The Attraction Towards A Bad Guy

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 11:42:47 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

Meh - to each his/her own. People have different reasons for being attracted to someone else - or a particular "type". If they're happy, what does it matter to anyone else but them? It's our own lives and relationships we should be focused on. The straight-laced conservative couple can have the same happiness or problems as the bad boy/good girl couple - or the bad boy/bad girl couple. Who are we to judge why someone's attracted to someone else?

Live and let live.

What gets me is people who complain about being played as if they had no control over the situation. In reality maybe they got dumped but prefer to say they got played? I dunno whatever....

[Reckless Roselia]

Stupidity is giving your heart to a known womanizer. You can only toy with him as he toys with you. 

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

What gets me is people who complain about being played as if they had no control over the situation. In reality maybe they got dumped but prefer to say they got played? I dunno whatever....

Exactly - it's always much easier to blame a failed relationship on the other person - whether it's actually true or not. Most people aren't eager to admit something might be their own fault.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Feb 18, 2013 12:20:40 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Stupidity is giving your heart to a known womanizer. You can only toy with him as he toys with you. 

I agree it's not the smartest move, Roselia, but I think some people go into it imagining THEY are the person this womanizer has been secretly looking for and who the womanizer will change their ways for.  Maybe that happens sometimes.  But not to anybody I know.

However, I wouldn't "toy" with anyone regardless of what they had done.  I try very hard (and sometimes lose the battle) to never allow the actions of another to affect my own.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 12:35:18 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Feb 18, 2013 12:20:40 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Stupidity is giving your heart to a known womanizer. You can only toy with him as he toys with you. 

I agree it's not the smartest move, Roselia, but I think some people go into it imagining THEY are the person this womanizer has been secretly looking for and who the womanizer will change their ways for.  Maybe that happens sometimes.  But not to anybody I know.

However, I wouldn't "toy" with anyone regardless of what they had done.  I try very hard (and sometimes lose the battle) to never allow the actions of another to affect my own.

I would assume it is a matter of perception. If a person believes they have been a victim of a womanizer and will not take any ownership of their contribution to the supposed relationship then the cycle is doomed to be repeated and this person will always see themselves as a victim. Not a good thing.

[Green Eyed Lady]

Agreed, JA.  I'm all about personal responsibility.  But I think, sometimes, people truly think they can change another person.  You are right, tho.  The fallout is strictly their own fault.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 12:44:31 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Agreed, JA.  I'm all about personal responsibility.  But I think, sometimes, people truly think they can change another person.  You are right, tho.  The fallout is strictly their own fault.

I agree also, going into any relationship thinking I am going to fix this guy is insanity and will never end well.

I also think that if a woman feels she has been played often then she might want to do some soul searching and consider what actions of her own might lead her to this same conclusion time and time again.

[Reckless Roselia]

Feb 18, 2013 12:35:18 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

Feb 18, 2013 12:20:40 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Stupidity is giving your heart to a known womanizer. You can only toy with him as he toys with you. 

I agree it's not the smartest move, Roselia, but I think some people go into it imagining THEY are the person this womanizer has been secretly looking for and who the womanizer will change their ways for.  Maybe that happens sometimes.  But not to anybody I know.

However, I wouldn't "toy" with anyone regardless of what they had done.  I try very hard (and sometimes lose the battle) to never allow the actions of another to affect my own.

You really cannot change someone's ways. And it's difficult changing yourself for someone you love... Change isn't easy. 

[weltschmerz]

Bad boys don't fall for good girls, good girls aren't even a challenge, they are easy pickings, Bad boys don't go for bad girls as they are a challenge and they are too busy scamming good guys, it's a process.

Wait....what? If bad boys don't fall for good girls or bad girls, who do they go for? Other bad boys?

[Green Eyed Lady]

Feb 18, 2013 13:20:03 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Feb 18, 2013 12:35:18 GMT -5 Green Eyed Lady said:

I agree it's not the smartest move, Roselia, but I think some people go into it imagining THEY are the person this womanizer has been secretly looking for and who the womanizer will change their ways for.  Maybe that happens sometimes.  But not to anybody I know.

However, I wouldn't "toy" with anyone regardless of what they had done.  I try very hard (and sometimes lose the battle) to never allow the actions of another to affect my own.

You really cannot change someone's ways. And it's difficult changing yourself for someone you love... Change isn't easy. 

I don't think I would change myself for another person, Roselia.  If I make changes, it's because I need to make them for myself.  Not for anyone else.  Now I don't mean that I wouldn't be more considerate and not throw my socks on the floor.  I mean anything major.

[Deleted]

Based upon personal observations

Some women take it as a challenge that they are the one that can "tame", or "fix", or change the bad boy

My brother never lacked for women willing to try

He went through them like a hot knife through butter

Why? He wasnt the best looking guy around....he definitely wasnt financially well off....never could understand the attractions till much later in life.....his personality attracted them like flowers attract bees....

I have always heard that guys have the "egos"

Women have egos also....and they know that they are the one that can tame this bad boy

Ooooh so many tears flowed around that man.....and never were shed by him

[ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ]

I'm still wondering about the OP - he claims he's a good guy - but in reality, he's in a live-in relationship with one woman (and enjoying all the benefits), while constantly pursuing/stalking another woman on the side - who's made it abundantly clear to him (MONTHS ago) that their friendship (or whatever kind of 'ship' they had) - is over. So he's basically cheating on his live-in (at least emotionally, if not more) - doesn't that make HIM the bad guy?

[weltschmerz]

I'm still wondering about the OP
---------------
We're all wondering.

[Jaguar]

Yup me too.

[frankq]

Well....Exactly how bad are we talking here....and do we get points for being willing to get worse??

[Green Eyed Lady]

lol

[Peace Of Mind]

Feb 16, 2013 20:36:52 GMT -5 zibazinski said:

The smart thing is to date the bad boy for fun but marry the nerd for stability! My roommate did just that and she's the happiest woman I know. 

Or in my case the smart thing to do is date the bad boy rocker for fun and when he grows up to be a responsible engineerd type you marry him.   But I sure miss his long hair and smokin' body.  But I'm sure he misses mine too. 

[zibazinski]

True enough, but sometimes they never do and it's a long wait. Not all are willing to wait.  Never marry anyone hoping to change them. My ex is still a child and when he dates children it works out but when they mature, it doesn't.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 6:04:37 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Feb 17, 2013 18:21:16 GMT -5 @bulldog said:

Bad boys don't fall for good girls, good girls aren't even a challenge, they are easy pickings, Bad boys don't go for bad girls as they are a challenge and they are too busy scamming good guys, it's a process.

Vulnerable is the keyword then. 

Books based on the good girl and bad boy sell ... ever come across a bad girl and bad boy book or a good girl and good boy one? Maybe but not as much. 

I was going to say Romeo and Juliet or West Side story, but as the boys and girls came form the wrong side of the tracks it made them bad guys in the eyes of the parents, so i will hush my mouth.

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 13:23:28 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Bad boys don't fall for good girls, good girls aren't even a challenge, they are easy pickings, Bad boys don't go for bad girls as they are a challenge and they are too busy scamming good guys, it's a process.

Wait....what? If bad boys don't fall for good girls or bad girls, who do they go for? Other bad boys?

I am sure that there is a few Bad Gay Boys out there.  

[Deleted]

I met my good guy through a bad guy so I can't be to hard on them.

[Robert not Bobby]

Feb 18, 2013 1:10:42 GMT -5 @joey said:

Feb 17, 2013 19:40:09 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

Apple you know that looks nothing like you...still. you are not bad looking.

You are very boyish with your backhanded compliments, some things never change.
At least my photo isn't from 1973.

Well done and well played...you know after all these years I still 'love' you in my own way...and HEY, you were more than a few decades off the mark.

It's just that this bad boy thing gets tiring. I'm not a bad boy because I've ended so many relationships...I still haven't found what I'm looking for...so call me picky.

Be well sweet Apple, you know I always wish nothing but the best for you.

[mmhmm]

Feb 18, 2013 13:23:28 GMT -5 weltschmerz said:

Bad boys don't fall for good girls, good girls aren't even a challenge, they are easy pickings, Bad boys don't go for bad girls as they are a challenge and they are too busy scamming good guys, it's a process.

Wait....what? If bad boys don't fall for good girls or bad girls, who do they go for? Other bad boys?

Man's best friend ... a good dog.

[Warlock]

 

 Hmmm, I thought this thread was about me. Yea I have a big ego. Carry on...

[mmhmm]

LOL!  Warlock, darlin', you're a sweetie-pie, but I won't tell anybody.

[mrsdutt]

Feb 15, 2013 6:55:13 GMT -5 Shooby said:

  I thought you didn't believe in the Bible welts.

I thought WELTS did a great job of getting her point across in a lady like manner.

[Reckless Roselia]

Attractiveness comes within the intentions and purpose of action from one's soul. A bad boy is no way attractive in his mannerisms ... if so then it's fake. 

[Robert not Bobby]

Mar 7, 2013 16:23:09 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Attractiveness comes within the intentions and purpose of action from one's soul. A bad boy is no way attractive in his mannerisms ... if so then it's fake. 

BINGO...the lady wins a prize. 

Reckless Roselia...you obviously know about alliteration, now that is sexy?

And let it be said, attractiveness is always a first look, superficial, what catcher our eye and makes us gravitate towards each other...when we get to know each other in a more complicated way, that is when the seed of love is planted.

[Reckless Roselia]

Mar 9, 2013 16:06:54 GMT -5 Robert not Bobby said:

Mar 7, 2013 16:23:09 GMT -5 Reckless Roselia said:

Attractiveness comes within the intentions and purpose of action from one's soul. A bad boy is no way attractive in his mannerisms ... if so then it's fake. 

BINGO...the lady wins a prize. 

Reckless Roselia...you obviously know about alliteration, now that is sexy?

And let it be said, attractiveness is always a first look, superficial, what catcher our eye and makes us gravitate towards each other...when we get to know each other in a more complicated way, that is when the seed of love is planted.

I love alliteration. It is sexy to the ears.

And I also agree with your interpretation of attractiveness. 

[Deleted]

Feb 18, 2013 12:30:08 GMT -5 ՏՇԾԵԵʅՏɧ_LԹՏՏʅҼ said:

What gets me is people who complain about being played as if they had no control over the situation. In reality maybe they got dumped but prefer to say they got played? I dunno whatever....

Exactly - it's always much easier to blame a failed relationship on the other person - whether it's actually true or not. Most people aren't eager to admit something might be their own fault.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein


When a woman continually picks "bad boys" and has her relationships end poorly, well she only has one person to blame.
How many of us know this woman? The one who cries on your shoulder about the jerk that dumped her and then she deftly picks out the same type to date again and again.  Its not the bad boys fault now is it?