off than me. people seem to forget that there are lots of legacy kids at Ivys (aka kids with the looks and brain capacity of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog) as well as the savvy and smart kids.
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Phoenix84
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Post by Phoenix84 on Apr 8, 2013 14:16:08 GMT -5
i thought it was awful, because she pretty much told her sons that she divorced their dad because he wasn't smart enough for her. It's people like that give "elite" a bad name. She's one of the worst snobs I ever heard of; intellectually curious people don't all go to ivy league schools. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/yeahthat.gif) The truely billiant people I know and have met are NOT snobbish about it in the least. Their intelligence just radiates naturally and they don't need to get all elite about it. The snobbish folks are the ones who are not as smart as they think they are. At least in my experience.
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milee
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Post by milee on Apr 8, 2013 14:17:49 GMT -5
As with anything, there's some truth and some BS here.
On the BS side - very tough for many people to pick a life partner when they (and the life partner) are still rapidly developing. The person you chose at 20 has a good chance to be a very different person at 40. The older the person is, the more of a track record you have to look at and you can get a better idea of who they're growing into. At 20, they may not have ever even had a full time job.
On the truth side - depending on what job you do, you may never interact with as intelligent a large pool of people again. Yes, you may run into some sharp people but they will be the exception not the norm, depending on where you work. I saw that in stark detail as an auditor and then consultant who got to look at how many, many businesses functioned. If it's important to you to have an intelligent spouse, then college (or some type of a top notch professional firm) are your best bets for a large pool of potential mates. Not sure I would have believed someone who told me that at 18, but it is very true. And as someone who does love me some nerd, that would have been very important to me. (I think there's something wrong with me, but I am not at all physically attracted to people who I perceive as dumb. Ashton Kutcher and Keanu Reeves may cause some women to breathe faster, but I wouldn't be at all attracted to someone who I worried was less intelligent than my dog.)
But I had great fun with the article because one of my dearest friends is a Princeton alum married to another Princeton alum, so we've been discussing it for days.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 14:18:06 GMT -5
Legacy kids are good too - maybe they have a trust fund, or good connections. Even if they are box-of-rocks dumb, they will probably still get a job.[/span]
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formerroomate99
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Post by formerroomate99 on Apr 8, 2013 14:21:13 GMT -5
I also find this rather offensive, but there is a certain grain of truth to it. If you want a rich, intelligent husband who values education, then an Ivy league university is a good place to look for one. Two of my cousins have managed to get a much higher standard of living than mine, not by getting an education and developing a career, but by making sure they only mingled with rich or 'soon to be rich' guys. Even if they get divorced, it's unlikely that they'll end up less well off than me. people seem to forget that there are lots of legacy kids at Ivys (aka kids with the looks and brain capacity of an Abercrombie & Fitch catalog) as well as the savvy and smart kids. I just wonder how many of those legacy kids are dumb, though. In any case, if money and connections are what you're after, then even a stupid ivy league grad would fit the bill.
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 8, 2013 14:21:14 GMT -5
George w bush is a legacy. No way would he have gottten into Yale or the jobs he did without those connections.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 14:24:50 GMT -5
He might have been a dumb president, but he was a pretty bright guy (compared to the national average.) I agree he would not have accomplished near as much had he been born into another family. He did not have what it takes to get into Yale as a non-legacy.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:25:02 GMT -5
Legacy kids are good too - maybe they have a trust fund, or good connections. Even if they are box-of-rocks dumb, they will probably still get a job. [/span][/quote] I thought legacy kids were not good? aren't those the ones that return from school to an empty home because his or her parent or parents are away at work, or a child who is often left at home with little or no parental supervision? The effects can differ with age. Loneliness, boredom and fear are most common for those younger than 10 years of age. In the early teens, there is a greater susceptibility to peer pressure, potentially resulting in such behaviors as alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sexual promiscuity and smoking. The behaviors might stem from "unspent energy, peer pressure to misbehave, or hostility because of the lack of appropriate adult attention
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swamp
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Post by swamp on Apr 8, 2013 14:26:31 GMT -5
That's a latchkey not a legacy.
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 14:26:47 GMT -5
If you are looking for a wealthy life and have to choose between a dumb-legacy kid and a dumb guy who comes from an average family - take the dumb legacy kid.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:27:57 GMT -5
That's a latchkey not a legacy. tomato, tamatah, vodka ![](http://images.proboards.com/new/tongue.png)
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 14:29:37 GMT -5
Rukh - I didn't either. I thought it was just because I didn't read it very carefully.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:30:21 GMT -5
If you are looking for a wealthy life and have to choose between a dumb-legacy kid and a dumb guy who comes from an average family - take the dumb legacy kid. well you could choose a smart guy from an average family.... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:35:04 GMT -5
If you are looking for a wealthy life and have to choose between a dumb-legacy kid and a dumb guy who comes from an average family - take the dumb legacy kid. well you could choose a smart guy from an average family.... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) Smarts aint everything. The important stuff is can the guy dance. Fo'shizzle. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/thumbsup.png)
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Post by Deleted on Apr 8, 2013 14:35:27 GMT -5
If you are looking for a wealthy life and have to choose between a dumb-legacy kid and a dumb guy who comes from an average family - take the dumb legacy kid. well you could choose a smart guy from an average family.... ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/idunno.gif) Smarts aint everything. The important stuff is can the guy dance. Fo'shizzle. ![](http://syonidv.hodginsmedia.com/vsmileys/thumbsup.png)
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thyme4change
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Post by thyme4change on Apr 8, 2013 14:36:28 GMT -5
The smart guy from the average family might end up in the same place as the dumb guy from the connected family.
Also, it is rare that a gal is sitting there entertaining multiple marriage offers and just has to pick the right one from a catalog. I guess you have to start by saying she should only date guys with a certain level of intelligence. Unfortunately, at 19 years old, you might be easily fooled into thinking some smart guys are dumb and some dumb guys are smart.
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