herekittykitty
Established Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:17:25 GMT -5
Posts: 319
|
Post by herekittykitty on Feb 21, 2013 13:22:31 GMT -5
Anyone feeling left out by the kids thread? Just kidding, but seriously, does anyone else without kids feel like sometimes the world treats you entirely differently? Like you cannot possibly feel real love unless you have children (I don't know, I would protect my nephews with my life!), like you have no life because you don't have kids, or like you can't possibly be as busy as people with children? Anyone?
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,345
|
Post by swamp on Feb 21, 2013 13:24:06 GMT -5
I'm jealous of you.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,443
|
Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 13:26:08 GMT -5
Maybe they treat you the same, but treat us morons who gave into some burning biological desire and reproduced differently.
|
|
thyme4change
Community Leader
Joined: Dec 26, 2010 13:54:08 GMT -5
Posts: 40,443
|
Post by thyme4change on Feb 21, 2013 13:26:35 GMT -5
(That sentence was put together very poorly. Sorry about that.)
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 19, 2024 3:17:13 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 13:26:38 GMT -5
You can have mine! I had my first at 35, so I was childless by choice for a long time. I don't think people treated me differently, but everyone I know knew I had no desire to have any kids so they didn't harp on it either. Guys were surprised to hear about a woman over 30 that had never been married or had any kids, which I though was pretty funny.
|
|
swamp
Community Leader
Don't be a fool. Call me!
Joined: Dec 19, 2010 16:03:22 GMT -5
Posts: 45,345
|
Post by swamp on Feb 21, 2013 13:27:24 GMT -5
And the first assumption was that I was a lesbian.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 19, 2024 3:17:13 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 21, 2013 13:32:35 GMT -5
How YOU doin'?
|
|
kittensaver
Junior Associate
We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love. - Mother Teresa
Joined: Nov 22, 2011 16:16:36 GMT -5
Posts: 7,983
|
Post by kittensaver on Feb 21, 2013 13:33:57 GMT -5
Married 30 years this coming summer (I was a child bride ), never had any biological kids (but I did finish raising my brother's two girls), and never got treated differently, even in a family-oriented community. Go figure.
|
|
reader79
Well-Known Member
Joined: Dec 30, 2010 8:48:07 GMT -5
Posts: 1,053
|
Post by reader79 on Feb 21, 2013 13:37:04 GMT -5
I am 33 now, and my mother asked me this weekend if I would please start to think about adopting a child. I told her I couldn't until she retires , I have no desire to be a single mother. And the nieces are right across the street if I need a fix.
|
|
herekittykitty
Established Member
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 22:17:25 GMT -5
Posts: 319
|
Post by herekittykitty on Feb 21, 2013 13:40:12 GMT -5
At my age (42!) I guess it's more from my SIL (mom to my amazing nephews)...yes, her DH (my brother) is an idiot, but she's known THAT for years, yes, she finally works part time now and goes to school part time, which is great, but she just acts like we have no idea what it is like to be her. I went to school full time, worked full time, and did an internship, yes without kids and an idiot DH, but I do understand what it is like to be tired! Maybe I'm annoyed because I have to make an appointment 2 months in advance to see the boys because they're so busy, then she schedules another event for them at 2 PM when they're supposed to be with us...wth?!
eta: we didn't have kids because we couldn't say that we wanted them more than anything else, so more power to the rest of you! With our schedules, I can't imagine raising kids with a DH, much less on my own. Of course, having DH with 3 boys is kind of like having 4 kids most of the time!
|
|
emhalf
Established Member
Joined: Mar 30, 2011 7:15:17 GMT -5
Posts: 362
|
Post by emhalf on Feb 21, 2013 14:05:22 GMT -5
I loooovveee having no kids. Seriously, it is awesome. I love my sleep and my (piddling) money and my furbaby
|
|
sarcasticgirl
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 14:39:51 GMT -5
Posts: 5,155
Location: Chicago
|
Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 25, 2013 15:10:22 GMT -5
I'm 32 and have never had any desire to procreate. DH wants a kid in theory but doesn't want to bring a child into this effed up world. There are a few a$$hats that give us grief "oh you couldn't possibly understand unless you had kids of your own" and one of DH's friends is always harping on how your life is never really fulfilled w/out kids and how you never really understand love and loving someone more than yourself etc. bull$hit etc. It is all insulting, rude and just plain ignorant. I also get highly annoyed and those with kids who say to us "oh well, that must be nice!" sarcastically- in reference to making last minute plans and taking trips etc. Yeah- jerkoff- it IS nice, which is why I chose not to have kids. You chose to have kids and I assumed you weighed the pros and cons and decided that having kids is more fulfilling to you than being able to go to dinner without having to find a sitter etc. I should add- my friends and family who have known me and my intentions don't make any comments to me. Most agree that if you don't want kids- you should not have them. But DH's friends/family they have no qualms about making comments. I find it positively infuriating. I means- what if we secretly wanted kids but couldn't? do you think all that badgering would help?!?! (that isn't the case, but I know someone who is in that situation and she has walked away from a conversation like that, gone to the RR and cried her eyes out!)
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 25, 2013 15:11:34 GMT -5
Anyone feeling left out by the kids thread? Just kidding, but seriously, does anyone else without kids feel like sometimes the world treats you entirely differently? Like you cannot possibly feel real love unless you have children (I don't know, I would protect my nephews with my life!), like you have no life because you don't have kids, or like you can't possibly be as busy as people with children? Anyone? Oh yeah. Especially my family. "Ky doesn't have kids. She has time to (insert whatever needs doing here)."
|
|
sarcasticgirl
Junior Associate
Joined: Jan 4, 2011 14:39:51 GMT -5
Posts: 5,155
Location: Chicago
|
Post by sarcasticgirl on Feb 25, 2013 15:25:39 GMT -5
I loooovveee having no kids. Seriously, it is awesome. I love my sleep and my (piddling) money and my furbaby [img src="
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Feb 25, 2013 15:39:50 GMT -5
I loooovveee having no kids. Seriously, it is awesome. I love my sleep and my (piddling) money and my furbaby Exactly!! I wouldn't trade our life for anything and just add "furbabies" and that is us. DH thanks me constantly or when we watch a movie/show with brat kids I look at him and say "You SO owe me for not wanting kids!". He hugs and kisses me because we are both pretty sure we'd have had brat kids too.
|
|
Malarky
Junior Associate
Truth and snark are equal opportunity here.
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 21:00:51 GMT -5
Posts: 5,313
|
Post by Malarky on Feb 25, 2013 16:22:23 GMT -5
I'm jealous. I'm just waiting for the cats to die and the kids to move out. Settle down! I was kidding.
|
|
constanz22
Senior Member
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 14:32:17 GMT -5
Posts: 4,219
|
Post by constanz22 on Feb 25, 2013 16:55:59 GMT -5
Woohoo! Thanks for the thread! I was starting ti feel like all of the "kid" threads needed their own sub-heading, like YM, WIR, etc. 43 here, single, no kids, no longer a possibility. Just 2 fur babies!
|
|
Saving4Norway
Well-Known Member
Joined: Jan 1, 2011 18:27:56 GMT -5
Posts: 1,383
|
Post by Saving4Norway on Feb 25, 2013 23:45:23 GMT -5
Three cheers for DINKS!! The friends/family who know us don't say anything anymore. At first it was joking harassment and we knew they meant no harm. Now it's not ever brought up by them, probably for fear that they'd have to admit that we're the smart ones. To people we don't know that make the stupid comments, I like to say "We're not ABLE to have children." Then make the chin quiver, blink alot, turn away, and pretend to wipe tears before turning back. That usually makes them feel like crap. Mission accomplished. I don't feel too bad because ever since DH's vas, we really CAN'T have kids. It's not like I'm lying, I'm just adding a touch of drama to the truth.
|
|
Peace Of Mind
Senior Associate
[font color="#8f2520"]~ Drinks Well With Others ~[/font]
Joined: Dec 17, 2010 16:53:02 GMT -5
Posts: 15,554
Location: Paradise
|
Post by Peace Of Mind on Feb 26, 2013 0:16:56 GMT -5
Norway, that is hilarious!! Most of my friends whisper to me that I'm the smart one out of the bunch after they've had a few. I just nod in agreement.
|
|
trytofindbalance
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 14:39:17 GMT -5
Posts: 683
|
Post by trytofindbalance on Feb 27, 2013 16:47:03 GMT -5
No kids for me and DH. We wanted a family so badly, but unfortunately, found out I could not have kids. We made our peace with the situation and are happier than ever. No kids works just great for us. I've become a little more selfish with my time and enjoy doing what I want to do when I want to do it. Plus DH felt so bad about my inability to have kids that he surprised me with a horse (my lifelong passion). Smart man...gave me something to love in a maternal way and also keeps me out of his hair on the weekends Oh and yes, people can be quite rude. I get asked all the time about our plans to have children. For some reason people who barely know me think it's ok to ask. They usually shut it when I tell them I can't have them.
|
|
trytofindbalance
Familiar Member
Joined: Mar 29, 2011 14:39:17 GMT -5
Posts: 683
|
Post by trytofindbalance on Feb 27, 2013 16:50:29 GMT -5
A couple that we're friends with just had their first baby. Mom is 39 and Dad is 43...it's been quite an adjustment for them. They were very, very social and the new addition has put quite the cramp in their style. I know they love her more than anything, but their marriage almost didn't survive the first 5 months. When I hear the baby screaming in the background and can't help but think that maybe I'm the lucky one after all.
|
|
Sum Dum Gai
Senior Associate
Joined: Aug 15, 2011 15:39:24 GMT -5
Posts: 19,892
|
Post by Sum Dum Gai on Feb 27, 2013 17:18:42 GMT -5
I just have to outlive one cat and one dog, and get the kids out of the house. The kids still have 6 years, the cat is already 8 or 9 so will probably go before the kids do. Dog is only 1 though. We didn't plan that very well. Oh well, I'll be a happy child free guy at some point.
|
|
Deleted
Joined: May 19, 2024 3:17:13 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 27, 2013 21:37:37 GMT -5
"one of DH's friends is always harping on how your life is never really fulfilled w/out kids and how you never really understand love and loving someone more than yourself etc. bull$hit etc. "
My life would not be fulfilled without my son (even though i have my furbabies that i absolutely live-2 dogs and cat). But that is ME! I would not say that to somebody else because everybody has different opinions. Some people just love to push their ideas on others.
|
|
simser
Familiar Member
Joined: Jan 29, 2011 15:54:04 GMT -5
Posts: 798
|
Post by simser on Feb 27, 2013 22:36:58 GMT -5
I'm one of the infertile ones who always wanted kids and hates going to the gyno because the waiting room is torture with the pregnant ladies...
Although the one bright spot is seeing the look on people's faces when they start in on how children are the best thing ever and I should have one. I start recounting giving myself shots and having pelvic ultrasounds on a daily basis. They turn green...
I'm better with it now (for the record) since I divorced my ex. And I don't have to deal with him since we have no kids.
|
|
HappyCat
Familiar Member
Smiling's my FAVORITE!!
Joined: Jan 15, 2011 21:26:20 GMT -5
Posts: 657
|
Post by HappyCat on Feb 28, 2013 1:59:29 GMT -5
I was young when I had my daughters...20 and 22. Everyone gave me a world of SH%% for having kids so young. It was hard but we got through it. I had empty nest at 41 and my girls are now 23 and 25...now everyone gives me SH%% because I don't have to rush home to little kids or I don't "remember" what it's like. (I'm 46 NOT stupid!) I've been on both sides of this fence and a lot of people are just jerks regardless of where you stand!
|
|
Jaguar
Administrator
Fear does not stop death. It stops life.
Joined: Dec 20, 2011 6:07:45 GMT -5
Posts: 50,108
Mini-Profile Background: {"image":"https://cdn.nickpic.host/images/IZlZ65.jpg","color":""}
Mini-Profile Text Color: 290066
|
Post by Jaguar on Feb 28, 2013 2:36:30 GMT -5
I'm 50 this year and for one fleeting two weeks back in I think 1983 or 1984 I wanted a kid. I got over it really quickly when I had to baby sit a 1 year old for three weeks, all by myself. I have a ton of nieces and nephews and I'm happy being both single and childless.
|
|
Wisconsin Beth
Distinguished Associate
No, we don't walk away. But when we're holding on to something precious, we run.
Joined: Dec 20, 2010 11:59:36 GMT -5
Posts: 30,626
|
Post by Wisconsin Beth on Feb 28, 2013 8:28:21 GMT -5
I miss sleep. A lot. I was 37 when the we had DD and 39 when we had DS. Both accidents. We were told we'd BOTH need medical help to have kids. Needless to say, we don't see those doctors anymore.... But I really miss sleeping past 730 on weekends.
|
|
Green Eyed Lady
Senior Associate
Look inna eye! Always look inna eye!
Joined: Jan 23, 2012 11:23:55 GMT -5
Posts: 19,629
|
Post by Green Eyed Lady on Feb 28, 2013 10:37:59 GMT -5
I can't have kids either. Sometimes, it makes me really sad. Then I go to a family oriented restaurant....
|
|
❤ mollymouser ❤
Senior Associate
Sarcasm is my Superpower
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Dec 18, 2010 16:09:58 GMT -5
Posts: 12,858
Today's Mood: Gen X ... so I'm sarcastic and annoyed
Location: Central California
Favorite Drink: Diet Mountain Dew
|
Post by ❤ mollymouser ❤ on Feb 28, 2013 14:46:05 GMT -5
No children here. No nieces/nephews in our life, either. We don't babysit. We don't work with youth groups. We're just not "kid people." We do, however, have a house-full of indoor-only rescued kitty cats. Well, I should say that "I" have a house-full of indoor-only rescued kitty cats, since they are more my idea than my wonderful DH's! (grin) No matter how high maintenance they are, we still don't have to send them to college and we can watch whatever we want on cable when they're in the room. Now that I'm late 40s, people have " finally" stopped asking when we're planning on having children. It only took 10 years of marriage and teetering on the brink of menopause to make THAT stop happening. ( Neither of us wanted children, so my wonderful DH got a vasectomy right after we got engaged.) On occasion, I do enjoy buying presents for people with young children ~ but that's more of a reflection of my love of shopping than my love of children.
|
|
Works4me
Senior Member
Someone responded to your personal ad - a German Shepherd named Tara wants to have you for dinner...
Joined: May 5, 2012 12:11:37 GMT -5
Posts: 2,522
|
Post by Works4me on Mar 2, 2013 20:43:38 GMT -5
I always wanted children, always planned to have them but never did.
I was married for 5 years in my early 20's, divorced and never remarried - never met the right person at the right time. I have been blessed to be part of the lives of my friends' children as Auntie and such, but never wanted to purposely set out to have one on my own. Panicked as bit around 40 and felt a biological urge but was never in the position to have them. Being diagnosed with lupus and undergoing chemo for that at 42 ended any chance of children and I have made peace with that fact.
Now at 51, I am hoping for grandchildren.
|
|