The "NO KIDS" Thread

[chiver78]

Feb 27, 2013 16:50:29 GMT -5 trytofindbalance said:

A couple that we're friends with just had their first baby.  Mom is 39 and Dad is 43...it's been quite an adjustment for them.  They were very, very social and the new addition has put quite the cramp in their style.  I know they love her more than anything, but their marriage almost didn't survive the first 5 months.  When I hear the baby screaming in the background and can't help but think that maybe I'm the lucky one after all.

this post totally jumped out at me......let me explain. I just got back from a cruise where, VERY long story short, I may have a potential love interest - a local guy that I've been friends with for years. nothing to tell, yet. anyway, at one point this week, he cracked "we're not getting any younger, yanno...." and at 34 (me) and 39 (him, this week) I'd have to agree. with both of us being very social, I can't imagine if we did get together and have kids.

[❤ mollymouser ❤]

Chiver, my mom didn't have me until she was 35 years old!

Just sayin'

[trytofindbalance]

Mar 2, 2013 20:51:22 GMT -5 chiver78 said:

Feb 27, 2013 16:50:29 GMT -5 trytofindbalance said:

A couple that we're friends with just had their first baby.  Mom is 39 and Dad is 43...it's been quite an adjustment for them.  They were very, very social and the new addition has put quite the cramp in their style.  I know they love her more than anything, but their marriage almost didn't survive the first 5 months.  When I hear the baby screaming in the background and can't help but think that maybe I'm the lucky one after all.

this post totally jumped out at me......let me explain. I just got back from a cruise where, VERY long story short, I may have a potential love interest - a local guy that I've been friends with for years. nothing to tell, yet. anyway, at one point this week, he cracked "we're not getting any younger, yanno...." and at 34 (me) and 39 (him, this week) I'd have to agree. with both of us being very social, I can't imagine if we did get together and have kids.

I'm a big believer in doing what works for you.  I've also learned that even though I make plans for myself, a lot of times the universe has different ideas.  DH and I thougth the same thing when we met and that's why we decided to get married sooner rather than later (we were both 37 and wanted a family).  Unfortunately, we didn't find out until about a year after the wedding that we couldn't have kids...but it all worked out for the best in the end.

[skubikky]

Feb 28, 2013 1:59:29 GMT -5 HappyCat said:

I was young when I had my daughters...20 and 22. Everyone gave me a world of SH%% for having kids so young. It was hard but we got through it. I had empty nest at 41 and my girls are now 23 and 25...now everyone gives me SH%% because I don't have to rush home to little kids or I don't "remember" what it's like. (I'm 46 NOT stupid!) I've been on both sides of this fence and a lot of people are just jerks regardless of where you stand!

We had our first at 27 and 2nd at 30.  Now at 54, we're empty nesters.  I missed them when they first went to college 2004 and 2007....now, not so much.
DH and I loved raising our kids, even with all the running around and devoting most of our free time, effort, love and tears, to them.  It was worth it and instinctive.  But each season of life has benefits.   And the freedom we have now is noticeably different than the amount we had when they were here.  It's like really appreciating the weekend or days off when you work full time.

[Queen of Interesting Nuts]

I had my kids young at 19 and 21 and have been an empty nester since last year at 39. Gawd I look at these men that get with younger woman and start families all over again, or vice versa and I scream NOOOOOOOO !!!!!

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

Nope - I never caught the baby bug. We had careers, traveled, spent money (or not) when we chose and on what we chose - we could go anywhere, do anything, or accept invitations at the drop of a hat - no regrets.I have 9 nieces & nephews - And I can see them (or not) when I choose to. Most are adults themselves now, so they're more like people and less like aliens now.

[mmhmm]

My daughter and her husband never had children.  She was unable to conceive and they just weren't that keen on raising kids anyway.  My son and his wife have three, all out of high school, one married, two in college. My daughter and hubby figure they had quite enough helping to deal with son's herd!

[Elusions of Grandeur]

I wasn't planning on having kids. Then I "accidentally" got pregnant. (I was fairly certain I was impregnable, literally, although DH and I still usually protected against accidents - until one March evening with much alcohol in us.) I hated being pregnant, and the thought of being a mother to a baby* & all that entails made me almost as sick as the thought of labor and delivery did for a very long time. But I fell in love with DD instantly when she was born. I joke that she manipulated the situation so that she could be born. Regardless, I'm happy that it happened, but I can't imagine telling someone else that they just don't what it's like because they don't have kids. (Not generally speaking. I mean, sure I can imagine saying "It takes a parent to understand being happy to see a poopy diaper after almost 2 days of nothing," but I can not imagine telling someone that they are unfulfilled because they don't have/want children.)
* I have two older step-sons.

[kcladyjane]

My husband and I are still "on the fence" about kids...He is 34 and I am 31.  I just babysat my 3 year old nephew for four hours this weekend and reaffirmed that I am probably good with no children...but I just can't quite get rid of the "will I regret not having children" thought.  AHHHH!

[Wisconsin Beth]

Mar 11, 2013 11:09:04 GMT -5 kcladyjane said:

My husband and I are still "on the fence" about kids...He is 34 and I am 31.  I just babysat my 3 year old nephew for four hours this weekend and reaffirmed that I am probably good with no children...but I just can't quite get rid of the "will I regret not having children" thought.  AHHHH!

I asked my older brother if he wanted more kids to raise last night.  I don't think he saw my IM though.  He didn't answer it if he did see it...  My 3 year old was driving me nuts.  Little snot would NOT go to sleep.  He growled at me at one point and I was so frustrated I growled back.  And he burst into tears.  There goes my shot at Mom of the Year...  And then his sister (5 in May)came out to see what was going on. 

[Elusions of Grandeur]

Beth - I think you SHOULD get Mom of the Year for growling!! That's hilarious. I'm sorry it upset him though.

[taz157]

Mar 11, 2013 18:52:37 GMT -5 Elusions of Grandeur said:

Beth - I think you SHOULD get Mom of the Year for growling!! That's hilarious. I'm sorry it upset him though.

Yeah that!!

[Peace Of Mind]

Mar 11, 2013 14:59:49 GMT -5 Wisconsin Beth said:

Mar 11, 2013 11:09:04 GMT -5 kcladyjane said:

My husband and I are still "on the fence" about kids...He is 34 and I am 31.  I just babysat my 3 year old nephew for four hours this weekend and reaffirmed that I am probably good with no children...but I just can't quite get rid of the "will I regret not having children" thought.  AHHHH!

I asked my older brother if he wanted more kids to raise last night.  I don't think he saw my IM though.  He didn't answer it if he did see it...  My 3 year old was driving me nuts.  Little snot would NOT go to sleep.  He growled at me at one point and I was so frustrated I growled back.  And he burst into tears.  There goes my shot at Mom of the Year...  And then his sister (5 in May)came out to see what was going on. 

That is hilarious!  You should have told him he was lucky and that the next time he doesn't listen to you you'll bite!    I really should write that parenting book one day.  I have such great ideas!   

[genericname]

I don't understand all the people that have to get all up in your business whether you have kids or not. Aren't you doing what works for you and yours? I can't imagine asking someone why they don't have kids or something. What if they want kids but can't have them? That would have to be like stabbing them in the heart and twisting the knife. How rude.

We didn't have kids til late - I was 39, hubby was 42. Now we have another on the way. Oops. Now we are catching hell for being too old to have another kid. WTH? You can't win. NOT looking forward to a couple more years of diapers! I was hoping we were almost through with that sh!t.

[Deleted]

Congratulations generic! 

ETA: Just realized the irony of congratulating someone on their pregnancy on a thread titled "NO KIDS".  

[genericname]

Thank you!

[Wisconsin Beth]

I was enjoying the comment about diapers "being though with that shit"    But I'm in a weird place today.